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The Fox of France - Chapter 541
🕑 Added 2024-05-07 00:14:02 +0000 UTCChapter 541: The Peace of Our Time
"Yes, for Simon, this document was indeed 'friendlier.' The French had even generously promised to provide a substantial sum of money to Britain to restore its economy after the war ended.
Of course, Simon was no fool; he could tell that this was a poisoned chalice, or in the French customary terms, a sugar-coated bomb. This funding was not without strings attached, no cost, no demands. As a great man once said: 'Fishing for the eager, those who wish to eat the tempting bait will end up with stomach pain!'
The use of this funding would have to be under French supervision, which was reasonable; Britain must implement reforms that meet the French criteria, even to the extent that if they accepted this 'tempting bait' of French aid, the British government would even lose the power to set its fiscal budget, as the method of budgeting must meet the French requirements to receive the 'tempting bait.'
'Finance is the mother of all policies.' This was a basic truth known by every senior British bureaucrat. In fact, all the struggles between the state machinery of the United Kingdom, whether between Parliament and the king, the Whigs and the Tories, or among the various government departments... all these struggles revolved around the fiscal budget.
Now, once accepting the French 'aid,' this supreme struggle would suddenly see a supreme arbiter appear. Although according to the terms, this arbiter was not an 'all-powerful father in heaven,' he merely had the power of veto.
But having the veto power was already decisive. Imagine, if in a football match, you encounter a referee whose principle is: if I say it's not a foul, it isn't a foul, even if he kicks you in the head while you’re down; if I say the goal is invalid, then it's invalid, no matter how you scored, even if you dribbled from your own goal line all the way into the opponent's goal; whether you are the Spanish or Italian team, if I say you're eliminated, then you're eliminated, even if your opponents are a minor team.
Once the French possessed such power, the entire British government, everything that depended on financial support to survive, from the army to the police, from the courts to the prisons, their main concern would become pleasing the French. Because only by pleasing the French could they secure the budget they needed.
Thus, as soon as they accepted this assistance, the entire British government would essentially become a subsidiary department of the French government. 'Tempting bait,' consuming it was not just about stomach pain—it was about being possessed. But, could the United Kingdom really afford to refuse this assistance now?
Refusing the aid, the consequences were very clear. Many rebels had connections with the French—something the French themselves made no secret of. This was a substantial amount of money; if the UK government didn't want it, would the rebels not want it either? In today's Britain, anyone who could bring out such a sum of money, just waving the French checkbook like waving a large flag, those hungry soldiers, those starving policemen, those spies struggling to feed their wives and children, would not hesitate to abandon the United Kingdom and flock to his banner, then drag out the guillotine captured by the British in Toulon, and set it up in the Tower of London, starting with the king, send all those with noble titles—even just a knighthood—into a long queue, one after another to the guillotine. Whenever a noble head fell, the mob watching would erupt in thunderous cheers. The heads of the king and the prince would be mounted on spears, paraded through the streets of London, the crowd following this terrifying spear, cheering joyously as if at a carnival.
In London, every lamp post would hang a head, below it a paper listing their crimes: 'Vampire,' 'Enemy of the People,' 'Aristocrat'... Children would run underneath, singing cheerily in English a song from France: 'It'll be fine, it'll be fine... the aristocrats are hanging from the lamp posts...'
'This is truly terrifying!' Even just imagining such a scenario, Simon couldn't help shivering, breaking into a cold sweat, even tears uncontrollably flowing down.
'We cannot let the United Kingdom fall into such a state, so, even if it is poisoned wine, we still have to drink it. If we don't drink, we die; if we drink, I don't know who will die, but at least I won't be fluttering on a lamppost.'
But Simon still wanted to try his best to secure more for the United Kingdom.
So, when he met with Talleyrand again, he expressed that in principle, he agreed with the basic concept of the memorandum, believing that under such guidance, Britain and France could overcome all misunderstandings and misfortunes and become progressing brothers hand in hand.
Of course
, there were still some minor issues, such as the various restrictions on the British government's budget included in the French aid.
'Of course, since the misunderstanding has been cleared and the war is over, it is natural to downsize the overly large military, but to reduce the entire British army to under thirty thousand men, and to limit the navy to only have armored cruisers, isn't that too... Minister, you know, the military has a significant say in the government, cutting their budget so much will bring us a lot of resistance.'
