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World Sphere - 47 - The New Class

🕑 Added 2025-04-30 23:41:44 +0000 UTC

Comments

Ivan Kanewske

I said supportively,ignoring her closeness. Need a space before ignoring

Ivan Kanewske

Many of the students would never to return to their families, going into a profession or onto an advanced academy after the year. Remove the first to Many of the students would never return to their families, going into a profession or onto an advanced academy after the year.

Ivan Kanewske

Callem was the currently the only instructor here as families dropped off the students for a year of instruction.  Remove the first the Callem was currently the only instructor here as families dropped off the students for a year of instruction. 

Ivan Kanewske

but I was also doing the physical labor of painting and moving in furniture as it was delivered o skyships.  O to to

Ivan Kanewske

At level 5, I confirmed that space was increasing at a rate equal to my aether core growth, so it made sense to increase the depth of the space by two feet for the evolution. Is this a run on sentence? Would SO be the start of the next sentence?

Ivan Kanewske

I knew this was partly from being a dungeon created spellbook and the fact that I had affinities for both lightning and healing, the aspects of this spell. I think, remove a command and the by aspects I knew this was partly from being a dungeon created spellbook and the fact that I had affinities for both lightning and healing aspects of this spell.

Erick Thiemke

Thanks for the edits. I will get to them before I post on RR. There were a ton of edits from the original version. This will be posted on RR and is pre-editor version but the plot is cemented

Dennis Crocker

Like the chapter, but more errors than usual. I’ll try to point out a few for you. “moving in furniture as it was delivered o skyships.” I’m guessing “on” instead of “o”. “Callem was the currently the only instructor here” This could either cut the first “the” or “the currently” and read better. “students would never to return to their families” cut the first “to”. “I was torn as to what I should invest in this relationship with Mera pushing so hard. We were both close to age, about 16 physically, but in reality” Should this be close in age at 16, but 18 physically with the longer Skyholme years? “After morning classes, will have lunch followed” “we’ll” or we will. “Since the twins had already had a reading” this is fine but the first “had” is not needed. “According to the books, mages, particularly the powerful ones, had suppressed my hormonal urges during the time their aether cores developed.” “my” can be deleted.


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