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A Soldier's Life - 357 -
🕑 Added 2025-03-12 03:06:49 +0000 UTCIt was not a fun chapter to write, and I will rewrite it after I read the comments. I did rush toward the end so need more detail there.
Chapter 357:
Mateo roused next to Clarissa, a widow he had met on returning from the Boutan Caliphate. She had been desperate after her husband had been lost at sea and was selling wild onions in the market with her three young children hanging on her. Mateo had purchased her entire stock for a silver, ten times what she had been asking for the bundle. He just dropped the wild onions off for Lirkin at Adrian’s Rest to use in the evening meal. He had earned way too much silver traveling with Eryk, and his only obligation was to train in the evening with the other company men under Blaze’s direction, so he considered the silver well spent.
He returned for the next three days to do the same even though the bundle was smaller each day, to Clarissa’s immense relief, and she no longer complained about being overpaid for her harvest, accepting the silver gratefully to feed her children.
When Mateo learned she took her three children to the woods at sunrise to dig up the onions, he didn’t know what to do, so on impulse to help the young mother, he offered to watch them. At first, Clarissa was suspicious of Mateo, as Anna, Mabel, and Oliver were her whole world. They were ages nine, eight, and six, respectively, but taking them miles outside the city was dangerous. She could also harvest more if she didn’t have to keep track of them.
Clarissa was only a year older than Mateo’s 25 years, and he found her devotion to her children attractive. The first time he watched them, he spoiled them, buying them new used clothes and multiple meals. Clarissa was at a loss for words, and there was only one thing she could think to do to repay his generosity. He refused her, and she broke down in tears, thinking it was because she was ugly.
Mateo did think her nose was too small, her sandy hair too wild, and her jawline too sharp, but he refused out of guilt. He wanted to help, not purchase her services. After he explained his reasoning in way too many words, she calmed down. Mateo took up babysitting duties from then on, usually bringing the trio to Adrian’s Rest, where he had a room. The other men of the company adopted the children with Mateo, teaching them and entertaining them during the day.
Mateo stretched in bed, Clarissa’s naked body nestled closer to him. After a month of watching the children, and with encouragement from Castile and Sylph, Mateo had finally slept with her. From there, the floodgates opened for him, and he fell hard for the woman. He still watched the children during the day but got Clarissa a job working for Lirkin at Adrian’s Rest. She knew the city well, so she procured everything he needed for his kitchen. She was good at it, getting excellent deals.
“I love you muscles,” Clarissa whispered into his ear as she traced his pectoral muscle. Mateo stroked her hair in response.
“We can just stay in bed all day,” he said suggestively.
“You could! I have to go to three butchers and somehow find a hundred apples that are out of season!” She said, in theatrical rage. She loved a challenge, so she was not really complaining.
“If Eryk were here, he would just make them appear and hand them over to you like that,” Mateo snapped his fingers.
Clarissa rolled her eyes. “If Benito is to be believed, your Eryk could leap into a dragon’s mouth, get shit out its rear end, and still smell like a summer breeze.”
“He probably could,” Mateo said, grinning, and Clarissa playfully slapped him. She had heard enough fantastical stories about Eryk that she thought he was probably not even a real person—or maybe a collection of a dozen people.
“I’m hungry, Mayo.” said the overly thin Mabel in the doorway. Her younger brother, standing behind her, nodded in agreement. Mabel had trouble with the letter “t” since she was missing her front teeth, so she called him Mayo. Mateo sat up to see Anna cleaning up the common room in the small apartment beyond them.
“Okay—you all get some shoes on, and I will take you to Grannies.” The faces of the young children lit up, and they all scrambled to get out of their nightclothes and dressed. Grannies was a small tavern with excellent breakfast portions for a few coppers. Mateo was not thrifty, but he liked the old woman who ran the tavern by herself.
Mateo reluctantly dressed as well, giving Clarissa one final kiss. He had shared his mouthwash potion with her—the intimacy benefits far outweighed the costs. Another thing he was happy to have learned from Eryk. Soon, he was walking down the street with three energetic children, waving to familiar people. Grannies was on the edge of the slums, but he wasn’t too concerned. Benito, Lirkin, Blaze, Helen, Sylph, and himself had roughed up one of the local gangs after they found them abusing some orphans for child labor. It also helped that they had two mages at their backs, Castile and Selena.
He settled into a chair in the tavern, dropping four copper coins for breakfast. Granny smiled, most of her teeth missing as she swept the coins up and placed four large bowls of porridge topped with dried fruit and a hefty sausage link they would have to split. A pitcher of watered-down ale followed for another copper. Anna ate daintily while Mabel shoveled the food into her mouth rapidly. Oliver, the six-year-old boy, struggled to maneuver the overfilled spoon into his mouth. Mateo smiled as he slowly enjoyed his bowl. They reminded him of his own siblings, but he was now somehow the adult in this company.
“Are we going to play with Marius and Clara today?” Anna asked as she ate with a straight back and square shoulders. Marius and Clara were Viridia’s children who sometimes hung around Adrian’s Rest, but they lived and were schooled in the upper city. Anna was trying to imitate Clara with her manners as she aspired to join the wealthy class one day.
