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A Soldier's Life - XXX - Evie's POV (1 of 2) At the Suggestion of readers, this chapter will be moved to a later point in book 6 after the MC meets them as a flashback

🕑 Added 2025-03-04 03:50:54 +0000 UTC

Comments

Frankie

Not bad. Once again I feel it's kinda outta place with the POV but I'll just have to adapt. Let's see where the story goes.

caeven

am I missing something? was Evie already introduced before? who are these characters.

J. L. Mullins

They finally reached sporadic builds... → They finally reached sporadic buildings...

Mark Corwin

This is great. Keep it up. Ignore anyone who thinks differently. Thanks

Enk

Increases in story complexity, always good!

Stephen Gauthier

How about the reader learns that this all occurred in the past and Erik meets the young girl when they are older. Maybe even much older and they share with them what they’ve learned about other people who’ve come from Earth and other places. Maybe by then the young girl has turned into a powerful necromancer with a bit of a sinister streak that she’s had to develop to survive. Then that necromancy skill is used to help Eryk seek vengeance on Octavious. Eryk leading an undead army would be badass.

Christopher Bonsall

don't like it at all .... keep the story on the M/C. Only

Thomas Shaw

Go full George RR Martin.

Lexy Joy

I agree with everyone that too many characters were introduced at once. It was a little overwhelming. We did all vote on Evie's POV. However it should have just been Evie and one other new character introduced. I lost interest after the first half and stopped reading. So I can't comment on the last half of this POV. The way they arrived at Deisa was definitely a good introduction but it felt too abrupt. Someone suggested introducing Evie with a Seer telling Eryk and it slowly leads up to Evie's POV. Or maybe he has a dream about Evie. I feel like this POV takes away from Eryk being the MC. Now it seems like there's many MCs. This POV does not make you want to invest in these characters and learn more about them. The other POVs motivated you to invest in them but as someone said it's because Eryk has history with them. I can kind of see your vision about where you want the storyline to go but it's developing in the wrong way.

Invalid Entry

Time for necro battle badger mount

David H

I enjoy the occasional alternate POVs and I like this one.

Ivan Kanewske

They finally reached sporadic builds along the road and even a mill. Builds to buildings?

Mrtotoro

Very good chapter, cant wait for mc to meet them, idk where the fuk is Yuetsen tho. People in comments are professional yappers tho

Oldfaithful

Not sure what all the hates about, the Chapter was fine. Introduces Evie and her group of new arrivals to a less than welcoming first night. I enjoy the ruthless pragmatic Karina the most and here very direct and quick thinking definitely saved their group from a gruesome fate. Might be interesting to learn the fate of the others but probably just dead or captured at that point.

Eddie

I have no reason to care about these people other than that they're otherworlders. I'd rather we meet them for the first time with Eryk, and then have a POV later. I like the previous POV's because they are characters that have history with the MC.

Sunto

I agree, but I also think that this is the rough draft that the authors going to go back and edit. So changes like foreshadowing etc can be edited in, although you’re right that it would flow better if there was more buildup in world before this cut to the POV. But personally I’m willing to give the author a lot of leeway because he hasn’t steered us wrong so far, I didn’t imagine myself liking maveth so much initially but he really grew on me. And I can see the same thing happening, so long as all the characters behave realistically.

Chachi

honestly should be blotted out of existence cant do it does not grab my attention like the eryk chpts hopefully this is just a onetime thing

Laggmaster

Too many new names too quickly.

Andrew

Thank you!

Bookworm bibliophile

Honestly I don't deslike the charecter themselves maybe they could be some extra charecters that could add more to the story both the girls and guys that transported. But for them to become the motivation to explore dangouns and how to return to earth because mc have hero complex is not something I am thrilled about. I honestly like the natives of this world and I would have enjoyed if he expended his band of adventures/mercenaries, explored the world because he likes exploring, and you know the world you wrote is full of wonderful scary creatures. I also feel like if you killed the innocent norcumancer orc boy then why would should the girl be different?

Chachi

ngl im a bit on the same boat i kinda was hoping for the castile reunion

Justin Barnett

Good chapter, but I agree with some of the other comments that just jumping to her perspective is kind of jarring. You could use the seer at Stone Mountain island to lead up toward Evie’s POV. I think the major thing that is needed is a reason to feel invested in the character. Make her situation more urgent, use prophecy to indicate how much Eryk will eventually care about her, or make her character perspective intriguing so we want to follow along.

Samuel Lévesque

It's always 100x better in a story when you allude to how a character relates to the story before you introduce the new character. Something like the protagonist hearing about someone, or them talking about going to a specific place and cutting to the new character waiting at the destination. It allows the reader to understand why they should care and creates anticipation for the eventual meeting. When you cut to new characters like this out of the blue, my first thought is "why should I care, I was engrossed in the story and you just took me out of it for no apparent reason"

Kevin Clark

Sorry, not sorry but don’t care. Please check out the Spellmonger series. When he went to a female POV with a series of books after investing so much time with the main character, the response was lack luster at best. They didn’t do well at all and when he returned back to main character, the response was really good. Another example is the Demon Accord series. Two attempts were made to write from a female POV and the audience was not interested. To go from a compelling, competent character to a teenage girl is jarring. I’ll pass.

Silver Beard

I'd be more interested in what nation they arrived in. That will matter most right now.

Silver Beard

Lucky for Eryk- they know English...or should. That's likely to be the pivot moment when Eryk catches up with them.

The Old Guy

It's good, but a bunch of new characters are going to be hard to keep track of

Andrew Gonzalez

I am of the same mind, good chapter but I kinda wanted more Eryk

Silver Beard

One chapter isn't enough to interest me in anyone really. Sad to say but I work in an industry where the turnover rate is so high... I don't even bother to learn names for 6 mos! Nice chapter; it's not filler- but it's not Eryk... so it's kinda blah.

Erick Thiemke

2nd of 4


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