Patrefans
alwaysrollsaone from patreon
alwaysrollsaone patreon

A Soldier's Life - 288 - Speed Run (final edit 6-26-25)

🕑 Added 2024-11-02 04:36:00 +0000 UTC

Comments

Thaabit Rivertree

This whole thing just seems contrived. Why did they need to enter the dungeon once Glisha revealed she had to he with them? That is grounds enough to put a stop to it, not taking a stranger and leaving a teammate behind. They couldve just told her their plans changed and they were moving on the next day. Who cares if its a bit weird or rude, or she realizes it was an excuse? She is just some researcher, and she should know its rude to put herself in place of one of their team. You could even chalk it up to cultural differences. Just tell her their plans changed, thank her, and ride on. I mean at this rate, she'll learn about the collector. They shouldnt even be using the collector tbh. And then this business about using the orc supreme to free Zorana. Why in the world wouldnt they just steal her or kill the warlord and take her for themselves? Are we seriously trying to say Eryk thinks helping someone become supreme orc cleric will be easier than just taking her themselves? This makes no sense. He's just going along with whatever this orc contrives for no good reason. There was no reason for him to continue the charade to actually do the delve and it would be much simpler to simply take Maveiths sister himself. He could probably put her in his storage for cryin out loud to smuggle her out! (Sorry for the lack of formatting, on phone it is impossible tonuse paragraphs).

Erick Thiemke

think i fixed this

Sebastian Lachs

You know, I really like "orc Iran". I've never seen such a well organised orc nation.

Erick Thiemke

When I reach these chapters for the final edit, I read all the comments and typically adopt about 80% of the suggestions.

Mercutio Montano

Since I'm paying, I don't like working as a line editor, but... this one.. if you're inclined. ::::They were gliding toward us silently and not very fast.:::: vs {They glided toward us in silence at a tepid pace.} Perhaps 'tepid pace' is too scholastic, but at least the rest of the sentence removes an unnecessary gerund.

GucciG

I somewhat agree with some of the other comments I've seen. Eyrk has been far too loose and lenient with his crew. The training has been minimal and the discipline is all over the place. MC doesn't strive to become a better leader IMO and chooses to treat his team like a bunch of rowdy children. Who knows, maybe I assumed too much when it came to the direction of the narrative. I thought that the crew would stick around after Maveith's sister was rescued so that the MC could create an official adventuring team or mercenary corp. I would've loved to see Eyrk improve as a leader and become the commander of many men, walking around the world with his own army of tough-as-nails mercenaries.

Andrew Crews

Ogre* had a nasty scent glands and preferred to be covered in its own filth. This ogre had existed for a long time but had already created an eye-watering filth that hung in the air. Edited version: Ogres have nasty scent glands and prefer to be covered in their own filth. This ogre had existed for a long time but had already created an eye-watering stench that hung in the air.

Clint V

So your suggesting that from book 5 on it should be renamed to "An Ex-Soldier's life" so that the title is thematically correct with the progression of the characters life?

Conan Conaboy

The first four books have a great theme. I really enjoyed them.This draft so far does not fit the theme. The orcs who are war like and slavers get along with the elves on a shared border. The elves who are anti-slavery and artists, get along peacefully with orcs? The title of the book a soldiers life diverges quit suddenly into a fantasy adventure book. The 5th book is reading like a different series by a completely different author. The main character is the same but not the theme of series.

pharoph

The more I read the chaper the more angry I get. Yea just reward Mateo after ratting the mission out to a stranger. I'm sure the cold shoulder really taught him a a lesson he won't ever forget.

pharoph

Mateo needs to go. You can't travel with someone who can't keep secrets. I don't care if it's the main mission or not, it has to do with saving a comrades family member. I'm going to be upset if he continues to travel with this idiot.

Silver Beard

@daniel - Glasha might not care, but she won't hesitate to share it with the Cleric who's gunning for Supreme... what better weapon for her? Just don't. Eryk has other artifacts sitting in storage that he has never used because he has no clue what they are for. Seems an easy price for reveals

daniel dantas

Of course, we can be extremely pessimistic and think that she would make eryk and his group put their friend in power, go back on their word and try to kill them in order to take the spear and sell it to finance their excavations. This line is full of holes and frankly the spear doesn't seem to require all that much effort, it's certainly strong, but it's not a divine artifact that whoever possesses it will bring entire armies to their knees

daniel dantas

In any case, I don't think he will, he may not even know its value, but he is aware that this spear is definitely not normal even among artifacts Another point, even if it's rarer than a collector's item, I stand by my argument, glasha won't make plans to get the spear, she's a cleric and not a warrior, she needs eryk to help her friend, eryk proved to be extremely useful in the excavation and from what we've seen she's not the most loved among the orc lords