“I don’t think so. Marius has sword lessons today, and Clara is probably with her mother helping care for the baby,” Mateo replied patiently. Anna’s big blue eyes held disappointment, but there was nothing he could do. He focused on savoring the simple gruel with a hint of sweetness from the fruit. He smirked a little, knowing whose baby it was. He couldn’t wait for him to return and discover that he had sired a child—one just as obstinate and obnoxious as the man himself.
“Mayo, can we get honey cakes?” Mabel asked, her bowl somehow empty. How that wisp of a child could eat so much yet remain so thin was a mystery.
“We can get them tonight and share them with your mother,” he said, giving in to the child’s messy, innocent face. Mabel beamed happily at her victory.
Suddenly, Mateo’s danger sense triggered. He froze and scanned the room. Three men in cloaks with their hoods up had entered the dark tavern. Granny could not afford glowstone, and only frosted glass allowed light in. One of the hooded men turned toward his table. Even in the shadows, Mateo recognized the face. What was Firth doing here? Firth leaned in, and his companions split from him, one heading for the back exit and one standing at the door.
Mateo’s blood chilled. He had his long knife and legion hatchet on his belt. His sword was too valuable to carry in the city. Firth moved to the table and sat between Mabel and Anna. Both children looked outraged at the stranger’s presence and looked to Mateo to deal with him.
“Mateo, been a long time,” Firth said, taking Anna’s bowl and helping himself.
“What are you doing here, and who are those men?” Mateo said calmly. His danger sense told him he couldn’t do anything with the children so close. “Kids—go to the inn and wait for me there.”
“Why do we have to go to Adrian’s Rest?” Oliver whined. Firth smiled, and Mateo winced.
“Adrian’s Rest? What a fantastic name. No, I don’t think so,” Firth said, putting an arm around each of the girls. Their small frames had no chance of resisting.
“What do you want, Firth,” Mateo ground his teeth in frustration.
Firth exhaled tiredly. “Here, I travel across the entire continent to be with friends, and you treat me so poorly.” Mateo’s eyes hardened. Firth gave up trying to honey his words—he was not good at it. “Fine. I need to bring back Castile to Emperor Octavian. I would much prefer she was alive than dead.”
Mateo laughed and shook his head, “What are you a Hound now? Not a chance I am helping you.”
“Actually, I am.” Firth grinned. “I am in charge of my own little Pack of hunters,” Firth smiled impishly. “Come now. Why don’t you go tell Castile we are here for her. She comes voluntarily, and she will be brought before the Emperor alive. In the meantime, I can watch your—” He looked at the three children, “Family?” Mateo tried to remain impassive, but that is what they were to him now after nearly half a year of watching them.
“You hurt Castile, and Eryk will cut off your head with his magic!” Anna said, and tried to struggle out of his grasp.
A mask of confusion spread across Firth’s face. “Eryk is dead—” he seemed to question the air. Anna, not knowing any better, replied, “No, Uncle Benito says he went to the other side of the world to save the goliaths!” Her struggling grew more intense, and Firth clamped down on her shoulder, causing her to squeak in pain. Granny came storming out of the kitchen only to be punched in the stomach by the Hound at the door. She collapsed to the floor and curled into a ball, holding her ribs, whimpering in pain. Mateo felt adrenaline surging with his anger, but had enough self-control not to risk the children.
“Anna, calm down. Mabel, Oliver, stay here with this man, but if he tries to take you anywhere, scream at the top of your lungs.” Firth tsked at Mateo but didn’t say anything. Mateo slowly stood up and sheathed his knife. He had been ready to lunge across the table to protect the children.
As Mateo edged to the door, he heard Firth asking, “Tell me all about this hero, Eryk.”
When he stepped into the street, Mateo scanned it and noticed another figure in a dark cloak. This one with the hood down. Wylie was here, too. He had been Firth’s lackey in the company. He thought about approaching him to try and reason with him but instead turned and started to walk quickly to Adrian’s Rest.
He knew he was being followed, but there was no point in trying to lose them. They knew where he was going now. He burst in the inn. Benito was playing cards with some locals, stacks of copper coins at the table. “Hounds are in the city!” He barked at Benito. “Where is Castile?”
Benito was on his feet, his chair flying back. “She is having lunch with Elaro in his villa.”
“Harpies tits! Its Firth and Wylie and other Hounds!” Mateo yelled.
“Why is Firth and Wylie working with the Hounds?” Benito asked, confused.
“They are Hounds!” Mateo yelled back furiously, going behind the counter and grabbing a buckler and blade stashed there. His blade was secreted under his bed upstairs. Lirkin came out of the kitchen, his apron covered in blood from cutting meat. Clarissa came behind him, as she must have just delivered part of today’s provisions.
“What is going on?” Clarissa asked worriedly. “Where are the children?”
Mateo ignored her for a moment, “Where is Blaze?” He knew Helena and Sylph were with Selena on some secret mission.
Lirkin moved to grab his own weapons behind the counter, “He was dropping off our armor to get adjusted.” That fact was most of them had put on some weight and they had to constantly bring their armor to Ignis for “adjustments.”
Wylie stepped through the door, and the locals began to leave. He let them pass without interference. It was unlikely the city guards would intervene until a fight actually broke out. Lirkin, Mateo, and Benito faced Wylie, who was once a faithful companion. Wylie looked different now, his eyes harder and less jovial than Mateo remembered. “The Emperor wants Castile to answer for her crimes. Firth thinks she will be spared and just imprisoned as an example if we bring her back alive.”
