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Right to a Bear's Arms, Ch. 4
🕑 Added 2022-08-16 16:55:47 +0000 UTCIt was not cold out, but a light breeze still filled the air, heralding the continuance of a brisk and healthy spring season. As it ever was around this time, the gym's jogging track was shrouded in a light mist that came up from a distant, sparkling lake that the trails looped around at various intersecting points. Kelin had thrown on a sleeveless hoodie jacket over his tanktop, if only to keep himself from getting too cold since he wouldn't be running. He shielded his eyes a bit from the bright sunshine as it peaked through the scattered cloud coverage, and then grinned up at Hera as she stood in the entranceway. He saw her fur ripple slightly in the breeze, her ears alert and nose twitching. It had the habit of making her lips quiver ever so slightly every time she seemed to catch a new scent, the muzzle pointing itself in the new direction and snuffling even while her head remained perfectly still.
He couldn't really tell, since he wasn't as accustomed to her rather mellow personality and mannerisms, but she seemed happy now that she was outside. Her long, silver-colored hair caught the sunlight in the most glorious of ways and her eyes sparkled as she looked out across the stretch of natural woodlands. Dark, paved walkways wandered here and there through the trees, barely occupied at the moment save for a few Anthros and none close at all. She glanced down at him after several minutes of taking in the scenery and he made a sweeping gesture with his arm, smiling despite himself. He felt foolish but okay doing so. Her response was a long, slow blink, but somehow it seemed perfectly dainty and fitting to his more exuberant style.
Her crutches settled into a soft clicking rhythm as they slowly made their way down the concrete steps and across the paved path towards the darker asphalt of the trails. A sign nearby read, "Welcome to the Bear Arms natural forest jogging track and park! Please be mindful of others during your stay, do not feed the wildlife, and smile! You are on candid camera!" A cartoonishly styled bear was featured on the billboard next to each point, smiling, winking, and walking purposefully as it detailed the length of each trail and gave a numerical equivalent for how intense it was.
Chuckling, he couldn't help but look away sheepishly from the cartoony bear as Hera leaned down to read the rules as well. He heard her sniff once and, trying to maintain his composure, he glanced up at her to see an annoyed expression on her face. "Cute, aint it?" he asked, voice ambiguous.
She grunted. "Area is nice, but logo is silly. Something my uncle Sergei would do if he owned gym. Even name is pun. As if having bear arms is cute." She glanced at her own arm and flexed it, boulders of toned muscle bunching and cording together beneath the thick fur.
He blushed a bit and coughed, looking away and hiding his growing smirk. "Maybe it's more to have something to aspire to for other people and breeds," he said calmly. "I'd kill to be that built."
"Would look ridiculous on you," she countered and he winced; that took some of the wind out of his sails. She began clicking away down the trail, and then glanced back, that playful twinkle in her eyes. It didn't take away from how cold and distant her eyes remained, but he recognized that she was teasing him again. He felt himself grinning sheepishly again at being played and he hurried after her to catch up.
"You saying that humans can't be that jacked?" he asked playfully in return. "I've seen a few professional lifters that might be able to out-bulk you, except for the height and unfair advantage you have."
She nodded along, still smirking and flashing her teeth at him. It was still intimidating but he didn't think that she meant it entirely to be so. He suspected if she ever did mean to show her fangs, it would have been like earlier with the Doberman trainer, and he would be running as fast as he could to get away. "Would never say that," she said succinctly. "But your build, skinny like pop star, and tall, for human. Big arms and muscles on you... would look silly I think. Fine as you are, would bet others are telling you this."
Blushing, he chuckled and kept his eyes on the surrounding trees. They were already out of sight of the entrance to the path, dark shadows hanging everywhere but lit sporadically by sunlight that filtered in through the treetops above. The path was well maintained but still just covered enough by various pine nettles and leaves that it seemed entirely natural. The air was crisp and vibrant. He liked coming out here the most out of everything in the gym.
