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World Sphere - 67 - Team Building

🕑 Added 2025-07-11 23:03:31 +0000 UTC

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InfernoDroid

So, I think this was stated to be the best place to discuss the unedited books 2&3. For context I just finished chapter 116 and am kinda hating Storm anytime he has an interaction with Loriel. He's supposed to act more like an adult with his vague memories but acts like a complete child around her and always getting in a pissing match with her that could easily be solved with a simple conversation with her about how he doesn't want to be forced into politics. She also normally seems like she'd be smart enough to just ask him went he's always so combative with her even when or doesn't help him. When they interact it almost feels like two different characters interacting. I know your are doing a slight polishing up on Gareth (and boy does he need it, as compared to the rewriting one, he's kinda a scumbag) so maybe a look at Storme and Loriel's relationship might not hurt as you seem to have become a much better writer since you originally wrote it. I hope this doesn't come off as too harsh, it's just felt really off putting anytime the two of them interact and causes me to loose respect for Storme. (This may be your intent though, and fair enough, maybe it's a long term growth plot for him) But hey, wtf do i know, I'm not the successful author here lol

Joseph Snyder

it. That was all the time a trio needed to overwhelm me The trio. In any other situation he would kill a trio.

Joseph Snyder

open my bicep in the last round.” I shook my head slowly in disbelief as they all seemed to be having have. Having what?


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