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DRR Book 3, Chapter 68 — Home Away From Home
🕑 Added 2025-01-26 15:43:43 +0000 UTCThere are a few more loose ends I need to tie up before risking a reset, which means I spend most of the trip interrogating Gheraa and trying to understand the intricacies of the loop. He's a lot more free with information now that he doesn't have to hide what he's doing from the rest of the Integrators, but it's also surprising to me how much he doesn't know.
"We have no idea what's causing the Anomaly," he confesses when I try asking about it. "It doesn't match any event in any other Trial that I know of. Hestia is the only planet that's reacted negatively to the Integration process." He frowns a little. "Though it's not the only Heart to try fighting back."
"Sounds like the planets don't like being Integrated," I say mildly. Gheraa is silent for a moment before he nods in reluctant agreement.
"Integration gives the Interface control over the planetary Heart," he says. "It is not a pleasant process for them."
I can imagine. I say nothing in response to this, though Ahkelios and Guard both exchange glances with one another. Ahkelios in particular I can sense is itching to ask about what happened to his planet; the only reason he hasn't is because he's waiting for me to be done.
I gesture for him to ask. May as well get it over with.
"Do you know what happened to my planet?" Ahkelios asks immediately.
Gheraa frowns at him. "Which planet is that?"
I wince. Somewhat predictably, Ahkelios looks offended. "Yotun," he says, and his expression falls when there isn't even a flicker of recognition in Gheraa's face. "You don't know, do you?"
"I cannot possibly know the status of every planet that has been Integrated," Gheraa says defensively.
"Do you know what your people are doing to these planets?" Ahkelios demands. "You could at least do the courtesy of remembering!"
I consider stepping in, but something about Gheraa's expression stops me—the defensiveness melts away into a mixture of guilt and resignation, and when he speaks again, it's... well, it's a start.
"As you have already surmised, the threat of planetary destruction when we first begin Integration is a lie," the former Integrator says, his voice a little quieter. "Planets destroyed in the process of Integration are few and far between, and every Integrator knows of them. I do not know the exact status of Yotun, but I can assure you it still exists."
Ahkelios's relief is palpable through our bond. He nods at Gheraa, not yet forgiving him but still appreciating the response.
I probably should have considered this possibility. Ahkelios and Guard may have been on board with my mission to bring Gheraa back, but he's still an Integrator. He's part of the species responsible for the uprooting of their entire lives. As much as he's done for us, they only really have my word to go on, and I can tell they don't entirely trust him yet.
For me, trusting him is a simple, binary choice—one I made the moment I saw what he'd done for us. For them... well, hopefully fighting together will help, but I suspect this is the type of problem only time can remedy.
Ironic, that.
"Gheraa," I say. He looks up at me, still tense. "I need to know what you know about the loops. What's going to happen when we reset? Both you and Ahkelios aren't really supposed to be here. Ahkelios used to be a product of Temporal Link, but now he has his own fully realized body. You're a walking paradox. Neither of you exist at the start of the loop. What's going to happen if I die? Or if Ahkelios dies?"
"Um," Gheraa says, evidently thrown by the sudden change in topic. Some of that tension bleeds away, though, and he seems thankful to have something else to focus on. "I'm not sure? Wait, hold on."
I raise an eyebrow at him. He huffs indignantly. "Wait," he says. "I'm thinking!"
We walk in silence for the next few minutes. Gheraa curses every so often when he steps too deep into mud or stumbles into a branch—he does not seem used to existing in a physical environment, and more than once I catch him waving at a tree as if he can dismiss it from existence with a thought.
Ahkelios nudges me, looking nervous. "You don't think I'm going to die, do you?" he asks worriedly. "If the loop resets, I mean."
"As if I'd let that happen," I say, nudging him back.
Guard makes an agreeing sort of hum. "I would not allow this, either," he says. He sounds surprisingly sure of himself—the phase shift and the soulbond have both done a lot for him, it seems.
"I've got it!" Gheraa announces. I blink and turn to him only for him to immediately walk into a tangle of vines.
Somehow, he ends up both restrained and dangling upside down. His attempts at waving his cane around only serve to tangle him up further.
"You need help over there?" I ask, amused.
"No," Gheraa says stiffly. He pauses. "Maybe."
"Can't you burn these away with your Firmament?" I ask, reaching up to pull him free.
"Well, yes," he admits. He dusts himself off the moment I manage to free him enough for him to land on the ground, looking affronted by the dirt that managed to get on his coat. "But then I would be doing a poor job of acclimating. Imagine if I vaporized a door instead of opening it!"
