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World Sphere - 2 - Growing Up in Skyholme

🕑 Added 2024-11-24 20:36:11 +0000 UTC

Comments

Jamie Idle

The quality of writing and story telling between this story and Soldier is worlds apart. The amount of skill growth is impressive.

Erick Thiemke

there is a larger time skip coming. in the original work he was closer to 14 in "Earth years" due to longer years in the Sphere. The age 15 was settled on to accommodate some the nastier comments about the flirtations at the Academy

Erick Thiemke

yes, roughly the orbit of Earth - maybe between Venus and Earth's orbit

Erick Thiemke

its not a star but an aether well, it has a dark spot which gives a brief night cycle - dont know if it was edited out but was in there somewhere

John Donovan

My second question is if you do plan on creating a Dyson sphere with civilization on the inside how big is it? The Goldilocks zone for our sun is roughly from Venus to mars. That would mean a sphere of enormous magnitude. Even for a red dwarf star that would be a giant.

John Donovan

I have a couple of questions? How are there day night cycles on a Dyson sphere? I know we can say magic but the reality of a Dyson sphere is one side shall always face the star and the other would always face into space. I am not sure if you would need a huge rewrite to change it but a simple solution could be that the solar system our MC wakes in is a binary system that has a single Dyson sphere. Everyone would then experience a day/night cycles.

Brett Ulakovic

Could you have kept age at 12 and did a 2 year training time skip with Callum. Before the Academy section.?

Space Cadet

It makes perfect sense for a year to be a different length, but it is just unnecessary, so I think this is a good change.

Erick Thiemke

the 15 is a change. readers whined about the young adult interactions. he was essentially 15 before because of the longer years in the Sphere but I made them closer to an Earth year so readers did not have to think

Brett F

Archmagis should either be archmage or archmagus, as, if I recall correctly, a single avian high mage broke the isles. Magus is the archaic form of mage, so not sure which you would prefer to use here for consistency later. FYI, magi is the plural of magus. Also, 15th birthday? Is that a change for the rewrite, or am I not remembering correctly that it was twelve before? Are you keeping the maturing more quickly than Earth humans mechanic?

Erick Thiemke

this chapter was a bit of an info dump. it has already been cut in half. even knowing what i do now about writing, i havetrouble cutting more


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