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Chapter 42

🕑 Added 2024-02-11 15:32:50 +0000 UTC

Comments

TyrTheFallen

Never did like Saw always felt like he did not really fight for a cause but for himself.

Marick

Same, very confusing

Mr. Bigglesworth

Ah, but death is not the final frontier for droids as they have....memory cores!

Blaine Blatz

And if they die, who cares? Droids.

Berusella

I have to say that Verala's death was unsatisfactory. There was little to no build up. I still dont know her relationship with Rain apart from few last sentences. There should have been at least some of the chapter deacribing her rebel hunt, during which rains and hers backstory would be explained.

Hyperion

It actually hit me pretty hard but it’s not just because of the story… some things came up in my personal life and her death just ruined my morning. Great story though, I am looking forward to more :)

Pat wheeler

I don’t think it’s supposed to make sense if you’re thinking rationally. Of course, Saw and rationally have never been the best of friends

Peter

I agree, I think Steela might have been a good asset for Rain but now there’s no way she’d work with him unless who caused Saw’s death is covered up

windoverwaves

Cool

elsicava

Changed it as well

windoverwaves

Np. Any word with the Barriss thing? Did she say she was on the Unicorn during Columix because that's a name Anakin will recognise?

elsicava

Fixed on all sites, thanks.

windoverwaves

I don't think so. Chapter 30, paragraph 5

elsicava

what the- where is it? did it happen more than one time?

Quentin Johnson

I noticed Diedrich calling himself a commodore too. That’s a strange edit

windoverwaves

'because Onderonians are far less rational than the galactic standard. I supposed that was the reason why I found the galaxy far more pleasant than this hellhole. People like Sev’rance Tann, Calli Trilm, Simon Greyshade–they always wanted what was best for themselves. It was rational, it was simple. When I asked for something, they would follow through so long as they had something to gain from it as well.' And that, was Rain deluding himself. See: Calli placing herself in Trench's debt to persuade him to speak against Grievous. Rain was very confused. 'What? That Calli Trilm, placing herself in someone else's debt for no personal benefit?' Also see: Calli being in the Antemeridian Sector risking herself 'pushing Republic forces back into the Mid Rim and fortifying our front against any further incursions.' right after Columix with a battered force. Also note that Rain left out Diedrich Greyshade, who does put the Commonality, and through it, the Confederacy before himself. Also, His ship was the first in his squadron to charge and unlike Rain, he doesn't seem to have slowed down midway to be in the middle of the pack, and was also be dancing around the Legacy right till the the Fourth jumped in. (Also, on a reread, what's up with Diedrich calling himself a Commodore when declaring a Red Alert in the system in Chapter 30? Moreover, last chapter, Barriss told the Anakin she was on the Unicorn, but she was not? According to 31, she was on the Messenger in Flames)

SUP Dood

Based off the dialog in the chapter I’m hoping this means growth for Rains character

Brioche

Appreciate the extended ending, resolves some question marks, though my overall opinion of the chain of events here is largely the same. I’m guessing he has some plan to use Steela and her crew in broader galactic events, but I’m a little disappointed with Saw being executed from a meta standpoint. Not to deny him his justice, but I don’t know that I’d buy Steela collaborating closely with the guy who got her brother executed, even if it was justified.

Enkelados

People seem to love this chapter, but tbh, I have no fucking Idea whats going an and who the people are and why I should care about them.

Sam

Thanks for the chapter

N0T0B0K

Rip Verala.

Flash Red

Doubt it, Rain would feel repulsed at the idea of being anything like Anakin.

Flash Red

I agree, while Valera/Alvera’s character was definitely interesting and noteworthy. There simply was not enough scenes of her for us readers to feel a genuine attachment to her death. Honestly I only feel bad that she would have made an excellent field agent for Rain’s future cabinet as comes with his new Admiral promotion. But also because I thought she would have been a good love interest if Rains’ relationship with the other chick didn’t work out.

Docnox

So plot point, ‘Rain loses old friend and learns people aren't driods.’ Good for the overall story, 4/10 on the execution. A bit late in the big story too for that matter. This would have been nice much earlier but he didn’t have anyone close to him that wasn’t a droid until this arc.

Docnox

For example, this arc. THe woman who died only had two scenes previously, so three. None of which were from her perspective. Instead there was multiple chapters from Saw’s perspective. Whom is going to be executed so that was a choice. So we feel for saw instead of the person Rain lost. But because none of these characters will be with us moving forward, none of them count towards Rain’s character arc any better than having one chapter with this end scene and working back slightly from there with the general’s speech. Instead there were 5 or so chapters that danced around this plot point, not from rain’s perspective, and then he got the same speech from two people in one chapter.

Docnox

Too many narratives are being juggled while everything feels at two extremes of thinly or over explained. The overall plot is like a 9/10, the in chapter narrative is more of a 7, but the character work is maybe a 5 at best. I usually break it down with word count as a very loose guideline. How much of the chapter/arc is dedicated to characters/narrative/exposition. This one feels 15/35/50 ish. This story leans super heavily on exposition. Theres not enough character focus.

Docnox

It felt flat to me because there was very little weight to the death. The story really struggles to create attachment or maintain consistency with any character other than rain or scout.