"I feel like you know how to open doors," I deadpan. I can't entirely fault the logic, though. It makes a certain practical sense.
At the same time, though... I eye him for a moment. I'm pretty sure a good amount of his clumsiness has been genuine, but this one feels deliberate. Gheraa doesn't quite meet my eyes, which only confirms my suspicions.
I don't say anything about it, though. We'll have plenty of time to talk in the future. In the meantime, if nothing else, both Ahkelios and Guard seem cautiously amused.
"You were saying?" I prompt. Gheraa takes a moment to come back to himself.
"Oh! Yes." He twirls his cane and then plants it into the ground. "I am reasonably certain that a reset will cause a metastable tumor to form within the temporal boundary of the loop."
"In plain terms, please."
Gheraa sighs dramatically. "A reset will put both me and your friend into a stable version of the Tears I'm sure you've encountered by now. All we have to do is break out. Or you may have to break us out. One or the other."
"And you believe this because?" I ask.
"This," he says, gesturing to Ahkelios and himself, "is the first time entire beings external to the loop have been introduced to it after its inception. But it is not the first time an object has been introduced to the loop. In the first few iterations of this Trial, dungeons and Hotspots would both reward physical objects to the Trialgoer that completed them."
"I'm guessing there was a problem with that," I say dryly. Gheraa's explanation reminds me of the Chromatic Threads I received from the first Hotspot I completed—I still haven't really had the time to practice using them, and without practice they're so impractically deadly that I'd more or less forgotten about them.
Now that I think about it, though, Guard fights with his chains in the same way I'd like to fight with the Threads. Maybe he can give me some tips? It feels like a waste not to use them otherwise.
"Firmament, like energy, can neither be created nor destroyed," Gheraa says, catching my attention again. He shoots me a dirty look. "You should be aware that placing objects within the Empty City for preservation was not an intended use of the dungeon portal. Every loop iteration costs the Interface a fraction of its Firmament to preserve those objects."
"Unfortunate," I say, not meaning it at all. The well-being of the Interface isn't high up on my list of priorities. Gheraa seems to recognize this, because he just smirks a little at my words.
"It was a clever workaround," he allows. "Something we'll likely patch out in the next Trial—well," he frowns, correcting himself. "Something the Integrators would patch out. If there was another Trial."
He shakes his head. "This is beside the point. Because Firmament cannot be destroyed, a new object existing within Hestia's temporal boundary causes a Tear to form. That Tear preserves the object into the next loop. The same should happen to me and your friend."
"Ahkelios," Ahkelios supplies, narrowing his eyes slightly. Gheraa pauses.
"Ahkelios," he amends. The mantis nods in satisfaction.
"In other words, you're pretty sure you're both going to be inside a Tear, but you don't know how easy it will be to break out from the inside," I muse. "Do you know where it shows up?"
"Near the loop anchor's spawn point," Gheraa says immediately. "That's you."
"Good to know." I nod in satisfaction. Getting them out shouldn't be a problem, then, assuming they can't get out of it themselves. That's one major worry out of the way. "You don't think Ahkelios getting his Interface back will complicate things?"
There's a long pause. When I turn to look, Gheraa has stopped in his tracks and is staring at me. "He has what?"
I pause. "...Maybe we should catch you up on things while we walk," I suggest. Now that I think about it, he has missed a lot. Especially if his memories of being a dungeon are foggy, which they appear to be.
Gheraa nods slowly. "That... sounds prudent," he manages.
—
It takes a while before Gheraa figures out how to speak again once we get him caught up. In that time, we decide that whatever we find in the Quiet Grove, we'll use the opportunity to take a break as well—in part to give Gheraa a moment and in part because... well, because we need a break.
We're all feeling the effects of battle after battle, escalation after escalation. As much as we'd like to throw ourselves headfirst into the next problem, the more we talk about everything we've been through, the more we realize how much we need to take some time to ourselves.
Evidently, the planet itself recognizes this, because when we arrive, we see that the Quiet Grove has changed. It's as quiet as ever, but miniature cabins sit in the middle of the grove.
Four of them, in fact.
"Not just a gift for me, then," I say. There's a part of me that's worried that this is a trick, but the closer we get, the more sure I am that this is in fact the Heart's doing. There's no hint of foreign powers or interference here—just a thick fog of temporal Firmament that sticks to each cabin and hovers over the grove. A hot spring, of all things, sits in the middle.
Her way of helping us, I suppose. Or maybe her way of telling us we need to take a break. Time itself is dilated here, and my read of the Firmament here tells me that it's stretched enough for us to spend days here with only an hour passing outside.
