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A Soldier's Life - 283 - The Chronologicaler (final edit 6-21-25)

🕑 Added 2024-10-24 20:26:30 +0000 UTC

Comments

Brianna Stormcloud

'I hoped this would be a quick and uneventful expedition'.... he really likes to jinx himself 📖🍿

Michael Neal

I dont think it's going to be a quick and uneventful expedition

Erick Thiemke

edited

Erick Thiemke

corrected

HappyNoms

"We would either have to use a precious healing potion on it..." They've been free of the draconian Tehlian constraints on acquiring healing potions for a while, through multiple cities, and Eryk has ready foreign market access to stockpile an arbitrary number of them. It should have been one of the first things he did, realistically. I think the constraint is fine, it could just perhaps use a mild retcon or tweak for why potion availability is limited worldwide. It was convenient earlier to have potions more available elsewhere to highlight Tehlian oppression/corruption and an authoritarian grip, but now that the party are elsewhere, it's become an inconvenient prior world building detail.

Andrew Crews

Once frozen in the gaze of a basilisk, you were as good as dead [❌ missing punctuation; needs a comma or dash for clarity] turning to stone in ten heartbeats [❌ awkward phrasing; “turning to stone” should be better integrated]. Edited Version: Once frozen in the gaze of a basilisk, you were as good as dead—turning to stone in ten heartbeats.

Andrew Crews

She asked, but her expression was skeptical [❌ “skeptical” describes a state of mind, not an expression—consider “skeptical” modifying “she was” or rewording] maybe because I dressed more like a warrior than a mage. Edited Version: She asked, but her expression was doubtful—maybe because I dressed more like a warrior than a mage.

Andrew Crews

I had to remember essences were rare, and collectors were rarer [❌ awkward phrasing; “rarer” sounds unnatural here—consider rewording] outside the Telhian Empire. Edited Version: I had to remember that essences were rare, and collectors were even rarer outside the Telhian Empire.

Andrew Crews

The most disconcerting point was there were [❌ awkward phrasing; consider “that there were”] only orcs in sight. We didn’t see humans or other races walking the streets. The orcs thought themselves superior to the other races, but they were allowed to trade freely in the Caliphate. [❌ Confusing—there’s no clear connection between their superiority and their ability to trade. Is something missing?] Was there something different about this city?” The most disconcerting point was that there were only orcs in sight. We didn’t see humans or other races walking the streets. The orcs thought themselves superior to other races, yet they were usually willing to trade with them in the Caliphate. So why was this city different?

Caledon Smith

I’ll ask this again when I catch up, but why is Eyrk not trying to learn the orc language? At worst he could have the copy of the elf help him, but it sounded like he could have made a copy of the friendly orc healer to assist and now he could get this orc with 18 languages to help him learn. With a resource like the amulet it just seems like something he would be doing even if it was just a little each time

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Erick Thiemke

correcting

Erick Thiemke

correcting

Leonard Loo

“I can speak Telhian,” she responded in AMUSEMENT.

Steven Savage

Right? I had to read that over a few times. Raven hair means black but she's introduced as having bright red hair.

Jordan

Haha. Love this comment

Lemes

First the cleric is described as a light green-skinned orc with brilliant red hair, then later it is described as "Her raven hair was messily braided". What is the real color of her hair?

incognito

Thank you

Silver Beard

That's what his space is for; certainly what he's been using it as- hidden repository.

Eriach

I agree

Eriach

She couldn't have dyed it red?

NightRider

I hope the battlefield was well looted of all titan artefacts, otherwise Eryk’s team will have to be silenced by the orc warlord, to keep the the discoveries quiet and available only to the orcs. If it isn’t, maybe the orc cleric will have a “fatal accident” by meeting a basilisk and her stone statue shattering into a thousand pieces. Eryk will have to be fairly cautious in his dealings and discoveries with the cleric.

Kbzzy

The warlord has been searching for a decade and never found anything. She also doesn’t know the real range of his earth speak so he can very easily lie to her and say there’s nothing there and just store things in his dimensional storage.

PatronTurtle

Why would Eryk jinx them like that? Never end a chapter on a challenge to the universe

Nicholas Ramage

Brilliant RED Hair = Raven Hair ?

Ivan Kanewske

A just mentioned they had succumbed to disease and the locals burned their bodies A just mentioned A to I

Jordan

She sat taller as she lectured us. “Ture, true. Ture -> True

Jordan

“I can speak Telhian,” she responded in the amused. “In the amused” doesn’t make sense.

Kbzzy

Same! Sneaky storage spell on a buried weapon for later

Nick Nicholson

Store what in his dimensional space? The relics? The whole point is to locate them for the orc cleric. Can’t complete the mission if he hides them. Also, the warlord would hide until the relics are discovered. Why would he hide the relics if he doesn’t know the warlord is planning something.

Kyle Cunnane

He can just store them in dimensional space no?

Nick Nicholson

Who else thinks the warlord will be ready to pull some shit if they find any relics?

daniel dantas

I smell an extremely strong odor of good loot, maybe mc will get some relic from the age of the titans, of course, the way our mc is, obviously at least 1 titan will be there alive hibernating and when he wakes up and causes chaos, he will change the local geopolitics with the discovery of a new ruin, mc being mc

M van Dongen

Uhoh.... Foreshadowing.......

Andrew

Thank you!

Erick Thiemke

4th of 4 for last cycle. Working on next chapter now


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