“Hounds don’t bring back people alive, Wylie,” Lirkin spat. “Why didn’t you come with us?”
Two other men in cloaks entered the inn’s common room and moved to either side of Wylie. “Be reasonable,” Wylie pleaded. “No one has to die.” The Hound on his left grunted, which made Wylie angry. The standoff didn’t last long as Firth arrived with the other two Hounds that had been with him at Grannies. Only Mabel was with them, her eyes terrified.
“Where is Castile?” Firth said, annoyed at seeing his old companions. “Be careful, the child said Blaze is somewhere in the city as well.”
“Where are my children?” Clarissa bellowed in fear. She raced forward before anyone could stop her from reaching Mabel. The Hound on Firth’s right blade appeared from under his cloak and hissed through the air, cutting through her throat. Her hands went to her throat as she fell to her knees.
Firth tried to say, “No,” but it was too late. All hell broke loose at that moment as Mateo roared in rage and charged. Benito turned on the nearest Hound, parrying an attack and tackling him to the ground. They rolled together in a tangle of the Hound’s cloak.
Mateo needed to get to Clarissa and get a healing potion into her before she bled out. He was stopped as two Hounds converged on him. Wylie was paralyzed, unable to move. Mateo let the Hound on the right hack into his arm while he parried the other blade. Ignoring the pain, he came back with his blade and skewered the man who had struck down Clarissa through the throat. He then used the body to shield himself from another attack.
Lirkin had moved to engage Firth, who was furious that his men had acted without his permission. Grunts, screams, and clashing blades echoed in the room. Mabel knelt in the blood of her mother and shook her as combat was waged around her.
Benito was on his feet, a deep cut on his forearm, but his opponent was dead. The other Hound quickly beset him. Mateo desperately tried to reach Clarissa but couldn’t disengage from the other Hound. Firth yelled at the stunned Wylie, “Fight, damn you!” Wylie came out of his shock and moved to help Firth against Lirkin. The company cook had put on some pudge in the last year but was still strong and fit.
When Wylie engaged, Firth used his spell form and accelerated his movements, creating an opening. Firth’s runic blade cut through the bloody leather apron and into his ribs. Benito yelled, but it was too late. Mateo bowled into his opponent, taking a glancing blow off his good arm. The stumbling Hound forced Firth and Wylie back from Lirkin’s collapsing body.
Benito got lucky when his opponent slipped on some blood and created an opening, which Benito seized, hacking into his neck. Firth was angry and flushed. “No. It didn’t have to be this way!” Three of his Hounds were dead, and Lirkin was practically dead. “Pull back!” He spat in anger and disgust. Wylie didn’t hesitate, but Quintis, the other Hound, looked confused. Mateo would bleed out soon, and the odds would be three to one. But with Firth and Wylie backing up, he had no choice but to follow. They hadn’t even found the mage.
Benito let them go and raced behind the bar. There was a single dungeon healing potion there. He ripped off the wood panel and grabbed it, but when he turned around, he was indecisive about who to give it to.
Mateo was trying to staunch the bleeding on his wounds, “Give it to Clarissa!”
Benito looked at Lirkin, who was on his back and breathing shallowly. “Do as he says!” He sputtered with blood flecking his lips. Benito knelt, cracked the potion seal, and poured a little over the thin line on Clarissa’s throat before pouring the rest in her throat. Relief washed over him as the neck wound disappeared, and then the woman coughed up congealed blood, splattering Benito’s face.
“Get a healer!” Lirkin shouted from the floor, still hoping to survive but feeling relieved as Mabel collapsed onto her mother, crying. Clarissa’s chest began to shallowly rise and fall again. Benito raced out of the inn, but ultimately, the healer did not return in time to save Lirkin from his injuries.
Blaze, Benito, Mateo, and Castile searched the city for Firth and his Hounds but only found evidence that they had fled through the western gates.
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Comments
D.P
Couldn't Lurkin just be really badly injured? It took two dungeon potions to bring Realia back to life after being a chew toy and it wouldn't be done for free. And yes, I do know that they do have money to do it, but... It's an option. He can't die, given the amount of death that is in the in the upcoming chapters and while they are necessary, I don't see how his is. It feels empty. I also thought Hounds didn't stop until they had hunted down and killed their prey either so them all running off?
Erick Thiemke
yeah....hmmm it was established in book 1 that healing potions could be divided up
Adam V
Damn, I was hoping he'd save Lurkin instead of the new girl since he knew Lurkin for years through thick and thin. Maybe try to split the potion or something. Poor Lurkin
Mark Corwin
Had to come back and read this again. It's really good. The battle is awesome.
Erick Thiemke
it is. I was hung up on word count/ chapters through the first 4 books. Book 5 was the first book I didnt target 60 chapters with 150k ish words. I didnt want to add too much background noise as the story is already very episodic
Mercutio Montano
Is it possible to flesh-out Clarissa's first meeting with Mateo as an addendum to an earlier chapter? Then perhaps, another small addendum of a slowly building relationship in another chapter, and finally this last scene where Lirkin (their darn cook) ends up dying on the floor? A minor story within the larger one with a beginning, escalation, climax, and conclusion.
