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I need help with tenses (serious help i am losing my mind)
🕑 Added 2024-06-30 19:06:01 +0000 UTCSo i have starting go back to the beginning and prepping the changes for the release. And i need help with the tense/perspective the narrator will use.
I am also correcting grammar, spelling and punctuation. First time in 3 years! It doesn't feel good!
I know most of these types of games don't have a narrator, but i want mine to have one.
NOTE: I UNDERSTAND THAT A LOT OF THE GRAMMAR IS COMPLETELY FUCKED IN THIS GAME.
I am not a professional writer or anything, just a normal guy lololol x
EDIT: "Ruby" will be changed to "Mom/step-mom" in the release, or whatever else you called her.
Second Person Present Tense:
"You nod in understanding, appreciating the invitation to linger in the hubbub of Ruby's workplace."
First Person Present Tense:
"I nod in understanding, appreciating the invitation to linger in the hubbub of Ruby's workplace."
In both versions, the action and the tense (present tense) remain the same, but the perspective changes:
Second person addresses the reader or protagonist directly as "you," making them the focal point of the narrative.
First person uses "I" or "we" to describe the actions and experiences from the narrator's or protagonist's viewpoint.
EXAMPLE 1 - 1st person in present tense:
Ruby: "Back to it. We've got a mountain today," she says, mouthing the words at Nina. (3380)
Nina nods in acknowledgement, her short hair bouncing as she briskly returns to her duties. (3381)
The door closes softly behind me, muffling the ambient noise from the outside. (3382)
Ruby: "Okay, got it!" (3382)
Ruby sighs as she puts her phone back in her pocket. (3383)
Ruby: "Crazy day, as usual. But you're welcome to stick around if you want. Just try not to disturb us too much."
I nod in understanding, appreciating the invitation to linger in the hubbub of Ruby's workplace.
The rhythmic tapping of keys and the occasional ring of phones form a backdrop to our conversation.
You: "Sure, I can hang around. Anything I can help with?"
EXAMPLE 2 - 2nd person in present tense:
Ruby: "Back to it. We've got a mountain today," she says, mouthing the words at Nina. (3380)
Nina nods in acknowledgement, her short hair bouncing as she briskly returns to her duties. (3381)
The door closes softly behind her, muffling the ambient noise from the outside. (3382)
Ruby: "Okay, got it!" (3382)
Ruby sighs as she puts her phone back in her pocket. (3383)
Ruby: "Crazy day, as usual. But you're welcome to stick around if you want. Just try not to disturb us too much."
You nod in understanding, appreciating the invitation to linger in the hubbub of Ruby's workplace.
The rhythmic tapping of keys and the occasional ring of phones form a backdrop to your conversation.
You: "Sure, I can hang around. Anything I can help with?"
Comments
Krazy Waves
I say second for this case, unless you plan to play with the narration as a story element later. Just seems for this story and what's going on, second present seems like the best option.
