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Soldier Book 3 blurb!
🕑 Added 2024-08-27 18:11:41 +0000 UTCSitting down to edit Soldier-252, write Soldier 253, and finish World Sphere-195.
So, book 3 is about ten weeks out from publication as an ebook. Here is the blurb I have currently on the Amazon site:
With his abilities under scrutiny from others in the company, the protagonist is put in a precarious position. Before he can decide on a course of action, his mage company heads out on an exploration assignment to find the location of a lost dungeon, The Shimmering Labyrinth. It will become the most diffuclt part of the protagonists journey so far as enemies close in.
As before I am asking for the readers to submit something...better. Remember no spoilers. Down below is the cover of book 3....front and back. If I tak a majority of what you write I will not you in the credits.
Comments
Karnnie
Eryk returns from the dead... AGAIN! As he rejoins the mage company, some of its members are becoming suspicious of our otherworlder and his miraculous powers of survival. Before he can take action, his company embarks to find the Shimmering Labyrinth, an ancient and forgotten dungeon. What lies in wait for our budding soldier? Follow along as Eryk travels to a forgotten city, to uncover lost knowledge in his bid to fit in and become more powerful under the scrutiny of the empire!
Jordan
I like the prior recommendations given as well as putting a more “active voice” spin on the blurb and less “passive voice”. Something like the following: “Eryk is put in a precarious position as his abilities are coming under scrutiny from members of the company. Staying hidden and overlooked by powers within the Telhian empire gets more and more difficult as he’s forced to confront opportunistic and vengeful nobles, monsters, and hardships. Eryk must decide on a course of action to both hide and grow his power as his mage company heads out on an exploration assignment to find a lost dungeon called The Shimmering Labyrinth.”
jordicl
agreed
jordicl
I would change "It will become the most difficult part of the protagonists journey" for "It will become the hardest part of his journey".
Shane clark
the protagonist should just be replaced with his name.
Tetsu-nii
I'd suggest some minor tweaks (incorporating the suggestion about replacing "the protagonist" since using the MC's name in books after the first of a series seems pretty standard to me): With his abilities under scrutiny from others in the company, *Eryk* is put in a precarious position. Before he can decide on a course of action, his mage company heads out on an exploration assignment to find the location of a lost dungeon, The Shimmering Labyrinth. It will become the most *difficult*[typo] part of *his* journey so far as enemies close in.
Liam Andrews
Agreed, though I don’t see why it can’t just by his name listed at this point given its well into the series
John Smith
The protagonist reads oddly to me. Would something like “our hero” be better?
Carolyn Nelson
I would add on the last line…”Who can he trust?”