Erick Thiemke
yes it will get a rewrite. Everyone keeps calling to add more background, but adding 2 to 3 chapters just to set up a set scene is a lot of filler
Maxamud Ciise
too many convenient things are forced in this chapter to create tension, previously we are told how shitty the hounds are and now the author wants to convince us they tracked and defeated the group that had been training together for so long and had plenty of money yet they only had one healing potion. and the kids are only introduced to yap about Eryk to Firth. This was all far too rushed we don't even know who Clarissa is. Castille was creating a spy network and some shitty hounds infiltrated the city before she knew lol.
Karnnie
This chapter seems rushed and out of left field. We as an audience never know that Firth is tracking them or Castile and suddenly he is there. We dont know the woman with the kids selling onions, she is a background character, an extra meant to die. We have no feelings toward her at all, I do not see anyone saving a random woman over Lirkin, a friend and confidant for years.
Anthony Glenn
If you want the emotional impact to hit hard we need more of Clarissa and her kids. At least a chapter to get to know them and like thwm with Mateo. Really see his joy. See the hard company soften and take the kids under their wings. Interactions of Clarissa and Lirken, maybe demonstrate a friendship there. Then the following chapter Firth
Erick Thiemke
oh, i like this format the best for corrections - easy to look up and change
Andrew Crews
1st Paragraph: • [“He just dropped the wild onions off for Lirkin at Adrian’s Rest to use in the evening meal.” → “He had just dropped the wild onions off for Lirkin at Adrian’s Rest for the evening meal.”] (Past perfect keeps the timeline consistent.) 2nd Paragraph: • [“She no longer complained about being overpaid for her harvest, accepting the silver gratefully to feed her children.” → “She no longer complained about being overpaid and gratefully accepted the silver to feed her children.”] (More concise.) 3rd Paragraph: • [“She could also harvest more if she didn’t have to keep track of them.” → “She could harvest more without having to keep track of them.”] (Smoother.) 5th Paragraph: • [“He refused her, and she broke down in tears, thinking it was because she was ugly.” → “When he refused, she broke down in tears, believing it was because he found her unattractive.”] (More natural phrasing.) • [“Mateo did think her nose was too small, her sandy hair too wild, and her jawline too sharp, but he refused out of guilt.” → “While Mateo did find her nose too small, her sandy hair too wild, and her jawline too sharp, his refusal stemmed from guilt.”] (More fluid.) 7th Paragraph: • [“Clarissa whispered into his ear as she traced his pectoral muscle.” → “Clarissa whispered in his ear, tracing his chest.”] (More natural phrasing.) • [“‘You could! I have to go to three butchers and somehow find a hundred apples that are out of season!’ She said, in theatrical rage.” → “‘You could! I, on the other hand, have to visit three butchers and somehow find a hundred apples that are out of season!’ she said with theatrical exasperation.”] (More engaging and natural.) 8th Paragraph: • [“Mabel had trouble with the letter ‘t’ since she was missing her front teeth, so she called him Mayo.” → “Mabel, missing her front teeth, struggled with the letter ‘t,’ so she called him Mayo.”] (More concise.) 10th Paragraph: • [“Anna’s big blue eyes held disappointment, but there was nothing he could do.” → “Anna’s big blue eyes filled with disappointment, but there was nothing he could do.”] (Smoother imagery.) 12th Paragraph: • [“Mateo was not thrifty, but he liked the old woman who ran the tavern by herself.” → “Mateo wasn’t frugal, but he liked the old woman who ran the tavern alone.”] (More natural.) 13th Paragraph: • [“Suddenly, Mateo’s danger sense triggered.” → “Suddenly, Mateo’s instincts flared with warning.”] (More immersive.) • [“Even in the shadows, Mateo recognized the face.” → “Even in the dim light, Mateo recognized the face.”] (Smoother.) 15th Paragraph: • [“Even in the shadows, Mateo recognized the face.” → “Even in the dim light, Mateo recognized the face.”] (More natural.) • [“Mateo’s blood chilled.” → “A chill ran through Mateo’s veins.”] (More immersive.) 20th Paragraph: • [“Mateo ignored her for a moment, ‘Where is Blaze?’” → “Mateo ignored her momentarily. ‘Where is Blaze?’”] (Corrected punctuation.) 23rd Paragraph: • [“Clarissa came behind him, as she must have just delivered part of today’s provisions.” → “Clarissa followed close behind, likely having just delivered part of today’s provisions.”] (Smoother.) 28th Paragraph: • [“Clarissa’s chest began to shallowly rise and fall again.” → “Clarissa’s chest rose and fell in shallow breaths.”] (More natural phrasing.)
Damien P
I was thinking, just before anyone did anything or before the knife landed that a certain person would show up and call out stop! And I don't mean Eryk. Lirkin may not die then.
Tim Qunell
A nasty wound on that traitor Wylie would be nice.
Apophixas
The hounds are a lot crappier after the Count took over, cause he's cheap, and none of his people want to take the time to train them properly either, otherwise everyone would have died here against proper Hounds.
