Fredozy
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Chapter 71: The gifts
🕑 Added 2025-08-26 10:17:55 +0000 UTCEliot leaned back against the chair, his expression looked thoughtful. “So now what? We still need to find a way to get you back here ASAP.”
Quentin nodded, exhaling. “Yeah. At least now that we know you’re stuck in an alternate universe, it makes things a little easier.
Penny scoffed and said, “ Yeah but still… we don’t have his coordinate so we don’t have anything.”
“Shit,” Quentin muttered.
Kai broke the silence. “What about the Neitherlands? If I can get there and locate the portal to our Earth, it should work, right?”
Julia frowned. “The Neitherlands? What’s that?”
“It’s Grand Central Station for the multiverse,” Penny explained, his tone dry. “A point where every world connects.”
Kai smirked, glancing Julia’s way. “Think of it as… the DMV of infinity. A place nobody wants to visit, but everyone eventually has to.”
Julia giggled despite herself, earning a sideways look from Alice. “Do you think my alternate self could help you out with that?” Alice asked.
“I asked,” Kai said with a shrug. “There’s nothing she can do. It comes down to having a Traveler take me. That’s the only way… I’m sure we’ll find a way”
Alice sighed, shoulders slumping.
“Our problems just keep on multiplying,” Margo cut in, throwing both hands into the air dramatically.
Kai arched a brow. “How so?”
“Well,” Margo said, looking around at the others, “aside from your little traffic jam between worlds, we’re still stuck with the Beast problem. And the way I see it, we’ve got two options.” She held up one hand. “Either we find our way into Fillory and track down that god-killing knife…” She raised her other hand. “…or we surrender the button to the mothra of a man.”
Eliot made a face. “I’m gonna go ahead and vote ‘yes’ on handing the bastard the button.”
Penny rolled his eyes so hard it hurt. “How the fuck do you all keep forgetting that I’m still a Traveler? Which means hello? still a problem for the Beast. Even if he spared the rest of you, which is laughable, he’s not going to stop hunting down Travelers. Fillory, Earth, wherever.”
“ Yeah we’ll have to deal with that little bit of problem too.” Kai said
Alice narrowed her eyes. “Wait Kai. What exactly did you do to Beast-Fogg again? I know you said you and my other self trapped him, but… what did you actually do?”
Kai grinned, almost boyish, raising his fist and counting off with his fingers. “Let’s see. First, I laid an unassuming trap. Then… my neck got snapped. Which pro tip hurts like hell.”
“Wait, your neck was snapped?” Julia asked, eyes widening.
“Yeah,” Kai said casually. “But I got better. Refund policy and all. One of the perks of my existence.” He leaned back, smirking. “Honestly, the aftertaste was worse than the death.”
They all just stared at him, faces paling.
Kai glanced between them. “What? That’s irrelevant.”
“Oh sure,” Eliot deadpanned. “Having your neck snapped is totally irrelevant.”
“Exactly,” Kai said smoothly. “Anyway… we tricked him. Then found out he had this charming little hobby of peeping on girls.”
Margo grimaced. “Please don’t tell me—”
“Oh yeah,” Kai cut in, pointing at Alice. “He was peeping at her alternate self. But don’t worry, it was just a bug he planted inside her head.”
Alice froze. “A what?” Her face went pale as she sank into a chair, hand pressed to her temple. “God, I feel sick.”
Kai continued as if nothing happened. “Right, so after that, I caused him a tiny bit of discomfort with a pain inflicting spell. And you know, the usual: hand through the heart.” He flexed his fingers as if remembering the motion. “Though, to be fair, he went first. I just returned the favor.”
“You did What?!” Julia blurted.
“Oh yeah,” Kai said with almost playful nonchalance. “He punched his hand straight through my chest. And I simply… returned the gesture.”
The others shifted uncomfortably as Kai added, “And then maybe just maybe I dismembered him a little. And, for good measure, petrified the bastard.”
