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A Soldier's Life - 371 - The Otherworlders (edit 5-10-25 +3300 words, still might add more)

🕑 Added 2025-04-04 01:33:58 +0000 UTC

Comments

Adam V

I like the improvements from the first version. I feel more invested in these new characters, and the foreshadowing of the missing people at the beginning was a really nice touch Edits: Evie observed Teresa was having trouble hiding [he]->[her] own stress at their situation.

Aspiring Sage

A few things. 1) earlier chapter said the dialect in Yuetsen sounded Spanish, but Anika spoke German. 2) are the girls 10 or 12? I think you had both ages, one in this chapter, and one in an earlier chapter. 3) if that Irish pub where people have gone missing for 500+ years is linked to a region near Yuetsen, why is the spoken language closer to Spanish (or German). 4) I am very curious what spell form and affinity gives that body force power to Katia?

Erick Thiemke

always welcome experts in local dialects

Michael McMahon

I can give you a few tweaks to the Irish slang and phrases if you want. No one in Dublin would use the term Langer, thats a Cork thing!

Lindasm

Is their magic then? Perhaps…….Is there magic then?

Justin Barnett

One thing you could do to humanize Evie is to make her very empathic. Instead of her being entranced by death, you could make her feel upset at seeing dead animals and revive them because she wants them to live.

Dennis Crocker

They seem able to communicate with the new people in this world much easier than Eryk. He needed a translator at first. Or maybe saying the people in this world spoke a bastardized German was supposed to be my answer.

Karnnie

I think the addition of more outworlders is a boon if Eryk finds them. Each and everyone of them will have powerful affinities and Since they are all Women, Eryk's weakness, he will take them in and teach them. In a short time he will have a very very powerful group by his side.

Gwalmeich

I want Eric to build his own mage tower and become Desia's equivalent of Gandalf. It would be hilarious to see that happen, especially with his time spellform.

Kenny

@Alwaysrollsaone i think you need to give have some kind of hard goal for mc to reach, novel is doing great because of world building and mysteries, but that will fade out later, there needs to be some kind of overarching plot, some kind grand goal to all of these or something I dunno. Like in naruto, the boy wanted to be village chief)

E Brown

Yep, even mild-mannered Maveith killed a teen necromancer without a second thought. All they can do is tell the kid that she’ll likely be killed immediately if she does it again and wait for Chekov’s gun to go off. It looks like “Be Kind to Otherworlders Day” won’t be happening any time soon. Maybe a t-shirt that says “More Otherworlders, More Problems” would be appropriate.

Stephen Gauthier

So which adult female do you think was killed in the previous chapter that Eryk found buried with ground speak? I think there was one with a sword and a dark haired one he sees at a distance as he gets close to their camp.

Marten Byl

Don't usually agree but I'm meh as well

Bead

Would not enjoy them letting her live and her turning into a super villain Eryk has to go apprehend later due to guilt

Bead

Isn’t raising the dead super illegal? Wondering how they are going to deal with this

Chachi

meh dont realy care for these otherworlders tbh

Eddie

TFTC. The POV is definitely better placed here. I’m still hesitant about having all these new characters at once but it helps that they’re about to interact with the MC.

Andrew

Thank you!


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