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126. Sanctum XLX (First Draft)
🕑 Added 2022-01-20 06:17:03 +0000 UTCThoth smiled. Her mouth was still bloody. “Foolish. You know I’ll tear through that sad little host behind you, so you’re offering yourself as a noble sacrifice. I thought you’d realize that wouldn’t work by now.”
“There’s no nobility in it. And posture all you want, but I know you won’t kill them. They’re not humans, and you eventually want them on your side.”
“I think…” Thoth considered one of her daggers, “There might be a misunderstanding of how badly you’ve fucked things for me, Cairn. Certain events need to happen within specific windows, and my little resurgence of interest in you has cost me in that regard. If I mark this one off as a loss, it doesn’t matter what I do.”
“If you can afford to lose the time.” I tried to manage my reaction. Fear would entice her, goading her much the same.
“A better question.” Thoth extended the knife towards me, its blackened edge glinting in the low light. “How far back do you remember?” A dagger darted passed my face, stopping a millimeter from Jorra’s eye, where it floated menacingly. Jorra’s face hardened. He crossed his arms behind him and stuck out his chest. Another knife planted its point in my spine.
“Lie to me and I start with the boy,” Thoth’s face was void of emotion. “He’s useful, eventually, but I don’t like him that much.”
There was a wave of disapproval that went through the crowd behind us. They might not have been understand the conversation, but they could see the knife. With as well as Thoth seemed to know me, there was no question that lying would be folly.
I told her the truth. That I only remembered the previous life. Somewhat surprising me, she asked for details. Dates. The more information I gave, the less happy she appeared.
Sweat dripped down my arms and back in slow, repetitive rivulets.
“No. That’s wrong,” Thoth finally said.
Deep within, I began to panic. “I’m telling the truth—“
“Someone,” Thoth interrupted me, looking up at the sky as if trying to catch a glimpse of an errant cloud. “Is screwing with both of us.”
I blinked. “You mean, like, a god?”
“Yes… But they’re being really oblique about it and it’s pissing me off.” Thoth chewed her lip. “It shouldn’t matter. But these little inconsistencies add up, right?”
Unsure whether the question was rhetorical or otherwise, I shifted on my feet. Thoth’s serpent eye snapped to me immediately, the other following behind slowly.
Still on high alert. Not nearly as relaxed as she looks.
“I’m not following,” I admitted.
Thoth sighed. “Last iteration was a peach. No civil insurrections, no last-minute betrayals. Everyone followed orders. And when it was time to slaughter the humans and sing campfire songs, everyone went above and beyond.”
“Sounds almost the same to me.”
Thoth began to pace. Watching her strange, fluid movement was enough to make my head hurt. “No. What you described happened some time ago. No idea when, but it certainly wasn’t last time. Because last time, I cut your arms off. Told you I’d let you live if you made it down the stairs. That was…” Thoth cackled. “Fun. Puerile, but fun.”
I ignored the cruelty of the statement, focusing on the bones of it. If there was a gap between my memories of the last loop and the current one, what were the implications of that? I didn’t know.
“Okay, one down, two more to go. Lucked out this time, you little bastard. Next question.” Thoth pulled the knife back with a dramatic wave, letting it do a slow circle until it landed right in front of Bell. It pressed up against her neck. “At the leyline. Do you have some artifact? Some way of reading me?”
I closed my eyes. “You were never going to let us go.”
“No, I just needed time. But the question is, how did you know that?”
“That’s wrong,” I contradicted carefully. “Even though I suspected how short any truce was likely to be, I wanted to take it.”
Thoth waited, looked over to Ozra, then back to me. She broke out into laughter. “Ah. The demon screwed you over. How quaint.” Thoth turned and faced her Arch-Fiend, leaving her back open. I nearly darted forward, then, but held myself back.
Stick to the plan.
“They do require something of a firm hand. Asked and answered.” Once again, Thoth made a wide motion and the blade retreated, sailing through the air, whizzing behind me towards the demons. They parted, revealing a red infernal bound in chains.
Bacchus. My heart sank.