Erick Thiemke
different universes - not connected
Medhanie Kidane
I have a few question, is the soldier life and the other books connected or are they their own books? I would love to know before I invest more time? Thank you
Salvo
After giving some thought, I think the beginning is good character development. The hounds should have maybe started with Firth only, and one of the children is a hostage, the numbers advantage should not be revealed. Maybe then have Mateo panic run to Adrian’s rest to bring Castile out of hiding. He’s tailed and Benito captures the hound and it’s the other hound(Wylie) who promises to tell them where they hid the kid. You can probably leave the Larkin sacrifice dilemma with the kid and him, AND the whole point was to get a fight that gets a blood sample from all of Castille’s legion. Firth should be open he resents them for leaving him to the empire while they got soft.
Chris
I just recalled but in Book 3 it was Lirkin, Benito, Pavel, and Lucien in a group hiding out in the dungeon. They got complacent and didn’t set a sentry rotation while they were sleeping. The troll and summoner surprised them. Lucien and Pavel sacrificed themselves so that Lirkin and Benito could get away. Maybe Lirkin was still feeling guilt from that, and he realized they got complacent again; he chose for the woman to get the potion so her children didn’t lose their mother. Also, he maybe wanted to spare Mateo the guilt/mental burden of having his love/girlfriend dying, and then being responsible for those three kids she would have left behind.
Chris
You’re right, that’s my bad. I misremembered and thought Firth was given a blood sample and compass for Castille, but it was to track the other mage. They had to divine Castille’s location and determined it was somewhere in Gramney.
Paul Rauner
Maybe add a short interaction involving Lirkin early in the chapter. Something that reveals a bit of the new life he is building before it gets taken away. Maybe a conversation with Mateo as he takes the kids to breakfast or something mundane with Clarissa related to their work together.
Lemes
Another thing I remembered, all hounds carry a few healing potion. Didn't anyone think to search the bodies of the dead hounds?
NovaZero
Yeah definitely a lot thrown out there. Benito's lolly gagging kills the sense of urgency there - I'd have thought that by now he might still run his mouth but hearing Mateo he'd be acting on reflex and getting ready all the while asking the obvious (to cut down on that interaction).
Chachi
true but i want this event to maybe wake something inside eryk
Tj
Ok maybe break it into two chapters Set the stage and show how things are looking good for the team, but subtly hint at their growing complacency. They’ve been winning the game of life, and it's evident in how they’re cutting corners with their security. This chapter can end with a cliffhanger: The team is oblivious to the fact that they've been watched. Maybe Firth notices something—perhaps a sign of their complacency. This chapter will shift the focus to Firth. Make him cautious, methodical, and fully aware of the stakes. make him take a more calculated hound approach, setting things in motion with precision and more backup maybe hire mercenaries or a local gang. Where the protagonists were complacent, Firth is careful. The pacing here should feel slower less forced if you want to play it that way. And you get a cliff hanger
Rezking
Some of the guys should at least have a lesser healing potion. Basic survival, and all of them had plenty of silver to buy a few.
Kasim Charles-Walcott
The kids giving away so much info seems forced kids are pretty perceptive and would clam up in that situation I think
Enk
I guess Castille had no reason to think Octavian could find them - just bad luck i guess. I don't know what they'll do without Lirkin though - the army marches on it's stomach!
Lemes
Well, I see several things in this chapter that seem a bit forced or inconsistent to me. First is this hound team, they just got out of a super difficult mission in Bartiradia to kill a deserter wizard protected by the enemy kingdom, without any loss of personnel. Then we have these kids acting like zombie MPCs and giving away a bunch of information without further ado. Finally, we have Firth acting like a retard, entering the tavern without knowing if Castela was there, without prior reconnaissance, without doing anything that a hound or even a legionnaire as experienced as Firth should have done. The fight also seemed forced to me, and although I don't mind characters being killed for the good development of the plot, I still don't see how the death of the cook will contribute to this end.
saber
Death is good. This sets up firth as ruthless and much more willing to kill. I do suggest to detail the combat a little more and make it easier to follow the flow I found myself confused at certian points unsure of how the fight started and what was going on. Can't wait for eryk to make the hunter the hunted!
Silver Beard
The big problem to me to knowledge that Eryk is alive, and their base of operations is compromised. Surely Firth will report in with the intel or will have by now. I'm curious about the other children and the old lady. Firth might have considered sparing his former team (but clearly the other hounds had no problems) can't imagine they didn't waste everyone for the principle of it.
Bookworm bibliophile
Who would manage the restaurant If Larkin dies? Also will Konstantin name his sons Konstantin 1 , 2
Bookworm bibliophile
Life is Life snd to the readers Lirkin Life was more valuable.
Bookworm bibliophile
The no blood campess everything burned
Sunto
I agree, seems pretty unmotivated from the readers perspective to save the moron who impaled herself on a sword. Also I would enjoy a slow death for the hounds.
Mubarak Sulaiman
When Konstantin gets back will he be told immediately that he has a child or will it be saved/delayed for later like Eryk. I mean, the child would be a good reason for Konstantin to retire or rest atleast.
Sunto
Hope they get skinned alive
Sunto
Anyone else int hoping he goes full torture mode on the two of them?
Stahl
I like the chapter. “You can’t save them all”.