"You're being far too flattering," he said back at her, pretending as if he didn't really pay much mind to what she said for now. "But thank you, regardless." He tried to control his flushed face and focus on the cool air surrounding them. "You're also quite impressive. I haven't met many Ursid but they've always fascinated me. All Anthros do really, I can't help but be envious of how easily you all can get into shape and bulk up compared to humans. I work hard to keep my figure up, while still balancing school and such."
She seemed to just take in his voice and clicked along beside him at a sedate, long-limbed pace that made him half to walk a bit faster than he would have normally to keep up but it wasn't strenuous. She was much more interested, other than just listening, in looking around and appreciating the sounds of nature; the sounds of bird calls, rustling of leaves, and the occasional whisper of the breeze all accentuated by the shadowy trail they walked down. It was peaceful, more so than he could have remembered ever experiencing himself. He felt almost bad for talking and shut his mouth, set on just enjoying this walk with her.
A few minutes later however, he heard her grunt and he glanced up. She had fallen behind, panting softly, and leaning on her crutches a bit more than she had been. He felt suddenly horrible, and he hurried back towards her. "Sorry, I completely forgot about..." he said and then when she met his eyes, he clammed up. Drawing attention to something that she was struggling with wasn't going to make her feel better. "Can you keep going?"
She rose up to more of her natural height stiffly, looking as if he had challenged her somehow. "I can," she grunted. "On best days, would run you into the ground without breaking sweat." Her eyes flashed as if she was trying to challenge him right back.
Grinning, he just chuckled. "I have absolutely no doubt about that," he told her and then continued walking as soon as she had caught up with him. He knew she was putting on a brave face to not appear weak, not for his opinion of her he knew but the one she had for herself. Her pride wouldn't allow her to be weak, especially not weaker than a Human. It wasn't as if she looked down upon him, maybe at him but with over two feet of height difference, that was a given, but she was most likely used to, and depended on, the strength she normally possessed. Many times, veterans like her took the blow hardest when, while recovering from the mental anguish and trauma, their bodies couldn't return to a normal rhythm to at least distract themselves from the pain and sadness. That was how his uncle Rolf had been.
His cousins, Erik and Cory, had tried their best to include their father in all their usual horsing around and rough-house tactics; working in the forge, basketball, even wrestling. But Rolf had been unable to keep up and thus fallen into a dark spiral from which no one of the energetic household had seemingly known how to help him recover from. But Kelin did. When all of life seemed to be speeding by and one was not able to keep up, sometimes the best possible way to cope and heal was to slow down themselves and just appreciate the moment. And he spotted a way to do just that for this Ursid woman.
"Hey, I wanna show you something!" he announced as they continued their sedate, clicking on her part, pace down the trail. The gym was firmly out of sight now, nothing but trees, leaves, and the rustle of woodland life all around them. She glanced down at him, seeming curious but wary. He gave her a cheeky grin and pointed up ahead just as they were rounding a curve. "There's a bench just up ahead," he explained, knowing exactly where it would be.
She immediately seemed to tense up, brow furrowing and lip rolling back in annoyance; no doubt she thought he was coddling her. Instead, he increased his speed. He glanced back at her once, noting the surprised blink she pulled, to then be replaced by a stubborn scowl as she hurried along after him.
Sure enough, as they rounded the bend and climbed a slight but gentle incline in the trail, there it was. Sturdily made, the black bench had a good view of the surrounding trees, kept mostly clean of the forest's presence but still covered by a couple leaves that he swept off so that she could sit. He gestured to it grandly, as if having prepared a luscious padded throne for her to sit on. She rolled her eyes, panting, but didn't refuse his offer for a seat. He remained standing, feeling awkward despite his forced bravado and playful attitude. She took up a good deal of the seat, and sitting next to her would have had their hips close to touching.
She met his eyes and raised an eyebrow, seeming confused as to why he hadn't sat down himself. "You were to show me something, little Kelin?" she growled out. She nodded at the spot next to her, not a request and more of a declaration that if she was to sit down, he would as well.