Maybe it's safe to rest properly for once.
"I'm going to go process everything you just told me, and then I'm going to barge into your cabin with a number of questions," Gheraa tells me. Then he walks off without another word, claiming the rightmost cabin and shutting the door behind him. I watch him, a little bemused.
"I think perhaps we should all get some rest," He-Who-Guards says, a little more measured. "I must speak with Aris and determine what she wishes to do."
"I'm going to train," Ahkelios announces. "Or sleep. Maybe both!"
I chuckle and watch them head into their respective cabins. I pick the last one and blink at the room that greets me. It's nothing alike, but at the same time, the way everything is placed...
It kind of looks like my old room. On Earth.
I take a few steps in, closing the door behind me and breathing in the scent. It smells like fresh wood—nothing like home—but a wave of nostalgia washes over me nonetheless.
There's a photo frame by the dresser, but no photograph in it. I pick it up, frowning slightly.
This used to hold a picture of my family. Instead, there's a note.
"Hi Ethan!" it reads. "We don't know why you asked us to build all this, but we owe ya, so here you go! Hope you like it. Lots of people helped! Even Bimar, even if she grumbled a lot. And some big bird guy? Also an old bird guy. And a scary bird lady. And a different scary bird lady, but she's not as bird-like. Hey, do you know a lot of birds for some reason?
"Thaht says I gotta stop rambling. Okay, uh, training! We have some training facilities we built according to the specs the scary AI lady gave us. She says it should work with the Interface and it'll get you prepared for the Fracture, which is confusing, because I thought you already—
"What do you mean I'm not supposed to—
"I am not writing down everything I'm say—okay, no, I am. Force of habit! Anyway, we hope this helps? A lot of people are here and want to sign this, but apparently that's not okay either and I wasn't supposed to write some of the stuff I already wrote. Oops."
The handwriting abruptly changes.
"We hope this helps, Ethan. Do what you need to do, no matter what that is. We'll be with you."
Two signatures at the bottom. Thys and Thaht, scrawled messily across the note. I chuckle a little at the phrasing, but more importantly...
This isn't just a resting spot, huh? It's something Hestia brought forward for us. Something I'll apparently ask the kobold brothers for in the future.
I glance at the trapdoor in the ground. That's definitely not in my original room.
"Sounds like a lot of people are counting on me," I muse out loud. Strangely enough, for once, I feel confident about it. Not angry, scared, or lost.
I know who I am now. And the Sunken King—Kauku, Rhoran, whoever is in control and whatever name he goes by?
He'll just have to learn.
--
Author's Note: Had to soften the promise at the end of the last chapter to make room for what happens in this one (we're still headed to the Fracture soon!)
So this is the end of book 3, kind of. Like with the last book, we'll have a series of epilogue chapters. These ones are planned to kind of show us where the characters are at and set things up for the next book. I'm hoping they'll be shorter ones I can use as a kind of buffer so I can keep giving you all content without having to take a break, but I can feel myself getting close to burnout and I really want to avoid that, so we'll see what happens there, haha.
Once the epilogues are clear I'll do a pass on the full manuscript, submit it, clean up the outline for Book 4, and then get started (hopefully in that order, but you never know.)
Thank you all for following the story this far! I've loved writing this book and I'm really excited to get into the next one.
Comments
Digit
Ah, there the threads are. Seems like they finally have a home base now, though really far from the starting point. Though the prospect of a tear being directly where Ethan spawns makes me think we might jump right back to chapter one again. That tear is gonna be caused by both a sixth and third layer who aren’t supposed to be there.
Silver Linings
Thank you so much! Happy to have you along for the ride!
Silver Linings
I hear you and appreciate the thoughtful feedback! My reply might run a little long(and might be a little rambly, sorry); you don't have to read it all, haha. Mostly it's just going to be my observations and thoughts on writing. It may pull back the curtain a bit, so be warned! My approach to writing as a whole--besides just enjoying the act of storytelling--can probably be summed up by the idea that I'm trying to improve with each book. When I initially started writing DRR, the main goal was for me to get a grasp on the underlying mechanics of progression fantasy, but a secondary goal was to understand and handle the expectations regarding wins and losses within the genre. I've learned a lot about writing since then, obviously, but some things are still pretty hard to balance with genre expectations and with my own inclinations as a writer! There's what I think of as "narrative loss" versus "emotional loss", i.e. things that are technically losses vs things that are intended to be felt as a loss; Ethan's lost narratively plenty of times, but the nature of the time loop doesn't make those losses felt. Losing Miktik was one of the ones that function as an emotional loss, but another one--that I didn't particularly capitalize on and might go back and address in edits--is that Ethan is really kind of Not Okay with the number of people that died during the Isthanok raid. That one's sort of a personal loss that didn't necessarily translate well to the reader. Book 3's goal was to figure out how to plot more tightly, and I think I achieved that part, at least! The rest I'll have to figure out going forward, keeping it balanced with the existing threads. I can't (and probably shouldn't) make any promises, but I'm doing my best, haha. Thanks again for the feedback!