BubblyGhost
Our boys aren't invincible man, they're stronger than conventional soldiers but still are mortal men. I would also argue they did kick Firth's group's ass, but all it takes is one mistake or lucky strike and they're dead just like any other. Ignoring the obvious references that the group has slowly been letting themselves go as they become civilians. Mateo rushed in with anger after he saw his partner go down, and proceeded to slip up in trying to reach her before she died. Wylie and Firth are also both well trained and Firth does have both a spell form and runic blade; Firth being the one to kill Lirkin. Started off as a what, 6-7 v 3? And I think you aren't giving enough credit to Firth's band, sure these hounds aren't as well trained as the norm, but they're still exsoldiers and killers.
Sparkley Unicorn
They're barely hounds, they don't even have spell forms. Theyve been hunting regular soldier deserters. Not even just mages or legionaries. consequences yes, but why is the loser club beated battle tested veterans who should still be relatively in shape. Surely there was absolutely no expectation for them to actually succeed in capturing Castile? It feels cheap as is, they weren't presented as threatening enough, if anything, the chapter in Firth's POV further talked down the state of the hounds and their inability to train, equip or get proper talent in the roles. The force seems grossly inadequate, and the fight should have further represented that. At least in my opinion
Florian Brauer
>“Where are my children?” Clarissa bellowed in fear. She raced forward before anyone could stop her from reaching Mabel. The Hound on Firth’s right blade appeared from under his cloak and hissed through the air, cutting through her throat. Her hands went to her throat as she fell to her knees. This paragraph made me reread it 2-3 times to figure out who attacked whom. For one I had trouble with "her" in the third sentence, does it refer to Mabel or Clarissa. Also the description of the hound could be simplified. There is no reason to add Firth here. The closest Hound's blade appeared from under his clock and hissed through the air, cutting through Clarissa's throat.
BubblyGhost
Don't give into these comments, we've known for awhile that Firth was on the way to hunt Castille down and that he's a prick not above threatening or killing to get his way. His men are hounds, someone dying was bound to realistically happen, and honestly I enjoy that this world has consequences.
Mark P
No reason to kill off any more of eryks friends. Rewrite with firth being bested and running off with only a few men left.
1536539
Man please don’t kill lirkin, haven’t they suffered enough? Dammit I’m still getting over Adrian’s death. Have him lose an arm or a leg or something.
1536539
A really good chapter, the thuggish way they approached goes to show how badly trained the new hounds are, an old hound pack would have scouted more, possibly for days until they new the movements of their target. I literally sat up straighter when the hounds appeared. On a side note, can we please not kill any member of our beloved gang? I know it’s far more impactful to have lirkin killed but dammit i like him!!, plus it feels sloppy to have only one potion. How about he loses a limb instead? Please?
1536539
He killed lirkin
IndyBart
This is my thought too, if they are really the secret police they should have just started a sting to start following people. Instead they blew their wad on the first person they saw. Even if it’s an organization in decline they were still somehow competent enough to track people as far as they did.
IndyBart
Sad to see another one die, nor sure what purpose it serves other than to highlight hounds are thugs or to piss off Eryk so he starts to hunt Hounds before going after the Emperor. Honestly feel like that could be achieved without the cook dying. The ending does feel rushed, but a few extra chapters of searching for the hounds I don’t would matter, maybe a pov on why Firth is willing to betray his friends.
Chris
I liked the chapter overall. It does feel a bit rushed at the end. You’re bringing previously mentioned issues, (character flaws), from the previous chapters and using them to push into the next dilemma for the MC. previously it was the amulet, and now word of his abilities are getting out; and that he’s still alive. In book 5 the survivors were pushed/forced by Eryk to train. Benito’s big mouth was pointed out in books 2 and 5. Mateo’s inability to keep a secret was pointed out in book 5 with the pillow talk with Glasha. When Konstatin found Lirkin upon arriving to Gramney he remarked that he had developed a pudge. Castille even remarked that he was fully adapting to living as an innkeeper. So, it’s not a stretch that they were lax/slacking off on their training, and that Benito/Mateo bragged so openly about Eryk’s abilities. However, Blaze has also been reliable and dependable for the MC, so it’s surprising he didn’t have them training more and keeping themselves more alert. They would have known Konstatin had hounds hunting him in the orc capital, so they should have known to be more alert/on guard. The bloodcompass would have taken Firth directly to Castille, given the how it was described/the hounds in training used it in book 4. So he would have been able to find her at Adrian’s Rest and/or track her around the city. So maybe make Firth approaching Mateo to be more of a hostage situation, to force Castille to a place they want her to subdue her. Firth wouldn’t know that’s she’s burnt since Wylie dipped early into their escape. You made Firth and Wylie to be more cutthroat in the Firth POV. Firth himself seemed to enjoy hunting the deserters. However he did have a strong attachment to Castille and the company given the information in books 1-3, so the initial conflict wouldn’t be too out of place. It also didn’t seem like these hounds were well trained, so Firth not having absolute control would also be plausible; they all came across as more blood thirsty in his POV. Once the fighting started I don’t think Firth or Wylie would have hesitated/backed off at the end; since it got to the point where they cut down Lirkin. Maybe make it more about Firth fleeing because his hound pack was decimated. He would flee and use the knowledge of Eryk’s abilities to have his life spared by the Emperor. The Telhian Empire is extremely brutal and doesn’t have a bottom line it seems. The First Citizens rule with an iron fist, and kill each other. Selene’s parents, Viridia’s children, and the grudge Octavian held against Castille for decades. So, if Firth failed to capture Castille, then he would need something to save himself; Eryk’s abilities would work
Jonathan Walker
Dude Eryk is going to hunt them down with Konstantine and kill them all now lol oooh boy I can't wait for them to get back.