'Ah, my friend, I thought only an invincible army could pressure the government. Besides, your thinking is trapped in old ways. We are not necessarily hurting the interests of those military leaders. Indeed, the army size must be reduced to below thirty thousand, but we haven't specified how many soldiers and officers are in these thirty thousand. Even if all thirty thousand are generals, even if there are more generals than cannons, that's not a problem.'
'Such absurd things, the people will not accept.' Simon said.
'Ah, if the people don't accept, then your explanation work is not adequate. So, you see, in many cases, you British still have a lot to learn.' Talleyrand replied with a smile, 'For instance, you could tell them, maintaining too many troops in peacetime consumes a lot of wealth, affecting everyone's living standards. If only the skeleton of the army is retained in peacetime, that is, the organization and officers, a lot of money can be saved, and with the organization and officers still in place, the army can be rapidly expanded when necessary. Isn't that an explanation? They get taxed less, but the army is still usable. What else would they be dissatisfied with?
Moreover, this way, the number of the military can be reduced, but all the organizations are still there, the number of officers can still be maintained, although the military budget is greatly reduced, because there are no more rank and file soldiers, what can be allocated to each officer is actually more. Isn't this a good thing for the military? As long as you can explain the benefits and reasons to them clearly, how could they oppose something that is beneficial for the country?'
'As for the navy... first of all, the navy is very costly. If your country insists on spending a lot of money to build battleships, then who are they imagined to fight against? As for opposition from the navy. If the army can stand with the government, what's so difficult about dealing with their opposition? Besides, if there really are such outdated fellows in the navy, then by charging them with the crime of unsuccessful operations, throw these guys into prison first, right? I think, his successor would definitely be much smarter. Moreover, like the army, the navy can be reduced, but the organization remains the same, isn't it the same?'
When Talleyrand said this, he didn't know that, in the original history, many years later, the once ruling oceans British Royal Navy had fallen to just six destroyers. But even in such a situation, my great British Navy still maintained the organization of many long-gone fleets.
For instance, the 'Yangtze River Fleet' that was driven out of the Yangtze River after the 'Amethyst Incident,' was maintained in the organization of the Royal Navy into the twenty-first century, with all its various officers, such as fleet commander, deputy commander, chief of staff, deputy chief of staff, etc. This was normal, after all, the British Empire has its own national conditions. The British Army already had more generals than tanks. My great British Navy's generals certainly couldn't be less than the army's fools. But the British Navy's ships were too few, it's not like the generals could just hang up a machinist's job. Thus, similar 'spiritual' organizations like the 'Yangtze River Fleet' could be put to use. Thus some commanders of the British Navy had fewer ships and soldiers under their command than the Mongolian Navy under the Seven Warlords of the Sea.
But Simon still had some doubts, so he said: 'But you also know, we have some unstable elements within our country, if the military is this small, what if they rebel?'
'We've calculated that your army, retaining the current organization of officers, should still have a force of more than ten thousand capable soldiers, considering the good progress of your railways these years, the army's rapid mobility is quite strong, we think, a rapid response force of ten thousand is already sufficient to handle such a situation.' Talleyrand answered.
'But...' Simon still wanted to speak, but then he shut up. Theoretically, there could still be more than ten thousand capable soldiers left. Theoretically, these forces were indeed enough. But, but this was all theoretically. In practice, it was another matter altogether.
For instance, restoring the military, dismissing so many people, but
Chapter 541, Peace of Our Time
Yes, for Simone, this document was indeed "friendly" enough. The French even made generous promises to provide a huge sum of money to Britain after the war to restore its economy.
Of course, Simone wasn't a fool; he could see this was a poisoned chalice, or as the French would say, a sugar-coated shell. This funding wasn't without strings attached. To use this money, Britain had to be supervised by the French, which was reasonable enough; domestically, Britain had to undergo reforms according to French demands. Even if they accepted French aid, the British government would lose its authority to set its own budget, as the budget had to comply with French requirements to receive any aid.
"Finance is the foundation of all government." This was a basic principle known to every British bureaucrat. In fact, all the struggles within the United Kingdom, whether between Parliament and the King, the Whigs and the Tories, or among government departments... all revolved around budgetary struggles.
Now, once they accepted this "aid," an ultimate arbiter would suddenly emerge in this supreme struggle. While not an all-powerful authority like "our heavenly father," this arbiter had veto power.
