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Before They Were Night Vale: God can help you with anything
🕑 Added 2020-09-11 15:31:24 +0000 UTCWelcome to "Before They Were Night Vale", our feature in which Night Vale creators Jeffrey and Joseph share writing from before their Welcome to Night Vale collaboration, along with commentary. Come explore their early writing, both good and bad.
(NOTE: Below is a tiny play I wrote back in 2007, and you can play along. Maybe even post your results in the comments if you feel so inclined to share. Stay tuned to the end. I’ll keep it short. - jeffrey)
The Bible is weird. Maybe the book itself isn’t weird, but the way we sometimes use it is weird. I grew up around people who liked quoting Bible verses as a form of self help. Feeling lost? Maybe try this random patch of text, completely out of context, that was written millennia ago and rewritten dozens of times over the following centuries in order to fit the selfish political needs of monarchs and popes?
But The Bible also contains some pretty insidious shit about homosexuality, menstruation, and working on Saturdays. Not to mention all the boring stuff about who begat whom, and how long a cubit is.
I thought it might be fun to play around with this idea that the Bible is a well of helpful ideas. But instead of picking and choosing only the passages that are pithy and wise, what if we allowed ourselves the entire book to mine for advice? And what if we did it randomly? So here’s that play.
God can help you with anything.
© 2007, Jeffrey Cranor
[ 1 & 2 sit center. 2 lays their head on 1's shoulder. ]
1: What's wrong?
2: [ briefly explains a problem/conundrum/dilemma s/he is facing right now. ]
[ 3 enters with Bible; stands next to 1; flips to a random verse, points to it and hands Bible to 1; 3 exits ]
1: [ Reads verse aloud to 2 (including saying the book, chapter and verse number at the start). ]
2: [ responds]
CURTAIN
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Play along at home!If you have a problem or concern you’re dealing with, state that issue aloud, and then use this Random Bible Verse Generator to see if God is any help: https://randomwordgenerator.com/bible.php
I’ll go first.
ME: I’m struggling to confront my family about their support for Trump.
RANDOM BIBLE VERSE: Isaiah 30:4 – “Though they have officials in Zoan and their envoys have arrived in Hanes.”
Comments
Jessie Bond
Problem: I’m afraid someday I won’t be able to beat back the waves of anxiety that threaten to consume me. Verse: James 4:9 “Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.”
Half Bred Chaos
You have a surprisingly relevant one too. Were I a pastor it'd be easy to spin this into a "Don't worry, it's out of your hands, trust God will fight against the illness and give you victory" sort of speech.
Half Bred Chaos
Problem: I'm worried about getting along well with my supervisors and coworkers. Proverbs 16:7: When the LORD takes pleasure in anyone's way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them. This is weirdly relevant, sorry bro I broke yer game. : P
FloatAwayLilly
Problem: I have increasing anxiety about losing my job RBV: Genesis 44:1- Each of them quickly lowered his sack to the ground and opened it.
Gill Eshman
Can't find my bible so using the Qur'an instead - Problem: I am having trouble getting motivated to write my report. Surah (17) Al-Isra 84: Say "Everyone acts according to his own disposition: but your Lord knows best Who it is that is best guided on the Way." 2284
Sebastian C. Ravel
Me: Two of the things that have brought me the greatest fulfillment and joy - live performance (both performing and attending), and going out to dance in crowds until I get a little Dionysian-revel rush going on - are not possible now as they were before, and it might be years until they are possible again as they were before. I have other things to work on and do, but these are big parts of my life that are now missing, and it's a first world problem, sure, but it's eating away at me. Random Bible Verse: 1 Corinthians 14:10 "Undoubtedly there are all sorts of languages in the world, yet none of them is without meaning."
Brittany Rose
Me: My anxiety has been heightened for ages now and I’ve been overwhelmed by an overbearing feeling of dread that consumes my every waking moment. RBV: 2 Corinthians 11:26 I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own people, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers.
Marko Filipović
Me: I feel guilty for not contributing more to my family finances and spending too much on myself. RBV: Ezekiel 7:2 "Son of man, this is what the Sovereign LORD says to the land of Israel: "The end! The end has come upon the four corners of the land!""
M
Me: my mom's dementia is getting worse and she gets increasingly more mad when I don't remember what she remembers. I feel guilty for avoiding her texts or phone calls. RBV: 2 Samuel 11:15 "In it he wrote, 'Put Uriah out in front where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.'"
Pat Lusk
Me: I’m worried about my sister who is being admitted to the hospital today. RBV: Deuteronomy 20:4 For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.
Emily Speck
I feel like I’m the only one making any effort in my friendships. Job 26:5 Passage: "The dead are in deep anguish, those beneath the waters and all that live in them.
Julian Fiander
Me: I feel like I'm just not able to focus on the things that I know matter to me. Random Bible Verse: Exodus 35:6 "Blue, purple, and scarlet yarn and fine linen; goat hair"
