PrincessKay
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The Roommate - Chapter 11
🕑 Added 2019-01-02 02:13:46 +0000 UTChttps://www.dropbox.com/s/zpinagmpvtgwsz4/The%20Roommate%20-%20Chatper%2011.pdf?dl=0
Let's start the new year right with some of The Roommate! This chapter's a ltitle longer than the last two, though still not as big as I"d like. STill, it provides some nice insight into every character's head and I hope you enjoy.
Comments
Spark
*nods* I might need to do a chapter from his perspective and flesh him out some...
Jay
Personally I would perfer to see another view so that Daniel’s character can be more complete but it’s just my criticism. You do you. It’s just that I like your stories too much and i want to provide advice that might help you.
Jay
Since I’m not interested cross dressing stuff so I skipped most chapter 9 and 10( I like mental changes and destruction of handsome muscular boys) but I didn’t see any of Daniels friends that worries about him. It seems like he isolated himself to the outside world or something because “woman stopped flirting, male in the house avoid him” it seems like he has a shallow life which is really really sad.
Jay
Not sure if I like it. The character development seems pretty weak here because from what you portrayed it seems like Daniel has absolutely no friends. The obvious changes of his chest and bum and no one seems to question them( or u haven’t wrote/that would be next chapter) also, as a male, penis size really do matter, if it’s noticeable change then he should question or struggle or even question Rebecca’s food. Idk, I really like the previous chapters, it’s just that this chapter lacks a lot of things from Daniels perspective.