The older boy was quivering in the cold, bits of moisture accumulating on his spectacles. His teeth chattered. Terror shone through him as the knife pressed against his chin, pushing up slowly, forcing him to stand.
“Sorry Cairn.”
“What happened?” I asked, devastated.
“They found me on my way back.” Bacchus shivered.
“It’s not your fault,” I said, suddenly much less in control than I was less than a minute ago. “I’m sorry you were dragged into this.”
“I shouldn’t have come here. I should have never left the bookstore.” Bacchus broke down in sobs.
“It’s gonna be okay, Bacchus.”
But I knew it wouldn’t be. With me gone, Thoth needed anyone with demon-fire off the board. This entire thing had been planned out. The first two questions were easy, meant to establish a pattern. Whatever she had saved for last would be the hook.
“And now, the final question.” Thoth leered at me.
Let it be heard.
“How…
Sworn to all gods, high and low. To the whisperers in the deep places. To demons and angels alike.
“The hells…
One day I’ll kill you, Thoth.
“Are you constantly dodging death, time and time again?” Thoth asked.
It was the one question I could never answer. The one piece of tactical information she could never be given. It would end everything. I tried to move toward him, but the knife pressed even harder into his back.
“Look at me, Bacchus. It’s going to be okay,” I said, raising my voice over his sobbing.
Bacchus clutched his chest, grabbing at the fabric, then met my eye.
“I want to go home—“ began to choke as the knife pushed up slowly through his jaw, raising on his tiptoes.
A cry of anger went through the crowd.
“Time’s up.” Thoth made a nonchalant motion with her hand.
She stepped forward and spoke to the infernals, intentionally crossing the ring of fire that I created.
“And now you see the truth of Cairn, son of Gil. Your self-appointed savior. Unwilling to lift a finger to save one of your own. Children of the Sanctum, I gave you a chance to rectify the mistakes of your parents. Yet, most of you did not lift a finger to oust the pretender in your midst.” She paused, in faux concern. “Perhaps that is my fault. You did not know me from Infaris, after all. Why take my word, even if it was in your self-interest?”
Even in my grief, it was clear to me that she wasn’t getting through to them. Their faces were carved from stone. Many held weapons, gripping them tightly. Still, as she spoke, I cocked my head. Watching her from the side, her mannerisms, her cadence, seemed all too familiar.
It was far more advanced and suffused with a healthy dose of terror, but the fingerprint was unmistakable. Thoth was channeling me. Parroting, really. That left two possibilities. Either my teacher in Whitefall taught her, or…
I did.
Just how close was I, to a monster like her?
Thoth frowned. “I’ll make this simple. If one of you steps forward to end this, I will dispel the barrier.”
No one moved. It struck me, suddenly, that for as long as Thoth had been looping, she still didn’t really understand their spirit. Every Infernal child, from the weakest red, to the strongest violet, endured the trials of the Sanctum. They tamed demons, bending some of the most treacherous beings in creation to their wills. Morthus had once compared them to sand hawks, pushing hatchlings out of the nest before they could so much as see. They were capable of ruthless pragmatism, Ephira and Guemon were both clear evidence of that.
Maybe Thoth had known that, once. But she’d been doing this too long, had grown too powerful, and now every obstacle looked like a nail waiting to be battered into place.
The infernal spirit was one of rebellion. Refusal to submit, to take the easy way out. Endurance, for all the hardship that invoked. I thought of Maya, locked in a battle of wills with Barion for years. They were better than Thoth. All I’d done was help them see it.
Thoth’s lip curled. “Fine. I’ll do it myself.” She held her hands high. “We’ll even make it fair. If your savior here lasts longer than five minutes, I’ll leave to tend other matters and we’ll try this some other time.” Thoth smiled at me. “And if he falls before that… well… you all pay the price. Demon and infernal alike.”
I grimaced. It was just like Thoth to give me exactly what I wanted, with a complication that ruined it. Up against someone like her, five minutes might as well be an eternity. Rain pelted harder, limiting visibility for just a moment. As soon as the knife left my back, I drew the Infarai from my pocket, aiming the lens directly at her, hoping desperately for a partial drain.
