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A Soldier's Life - 290 - Mynasha (final edit 6-27-25)

🕑 Added 2024-11-06 02:51:19 +0000 UTC

Comments

Brianna Stormcloud

I think Mynasha has a big effort to make, to overcome Eryk’s impression of her, especially after abusing her horse! A lot can be gleaned from how those in power treat animals, and the people at the bottom of the ladder e.g. the elderly, children, etc. Thanks for the chapter

jordicl

He could negotiate to have the oportunity to become a warlord (along with anyone that wants to in his party) and get the cool tatoos if he helps her become the supreme.

Marnie

It is called The Demonic Lair and can have up to four can enter. Maybe It is called The Demonic Lair and can have up to four entrants. Or It is called The Demonic Lair and up to four can enter.

Brett Ulakovic

No. It is called The Demonic Lair and can have up to four can enter. A warlord is supposed to defeat the four lairs inside alone, but that has chained with time Chained to changed

HappyNoms

I think Eryk would actually be quite interested in running the dungeon, because he has a selfish streak and is a greedy loot goblin, but wouldn't per se outright say that aloud in contradiction to maveith's quest, but would in his thoughts and the discussion be quite willing to let himself be "persuaded" to delve the dungeon, alas, if he must. Having him dislike the warlord didn't quite ring true. The thing is, all the readers 100% know from meta awareness that the story is going to get him into the dungeon, so the whole discussion of it is a puppet show. If he's wrestling with his selfish greed vs better nature, there's more narrative tension. The things he tells himself to justify it and the manner in which he agrees make the discussion/dialogue matter as a necessary event that reveals character.

Andrew Crews

I looked over the group for feedback. Blaze spoke first, ❌[“It takes] in the direction we want to go ❌[in] the company of two clerics of the Caliphate.** Corrected version: I looked over the group for feedback. Blaze spoke first, “It moves us in the direction we want to go, and we’ll have the company of two clerics from the Caliphate.”

John Donovan

Possible edit: Glasha cackled a soft laugh at Mynasha’s surprise (Glasha cackled softly to Mynasha's surprise.)

Brain

I thought Eryk decided against getting Benito a pony?

daniel dantas

the only thing I can think of that would motivate eryk to get out of him way is something that glasha can offer that is irrefutable, be it in a friendly way by offering some incredible object or information, a partnership regarding excavation or business. It could be a coercive way, where she blackmails or “tricks” them so that they have no choice but to help, the cleric seems inept and if it were up to her, eryk would never lift a finger for her. The script itself, if mavith's sister is indeed alive the only way to free her would be to force eryk to help the cleriga because the warlord doesn't want to get rid of her, but that would leave a bitter taste in the mouth because working with someone you don't like isn't the best feeling in the world.

daniel dantas

I'm feeling that, you want to connect eryk and his group to orc politics in a reasonable way right? but when his goal is just to save mavith's sister and leave as soon as possible, it's hard to connect him since he has no obligation like when he was a soldier

daniel dantas

The issue was never escorting the cleric, the moment she said she was going in the same direction as mavith's sister, they would agree, the problem is convincing eryk to help the cleric during the selection, she made a bad first impression and it's getting worse and the way she has shown herself to be unreliable, even if she helps, she may go back on her word, as well as the comment above, glasha needs to accompany to make the bridge otherwise, there is no way eryk wants to get involved with orc politics without an extremely strong reason

daniel dantas

she must go, otherwise there's no way eryk will agree to help the clergywoman if every time she opens her mouth she becomes more unpleasant

Silver Beard

So Glasha isn't going with? You said 7 mounts left. Five for dungeon and two stayed out of it... shouldn't it be eight going to the choosing? I would think Glasha the grease that keeps the party together for a little while.

Ivan Kanewske

Gotcha They are riding hard But they could also be riding hard on the clerics Lol

Erick Thiemke

probably 20ish...she has been used as a tool since her power became known - similiar to Renna

Erick Thiemke

yes, the cleric needed a personality. i dont know yet either, partly why the writing of these recent chapters is taking a bit longer so they come off as plausible

Erick Thiemke

i think the idea is that they were going to be making big miles each day and it might look suspicous for a bunch of adventurers rushing to the capital. the orc clerics are cover

Erick Thiemke

yes, i can see that. he has been "winging it" since he entered the Caliphate. i was more focused on sorting the plot i this chapter. i had 2 rewrites before I posted trying to figure out the "selection" process and make it osund reasonable they would escort the cleric

Erikbongo

I feel like Eryk isn't really reacting as strongly as he usually does in this chapter? I mean, it starts with (I'm not convinced), then when negotiating the orcs don't actually say anything that convinces him, but his allies agree. He doesn't like Mynasha because she's arrogant, and she abuses her mount? But he doesn't react to it, he's being really passive this chapter? Is that purposeful or am I reading too much into it? (Basically I feel like I don't know where Eryk's head is at you know?)

Jon

Tyftc

M van Dongen

Dungeon Apples make for fine friends....

Eriach

That would make a fine filly or stallion

Ivan Kanewske

Maybe Manashas mount will breed Erics

Ivan Kanewske

We will look less suspicious riding hard with them among us.” Hard or Herd Either works I think

daniel dantas

I'm curious to know how they are going to convince Eryk and his group to help her, this conversation was terrible, they talked and talked and still didn't get anywhere, this cleric is so arrogant and it seems like she didn't understand the desperate position she is in this

PatronTurtle

How old is Mynasha? She seems very immature, but that might just be a culture thing

william wallace

Im interested to see what she offers in exchange for eric serving as her bodyguard. We know eric would do it for little more than his friends sister but the cleric cant be certain. Let the bribery begin!

Jordan

Well written chapter. Thank you! I echo the comments about the politics within the orc country being written well. I’m glad it was kept more at a high-level instead of in detail.

Mark Corwin

What allreds Aaron and Joel said!

BLead Irish ambassador

I understood the reason/politics. As much as I hate my US politics. I like it more than strong rule. I really don’t like new priestess. But I can see that being big plot point.

Salvo

The political framing was pretty excellent. Outline the factions, imply a successful warlord is not rewarded in the caliphate is massive in scope, interesting foreshadowing. I think it was a good call that character assessment wasn’t a factor for the cleric. You even implied the ‘why hire humans’ with the old warlord, but didn’t confirm it. So now I got to keep reading. Provided a vote too, so the team we know have varied motives. Well done.

Joel

It makes the stakes that much more important. ✅

Andrew

Thank you!

Matthew Sawhill

Thanks for the chapter!

Aaron Weingrad

I think the political world building you have shown in the background of this story is solid. Everything seems to make sense and people’s motivations are plausible. So thanks for not being so avoidant the story suffers from incoherence

TheAlreds90

I needed something to distract me from this madness so I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Erick Thiemke

3rd of 4 for cycle. Damn I hate hearing about politics as much as I hate writing about them. Well this was a bridge chapter to the next leg of the adventure trying to explain the "why". hopefully it works. I have 60+ submissions for a new narrator. I will post my top 3 tacks here for feedback Thursday. ANd yes I am two chapters behind at the moment - One soldier and one world sphere


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