Mr. Bigglesworth

This is why he only trusts droids. They don't screw the pooch and go off on their own to do stupid things or promise idiot stuff to the enemies.

Kriegsdude

I think an idea would be for, from Saw's perspective that alvera is about to sell out and punich the leaders (i.e Saw and Steela) for punichment but not the common rebels. So Saw thinks that the rest of the members are throwing them to the wolves to save their own skins. It could then lead to him thinking that killing her will make it so all the blame falls on him and completely ignores his sister comparitively.

Brioche

Hm. Bias in inherent no matter what, I have to fight off "I liked this character so I don't want them to die" :P, so that's fair. I think the moment would at the very least be less confusing if there's some slight reference to why his blood runs cold when he realizes the implications of Valera mentioning Steela. Right now, all we get is the "had to protect her" afterward, which gets us part of the way there, but I don't think it's quite close enough for the last leap in logic. Like I said before, I don't necessarily think the line of logic is fitting for Saw and the situation, but it's definitely better if it's clear to the reader. It doesn't need to be spelled out, but it seems a little too "left to you to draw conclusions" at the moment, so the moment is jarring.

Peter

This chapter was an absolute masterpiece. The character development and payoff was well worth it! Thank you for taking the time to give this arc the justice it deserves

Flash Red

This was great! Now we see if everything Rain said to Anakin about honourable conduct in battle/war is followable under emotional duress.

Mirrthful

Mm, agree to disagree, but that might be because I have author bias. If you have any ideas for a better execution of events, I'm all ears.

Pegysussy

Shit, that's depressing

Brioche

I still don’t really get why Saw shot Alvera. I saw your explanation above of trying to hide that Steela let the spy into their ranks - but you also showed that he had already processed and considered the fact that these aren’t diehard soldiers, these are normal people. It falls flat that he would immediately kill the person who gave them a way out to protect his sister from a group he has actively identified “just want to live”. I think the death is a good punctuation of the character development for Rain from this series of events, but I think the execution could be refined.

EnderScroll

Thanks for the chapter. Even though this is a pretty sad one. Just hoping Rain doesn’t pull an Anakin.

G Gill

He’s gonna kill them all isn’t he? Oh man, I wonder if she can still be “revived” into a cyborg. Though I think it’s already been too long since she died so probably not.

elsicava

Update: Added a bit more to end to flesh out the ending.

Ambrose

To Dineshraj, because formatting on mobile is ambiguous, I explicitly stated it was not? A second, unrelated fic killed a major character for cheap shock value, and I am more sensitive to character death than normal because of it.

Notcreepycreeper

Fuck Mirthfully for doing this. But also, it’s good writing. Bontaneri has been a touch too omnipotent - which makes sense, given his future knowledge - but takes away from character growth.

Jacob

Love the chapter, but it's killing me to wait for what happens next.

Omgitsbakon

idk that didn't make sense to me when I read it, and from your explanation idk why it'd matter that they would know that it was steela's fault, they lost anyways, if anything he put steel in more danger by killing alvera

Dineshraj Dhandapani

how is this cheap shock value? It is pretty woven in the plot. Nothing seems 'lol, so random'

EnderScroll

I think the message was when things don’t go to plan people die. As well as some people do more that is expected of them.

Ambrose

Sometimes people die randomly in real life. I, personally, have had people close to me die randomly and painfully. There is a lot to be said for the subversion of tropes, and I likely would be more ok with this if the other fiction had not so recently stabbed me in the back. That said, for me personally, this chapter was an experience I wish I had skipped.

Ambrose

I, 8 hours ago, dropped a fic because they killed a character for cheap shock value pretty far into the series. This is… not that, but the message of “sometimes people don’t act like characters would” falls a bit flat when these are actually characters. I’m… not the right person to say if this was a good choice.

Orbnet

Damn :/

Mrsean22

Well looks like the rebels are losing but damn did Saw did something he probably shouldn't. But Rain is learning a lesson that not everyone is gonna be rational and even go beyond orders given. Which is probably what is gonna happen again with his new subordinates once they leave the planet.

Armo

Character development! Drama! Guilt! This chapter has it all! The battle seems to be going alright for the Izizians for now. I hope Alvera/Verala can be resuscitated using advanced Separatist technology - if they saved Trench, they can save someone from a blaster hit! Can’t wait to see how Bonteri’s new Onderonian crew develops. They seem to me the prime candidates for actual friends/comrades for Bonteri, feeding into what Tandrin told Bonteri about control and trust.

Demonuss

The tragic cycle of death and war continues. Vengeance will be had, innocent blood will be spent. For reasons even the guilty do not comprehend.

elsicava

Because Steela's the one who allowed 'Alvera' to join the rebels, by accepting her into the group. That means she allowed a spy into their ranks. Saw wanted to prevent everyone from finding out 'Alvera' was a spy, because it would reveal that everything was Steela's fault.

PearsMan

So Saw tried to push them to one side by going to the extreme on the other? Why did he have to shoot Alvera to keep her sister safe? Def a good representation of how having a strict plan falls apart the moment soemone goes off script, so he forced the script to happen another way. Consequences be damned I guess

Mad Max

Welp, that took a turn.

Triangulum

Hell yeah new chapter let’s go

elsicava

Sorry about the late chapter folks. Hope you had a great lunar new year!


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