Grinning, perhaps just a bit less confidently, he shrugged, playing it off as stretching first which he knew she wouldn't buy, and sat down as gently as he could. He tried to give her room but as he had thought, his hip was firmly pressed up against her own, her fluffy fur grazing him every so often. He focused on the trees ahead of them, watching a squirrel race up a tall pine.
They sat like that for several seconds before Hera shifted in the seat next to him. "What am I to be looking at?" she asked again. It was obvious she hadn't wanted to stop walking, even if she needed it. He could see her leg trembling from here.
With supreme nonchalance, Kelin crossed his arms behind the back of his head and leaned back against the bench, looking straight up at the sky. "Just do what I do," he instructed her. She snorted once, obviously not impressed or amused. He flashed her a look. "Won't take but a minute, promise."
Rolling her golden eyes, the Ursid amazon laid her crutches against the arm of the bench on her side and then, stretching out her injured leg with a relieved, if suppressed sigh, leaned her head back to lay atop the bench. They stared up at the view of the sky above them, framed by trees in an almost perfect circle. It was one of the only uncovered spots on the trail so far, the branches rustling on the fringes of that orb of bright blue.
Clouds trailed by overhead, wispy trails and fluffy bodies being slowly gusted along on hidden zephyrs that were the tiny, cool breezes they both felt down on the Earth. The same wind caused the leaves and pine needles of the forest to rustle ever so softly in the background. A bird chirped, singing its bright song of morning glory for all the world to hear. Leaves blew along the path as if dancing.
It was the perfect ambience. He often came here just to do this at the end of a workout, appreciating the pure, rustic woodland beauty. He smiled, the cold not bothering him at all, just happy to share in the company of this exotic, beautiful, powerhouse if lonely woman in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, it was helping her.
Kelin felt her give out a long huffing breath and she reclined against the back more, the metal creaking only a little bit. He looked up, seeing that she was still looking straight up at the canopy and the sky above, just as single, lone sunbeam broke through the clouds and illuminated her. His eyes widened in sudden and growing wonder. Life was all about slowing down the frantic rush one lived by. It was taking the time to appreciate the simple, the wonderful, and the beautiful that often went by so often unobserved in the furor of everyday life. And Kelin had never seen anyone as beautiful as Hera in his life. No one, not movie stars, not celebrities or super models, could approach the level of awe-inspiring beauty she emitted and embodied right then.
She looked...radiant, the breeze tickling her fur and brushing it here and there, her long hair wafting slowly side to side. The sunlight made her silvery tresses, her snow-white fur, even the black tips of her ears not just appear brighter but glow, as if she were emitting her own light right then. And she was smiling. It was not a big expression, not a teasing smirk or amused grin, but it was there.
Her eyes were soft and completely round, black lips upon her muzzle parted just a hair and exposing the tips of her long teeth in the gentlest of amazed twinkles. Her golden eyes were as bright, shining suns all on their own. He looked away before he could be caught staring, the chill of the trail replaced by an all-consuming warmth that came from inside of him and burned his face so much that he worried he might catch fire. He returned to matching her gaze up at the sky, more happy and content right then than he had been in a long time. They let several long minutes go on past them without saying a word. It all seemed so perfect...
Eventually, Hera spoke. Her voice was softer now, less harsh and challenging. "You were right," she rumbled. "This is...wonderful..." Then her fur seemed to fluff up slightly as he glanced at her, ears pinning themselves down against her head. He wasn't as familiar with Anthro body language as he might have liked but she seemed almost embarrassed. Or blushing. He couldn't help but feel like that was somehow incredibly adorable, that someone so strong and confident in themselves, if cold, could get flustered like he did so often. "I...appreciate you showing me this."
"Not a problem at all," he hummed over at her. "Tyr is a god of the sky."
There was a short quiet before Hera spoke up again. "Who is...Tyr?"
