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She Lives Here Now - Ch 1 - MC Horror Story

🕑 Added 2017-10-20 00:23:00 +0000 UTC

Comments

Spark

I might just! The fear hasn't fully sunk into poor Leanne just yet but she doesn't entirely realize what's in store for her. I hope you enjoy the future chapters.

JZZY

A very interesting idea. Having someone invade your home and takes away your free will while transforming you into her toy. As always its well written and clearly thought and effort went into to introducing the characters in a way that would not reveal anything useful, keeping the reader guessing. You have kept a lot of mystery to the story. The invaders name is not known, how they accomplish what they do or even what they sound like. They are completely silent treating the reader like an object, most people don’t talk to objects after all. She’s human et slightly off in every way, completely pale skin, soft to touch and warm when she seems deathly cold. There is some kind of link to the two characters as the reader can guess the intention of what the invader is commanding them to do without sound. Yet I find the chapter more creepy than suspenseful or fear inducing. Everything about it should evoke fear. There is a loss of control, public humiliation from being seen by Darla and intimate space violated. Yet because the character never feels fear in this due to the stranger’s powers its not horrifying. At most they seem confused and slightly annoyed. As if this stranger is an inconvenience to their day not something that has just imprisoned them in their own body. I love the idea of the story and I am eager to see what the next chapter holds, the invader has only just arrived what will they do when they have a whole day next? I would recommend reading evil-dolly glow worm story. It’s much more extreme in the transformation than I think you would enjoy but it does capture the feelings of being turned into something else by a powerful being well.