When the sheet of rain cleared, I found her unmoving, smirking darkly. “Go ahead.”
The moment I lowered the lens, Thoth was gone. A dark shape slammed into me from the side. White-hot pain staggered me as the dagger entered my side, piercing my lung. Something grabbed my hair, slamming my face down into her waiting knee. A dull crack followed as the cartilage in my nose broke. Blood streamed down my face as I staggered back into the circle.
“Feel familiar?” Thoth hissed, somewhere beyond my vision. “It should.” My mind, lost in a fog of pain, somehow interpreted her meaning. It was the same place she’d stabbed me on the night of the coronation. I flailed out blindly with my sword, wide and low, hoping to catch her off guard.
My blade whistled through the air, unhindered. I wheezed, blood from my shattered nose running down my throat.
“They might not kill you. But they’ll never stand for someone as weak as you.” A blow caught me in the jaw, sending me spinning to the ground with a wet slap.
I pushed myself up with air magic, nearly toppling the other way. A dagger cut like white fire across my thigh. Blood sprayed, thick and dark. I had no way of knowing whether she’d hit the artery or not. It didn’t matter.
My mind reeled. I could barely see her. I’d expected this fight to be slower than our initial clash in the Sanctum, that she’d want to draw it out, make me look as incompetent as possible. Instead, she seemed intent on crushing me, barely even taking time to gloat.
I tried to push myself up, but a muscle in my back spasmed, toppling me back into the mud.
Ghosts came to me, one after another. My father’s disapproving scowl. Mother on her deathbed. Sera’s knife, plunged in my gut. Annette, burnt and broken in my arms.
I had come so far, yet accomplished so little. Who could possibly win against something so vast, so immutable? The darkness closed in on me as my life’s blood pumped out of my leg, every breath a raspy, failing struggle.
A voice cut through the darkness. “You have to get up! Get up Ni’lend!” My eye shot open. Maya was there, on the edge of the circle, shouting. “This was your decision, your plan. You don’t get to fail. Get. Up.”
Thrak!
Thrak!
Thrak!
The demonic word for rise, spoken over and over by a thousand voices reached my ears. They sang it, unending, angry and proud. Thoth stood at the edge of the circle, transfixed.
“Why are they chanting for you?” Thoth murmured, more to herself than it was to me.
I pushed myself to my feet. “Because... they know what it feels to be beaten down, over and over. And they know a tyrant when they see one.”
“If you knew what was coming, you would understand that what I am is necessary.” Again, more to herself than to me.
In the background, I saw Bacchus’s body, motionless on the grass. Having known him, counted him as a friend, I couldn’t imagine harming him. But before that, when all I knew was that he was a threat to me, I had. “Perhaps. But when…” I wheezed, “Was the last time you tried anything else?”
Thoth turned to me, her face stricken. “When I believed things could be better and that the gods cared. When I believed in you.”
“Long ago.”
“Yes.” The word was heavy, as if it carried more weight than I could possibly imagine.
“I let you down.”
“Over and over and over…” Thoth mouthed.
I wondered, then, about the so-called betrayal she wore like a shroud. It seemed so strange and out of character to even imagine myself stabbing an ally in the back. But what if it had been nothing so direct. What if my will simply broke, and I gave up? That I could imagine. I’d experienced it, after all, more than once.
“I’m sorry. Truly.”
“No. You made me what I am. And for that, I am grateful.” Thoth flexed her arms.
I couldn’t even imagine what she meant. “What happened?”
Thoth shook her head. “Not yet. And I haven’t forgotten.”
Suffer, as I have suffered.
“Two minutes left?” I guessed.
“One.” Thoth vanished from my sight.
Duck
I listened to the voice far before I realized it was Vogrin’s, dropping as a whirling fury of blades passed over me.
Sweep right, now.
Without even bothering to look, I swung to my right. Hit. Thoth danced away, quenching the spreading flame from her armor. She looked disturbed, off-balance.