Kelin blinked, then laughed, trying to hide the rush of heat to his cheeks. He wasn't back at home anymore after all. Then he glanced away from that perfect sapphire orb dotted with silvery white clouds and resting in the leafy fingers of a Giant. "Tyr is a...God. One of the Gods; not the big hauncho but sort of a...dependable soldier, a valiant knight, or trustworthy companion." He realized he was already babbling. Apparently he really was inheriting his father's gift for gab, especially about their heritage.
Beside him, Hera almost looked...pondering. "But...thought there was only one Human God."
Chuckling still, Kelin thought out how best to answer her. He was used to that kind of reaction from Humans, but from an Anthro, he genuinely could understand the confusion. "According...to some. The people I'm descended from believe in something very different. We're happy to let them go on about what they say happened, and we do the same with ours. Pagans proud, Leod's loud." Mirroring his mother, he clenched a fist. Repeating the family mantra was...so refreshing, reminding him of everyone back home. He felt...so far away.
There was another short, heavily laden silence, before Kelin glanced up at Hera. To his surprise, she was glancing down at him in seemingly genuine interest. Not even her hardened shell of sullenness could dampen the kind of curiosity burning in those bright, golden eyes. The intensity of it was almost alarming and yet at the same time, incredibly enthralling.
"Did...you want me to go on?" he asked, to which she nodded firmly. Actually nodded. All right then. "Well...Tyr is one of the Aesir, the Gods who dwell in the realm of Asgard. There's lots of Gods; gods of fire, lightning, sailing, you name it. There is probably some Norse god that represents it. The most important God though is Odin, the All-Father.
He leads the Gods of Asgard and is the God King of all his kind. He also rules over the mythical drinking hall, Valhalla, where fallen warriors and heroes go to after they die. There, they will sing, drink, eat late into the night, and in the morning rise and do battle on the golden fields outside. When the fighting ceased, the fallen would rise again, and all would return to Valhalla, to live as only dead men may as they await the call for the last war: Ragnarok.
It's caused by~"
To Kelin's utter delight, Hera took it all in, never-seemingly grown bored or overwhelmed. She simply sat and listened as he poured out his mythology, culture, and heritage with a proud, respectful but also comically selfaware about how ridiculous some of it sounded He even grew so comfortable to, mention, even partly the reason for coming to Arknought for their offer of scholarship: to study and learn the cultures of others. Specifically, Anthros. Her smile was small, very small, but the way her eyes sparkled, it was like watching a fireworks show.
When finally his ragged throat forced his mouth to close and to gasp a breath or two, Kelin panted and grinned. "And don't get me started on the Goat thing..." he chuckled, sounding and feeling breathless.
There was a sound then, like no sound Kelin had ever heard. It was short, barely a whisper if that, two short noises back to back. He looked up immediately to its source, and there he saw it. The echoes of that quiet, almost girlish little giggle had not yet faded completely from her features.. It betrayed her; behind all that gruffness, the intimidating Ursid energy, even her pain, he saw a glimpse of the woman she might just be inside.
More so than even before, he saw just how beautiful Hera was. It was like life slowed down just for those spare moments, allowing him to appreciate every single little way he got to experience it. The tiny little shake of her head, the brushing of her hair with a paw, the way she looked away from him when she did it, but not super far away, as to signify it was solely done to humor him. If he knew anything about girls, and coming from a direct family of a mother and a younger sister he knew a bit more than maybe some, Hera had just actually giggled. And by all the Gods was it cute!
Then at long last, her eyes flashed back to his face and he ceased his, most assuredly, creepy ass staring. The smile had faded a little from her face but not her gaze. Wary yet surprised, if not put off by actual kindness. She suspected pain from somewhere, but at that moment she seemed to genuinely be interested in talking to him.
It was something in her body language, or perhaps in the Body Language of all Anthros. More than the words they spoke, Anthros communicated by all sorts of much more subtle social queues. An Anthro could know about a person from a good distance off based entirely on how they stood or sat. They were both an incredibly expressive people but also an extremely unexpressive one at the same time.
