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Starship Engineer - 172 -

🕑 Added 2023-11-10 05:05:13 +0000 UTC

Comments

Zechariah West

I would be sad to see the story end.

Erick Thiemke

any feedback is welcome. i feel i am trying to race to get to the end of arc. Starship Engineer has been the 'fifth' wheel story as I struggled to correct plot elements in Incubus and keep up with Soldier. There are maybe 8 chapters left in the arc and then this story will most likely be paused. I plan to go back and continue the edit working from the beginning chapters. But I agree the story switched from following the MC as he worked in a contained and interesting environment and now it has turned into an overview 'management' story quickly glancing over events

Phil Meyering

Uuugh sorry to be a downer, but the story seems to becoming lackluster. I feel like you don't have enough positive variables to mix together and make a fun narrative. Honestly the last few chapters have been an exercise of just ?Why? I understand some of the motives, but the excessive use of time shifts has thrown me for more than a slight Loop. Honestly I would suggest some alternate point of views and some clarification on some characters viewpoints. The main character's wife has been suspiciously absent from alternate point of views. I understand if I'm reading your books that you're not really into Romance, but it's lack of exploration leaves many points of view in this story flat. I honestly think it's quite blatant across the story. I keep on stopping myself and wondering what would this story look like from the point of view of several of the main characters friends. Honestly I think it was just a lost opportunity and up to this point in the story what you have been doing kinda works, but now you're under increasing pressure from story elements. Your main character isn't going to be able to complete everything on his own. I guess what I'm saying is the last few chapters have felt like I've been pushed down a tube and what is going to come out at the other end is not going to be good enough. Heck some of our main enemies are so uncomplicated that they're basically Concepts(!malevolence/systemic genociders!), (?Yakuza/ every crime syndicate ever/Terrorists?). There's only so much you can get from one character's view of things. I'm not doing this to be hateful or anything. I like your story. However I want to continue liking your story. If this advice is not positive and it's just pointless please ignore it. Thanks for reading this long.


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