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DRR Book 4, Chapter 14 — Trouble in the City

🕑 Added 2025-03-20 15:47:28 +0000 UTC

Comments

Joeskine Sabbe

Absolutely no need for explanations, dear author. I'm just grateful for the beautiful stories and trying to help where I can. I'm enchanted by the quality of your writing, doing all by yourself.

Silver Linings

Some of these are artifacts from the several rounds of editing, I think, haha. This chapter got so much longer than I expected. Appreciate the finds! Fixing them now.

Silver Linings

Nope, definitely an error! I was pretty out of it when I was posting this chapter, haha. Fixing along with the edits above- thanks for pointing it out! And heh, I definitely have some time shenanigans planned.

Jason Gross

Agreed, the issue with the final sentence is that "clause, which Noun verb" suggests that verb applies to the clause, but the grimace does not apply to the corrections. A better phrasing would be to change "which Soul of Trade grimaces and begrudgingly changes." into "which Soul of Trade begrudgingly changes, grimacing." or "which Soul of Trade begrudgingly changes with a grimace." or "which Soul of Trade changes begrudgingly, with a grimace." or "which Soul of Trade changes begrudgingly, grimacing."

Gingiberry

how is it that I feel this stiffed on a cliff hanger BY A PHONE CALL!? loving the build up

Joeskine Sabbe

Excited for Zhao's stories!

Joeskine Sabbe

Proofreading: 'I can't help but chuck' should be 'I can't help but chuckle' 'Guard's shoulder abruptly slump' should be 'Guard's shoulders abruptly slump' 'Gheraa glances over the makeshift contract and immediately suggests several corrections, which Soul of Trade grimaces and begrudgingly changes.' Above phrase seems a bit weird grammatically? Should be two phrases? Dunno, not anglophone, just feels weird.

Jason Gross

Man, I was expecting Ethan to pull some bs and bring the future of the non-ruined Fyran into his timeline to free Soul of Trade from her contact on some technicality, and pick up another traveling companion in Fyran. I look forward to seeing what becomes of this remnant & Soul of Trade though. Also, you have two chapters named Parallels in Time in a row -- was that deliberate?


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