Humans weren't used to that kind of socializing; most humans just wanted to get away from one another as fast as possible. Kelin had to admit; those psychology teachers and books at the University were not inaccurate. He felt grateful to having taken them and paid such close attention. If he was going to live here, he was going to be as respectful as possible.
Again he forced his mind to return to the present. He arrived just in time to hear Hera having just finished mumbling, "...your stories sound very interesting." He blinked in confusion for a second, trying to play catch up.
Pay attention to THIS social queue, idiot! Anthros talk too! Her voice is hot; pay attention to it!
Apparently Hera mistook his silence and more intense gaze for having caused offense, and she was quick to wave a paw. "Not that I am condescending to Kelin's religion by calling them stories."
He beamed up at her, seemingly and immediately putting her mind at ease. "It's all right; they are good stories. We could be full of crap and be totally wrong, but we're going to believe this way anyway."
Sure enough, there it was again. Three giggles this time. Kelin, my boy, we are now going to bet he funniest, charmingest, guy ever. Because that laugh is divine and I haven't gotten enough of hearing it.
"I am sure," she chuckled, barely but it was there. "That so much passion for one's roots could ever be full of the crap." She settled back to looking up at the sky again. If at peace was a look, she was very close to it. "Asa-tro" she sounded it out deliberately. "... is very similar to our Anthro way of faith, the Spirits."
He beamed, eager to learn more about the elusive but so often mentioned phrase. The Spirits. They were everywhere in Anthro culture; mentioned in casual conversation, sung about in songs, eluded to by deliberate paw-signs, gestures, and simple words of affirmation of their existence. It was a faith more pervasive than Christianity, but with none of the hypocrisy he was used to seeing from the more extremists.
"Yeah?" he inquired. "Would...you be willing to tell me a little about them?"
She gazed up at the sky, eyes narrowing, deep in thought. Rather than like him, spewing out gobs of information in a barely cohesive narrative, she was selecting her words with care; a ponderance that only Anthros seemed to really be capable of. Rumors of them being slow infuriated Kelin, for they were a more introspective people than any he had ever met.
"We were, we are, and we will become," she spoke at last. Another pause. "The cycle turns anew, and Spirits turn the wheel. In death, in life, and in the great between, all must do their part to keep our hearts united. Glory to our Spirits, the ones who came before; may they guide us and teach us love, till our day is come."
The words were slow, mantra-like, and spoken in a deep, flat but firm voice that Kelin had no ability but to be drawn in by them. The imagery alone her words summoned was beautiful yet haunting.
"There is saying," Hera continued then, shifting back into her normal, gruff voice. "Spirits will be spirits. All things were meant to be." Her eyes glanced down at him again meaningfully. "We were always meant to meet today."
Kelin took that in for several seconds. Finally, he let out a deep, shaky breath. "Woah. That's heavy. So, it's all about the here and now, yeah?" He looked up at her eagerly again, to which he saw a faint glimmer in surprise in her eyes. "Spirits had their turn to live, and now they want you to live yours."
"That... that is right!" she admitted, sounding legitimately taken aback but in a pleased way. "I am surprised to hear Human understand the Spirits so well, so quickly."
"What can I say?" he grinned cheekily, winking up at her. I come here a lot, to think."
"You must live here," she pondered, then gave him another one of those sparkling little winks. "Lot of thinking."
He shrugged modestly. "This bench has cradled my buns many times, I'll admit." She snorted and he checked another sound off his mental list of things he was glad to hear before he died. "But I also come here to clear my head, to relax, to get away from the noise."
"Of people?" she inquired with immediate understanding, adjusting her seat on the bench beside him. It may have just been his imagination, but she seemed to be leaning her furry bulk just a bit more heavily and directly against him.
"Of everything," he told her. "But most of all of the ones inside of my head." He paused then grinned up at her. "I know, total psycho vibes, right?"