However, having veto power was decisive. Imagine during a football match encountering a referee whose principle was: "If I say it's not a foul, it's not a foul," even if he directly kicked your head while you lay on the ground; "If I say the goal doesn't count, it doesn't count," even if you dribbled from your own goal line into the opponent's net; "Whether you're Spain or Italy, if I say you're out, you're out," even if your opponent is just some mediocre team.
Once the French possessed this power, the entire British government, everything dependent on financial support to survive, from the military to the police, from the courts to the prisons, would have to please the French. Because only by pleasing the French could they get the scraps from their table.
So once they accepted this aid, the entire British government would become a subordinate department of the French government. Taking this aid wasn't just a stomachache; it was being possessed. But could the United Kingdom really refuse this aid?
The consequences of refusing were clear. Many rebel factions had connections to the French—something the French themselves didn't hide. This was a considerable amount of money; if the British government rejected it, would the rebel factions do the same? In today's Britain, anyone who could produce such a sum, just by waving the French's checkbook like a flag, would make those soldiers who couldn't eat their fill, those policemen with hungry bellies, those spies who couldn't feed their wives and children, all desert the United Kingdom without hesitation and flock to their banner. Then they would drag out the guillotine captured by the British in Toulon from the museum, set it up in the Tower of London, and starting from the king, line up all those with noble titles—even if it was just a knighthood—in a long queue and send them up the guillotine one by one. Every time a noble head fell, the cheering mob would erupt in thunderous applause. They would impale the heads of the king and the crown prince on spears and parade them through the streets of London, the crowd following behind this terrifying spear, rejoicing and cheering as if it were a carnival.
Every lamppost in London would hang a head with a paper beneath it listing their crimes: "Bloodsucker," "People's enemy," "Aristocrat"... Children would run past, singing a cheerful French song in English: "It will be fine, it will be fine... Aristocrats are all hanging from the lampposts..."
"This is terrifying!" Even just imagining such a scenario made Simone shudder, cold sweat dripping, and tears uncontrollably streaming down.
"We must not let the United Kingdom descend to such a state, so, even if it's poison, we can only drink it. Not drinking it means we die; drinking it, I don't know who dies, but at least I won't be fluttering on the lamppost in the wind."
But Simone still wanted to try his best to fight for a little more for the United Kingdom.
So when he met Talleyrand again, he expressed to him that, in principle, he agreed with the basic ideas in the memorandum. He believed that under the guidance of such ideas, Britain and France could overcome all misunderstandings and misfortunes and become brotherly nations advancing together.
Of course, there were still some minor issues, such as the various restrictions attached to the French aid to the British government budget.
"Of course, since misunderstandings have been cleared up and the war has ended, it's only natural to reduce the size of the military, but compressing the entire British army to under thirty thousand and limiting the navy to only having armored cruisers, isn't that a bit... Minister, you know, the military has a significant say in the government, and cutting their budget so much will bring us a lot of resistance."
"Ah, my friend, I thought only an invincible army could pressure the government. Besides, your thinking is constrained by past paradigms. We don't necessarily have to harm the interests of those military leaders. Indeed, reducing the army size to under thirty thousand is necessary, but we didn't specify how many soldiers and officers would be in those thirty thousand. Even if all thirty thousand are generals, even if there are more generals than cannons, that's not a problem."
"Such absurdity won't be accepted by the people," Simone said.
"Ah, if the people don't accept it, it must be because your explanation isn't sufficient. So, in many things, you Britons still need to learn. For example, you can tell them that keeping too many troops in peacetime will consume a lot of wealth, which will affect everyone's standard of living. If only the framework of the military is retained, that is, the establishment and officers, much money can be saved. Moreover, if there's a need to expand the army later, it can quickly be replenished under this framework. Isn't this explanation enough? They pay less tax, but the military is still available. What else could they be dissatisfied with?
Furthermore, by compressing the army's size, all the framework remains, and there will be more available for each officer, even though the military budget has been significantly reduced. This is actually beneficial for the military. As long as you can explain the interests and reasons clearly to them, how could they oppose something so beneficial to the country?
As for the navy... Firstly, the navy is very costly. If your country insists on spending a lot of money building battleships, who is the imaginary enemy? As for opposition from the navy, if the army can stand with the government, their opposition is not difficult to handle. Furthermore, if there are really some fools in the navy who don't understand the situation, then they can be dealt with by holding them accountable for poor combat performance and throwing them into prison. I believe their successors will be much smarter. Furthermore, just like the army, the navy's size can be compressed, but the establishment remains the same, isn't this the same? "
While saying this, Talleyrand
did not know that many years later in history, the once mighty Royal Navy of Great Britain would fall to just six destroyers. But even then, the great British Navy maintained the organization of many fleets that no longer existed.
