Felixfalck
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Like milk..
🕑 Added 2023-02-19 00:00:02 +0000 UTCStaring up at Kitty was the result of Bitch's throw, a singular dot. It was exactly what Bitch DIDN'T need at this point in time. On the opposite side of the frowning milf there sat a relieved Asian. The gap was closer than ever before, and with Ruby now out it was anyone's game.
"Fuck this stupid game"
Of course she'd be upset. The lead she'd wanted for so long was quickly slipping through her aging fingers. It wouldn't take more than a single good roll for Kitty to overtake her. Hell, even Alice has a shot at making a comeback if this turns into a proper streak of bad luck..
"It could be worse, at least you only landed on a yellow tile.."
It was a futile effort, but that didn't stop Kitty from trying to cheer up her friend. Bitch was however far from appreciative.
"The fuck you mean only a yellow one? Have you SEEN me? The only part of me that's left is my face and hair! And even then I still look like some old hag!"
It was true. Bitch didn't look like herself anymore. Her whole personality had completely flipped, the same could be said for her body. Her hair was shorter and a bit faded, sure, it was however still her usual red. Her face was also hers, though it looked much older and weathered.
"Can you guys, like move it along already?! I have fucking places to be n' stuff!"
The girls all got the nasty reminder that Ruby was still with them. She wasn't the only one that wanted to leave, all the others also wanted her out of there.. The situation was dire enough as it was. Having such negativity and entitlement from someone they didn't even know only served to emphasize the already suspenseful situation.
She had a point though, they wouldn't get to the end of the game by moping around at every roll and card they got. With that in mind, Alice went ahead and read Bitch's next judgement.
What becomes harder with age?
Picking up boys at the plage
Fret not, we've got you covered
Youthfulness now rediscovered!
Do you continue or chicken out?
"The fuck is a plage?"
Of all the disturbing parts to get hung up on, Bitch decided to focus on the one word she'd never heard before.
"It's like a beach or something, right?"
Kitty had heard it once before, though not sure in what context. The explanation did however not help much in aiding Bitch to decipher the card. It mentioned youthfulness. Maybe she'd get younger again? Though it was strictly focused on her face and head. Maybe some fresher hair? Less wrinkles? There were many ways this could unfold, yet only one way to find out.
"I suppose I'll have to continue"
She was far from sobering up, but the lack of a break for replenishments did lead to her running dry at some point during the last round. Hopefully the game would be over soon. When she won, Bitch had dreams of wishing for unlimited cigarettes and booze. The thought of reverting her addictions in the first place didn't even occur to her as she was too far gone already. Asking a lifetime addict to imagine life without their respective addictions is a fruitless venture, at least in Bitch's case..
With her answer locked in it was only a matter of time before the changes made themself evident. And evident they were. Though she'd hoped for a younger face with healthier features, she might as well have received the opposite. Her face filled with botox and injections whose sole purpose was keep the grains of time at bay. Her lips plumped up to the point where it was impossible to mistake them for natural ones. Her face stiffened, and it became increasingly difficult to make any expressions.
Using her phone to catch a glimpse of her new face, Bitch was far from happy. She now looked nothing like her old self. If not for her hair, one wouldn't believe it was even the same, meek girl that she used to be.
Her irritation was short lived though. Looking like a desperate cougar was bad, sure. But there was certainly a market for women like her. Older, enhanced women had a certain charm to them. Picking up boys with kinks for older gals would certainly become easer as those uninterested would filter themselves out of her pool much sooner.
With her mind now drifting back to younger guys, a look of arousal formed on her stiff face.
"Guess it's my turn already then.."
Kitty's heart was pounding. She had the chance of finally grabbing the lead, not to mention Bitch could close out the game in only two rolls if she got lucky.
With nervous fingers the young Asian girl threw the die hoping for a good roll.
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Probably a good few of you that got bamboozled by the title. It was a reference to Bitch aging like milk, not lactation. Though I might visit that idea at a later time as well if there's a wish for it.