Her broad, powerful shoulders shrugged nonchalantly. "Tiny psycho, I am not much worried," she fired right back.
He beamed in response then his eyes fell and he went on with what he had been saying before humor had tried to deflect him again. "Most of the time, I'm trying to get away from the pain, from the things and people I've lost. Sometimes...it all feels too much, and I hide behind a big smile, a laugh, or pretend nothing is bothering me. Pretending to be strong. But when I'm alone, in the dark of my own mind, I feel trapped by it all. But when I find a moment of calm and quiet, of perfection like this one, I know that it's all going to be all right. The people I love, both gone and present, would want me to be happy, to love, and to find peace."
Her eyes, golden as the sun, were soft and understanding. "You understand the Spirits before any ever told you of them."
Kelin sniffed once and then chuckled to dissipate the rush of heat that came to his face at that gaze. "Well, our ancestors wouldn't want us miserable little wrecks to be miderable forever, right? They'd want us to keep moving, however we have to do to get by."
She remained silent as he spoke, seemingly sinking in his words. "You are...right," she admitted. "I am always so focused on the moving, not allowing myself to sit still, in fear of...dwelling. I need to keep moving, to never slow down or stop, for fear of my darkness catching up to me."
"We can't outrun the darkness inside our own mind," he told her, mirroring words that had once brought great comfort to him. "We bring it with us wherever we go. We have to accept it as a part of ourselves, because that is the only way we will ever see the light." She growled but it didn't sound dismissive. He noticed her legs shift again. "Do you want to keep walking?" he offered.
She glanced down at him once then away, back to the sky. "I...would like a bit more time...I am sorry." She grimaced then. "My leg...I am sorry, if I am wasting your time..." She trailed off as if suggesting he should leave her there.
He thought about telling her that it was perfectly all right, and understandable, but upon thinking about it, he instead opted for a different approach. Instead, he just relaxed more. "I am in no rush at all," he said calmly, leaning back into the bench and closing his eyes. "Besides, we just started and I'm having a great time. There's another bench just above the lake up ahead if we make it up that far, has one of the best views on the entire trail."
"Is it better than the one here?" she asked, sounding genuinely intrigued.
"It's just as good," he assured her.
Humming at that, Hera reclined back as he had. Together, they returned to gazing at the sky. After a while, Kelin reached for his phone, clicked through the lock screen and turned on his music player app. Turning on his speakerphone, he clicked a Celtic fantasy song that he used for meditation, yoga, and writing back at home, keeping it on low but just audible enough to let them have something else to listen to alongside the sounds of nature. The gentle refrain of a lute, piano, and recorded bird sounds drifted through the air, perfectly accompanied by their surroundings.
Then came a heavy sniff came from his side and he glanced up. He started and sat up straight. Hera was still looking straight up at the sky, but her eyes had suddenly grown so distant and far away that he doubted she even knew where she was anymore. Her shoulders did not so much shake as the fur quivered every now and then, and her teeth were grimly set in a fierce line.
A single tear glistened on her furry cheek, sliding slowly down before absorbing into it. It stood out so vivid and detailed to him that it might have been etched there upon her beautiful, sad face as if by acid. It was like something out of a portrait, every detail about her perfectly detailed and heart-breakingly sad to witness. Her muscles were tight and she bit her lip softly. Another tear oozed slowly from those golden eyes.
He hurriedly pressed pause on the music, making the forest path once again the only source of noise in their world around them. The bear started. She looked forwards again, and then down at him almost blearily, as if confused and shaken out of a bad dream. He looked at her worriedly, not sure how he could possibly help.
Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked away, growling softly. She wiped at her eyes with a paw, shoulders as tense and tight as stone. Despite being so close to her, Kelin had never felt so far away from another person in all his life. "Stupid..." he heard her mutter.
