zeroero
patreon
I just want to rant
🕑 Added 2025-07-05 11:35:44 +0000 UTCI've been posting many drawings on my old Pixiv account(now banned) or Twitter for years. For most of the time, I'm fine with my progress, getting likes, views, or comments slowly. But lately I feel not enough, I feel too slow, my progress doesn't feel moving forward. I start comparing myself to others.
I'm jealous, incredibly jealous. I see so many artists getting tons of views and likes, and I barely get any myself. People said my drawing is good, but good is not enough if no one sees it, then it is meaningless. Every time I feel this, I feel bad. Others are probably working hard behind it, too.
It becomes a downward spiral of jealousy and self-hatred: "Maybe I have no skill," "Maybe it's time to stop." "Why does she/he get more recognition? I'm drawing as good as them." I hate those feelings. I want to be myself, but at the same time, I want to be like others. I want to be seen.
Originally, I wanted to post this on Twitter, but I don't want people to think I'm trying to get pity points. I still want people to recognize me because of my drawings, I want to be liked for what I made, and not because of pity.
And that's it, I just want to rant. I'm not quitting drawing, I love drawing, and will continue drawing for years till I die. I just want to release this toxic feeling.
Thank you for all of your support! I may be slow, but please bear with me.
Comments
ZeroEro
Thank you! I'm always trying to keep myself in balance, but nowadays I feel like something needs to be sacrificed if I want to get recognized, either my health or my time with family and friends.
TechnoGhost2124
I'm sure it does suck to have these feelings but I hope you understand these sites care the most about keeping a steady flow of money coming through. They prioritize having a rules set to not drive away the big payment corporations. They also prioritize keeping a near constant flow of art that is very detrimental to so many artist which is why most artist will also make little posts of other things in their life to feed that normalcy of "being alive". So many artist will pop out art at speeds that can damage not only their mental state of coming up with ideas but also their physical state staying glued to a bright screen, not stretching, or forgetting to eat/rest which may lead to things like burnout or even worse arthritis/rsi/back pains. I'm sure you won't always get rid of these feelings but understand that you aren't worse than those that pump out art on a daily or weekly level. You have your own pace and your own way of doing things that's just not to these sites liking. I can't really tell you the best solution but try to find a spot where you can have your stuff always be available, crosspost where you can, maybe throw a peek here and there of old stuff to entice people to see your new stuff that's pay walled and maybe just tell people that you can't always post constantly and remind them of your upcoming projects. Maybe tell them you have a scheduled project done like every 2-4 so come back and check. Every artist feels a little jealous of someone but don't let it consume the part where you feel bad you aren't posting art every second of your life artists weren't made to create so much at such quick speeds. But if you wanna get faster you'll have to figure out the balance of speed and quality youre fine with showing people. I wish you the best and hope you'll be ok Zero π«