Salvo
What does Firth have that can capture a mage? I understand without fingers she’d be limited to spell forms, but hounds have a short duration paralysis poison and anti-coagulate, so this capture mission is likely cutting off her head. I’m not sure Firth is this dumb.
Tim Qunell
Firth and friends need to die slowly. I think Konstantine should do the honors. While Eryk takes old Wylie down for being a shit and a moron.
Gyatzilla
Uhh this seems super random. The outcome is understandable, but it feels like the set up isn’t there (unless there are chapters I missed). Maybe it would be beneficial to have a chapter or two of Firth closing in and setting up an ambush. Also, the mom and kids feel like pure plot devices. Losing Lirkin and a seriously wounded Mateo for randoms we just met feels hollow. Maybe they were introduced previously, but if so they were so unmemorable I feel that it only highlights my point further. Also, using the kids to mention Eryk seems unsatisfying. It’s already a lame move on Mateo’s part spilling Eryk’s secrets to kids for entertainment. Totally not a bro move. I get that the point is for Renna to learn about Eryk, but there has to be a smoother way. Lastly, how are none of them at least a little on guard? If I were Castile I would have the legionaries at least paired up and armed. It isn’t a secret that the emperor has a grudge against Castile and that hounds are a real risk. These are elites trained to hunt rogue legionaries. The group were caught so badly with their pants down, despite it sounding like it being a normal day for them. On that same note Firth went about his job all wrong. His every action was so loud and had no subtly. With how lax the gang was it should have been a cakewalk to nab Castile. Instead, Firth pounced on the first legionary he saw. Sure he is a new hound, but was his training so accelerated that he performs with as much grace as a street thug? Sorry for the rant. I want to respect the author’s vision. It’s just that I was so pumped for the gang to finally get back together. Especially after several chapters of Eryk traveling. So having Firth come out of left field and kill Mateo was a “wtf did I just read” moment.
Andrew
Thank you!
Potato
I don’t remember, how did firth find them again? Also I know people die in this story but Adrian already died and these guys are retired already. I’d rather them just kidnap the children and firth talks to them saying that he has the kids. You know then mc comes and the kids and Clarissa get to see the stories were closer to the truth than they thought ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also the hounds quality has dropped and Eryk and Konst trained the lads better.
SwiftFate
Definitely a bit rushed at the end there
Marten Byl
I don't think of eryk as a murder hobo, konstatine and gilda, yes, none of them take this easy
Cryin Daily
Like mateos current mood a lot, papa bear mentality. Rip lirk
Invalid Entry
Hopefully. Should be cathartic. Hope the author isn’t planning on trying to do some logical gymnastics to make these losers a real threat and they’re just here to push the conflict with the new emperor.
Invalid Entry
Other issues aside the decision to give the healing potion to the dumbass who got herself slit for nothing and who the readers have zero investment in because I think she was just introduced in this chapter to create this choice versus giving it to their years long comrade who everyone likes who was stabbed while actually contributing to the fight feels kind of dumb. Lol I’d be pretty pissed as Eryk and the away team when I got back and found that they had made that choice. I guess firth belongs to con but I hope eryk goes real hardcore on Wylie. Like just casually bitch slapping the remaining redshirt hounds into the grave in front of him, then Wylie’s all blubbering and having second thoughts and saying it wasn’t supposed to be like this before eryk just slowly beats him to death. The readers really deserve some payback for the emotional turmoil here after these scrubs slipped in days or hours ahead of eryk and the a-team.
Invalid Entry
This one felt awfully short. Yeah might want to remove the bit about the kid revealing the name of the tavern. It felt jarringly artificial and didn’t really contribute to things anyway. Having a name wouldn’t tell them where it is and with Firth bringing along the child the reader would naturally assume he forced her to guide him there by threatening the others or just followed him.
