Firingwall
patreon
Cologne of Gator King (Preview)
🕑 Added 2025-05-06 02:54:21 +0000 UTC“Heeeeeyo!” a goofy, hefty voice greeted his ears from the side, “Find sumthing you like dere?”
Jerry turned and flinched. There was a large, wide purple tanuki before with the jolliest of grins on his chubby muzzle. He wore thick, four-fingered white gloves and a t-shirt with a Pokéball on it, several sizes too small for him. His belly popped out from underneath proudly.
How the heck did he miss him when he stepped into the tent? Jerry gulped, clearing his throat and trying his best to be polite. He couldn't handle toons really well. They were always so… extra, to say the least. He'd never seen one at a flea market before too. “H-hi, I, ah…”
The toonuki took his hand and eagerly shook it, the poor human wobbling almost in a blur from it. “Da name is Dan! Saw you were checking out some merch! What did you have your eye on dere?”
“Oh… umm, this thing?” Jerry pointed at the Donkey Kong bottle.
Dan grinned, eyeing the bottle pleasantly. “Now dat's special! For one of da release events of Donkey Kong 64 back in da late 90s, Nintendo had several bottles of cologne made. Dis stuff is super rare since not many people ‘ppreciate da scent dey was goin’ for and got rid of dere's!”
The toonuki looked very proud to know this rare Nintendo lore. Jerry just remained confused. It was just such a strange product, one that he couldn't believe was actually real. Would Nintendo actually license out their character for something like this?
Not helping him feel any less suspicious was all of the other video game merch on the table. Actually taking a look at the other things on display, everything felt so… off. There were Metroid themed garden gloves, Halo spray paint, a plushie of a Hunter from Resident Evil, a Kirby paintball gun, and even a vinyl record of the soundtrack to the first Bubsy video game.
What was this stuff? It couldn't be real.
Dan seemed to be picking up on his disbelief from the look on Jerry's face, since he suddenly said, “Hmmmm, not sure ‘bout dis, eh?”
“Oh! I, ah, it's just-”
“It's fine!” the toon chuckled, his belly jiggling pleasantly. “I's get why you’d be sus. Here's da ding, it's all real! What I’s has here is the greatest, most obscure collection of video game merchandise ever made!”
He playfully nudged Jerry, who was almost knocked over by it. “Could ya believe all of dis was in the back of sum closet of a magic shop? Ain't doin’ anyone any good dere when it can be sold to da fans who’d actually like and appreciate it!”
That didn't really change Jerry's mind. He felt even more suspicious of all of this “merch” if it was in the back of some magic shop. It had to be bootlegs or something similar, right? Chinese knockoffs? Something from south of the border? Probably made in some Toon Town district or the like? It was hard to say.
Still, despite his suspicions, he was curious. His eyes fell back onto that clearish, brown, ape-shaped bottle. He had to wonder what exactly the “official” scent of Donkey Kong could be, or what someone thought Nintendo would think would be the scent of their big primate.
“Sooo, interested?” Dan asked, looking between the bottle and Jerry, “You certainly got an eye on dis!”
“Oh, well… I'm just… curious, is all.”
“Nothing wrong with that!” Another playful nudge from Dan, another big effort by Jerry to stay standing. “Why not have a sniff? Maybe you'll like it!”
