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Director's Notes: 196 - Silas the Thief, Part 2
🕑 Added 2021-10-15 18:03:24 +0000 UTC[NOTE: as always, director's notes contain spoilers]
I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately. Who deserves it? I'm not talking about the rhetoric around "cancel culture." If you can still listen to Michael Jackson's music, or you think Joe Rogan does good interviews, or whatever, I'm not talking about that. You don't know those people, and neither do I. There's no forgiveness to be given nor accepted.
But I'm talking about the micro, not the macro. What of our ability to forgive those closest to us.
Basically, I'm wondering if "I'm sorry" is ever enough.
For me, the apology is just the wrapping on the present. It has no intrinsic value. It is simply the visible decor that contains the gift. Perhaps that gift is something you've always wanted, or maybe something you didn't know you wanted. Or maybe it's completely useless and uninspired. They clearly just grabbed something off the discount shelf at Home Goods and said "thought of you."
So what makes a good gift and, metaphorically, a strong case for forgiveness. For me, it's something that demonstrates an understanding of you. The best gifts are ones that you didn't tell the person you wanted, but it's clear that they have listened to you, paid attention to what you love and what you do. And they got you something you never asked for, but that you absolutely enjoy.
When it comes to making amends, an apology is useless if it doesn't contain within it some acknowledgement that you have been seen and understood. And more than that, if you are truly apologetic, then you will, too, layout what your plans for change are. ("I'm sorry I didn't come to your party, and that I didn't even call to tell you I couldn't come. I know I have been distant from you, and that's not acceptable. I will do better. I will be more communicative.")
Is that an acceptable apology? IDK. Depends on who you are and who the apologizer is. The number one thing you must accept if you are the one seeking atonement is that there is a possibility your apology is not accepted. And you must be okay with that. You're the one who fucked up. An apology doesn't mean shit if it's not unanimously supported.
This is such a deep and complex topic, that I'm not going to be able to fully explore in these 500 words, so I hope that I at least set up some basic ideas that I've been flipping about in my mind while making these 2 episodes.
In 196, we hear Silas wanting to be heard, yet he's not willing to hear anyone else. He's surrounded by so many who love him (including his children), yet he still claims to be alone. He's an individualist. He thinks because he has been punished by Sandrine, that he should be forgiven.
But I'm not so sure any of that is true. He's still angry at Sandrine, still a touch sexist, still a narcissist, still lacking self-awareness. But he's learning. Isn't that enough, Silas wonders?
Maybe. But why are you learning? Are you following a path of self-improvement just to demonstrate to the world that you're worthy of it's forgiveness? Or are you following this path because you wish to be a better person for the sake of being a better person?
[Thought exercise: Have you ever thrown some cash in a counter-top tip jar? Did you make sure the staff saw you do so? Why? Let yourself truly think about it. There is no wrong answer, unless you come away from this thinking you have the right answer.]
Silas seems like someone we've all known and probably didn't like very much. He's obnoxious (though he probably looks adorable with those little white mitten paws), and I'm still trying to figure out if he's redeemable, or if I'm happy that he'll always be a cute little cat and we'll never have to hear from him again.
It's a tough call.
-Jeffrey Cranor
October 15 2021
Comments
David M. Carson
I had fallen behind in my listening, so had the pleasure of catching these two episodes back-to-back. In part 2, I was thinking along the same lines about the ability to truly apologize vs. just saying things for form's sake. I personally don't think that Silas will ever be able to make that jump. As to the whole topic of meaningful apologies, "The Allusionist" podcast has an entire episode from earlier this year all about it: https://listen.stitcher.com/yvap/?af_dp=stitcher://episode/81243191&af_web_dp=https://www.stitcher.com/episode/81243191&deep_link_value=stitcher://episode/81243191
Serpentine
Years ago, Triple J had a piece on forgiveness that really stuck in my head. They interviewed a man whose daughter had been killed by a drunk driver, a young man. After the driver got out of prison, the man hired him as an apprentice in his mechanics, I think it was. He gave him money, a career, pretty much took him into his family, it sounds like. Yet he insisted that he did not forgive him. I can't remember the wording of his logic, but I think it was something about making up for the life he took by making sure he had a good, productive, fulfilled life. But, he insisted, he did not forgive him. They had a guest psychologist on, and she commented that everything this man was describing definitely sounded like forgiveness to her. But for whatever reason he did not consider it so, and I guess that was that. I think there's also a factor where often forgiving someone is something you do for yourself, not for them. And forgiving someone does not come with any entitlements or obligations. If you mess up, they may forgive you, but that doesn't mean they have to still like or interact with you in the future. And you've gotta just deal with that too - you apologised, they forgave you, but you still did whatever it was and they don't have to spend time with any person who would do something like that.
Kathryn (Lady Lovegood)
I’m very glad that this seems to be more that just a two parter. These truly complex issues are so intense, and it’s written and portrayed incredibly. I can’t wait to hear what happens next.
Doni Payne
I've really loved these last two episodes. It's not the first time that we've gotten to hear from someone in nightvale that the other residents of Nightvale don't understand and it really adds to the horror element of the town. I also appreciate Jeffrey's note about whether or not Silas is redeemable. Clearly he is still self centered and narcisstic; however, I don't see anything in Sandrine that makes her any better. It's a great level of gray morality and complexity. One of the things I love about Nightvale.
James LEE
The image for this episode definitely gave me a different impression of how it was going to go. This is a great reflection - but the tool is unwieldy. Your listeners will never be able to see Khoshekh in the same way again. What is more, we are now co-conspirators in Hell for a soul. Does that soul deserve punishment? Is this a purgatory or a Hell? Either way, you have now made us all jailors along with whatever force it is that imprisoned Silas here. And, even worse, we will now wonder whether Night Vale is a Hell for more souls and what aspects we have come to love might actually be simply a vessel for the most exquisite and monstrous torture?