They all stared at him, horrified, until Margo finally muttered, “The fuck.”
“Oh, and I also got him all over me when Alice smashed his petrified corpse into pieces,” Kai added with a careless shrug. “She wanted Beast-Fogg to be more than dead, and hey, I deliver.” He smiled innocently, the kind of smile that only made everyone stare at him like he’d completely lost his mind.
Penny broke the silence with a sharp laugh. “Yeah, we need to get you back here ASAP to square off with the Beast. Because honestly? I love everything you just said.”
“Yeah,” Quentin said, running a hand through his hair. “I mean, we were actually going to try a probability spell. See what exactly we could do to survive the Beast. But if you can literally dog-walk the Beast, then… well, we’ve got our own nuke to aim.”
Julia raised her hands quickly. “Whoa, whoa, wait, first we need to get him back. That comes before any Beast-killing plan.”
Kai leaned back casually on his chair, a grin tugging at his lips. “Yeah, but that’s not the first thing. The first thing is you all need to prepare in case I don’t get back on time.”
Penny frowned, crossing his arms. “Meaning?”
“Well,” Kai said, tapping his chin, “if I were to guess, I’d say you guys would waste time trying to learn some basic battle spells, right?”
Alice nodded reluctantly. “That was… kind of the plan.”
“Yeah, no,” Kai replied flatly. “That’s too much effort. I’ve got something better.”
Quentin blinked at him. “And that would be…?”
Kai’s smirk widened. “I’ll be teaching you offensive spells my parents created during their travels. They didn’t just learn magic during their travels around the world, they learned how to convert it into something personal and unique to them. Their own personal arsenal.”
Eliot raised his glass with a grin. “Well, isn’t that sweet of you? Sharing the family recipe.”
Kai spread his arms dramatically. “Don’t all thank me at once. I know I’m the best. I give the best gifts.”
Julia chuckled softly. “That’s true. He does give the best gifts.”
“See?” Kai gestured to her. “Julia already knows a few of my personal spells. So now that we’ve got a plan you’ll all wake up. Julia, you head to Brakebills and teach them what I taught you.”
Julia arched a brow. “Oh, especially the fire one?”
Kai gave her a sly grin, lowering his voice to a whisper only she caught. “Oh yeah. Margo would love that one.”
With a shake of his hand, a folded sheet of parchment appeared between his fingers, before settling into his palm. He held it out.
“Three spells,” Kai said smoothly. “All yours.”
He pointed to the first line written in a neat, bold script.
“Bone Breaking Spell or as I like to call it the Maiming Spell.”
“The spell allows you to violently crack the bones of a target. Don’t worry, it’s exactly as fun as it sounds. Incantation: Ossox. Phasmatos Ossox. Errox femus.”
Quentin winced. “Ouch. That’s… intense.”
Kai only grinned and moved on.
“Next is my favorite and it’s the Pain Infliction Spell.
“This one induces unbearable pain and tends to… well, make a few blood vessels pop.” His tone turned sing-song. “Use it on someone and they’ll bleed from their ears, nose, and eyes. Very cinematic. The incantation is Phasmatos superous en animi...”
“Damn, dude,” Penny muttered. “Your parents must’ve been stone cold to come up with that.”
Kai smirked, eyes glinting. “You have no idea.”
Finally, his finger tapped the last spell.
“And lastly we have the Immobilization Spell.”
“A good old magical hold. Freezes your target where they stand, restricting them completely. If your magic is strong enough, it can even subdue someone like me an Original vampire. If you’re lucky.”
He folded the paper back and pressed it into Julia’s hand.
“Quentin,” Kai said sharply, “go pick her up. Penny, tell the Dean I said, for the love of God, let the brilliant mind back into the fold. Jane was dumb for removing her in the first place.”
“Wait, what?” Quentin asked, startled. “Who—?”
Kai cut him off with a lazy wave. “Later.”
And before any of them could argue, the world around them snapped and dissolved. Darkness rushed in, and one by one, they blacked out.
