Samantha Blacklock
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First chapter of Avelyn and Elizabeth's story
🕑 Added 2022-02-20 08:12:52 +0000 UTCHello! Here's the first part of the story ^^ This will come later in manga format, but for now I'd really like to know what you think! It is the first long story I ever share, so I'm a bit nervous ^^ I think I'm better writing Short POVs, but since this will be later illustrated, I tried a different approach.
Sorry if there's any grammar error or anything, I did my best to translate it (I'm not a native English speaker) and I used Grammarly to fix some mistakes, but I'm still not sure about everything.
By the way, I still don't have a name to this story, it's a bit difficult coming up with one D: Back in 2019 I wanted to call it "The girl behind the mask", but after the events of the last 2 years, I'm not really sure that's a good idea now D:
Anyway, I hope you like it! Any feedback will be greatly appreciated! <3
Pt. 1 When I met you.
I didn’t ask to be born.
I didn’t choose to be born, and if I could have chosen, I would have been born a woman.
If I could have chosen… My name would be Avelyn.
I hate my actual name.
A sad face, eyes full of tears just about to overflow. The only cloud on a sunny day.
Though she didn’t look like what one would expect, she was a girl. Short and messy black hair, a T-shirt, and men’s jeans. Anyone would say that it was a boy. That, precisely, was the one thing that made her cry.
She walked the streets carrying a backpack and a messenger bag until she found a tree to sit beneath.
Her head sank between her knees, as she held her glasses in one of her hands.
Ever since I was 6 I’ve prayed to the skies, “please, let me wake up tomorrow as a girl”.
I never got an answer.
I’m tired.
― Hey ―she heard a voice near ―. Are you okay?
She looked up. Her sight was blurry without her glasses, but she could see enough to distinguish that person. It was a young woman, with light skin, black and short hair, and light-colored eyes. She was wearing a red hoodie and black jeans, and despite her modest clothing, her figure made Avelyn feel envious.
― Yeah, I just… ―She looked down to the floor again ―.
― Can I help?
― I… don’t think you can, but thanks.
The woman sat by her side.
― I’ll wait ‘till I’m sure you’re fine, okay?
There was no answer.
― But, if I’m bothering you, I’ll leave.
After a few seconds, Avelyn finally shook her head to say no.
― What is your name?
― I… I don’t want to talk about it…
― Why not? Okay… Can I tell you mine?
― Sure ―she forced herself to say.
― I’m Elizabeth, but you can call me Lizzy. How old are you?
― Sixteen.
― Oh, I see. I’m nineteen.
Avelyn put on her glasses and turned to see Elizabeth.
― Why d- ―Avelyn stopped abruptly ―.
Finally, she saw her face. She had blue eyes and her smooth skin was adorned with freckles over her cheeks and nose. Avelyn was suddenly paralyzed.
― Hey, do you want an ice cream? I’ll buy you one!
― N- No, I’m fine.
― Come on! What’s your favorite flavor? And please, don’t say no.
― … mint chocolate chip, or pistachio…
― Good! I’ll be back in a moment! ―Elizabeth smiled widely ―.
Avelyn was astonished by her beauty. As soon as Elizabeth walked away, she looked to be feeling pain again.
You’re so pretty. I wish I was as pretty as you.
In some other life, maybe…
After a couple of minutes, Elizabeth came back holding two ice creams. She gave one to Avelyn.
― Here, pistachio and mint chocolate.
― Thank you.
― How are you feeling now? ―she asked while taking a seat ―.
― I’m better, thank you.
― You don’t look better, come on, tell me what happened.
― I… I’m not sure if I should talk about it, I don’t want to be a burden…
― You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but if you need to vent, hey, here I am. You know? I know what crying and having nobody to listen to is like. Well, I want to listen. Let me be your friend.
― I don’t think you want to befriend someone like me.
― Did you do something evil or something?
― No! Well, I think I didn’t…
― Then, why do you say that?
― Why do you care so much? Why are you being so nice? ― Avelyn couldn’t understand why this stranger tried so much to “help” ―.
― I don’t know who you are, and you don’t know who I am, but I know what being alone is like. I’ve been through a lot, and I wish I had someone to keep me company, but I had no one. I’m just trying to be the person I needed when I was in a bad place, the person sometimes I still need. If more people were willing to listen and help, this would be a different world ― Elizabeth smiled towards Avelyn ―. They say the loneliest people are the kindest, and I know that’s true, ‘cause we know what it feels like, and we don’t want anyone else going through the same.
Avelyn stared at Elizabeth with eyes wide open, as she started to ask herself if she could trust this girl she just had met.
If you know the truth about me, would you still smile so warmly?
―… I left my house. I just couldn’t stay there, I hated it. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I don’t want to go back.
― May I know why?
― I… My parents want me to be something I’m not, I can’t, but they still tried to change me. I’d rather die.
― Don’t say that ―Elizabeth said in a worried voice ―.
― But it’s true! I told my mom how I felt, and she made me want to die, or rather, she made me wish I wasn’t even born at all.
Elizabeth kept quiet for a few seconds.
― What are you going to do now?
― I don’t know ―Avelyn’s voice started to crack ―. I don’t know where to go. I don’t have anyone.
― Well, you have me.
Avelyn just turned her head in disbelief.
― Thanks.
― I’m serious! ― Elizabeth leaned forward, emphasizing her words ―. If you have nowhere to go and you can’t go back, you can stay with me.
― I don’t want to be a burden. I’ll try to find a job and a place to stay.
― You’re not a burden, why do you insist on that? Besides, you’re underage. I don’t think you’ll be able to find a well-paid job that allows you to pay rent and have at least one meal a day. Look, I live alone. You can stay with me for now and when you find a job, we’ll split the rent and it will be easier for both of us. You’ll be like my roomie.