Silver Linings
I'll do my best!
Silver Linings
Great catch! Who knows?
Silver Linings
Reasonably well! It's not breaking records or anything, but there's always book 2, eh?
Joeskine Sabbe
I can understand how you feel this way, but I don't see it that way. Probably because I have the impression that the starting point of your analysis is a different starting point than mine. The way I see it, he already lost plenty in life before ever setting foot on Hexia. He never had good parents or an easy time as a kid or young adult and battled his way through life, despite all odds. Just before he was pulled onto Hexia, he finally came to terms with who he was and decided not to let all the hardships in his life make him become this bitter, sour person. He decided that the most important thing in life was his connections with other people. And he does lose on Hexia, but the loops guarantee that most losses aren't of a permanent or physical nature and that firmament core damage is rare. But to me, loss is so much more than losing a battle, a challenge or a fight. Every reset, he loses the connections he built with the people on Hexia that are outside of the loops. To me, it's like Mari is someone with Alzheimer's. She has to be told now that she knows Ethan. That is a terrible loss in and of itself. His looping is not physically hurting anyone (except for the other Earthen trialgoers if I understood that part correctly), but it is pulling the connections he built apart. And now Tarin is outside of the loops as well. It's a blessing he has Ahkelios and Guard by his side. Otherwise, Ethan would be very, very lonely. Imagine having to re-explain who you are and what you've been through together to everyone you meet in life. Now if he wants to keep his surrogate parents up-to-date on what's going on in his life, he first has to explain who he is. And if he does, it's forgotten by the next loop. That has to hurt. And I don't know what you define loss as, but that seems plenty of loss to me. Every loop again.
Bigjman666
Aye take all the time you need. I can't speak for everyone but if I can speak for myself then I just want you to know I'll be here waiting every day until you feel you have this story right. I trust your process and I LOVE every chapter I get to read. Thank you for all you do and every word you write. I can't wait to have this whole series sitting on my bookshelf of my favorite books, because that's where this story belongs, as on of my all time favorites
Aaron Myers
Excited for book 4 and where the story goes from here! With that said, personally I feel like the story as a whole has a problem that's been bothering me since mid book 2 that I'll try to archiculate the best i can. Ethan doesn't lose, period. He works hard to win, he gets hurt ya, but at this point in the story no matter what happens I *know* he will succeed, that just isn't a question anymore. Him overextendeding himself to have his last moments with Miktik, something that should've had *some kind* of real consequence, instead leading both to him being able to increase his power by an order of magnitude, & linking with Guard. He ***always*** succeeds, saving the crows, saving tarin, saving Isthanok, saving all his companions within isthanok during the raid, Ahkelios getting to maintain his sense of self, defeating the abstraction & boss back to back, the previously mentioned Miktik conversation. I praised that chapter because it was heartfelt & genuine & really *earned*, but it feels undercut, just a little to me, that he *gains* power from that stunt instead of his actions actually being detrimental to himself as the chapter framed it. Honestly Miktik's death is the only time within the story I can think of that Ethan actually failed, at all. And even then there was absolutely no way he could've stopped what was happening. Ethan *always* willpowering or lucking out or breaking a new rule of the system that he may or may not have known about at the time to get a victory has made it to where i don't think he can physically lose within the story. Not to say ALL his victories are unwanted, most feel appropriate and make sense, it's just that he (with the one exception of Miktik) only finds victory. Sorry if that was overly wordy or repetitive, i wrote this on mobile & over a bit of time to get my thoughts clear. No hate to you SL, this is something I've been feelings about the series I wanted to talk about. Best wishes for book 4! I'm excited to read to the end none the less.
Joeskine Sabbe
Don't do a burnout! Take a break if you feel you need it!
Conviviacr
Awesome end. I need to actually get around to buying those copies of book 1 for my friends. How is book 1 doing?
Conviviacr
To quote River Song and The Doctor "Spoilers!"
Pete Magnuson
> And a different scary bird lady, but she's not as bird-like. Is this someone I forgot about, or a bit of *spoilers* leaking in from the future 🤔
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