For example, the "Yangtze River Fleet" that was driven out of the Yangtze River after the "Amethyst Incident" was maintained in the Royal Navy's organization into the twenty-first century, including various officers such as fleet commanders, deputy commanders, chiefs of staff, and deputy chiefs of staff. This is normal, after all, the British Empire has its own national conditions. The British Army had more generals than tanks. The great British Navy's generals certainly couldn't be fewer than those of the army. But the British Navy's ships were too few, so it was impractical to assign generals mundane roles. Therefore, such "ghostly" organizations like the "Yangtze River Fleet" proved useful. Thus, some commanders in the British Navy, though having fewer ships and soldiers under their command than the Mongolian Navy under the Seven Warlords of the Sea, still held their titles.
However, Simone still harbored some doubts, so he said, "But you also know, we have some unstable elements within our country. If the military is this small, what happens if they rebel?"
"We have calculated that your army, retaining the current officer organization, should still have a force of over ten thousand capable soldiers. Considering the advancements you've made in railways in recent years, the army's rapid mobility is quite strong. We think a rapid response force of ten thousand is sufficient to handle such situations," Talleyrand responded.
"But..." Simone started to object but then hesitated. Theoretically, there could still be over ten thousand capable soldiers. Theoretically, this force was indeed sufficient. But that was all theoretical. In practice, it was another matter.
For instance, the army needed to be restructured, and many people needed to be dismissed, which was a significant task. Shouldn't such an important task warrant the creation of a special body to handle it? For example, establishing a "Military Downsizing Commission" to oversee this task.
The members of the "Military Downsizing Commission" would naturally be officials, some military officers, and others, government civilians. Their expenses would naturally come out of the military budget. Theoretically, this was a temporary organization that would be disbanded once the task was completed. But in practice, when had any "temporary" institution in the United Kingdom ever been temporary? Considering the personnel this temporary body would require, how many positions would ultimately remain for the combat troops was anyone's guess.
But such things were too embarrassing to say aloud, so Simone really couldn't bring himself to voice them. After all, although he was a career diplomat, and diplomacy often involves a certain lack of scruples, there were limits. In this regard, Simone and a certain diplomat from a later era in the Lighthouse Country, who publicly glorified lying, deceiving, and stealing as virtues of progress, were not on the same level. ("A certain virtue of progress: What does this have to do with me? Well, let's work hard together and take down Huawei!")
So, the military issue was smoothly resolved. Then there were other details. Since it was already decided to seek glory through betrayal, the most important thing was to get a good price for it. Before coming out, the UK had already established a basic bottom line for these negotiations: protect the kingdom, not necessarily Great Britain.
Theoretically, "Great Britain" and "the kingdom" were different concepts. Great Britain could be the United Kingdom, but it could also be a United Republic, or even, if the revolution went well, a Soviet Union. Ah, no, that would be a Soviet Love Union.
But whether it was a United Republic or a Soviet Love Union, there was no place for the aristocracy. So, at this point, the interests of Great Britain and the kingdom had diverged. The kingdom must decisively lean towards France to continue ruling over Great Britain.
Since this attitude was maintained, there were no longer any real insurmountable issues between the two sides. Thus, in a friendly and cordial atmosphere, they discussed the new memorandum's details proposed by French Foreign Minister Talleyrand, reached a broad consensus, and finally, both sides signed the memorandum, indicating their "willing agreement."
Then Simone, carrying the new memorandum, rushed back to London urgently, delivering this memorandum to the Prince Regent and the Earl of Liverpool for review.
When Simone arrived in London, it was already late at night, but the Prince Regent still ordered him to immediately bring the memorandum to Buckingham Palace to report on his work.
Upon entering Buckingham Palace, a servant greeted him. The servant led him into the sitting room, where Simone saw the Prince Regent and Prime Minister Earl of Liverpool already waiting.
"How did it go? What have you brought back?" the Prince Regent asked, his tone and expression like a prisoner inquiring about his sentence from the court. It was a mix of fear and anticipation.
"Peace," Simone replied, "Your Highness, Prime Minister, I have brought back the peace of our time."
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