He thought about asking, prying deeper, but he knew that would only make her angry. She didn't like people asking her questions about what she was here for, she seemed to want to suffer. He had only heard a bit of the conversation between her and the Doberman from before, and he felt horribly guilty. So he did the only logical thing to him. He just hung his head and waited. He didn't ask, he didn't talk, he didn't even move. He let her reach the point where she would be most comfortable, recenter herself.
Finally... "Sorry," she muttered, almost bitterly, as if hating that she had to apologize for it and not meaning it at all, only doing so because it was the polite thing to do. As if crying in front of someone was somehow an inconvenience. Gods forbid people get to feel sensitive. He could not shake the small sense of how honored he felt that even that had slipped through her icy armor.
He shook his head hurriedly. "I can't imagine what inside you hurts so much, and it isn't my business to know. I didn't mean to upset you with the music, it's how I deal with the world and I like to find sounds that compliment what is around me. You never have to apologize for your own feelings, not to me, and not to anyone. It isn't right to tell someone they're sad for a reason they probably already know, or to force them to talk about it."
She looked at him, intently, not saying a word.
Taking a chance, he kept talking. "Maybe it's horribly out of place for me to say so, and definitely not what therapists try to tell us, but...its no one's business to pry into your life. You've been through things, and sometimes there's no other answer we see than to assume we just have to suffer through them, like there's some grand point to it all, and that if we do suffer enough, maybe it'll stop hurting after a while." He felt more than saw her nodding along. "It doesn't have to be that way, but it's how we want it to be sometimes. At times, it becomes so much that we can't even understand how the world keeps on turning when it can hurt this much just to exist after what's happened has."
His hands drifted and he fingered the black wristbands on each of his arms, almost without thinking about them, feeling what lay underneath the fabric without having to directly touch them. "I know."
He let that hang in the air, eyes on the ground between his feet, his arms growing slowly colder from the gentle breeze that kept gusting through. It was darker now, the shadows deeper. The birdsong continued around them, just like in the song. Memories of the darker past threatened to resurface in his mind's eye, the ever-looming threat of wars, of peaceful protests being met with violent mobs, of hatred and the pain of it all.
He saw the faces of the ones he had lost vividly, to things that had nothing to do with constant rumors of "Anthro aggression" or "Racial wars". Things that were a natural part of life: consequences of bad luck or bad choices. He sighed and pursed his lips. It all felt like only so short a time ago, and yet so far away.
He looked up again, and felt her still looking at him. She hadn't said anything, but he felt that she had her entire attention upon him. He didn't feel their size difference anymore. He just felt sad, and wishing that he could help her, knowing how much help could mean when it came at a time like this.
Finally, Hera took a deep breath and she spoke. Her voice was rough, tight, and more than a little gravely, holding back a wave of emotion that he doubted she ever showed anyone even now. "It is nice...to have someone understand it." Her voice was low and soft but grateful, and she leaned against him more if just slightly, her weight comforting and solid against him. "So many people, they want to ask and poke and prod, like there is no time to be sad. Things happen but other things must happen too, and all so fast. Like life has to rush by, they feel. I understand, must to move on eventually. And when in pain, it is easy to focus only on how much everything hurts."
Kelin nodded along, taking his turn in being quiet and just listening. He did add, "It's admittedly unhealthy to dwell so much on misery, and dangerous. Like falling down a well."
"Yes," she growled. "Or sinking. Or stuck in cave. No way out, and even when wanting to reach for a hand to help, it is too dark to see, and you feel as if by letting go of pain..."
"You feel like you're betraying why it hurts so bad, why it matters, and by letting it go you're saying that it's just another thing to get over," he all but whispered.
"Yes!" she said, voice actually becoming louder and he felt her lean forwards. Glancing up, he saw her looking at him over her shoulder, paws out in front of her and balled up like fists. Her cheeks looked freshly wet, her eyes hard and full of pain and pent up anger. "They want to take away my pain, like it is child with scrape."