Silver Beard

King's weapons more rare than collectors and previous edit says how likely Eryk would keep it if known. Besides it kills fine; aren't there other artifacts that he has but not used or sold lacking detail of their value?

daniel dantas

Hmm, cool, Interesting lore, I liked it, so this spear is a big NO NO, to be shown, I mean maybe? Glasha loves history but she seems focused on the titans and their people and has shown clear friction with the elves, so I don't think she'll come up with a plan to get the spear, if it was an orc artifact sure, but elven?

daniel dantas

I don't agree with anything you've said, the only secret glasha knows is boris' blade and the mission to rescue mavith's sister, that's not 1/10 of mc's secrets and they're certainly irrelevant to the grand scheme. No one is getting dumber, mateo has always been unable to keep his mouth shut, it's a character trait and what about the stable boy? As for the griffin, literally no one knows anything about griffins apart from raelia, eryk is the closest and what he knows is how to kill them, she can say that griffins have a habit of shitting on people's heads and everyone will be forced to accept it

Erick Thiemke

it was lore about the black spear. it is a replica of the King of Caelora's weapon. he perished in the dungeon with it when he sheltered there from teh Legion with some of his people and the dungeon absorbed it and recreated it

Mazid Alkhaldi

Well, it’s done. It is not a dangerous secret unless Glasha plans to use it against us,” so that means it is freaking DANGEROUS. And what is up with glasga. She have been introduced couple of chapters ago and she knew like 90% of his secrets. Also, i feel what is happening for a while is everyone getting stupider so the MC looks smarter. (The stable boy, griffen disappearing, etc) Glasha will be part of the mc party for the whole arc. But still the way she was introduced is just aweful and tasteless. And the price was breaking the MC theme and image.

daniel dantas

King' weapon? When was this said?

Erick Thiemke

good point....I will edit something in about it being expended

Silver Beard

I would refrain from getting the spear delved. Mentioned in a spoiler...King's weapon. Might generate same interest as collector if known

Lazarius

“ I trickled aether to heal my eardrums” the protection amulet didn’t work ?

Andrew

Thank you!

PatronTurtle

I'm beginning to believe M's sister is gonna fulfill the bait and switch. Go through all this effort installing a new Supreme only for it to not actually help them

Chachi

eryk should lash mateo for running his mouth go full postal lol might aswell be benito lite

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Erick Thiemke

this one is correct

Ivan Kanewske

wandered the chamber a bot looking for any small creature the ogre might have fed on A bot to a bit

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Ivan Kanewske

This ogre had existed long but already had created an eye-watering filth. Had to hadn't

Ivan Kanewske

A walked to the fifth room alone. The dungeon creature was A to I

Ivan Kanewske

didn’t respond to Maveith to show he wasn’t entirely off my shit list just yet. I handed the large black plate to Glasha Maveith to Mateo

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Ivan Kanewske

We walked back to the restroom with the dish, hoping Glasha Restroom or safe room?

Erick Thiemke

corrected

Ivan Kanewske

will go with them with them while Glasha and Mateo rest here With them 2x remove 1

Ivan Kanewske

disturbed the coins and gave the healing potion to Mateo Disturbed to distributed

Ivan Kanewske

joined the others to find them sitting around a fit pit on stone Fire pit

Ivan Kanewske

“There is a rest room ahead, we don’t you all head there and rest. I will clean up here,” I We don't to why don't

Ivan Kanewske

Hmmm Maybe just I had, since next sentence starts with as

Ivan Kanewske

Dry, hot air greeted my lungs, and I had been a lot closer than the others As I instead of and I ??

Ivan Kanewske

Having her freed makes more sense than pushing one of Eryks magic too fast,

Ivan Kanewske

“No,” Glasha stated defiantly, with a quiet snarl on his face. The Her face not his

Erick Thiemke

1st of 4. Not sure if I used this chapter title before. Maybe not for this story. The last chapter was edited (no more collector reveal). Tomorrow will be a Town Builder chapter, with Sunday being the next Soldier chapter. Book 3 is still on pace to be on Amazon next week, but I will post a pdf copy here for Seraphim subscribers with water marks


More Creators