I heard Jorra whoop in excitement, yelling out encouragement along with his sister.
The rain washed the rose oil off her armor
I expanded the circle inward, flames greedily consuming the grass. Thoth swiped a hand downward contemptuously, sending the fire back towards me. Unwilling to risk doing the same, I held the gauntlet out and consumed the flame, holding it out and releasing it in a burst of fire in the same motion.
Thoth stabbed out at me and barely missed a blow that should have landed, blade diverted. She glanced down at her dagger with a frown.
I saw Ozra lower his arm. He must have misdirected the blow. Foolish as it was, he’d given me an opening.
I summoned a burst of flash-powder before she could rally, partially blinding her, and Thoth retreated. For a moment, I thought I might be making headway. That somehow, the gods had heard me, and the fight was turning in my favor.
I breathed in a patch of the fire that was growing behind me, a mass of flame and mana that filled me. In one massive burst, I released it, hoping to wound her.
Then Thoth reached out, and the cone of fire froze in place. I didn’t even have time to think about how impossible that was. Then, a half dozen shards of ice reversed direction and skewered me. My body screamed as I collapsed into the grass, choking, gagging as blood burbled freely from my mouth.
Thoth hovered over me. “Just seconds shy. How tragic.” But there was none of the manic joy from the last time she killed me.
There was a primal scream, and tilted my head to see Maya, fighting to get to me as her mother pulled her away.
Jorra sat yards away, staring at me, his hand on his whip. He met my eyes, silently begging for permission. I shook my head, and watched as he clenched a fistful of mud, his head hung. Thoth waved her bandaged hands over a ceremonial knife: black and gold trimmings on the handle, and a bright steel blade. It glowed green as it had so many years ago, so many years from now, at the night of the coronation.
“I-“ I swallowed a mouthful of my blood. “I wish… I could remember. When we fought the darkness together. When we were friends.”
Thoth stiffened. Then she laughed darkly. “And here I am wishing more than anything else to forget it. To forget everything. Just like you. Lucky, lucky you. However you got out of it last time—however you managed to remember—it will never happen again. You’ll startle awake on that carriage, blissfully unaware that any of this ever happened. Not a care in the gods damned world.”
Thoth slid the dagger in, directly above the first one. Just like before, it was almost painless. Then she stood, wiped her hands on her leather armor, and turned back to the Infernals.
“The human failed you. I seldom give a second chance, but I’m in a sentimental mood.” The sing-song lilt of her voice was gone. “Kill him or face the consequences.”
For a long moment, no one moved.
Then, someone stood. The reaction from the crowd was instantaneous, a mix of scorn and vitriol. Bellarex, her face slack, eyes red, began a slow walk towards us.
“Bellarex, daughter of Erdos. If you continue to walk this path, you will be exiled.” Morthus boomed out, standing in the midst of the crowd.
Thoth made a gesture with two fingers towards Morthus, and the Decarabian arch-fiend shot a lance of white magic shot in a high arc, blisteringly fast. It struck Morthus in his core. The old man collapsed unceremoniously, his eyes wide open.
“Don’t tell anyone, but I snuck in some contraband.”
I cried out, the sound bubbling and muted.
Bell’s sword dragged on the ground behind her as she made the long, long walk. Jorra and Maya were screaming at her, their voices almost unintelligible in the rain. Bell’s face was a mask of pain and agony as she looked around as if she’d forgotten where she was, suddenly very, very lost.
“Well, would you look at that? Someone finally grew a mind of their own.” Thoth smiled.
Bell’s lip trembled. “C-c-cairn? I don’t wanna do this.”
“Really,” Thoth looked between us, completely focused. “Even after everything you told me, you still feel for him? He took your father from you. Your only blood.”
Bell shook her head vehemently, her entire body trembling.
With all the strength left in me, I summoned the air, using it to carry my words to her ears.
You’re the only one that can. I tried, Bell. This is the only way.
It took two tries before she summoned the strength. Bell raised her sword, and with a wounded cry, brought the blade down.
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Some trick to fake death?