Sparkley Unicorn
Leaving the implication of how they found them, in my opinion, doesn't matter all that much. It should be relatively understood as this is what hounds do. A place named "Adrian's Rest" should be a fairly big give away when they were told to find Castile here. The issue feels more like the current hounds were presented as a shadow of what they were earlier in the story. To really send it through though, you could just add a sentence or two of Mateo noticing or ignoring a couple new faces around the area recently. Or maybe even briefly feeling like someone was following him toward that meeting point? But it feels like unnecessary handholding. As for the kids... It's a hostage situation, Mateo should know it's a lose lose situation regardless, in that situation the only REAL chance for success is to buy time IE going to Adrian's rest as told. Dying in the tavern would gain nothing and is a pretty guaranteed L with the hostages and multiple flanking opponents. Maybe a quick inner thought to buy time by playing nice and getting help? Seems mostly okay as is though
Sparkley Unicorn
I feel you need to go back to the previous chapter and add a bit. Forgot the number, but the last firth POV chapter. The impression I was given was that firth as well as the hounds under him while hounds... Are likely more at the stage of pups in training. I do not believe, even in this hectic scenario, that they should have so easily beat the group after Eryk had been training them. Presumably, quite well at that. Using his dreamscape to then point it out, to spar and run drills to sure up weak points in their guard or offense. I would hope for you to either show them fighting a bit more competently, or add to the last firth chapter that he had the opportunity to cherry pick his own hounds? Or to mention them fighting more to give a reader a sense that "oh, these guys are actually a threat beyond the issue that the empire is wanting to hunt down Castile." I was not given that impression. I understand they're in a more civilian setting, but they surely can't be that stupid, yeah? Like they KNOW hunting down deserters is what gets the empire off, and they certainly need it for moral and to save face. Castile had, from what I remember, shown herself to be quite decisive in most instances. To have a healthy degree of paranoia etc… there's no the company wouldn't have proper weaponry in Adrian's rest, at least not from the impression I have been given as a reader. Soldiers take a while to come out of that mindset, they don't come back from deployment and just flip the switch to be fully calm, no jitters, no issues within a month of civilian life. The company have been actively fighting and deploying non stop all across the empire, through dungeons then even when they finished and left the empire, continues to then fight as adventurers. Not with the same intensity and consistency, but enough to where I find it hard to believe they wouldn't be somewhat equipped or paranoid of this sort of situation. That's all fixable however by simply adding to the past chapter to make Firth's hounds seem more legitimate and threatening. That they aren't all missing spell forms you would expect from a squad sent to deal with not just a mage company, but a company headed by a mage who has been proven very consistently to get shit done as it has been pressed very early on in the story. No knowledge how bad her burn is, no knowledge of how many men she still has around her etc and the emperor with a hate boner for Castile sends the loser squad, and they kind of win? It seems too much of a stretch as is. No way he wouldn't send people capable of dragging her ass back so he could finally get his revenge based on how he was presented around the city siege arc and tribunal. Other than that it's okay, a few things that could be fixed with editing but I'm unsure what it is you're actually looking for in critique, or how nitpicky to be. The chapter, in my opinion, is relatively passable as is. I'm mostly just annoyed with it here as I had been a fan of Castile’s character. I see you want something to push her hand, or the company's hand to pursue grudges or issues with the Empire, but I don't believe this is the way to do it. It takes away too much from what we know of the character's so far.
Andres919
Irony is that Eryk gets back and everyone already left town?
Andres919
Makes sense…. Maybe change Logan to say something like “ going back home/inn” and having Firth ask “Adrian’s rest?” … Showing that Firth knows where they are staying and is just reaching out to Mateo as a form of “goodwill” since he is only after Castile
NovaZero
May he die barking.
Erick Thiemke
I am assuming Firth or Wylie noticed Mateo and knew he entered Grannies tavern. As for leaving the kids, I didnt think the plot gave him a choice. Three vs one? I did go back and add the kid revealing Adrian's Rest Inn as a way to speed things up but he can just be followed by Wylie and the two other Hounds
Andres919
It’s a bit too coincidental… Firth walks to the same tavern as Mateo without any prior knowledge? Also Oliver says “going back to Adrian’s rest” instead of saying I don’t want to go back to the inn … it seems like he was giving him directions. It also hard to believe Mateo just left the children behind at the tavern and goes directly back not expecting to be followed … everything is just a bit too coincidental
Eddie
Oof juicy stuff. I’m curious how resigned to her situation she will be. If she already has a kid on the way then how much will Stockholm syndrome have taken effect? Or will she be rebellious regardless? Looking forward to finding out.
Chachi
and now we wait for murder hobo eryk…
Kim Santos
Redo. Eric saves the day no one dies and they kill the emperor. Man Lirkin, ... it's a hard one to take.
Sunny Yang
Firth’s actions seem really hasty, given he didn’t know that Castile was burnt and just found out that Eryk was alive. RIP Lirkin.
Samuel Lévesque
Good chapter, don't think you need to rewrite much, feels frenetic
Lost1nCarcosa
Really did not like this one... It all seemed unnecessarily brutal. Would it make more sense as a hound to tail Mateo for a while instead of confronting like that and maybe loosing an opportunity to find Castille? ... IDK... Obviously not my story to write, this one just didn't sit right with me.
Erick Thiemke
yes, the idea is he reports back to Emperor Octavian with his consort Renna at his side
Eddie
Thought Castile was gonna die this chap, but it would have been disappointing to have done all that work to heal her for nothing, so I'm glad she has some story left. Rip Larkin. So Firth is gonna report back that Eryk is alive. New problems for our MC.
Stephen Gauthier
Firth using the kids as hostages just goes to show what a low life he is.
Erick Thiemke
Firth is torn. He doesn't want to kill Castile. He is a prick, for sure, but he respects her. I tried to avoid a direct confrontation as Castile would have killed him easily enough. He does have mage poison on him that he never got to use. This also gives Eryk and the others another reason later in the story to return to the Empire (they will have other reasons by the end of book 6).
Justin Barnett
Great chapter, but I do have some thoughts. Firth walking up to Mateo and talking seems off. He seems to prefer ambushes. And the hounds just walking into the inn also seems strange. He doesn’t know where Castile is and he doesn’t know she’s burnt, so I’d expect firth to be more cautious.
Stephen Gauthier
I hope Firth dies a very slow and painful death
Alwx
Nooooooo lirkin.....
Glenn S
Oh. All hell is about to break loose. Castile already wanted to strike back. Now they've killed Lirkin and she's about to get alot of her magic back. Smh. Firth fixin to die hard.