― I… Don’t think you want to live with someone like me.
― What did you do?
― Nothing, I just think I’m a weirdo, with strange dreams, weird, at least.
― I don’t understand what you’re talking about.
― I don’t want to disappoint you ― Avelyn held her tears as much as she could ―.
― You won’t. The only thing I’m expecting from you is a chance to be your friend.
― But… Going to your house? I don’t know…
― Apartment. And yes, you know, or would you rather spend the night here on the streets? It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about what happened, I’m okay knowing you’re not a bad guy, but I won’t feel calm if I leave you here.
― I’m not a bad… guy. And I don’t know if I should trust a stranger.
― You shouldn’t, but hey, I bought you ice cream! ― Elizabeth laughed ―. We’re not strangers anymore!
Avelyn thought for a moment.
― Can I say no?
― No ― Elizabeth said with another smile ―.
---
Both girls arrived at Elizabeth's apartment. It was only a few blocks from where they met.
Now that they both were standing, Avelyn realized that Elizabeth was just a bit taller than her, probably around 3 to 5 centimeters.
Elizabeth took the keys out of her pocket and opened the door.
― Sorry for the mess. Sometimes it's hard to find the time to clean.
Avelyn entered carrying her two bags.
― Have a seat. Can I offer you water, tea, ethanol? Or… Hemlock? ― Elizabeth said with a wicked smile ―.
― I- I’m fine…
― Just kidding! Relax and make yourself a home. If you need anything, just let me know.
― Thanks.
― That’s the kitchen ― she pointed as she was walking towards it ―. My room is over there, and the bathroom is on the right. That room at the end is not occupied, but it isn’t furnished either. You can sleep on the sofa while we get a bed.
― Thank you.
Elizabeth came back with a glass of water.
― So, tell me a little about you.
― I… don’t know what to say. Sorry, I just, I… I don’t know how to explain. Sorry for not talking much.
― It’s okay… sorry if I’m being too pushy, I’m forcing you to talk just because I’m lonely.
― What about your family? ― Avelyn asked ―.
― My parents died a couple of years ago in a car accident caused by a drunk asshole. I had been dealing with a broken heart that affected me more than it should, and then I lost the only family I had.
― Oh, I’m… I’m so sorry, I didn’t want-
― No, it’s okay ― Elizabeth interrupted ―. It’s better if you know why I’m doing this. When they died, I became really depressed, of course. Thing is that... Nobody really wanted to deal with my endless sadness. That's when I found out that I didn't really have friends. They all ended up walking away, and it hurt, because I realized that they only were near me when I had something to give, but not when I needed something. Then I got sick, really sick. I thought I was not going to make it, but it didn’t matter, I was ready to go. I wanted to die. And then, when I was on the line to get on the stairway to heaven, they told me it wasn’t my turn yet and I had to remain seated, and here I am, lonely and depressed, hoping to find new people to share my life with. I always try to smile and be positive, but sometimes I want to cry and there’s no one to comfort me. I’m tired of being lonely.
― Lizzy, I… I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through, my problems don’t compare at all. I want to be… I want you to be my friend, I just need to fix a few things in my head before I tell you my story, and… I hope I don’t disappoint you…
― You don’t have to worry. May I know your name now?
― I… ― Avelyn looked really troubled ―.
― That question really makes you uncomfortable, doesn’t it? It’s okay, I won’t ask you again, but if you have a nickname or something I could call you, that’d be great.
― I’ll think about it, sorry.
― Good! Now, we have to see how you’re going to sleep.
---
At night, while Avelyn was sleeping, Elizabeth took her backpack and looked inside.
She found some clothes and recognized the fabric as soon as she touched them. It was a female garment. She took it out and discovered a brown, slightly shabby dress. Upon closer inspection, she realized it was ripped in some places as if someone had torn it apart. More clothes were in the bag, all seemed to be women’s.
She left everything back and tried to take the messenger bag, but Avelyn was too close to it.
Elizabeth decided that it was too risky and went back to her room.
---
Next part
Comments
Cubes Endurance
That's alright. It takes time to find the right name once you do everything clicks in. It's not at all boring and I highly enjoy reading it. ☺️
Samantha Blacklock
AAAAAAAAAHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH! I hadn't received a comment like yours x) So it makes me really happy! <3 I'm reaaaally insecure about my writing, specially in this format, but I'm glad you think the story is believable! I've put a lot of though in it, trying to make it make sense, which sometimes I worry will make it boring x) Yeah I thought so x) I'll have to give it a different name, but so far I don't have an idea that convinces me TTnTT
Cubes Endurance
Oh my goodness you capture the feeling of feeling like a monster, of something that's strange and undesirable. Held without proof because it was forced upon you by your parents. Regarding grammar I didn't see any outright issues that really struck me. I could absolutely pass over with a finer comb if you'd like. You've done a phenomenal job and I'm not just saying that, it's a book that I'd pickup and read even as a short story (that is not manga format). I love the care that you use even with the gendered terms in the text here 😭 Elizabeth's reasons are pure and not at all self centred. I've definitely dealt with people in her scenario which are around when you have something to give and not around when you need to be supported, nurtured and cared for. Sorry to sound like a broken record but you're painting an absolutely vivid, real and not rose coloured picture of reality which makes it so believable. Your description of the world and scenes makes this a movie that I feel sad when the text ends because the world evaporates and I'm left desperately trying to hold onto. It's stunning. Regarding the name 'The Women Behind' or such. I definitely agree that having the word 'mask' isn't a good idea because of the pandemic. > . <
