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A Soldier's Life - 345 - Fresh Air

🕑 Added 2025-02-13 04:16:30 +0000 UTC

Comments

Adam V

Nice dungeon run, good loot. The dungeon was super helpful, hope they don't kill it Edit: Maveith knew the legionnaire slang term and was trying to be funny. I couldn’t find the humor in it as the gargantuan creature inside the chamber -[. I] just looked too lethal. I had the dungeon rope in [???] but was hesitant to get it soaked with blood.

Aspiring Sage

So Raelia should get all the stuff from the worm room? Also, after 5.5 books, any reader should realize that Eryk is not Durandus. He surrounds himself with people who have earned his trust over a long period of time. He is ruthless to enemies, ambivalent at best with people he does not trust, and supremely loyal and generous to those who have his back. And it has worked out well for him in this crazy new world he finds himself in. And by helping those around him grow, he will have allies who grow in power even as he outstrips them. He also realizes that he has time. Lots of time for any future growth.

caeven

Eryk really needs some lessons on leadership. being a "generous leader" is all well and good, but there needs to be a limit. when everyone contributed divide the spoils equally. that's what a good leader does. when someone didn't want to participate then they get nothing. that's basic carrot and stick. fighting a hydra singelhandly while most your companions don't even try to help then let them come up at the end with full entitlement expecting a part of the reward? that's not good leadership. he should've learned more from Castile. she shared, but never to the point she let herself get taken advantage of. now look at the loyalty she inspired.

Andrew Crews

Maveith’s deep voice boomed behind me, “Harpies[’] tits? That is definitely not a harpy, Konstantin.” Maveith knew the legionnaire slang term and was trying to be funny. I couldn’t find the humor in it [with] the gargantuan creature inside the chamber. [It] just looked too lethal. When a head breached the water in a spray, it had a large flopping fish clamped in its jaws[.] [The] other mouths snapped at the fish, and a tangle of necks and snake-like heads fought for the fish. Hisses, growls, and snips occurred as they all wrestled for the prize. It darted forward, and the flame exploded amid the heads. [Consider clarifying or expanding slightly: “The fireball darted forward…”] One looked like it had failed to close its eyes and was blinded, but the other necks strained to attack us, the body obeying the collective will and plodding after us. [Awkward phrasing. Suggestion: “…the other heads strained forward to attack us, their body obeying the collective will and plodding after us.”] Soon, a second and then a third head joined the first[.] [With] fetid breath and snapping jaws well out of the reach of us, I smiled in victory. I activated my dimensional space, displacing a narrow plane of [matter—air, flesh, and all—] right where the monster’s necks were, [banishing] it into my [pocket space]. The floor became slick and difficult to walk [on], but I noticed my companions backing away unscathed, leaving me to my bloody fate. My balance was perfect, and I could have surfed the blood-slick floor, but I didn’t want to be on the hydra’s menu. I sat down, which slowed my slide to almost nothing. The hydra’s body blocked the exit, but it convulsed in shock at losing most of its brain power. [Suggest adding apostrophe consistently: “The hydra[’]s body blocked…”] The remaining head ignored me as it snapped at the head and began to pull chunks of flesh off [of] it. [Consider: “pull chunks of flesh from it.”] I had the dungeon rope in [my dimensional space] but was hesitant to get it soaked with blood. At least he had tried, unlike Raelia and Konstantin. “[Just] a few more minutes before I can take care of the hydra.” [Consider adding “Just” to smooth the phrasing into dialogue.] Raelia emerged from the corridor with determination. She had navigated the blood without difficulty and was determined to be here when we opened the chest. [Repetition of “determined.” Consider replacing the second instance with “eager” or “intent.”] That final free space was about what I liked to leave open to slay a creature with the space if needed. [Awkward wording. Suggestion: “…leave open for killing a creature with my space if needed.”] At least the large goats had not turned in[to] hydras or some other nasty creature. Maveith was unfamiliar with fighting with a shield, but he could wield his maul one-handed so he could learn to utilize the shield. [Consider replacing second “he could” with “he would be able to” to avoid repetition.] We had one minor tunnel collapse, but nothing serious other than a few lung[fuls] of dust.

Gwalmeich

I'm sure he isn't unlocking another affinity for the rest of the story.

Theo Tomss

Eryk must have at least 60 to 70 minor nature essence and at least half a dozen apex ones, I wonder when he’ll be able to unlock this affinity, will he have to wait until he has a bigger aether pool or just wait until he is with the elf mage healer ?

Erick Thiemke

if the blood was caustic to the skin, it is unlikely the meat it edible

Silver Beard

Damn... I suppose if they are going to let the Dungeon live, we need to come up with a name? Mage Challenge?

Silver Beard

Don't leave it up to the Goliath's... report the Dungeon to the Adventure Guild. The figs are worth investigating and said it several times already, but more adventurers will winnow the manticore population.

visigoth

I bet a certain adolescent griffin would enjoy hydra steak lol

Senna

I feel that maveith ended up choosing to not skin the Hydra, since you dont mention him carrying anything, but its left a bit open ended since you dont state it one way or another. What about the meat? I would love to hear if its edible or even if they take some of it

Laggmaster

The paragraph where he kills the hydra is a bit unclear. "I didn't take a chance to kill it with the spear, instead severing the head when I was in range" So he decides not to cut its head off with the spear and uses his space to kill it. It does not talk about the backlash and then the dungeon pushes on his mind. He should have to renew his mind fortress for it to be up if I remember correctly.

Ivan Kanewske

Thank you

Ivan Kanewske

The large goats at least had not turned in hydras or some other nasty creature. In to into

Eriach

Take your time. Don't let them push you too hard

Andrew

Thank you!

Ivan Kanewske

push—it felt like it was angry or unhappy with me. Maybe this would read better push—it felt like the dungeon was angry or unhappy with me.

Ivan Kanewske

I had the dungeon rope in but was hesitant to get it soaked with blood I think you need to remove in for this to read better Or add in my storage,

Erick Thiemke

4th of 4 to finish the last cycle. Yes, I am working on Town Builder! Just had more clear thoughts of rushing this rough chapter out.


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