Comments
Felixfalck
Don't worry, you didn't come across as either! I very much appreciated your insight and didn't find it neither rude nor aggressive in the slightest!
Carthoris
Apologies if I seemed sort of rude or aggressive with that, I just like to share my thoughts so writers can have a better idea of what their readers are liking and disliking. I mean in the end you should take the story in the direction that you want and are satisfied with as making everyone 100% happy is just an impossibility. And if I really wanted to see things work in a certain way I could always start my own branch and see what happens. That is the beauty of chyoa.
Felixfalck
First of all, thank you for the elaborate and insightful feedback. As the writer I've found it to be difficult at times to put myself in the place of the reader. What makes sense to me at this point doesn't necessarily make sense to the readers yet, or even at all. I'll admit that I'm not entirely satisfied with my handling of Rebecca's departure either. I wasn't initially gonna make the changes as retroactive to her as I did, but ended up with that direction regardless on the basis of her punishment for intervening with the game. My initial idea was for the game to tie a nice ribbon around the character's new identity to make their existence with that identity make sense. I'll probably end up doing the complete opposite for the next branch of Chicken out. As for Alice's arc and the wish in general.. In the original (Source material if you will) story the winning party are brought to a different realm of sorts where they're back to their original body and mind. They're also face to face with their new variant, as well as the game incarnate. While I want to do a similar gig for my endings, I personally think it'd sort of defeat the purpose of being 100% your original self when in the "wish realm" as you'd 10/10 wish everything back to normal if things were as dire as they currently are. Perhaps one would keep a few mundane changes because they're convenient or objectively better than what was originally there, but that'd be about it. They will of course have memories of not only how they used to be themselves, but the other contestants as well. For what I have planned, I imagine the victor to be in the wish realm with their original body, while the conscience of the game inhabits their new, corrupted one. As they're in the wish realm, talking to the admin and mapping out the details of their wish they'll slowly drift into the new corrupted version of themselves. The longer they take to map out the wish, the more it'll be influenced by the effects of the game. In this way I'll be able to experiment with a wide variety of endings (over time). It should also enable characters like Alice to properly inflict whatever mischievous, hate fueled fates upon their "friends" as they want.. The original Alice would certainly not want that. The slightly or completely corrupted one however.. I hope this covers most of what your concerns, especially regarding the ending. If the way "Ruby" was basically deleted from the group of friends was poorly handled or an undesirable outcome I'll take it with me for all future interpretations of the concept^^
Grif end
While i also agree with that we should keep in mind that pehaps the winner would get a glimpse about reality as for what is the point if that's the case it's that someone might lose their motivation. For example the others might had dropped too if Alice chickened out at the early game
Dyamonde
excellent analysis, valid points throughout
Carthoris
Also while I am really enjoying this story and think you're doing a great job I do have one complaint or disappointment if that is a better why to put it. It was how the chickening out was handled. I feel like it kind of defeats the purpose of the wish at the end. Like say with Alice, she wants to use the wish to fuck over all her friends (that may have changed with more recent changes to her but we'll go with that for this example). Because Ruby chickening out cause reality to be completely changed and nobody remembers how it use to be, Alice has no reason or want to fuck her over with her wish. Should Kitty and Bitch chicken out reality will be changed to fit their new selves causing everyone to no longer know each other or even be 'friends'. This would then completely destroy Alices ending arc, wanting to make her friends lives worse with her wish. You could say this same thing with Kitty. She had deduced that she was the only one with enough of her mind intact to use her wish to fix everone. However should Alice and Bitch chicken out it will break her ending too. Everyone would have completely new lives, never having met or become friends. Kitty would no longer have any drive to fix them as this is just how they've always been. Plus she doesn't even know them and would just be confused as to why they are all together. So yeah I felt like it breaks the endings or at least implied endings of the story. Sorry that was long but I wanted to share my thoughts because of how much I've been enjoying your story.
Carthoris
Will admit I got a bit bamboozled with that title.
