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A Soldier's Life - 257 - I Never Really Liked Sushi

🕑 Added 2024-09-04 16:29:11 +0000 UTC

Comments

Marnie

Only a few *chortling injured sahuagin were alive, and I silenced them. Doesn't chortle mean laughing? chor·tle /ˈCHôrd(ə)l/ • verb laugh in a breathy, gleeful way; chuckle. Definitions from Oxford Languages Maybe gurgling, gasping, wheezing?

Marnie

Maveith stood defiantly in the bow with a half dozen bodies around him, including the large one who had been tossing the flaming tridents. Wasn't the one throwing the tridents in the water? And what distinguishes this one as that one? Size only?

Erick Thiemke

edited to Maveith

Erick Thiemke

edited

Erick Thiemke

i think they have a range of scale colors and maybe the angle you look at them it could change

Erick Thiemke

chaos of battle. when he slammed into the railing, I am assuming he was in a bit of shock to find the spear poking our his chest

Erick Thiemke

edited

Erick Thiemke

void spell for internal disease and poison

Erick Thiemke

edited

Michael Neal

I love Maveith so much.

Erick Thiemke

are you being facetious?

Labola

I felt this chapter was a little too lighthearted for the level of the threat and doesn’t fit the vibe of the series.

Andrew Crews

The sail rippled and whipped loudly signaling the loss of speed *felt and I immediately felt the deck lurch beneath my feet. The sail rippled and whipped loudly, signaling a loss of speed, and I immediately felt the deck lurch beneath my feet.

Jon

Doesn’t he have an oblivion spell to get rid of the smell?

Jordan

“Desdemona had not freed herself, but a sahuagin was about to reach her.” Using ‘, but’ here doesn’t make sense. Maybe change to the following: “Desdemona had not freed herself and a sahuagin was about to reach her.”

Gravonhaft

Eryk: "Tis but a scratch."

Karnnie

the fight needs more detail. He never dropped his sword or lost it, so why would he not know where it is? He removed the spear from his gut but never dropped it, why would he summon a different spear to throw instead of the one still in his hands?

Karnnie

In chapter 256 you called them Blue-Olive colored. Here you call them drab green, not the same color.

momo2009

So he accepting killing which makes sense, but why is he acting all firty and doing thing beyond his normal self just for sex? Saving her is great but then winking in the middle of a battle and then pulling a spear through his whole chest plate. Seem over dramatic. But great fight scene and his team up with mavieth was good. Wonder if he will get the trident.

hrs

the fight with the four armed fish guys could be touched up. "belched a warning" should probably be "barked". and "argh!" doesnt seem like the best exclamation to use while maveith attacks as it makes it sound like he is actively being wounded.

Deliver roo

Once he has recovered from the wound the only problem in using the essence collector in a situation like the one he is in would be the people talking about it to others. I don’t think what is left of the crew aboard the ship or many others would be able to fight Eryk and Maveith for the collector and win.

Lemes

I think he should take the chance to gather as much essence as possible. He'd be smart to share some with the crew, that, along with the fact that they've fought together, would create a sense of camaraderie and help shut some of their mouths.

Erick Thiemke

The sail rippled and whipped loudly signaling the loss of speed felt and I immediately felt the deck lurch beneath my feet.

Nick Nicholson

Seems like a great opportunity to harvest some essences

Ivan Kanewske

The sail rippled and whipped loudly signaling the loss of speed felt immediately beneath my feet. Dozens of grappling hooks Maybe The sail rippled and whipped loudly signaling the loss of speed. Immediately felt as the ship lurched and slowed beneath my feet. Dozens of grappling hooks

Ivan Kanewske

Isaak’s voice cut my concentration, “Why haven’t they attacked?” Isaac is part of the crew, Feel like this would make more sense if Eryk or Maveith asked this question

Jordan

I get it and that makes sense for what was he was facing during the battle. My comment was more oriented towards his actions in the future now that he’s out of the Telhain empire and doesn’t have that figurative axe hanging over him constantly anymore. This would help address reader confusion on things like when he would use things like the collector

Erick Thiemke

yeah that sounds better. i will change it to that after I release these two chapters

Zurko

I thought he bought adventurer armor to replace his hound one.

Erick Thiemke

i think this was situation where he prefered not to die. saving people and rescuing Desdemona gave him the best odds. he will deal with the consequences after

Gwalmeich

Yes. I'm pretty sure nearly everyone would kill him for a chance at infinite power.

Kbzzy

Hope not! Imagine how many essences can be claimed here

Gwalmeich

Ether expenditure would probably be prohibitive. As long as a wound isn't likely to kill him in the very short term, it is better to simply get rid of it manually.

Jordan

If Eryk will start being more overt with his abilities and magical equipment/artifacts it would be good to have some introspection or dialogue about it. It would clarify for readers how his mindset over that has changed (assuming it has).

Erick Thiemke

if so I forgot. i can add theat he took a ill-fitted set from the Hound cache if I messed up

Jordan

Probably should have put this as a comment on the last chapter. Wasn’t Eryk’s hound armor shredded by the orc’s Roc and then discarded in book 4?

Andrew

Thank you!

Silver Beard

Curious why he didn't use his void spell to get rid or at least sever the spear that impaled through him? I thought he established it worked on arrows and any foreign matter in this body.

Zurko

you guys think he still has to hide his essence collector? it's probably one of the most valuable items you can get.

Sean Kauffman

Tftc, missing a grin at the end. "He had a massive grin on his face."

Silver Beard

Now the big one..use the collector or not? Hope word doesn't filter off the ship. Surely there's a bunch of water essence and others to be had.

Erick Thiemke

4th of four for the last cycle. Going to start working on 1st for the next cycle tonight. For the fight, I tried to balance his growing skills with his mortality.


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