Her eyes took on somehow an even colder light, flinty and resentful. When she spoke again, her already deeply accented speech was even more pronounced in a mocking tone of voice. "Oh it is ok Hera, cry it out Hera but pull self together. They wouldn't want you so sad, Hera." Her voice broke a bit and she buried her head in her paws, clenching her thick fur and hair equally in those massive hands and ears going flat. "The now that I am is...sad" she choked out.
Reaching up, very gently, he touched her shoulder. She didn't react. "My aunt told me something a long, long time ago, and when she died, I had to speak at her funeral. I read off exactly what she said, line for line, because it struck a chord with me. Maybe it will help you too."
"What was it?" came her barely audible voice, just before a tremulous, heart-wrenching sniff.
"A life is worth all the rays of the sun, and worth all the drops of rain. When it begins, there are tears and joy, and when it ends those should be there too. A life is measured by how many weep for you when you die, for each tear is a scar, and a memory. But just because they are spent does not mean you lose them. When the day comes for us, I promise you will have one more to cry for you, as I hope you will for me."
A single ray of sunshine again broke through the branches, and illuminated her slightly more. He met her eyes, smiling sadly, and watched her mull over what he had said. She looked away quickly, but she had a tiny smile just like his now. Her eyes crinkled and her lip trembled several times before she sniffed. She looked up at the sky. He did the same.
"Thank you," She hung her head in her paws again and raked a clawed hand back through her thick silvery tresses. "In three weeks of therapy, that alone does more for me than anything anyone else here has been able to. You are...a good person, Kelin."
He tried not to beam, that simple praising making the world seem a bit brighter. "We can only try," he said, trying to sound modest. She snorted, so it seemed to not have worked.
"Gallant knight aiding lady fair is not imagery that fits you," she said, teasing but lacking much energy. "But I would be lucky to call you friend, because friend you are to say things to me and help as much as you have." She made to stand, so he did as well, handing her one of her crutches. She took it and looked down at him with a warmth like glowing honey coming from those bright eyes. "We continue walk, yes? Just for little bit longer."
He smiled and tucked his hands into his pockets, shivering a little now that he was not so focused on her after so long. "Sure, I'd like that. It'll be good to get into the sunshine again. Reminds us that dark patches of our life are allowed to be sad, as long as we always come back to the light."
Her face went through several emotions all at once, as if trying to process them all, and then she smiled. A real smile. And it was brighter than any sunbeam could ever be. "Could you play some more music?"
Smiling back, he reached back up and turned the phone's app back on, makiniig it louder as they continued walking. Instead of nature soiunds, he turned his music app on random. The first notes that blared through hisi speakers immediately had him scrabbling to press next, but Hera stopped him with nothing more than her ears perking up.
"I love this song..." she whispered.
Kelin lowered his hand and grinned. "So do I. I...listen to it a lot."
They resumed walking, keeping close to one another so that both of them could hear so long as she stayed close to his side. And she did. He couldn't remember a time he'd appreciated Celine Dion more. Mom's love of her had passed down onto him after all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXvYd13rdrE
As they went, the song building in their ears and ringing all around the otherwise isolated path, Kelin felt the urge to try and push just a little harder. He turned midverse and suddenly pointed at Hera, startling her for a moment before he sung the next line in the chorus, entirely on beat and in rhythm.
"Let the rain come on down and wash away...my tears," he sang, posing along with the last murmured note.
To his utter delight, Hera immediately leapt in next to him "Let it fill my soul and drown my fears!" Her voice was low and soft, but rang with the perfect lyrical notes as if sung by the voice of an angel. He had hoped she might sing along, but he'd never imagined she would sound more beautiful a singer than any he'd ever heard, and he grew up in a family of musicians!
In his brief moment of euphoria and wonder, he missed the next line, but even as her eyes gleamed down at him, he found the words for the next coming forth from him as if done subconsciously. "A new...day...has..."
"Come..." They both sang at once. Their smiles, hesitant but bright, widened just a touch more. They resumed walking, singing along, side by side, to songs that long helped to bring him out of his darkest moods. And so, it seemed, for her as well.
