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Right to a Bear's Arms, Ch. 8
🕑 Added 2022-08-25 19:49:19 +0000 UTC*Author's Note: This chapter contains some deeply emotional parts about therapy, self-forgiveness, and some controversial material. As this is a work of fiction, please be understanding, and please enjoy. For all of you who have lost, are lost, or just need the idea to get help, please do. You are not alone*
The haze of cigarette smoke hung heavily in the air of the interrogation room. Hera's paws were cuffed loosely to the heavy steel table as a precaution. A bottle of pills and a tall glass of water were nearby. She stared into the small drifting bubbles, barely hearing the police officer in front of her shuffling her papers. They had been at this for a while now, and it just kept going in circles. Hera could still taste the blood in her mouth, the fear, the rising Aggression devolving into full on Fury. The terror in Kelin's eyes, her stomach tightened into knots again at the very memory.
Rapid knocking on the table in front of her made her switch her attention back to the present, although she didn't look away from the glass. The hyena looked at her blankly, leaning back in her chair and tapping a pen on her clipboard. Her name tag read "Heen", the polished metal shining brightly underneath the glow of the lights overhead. She seemed to take that Hera was listening now instead of zoning out.
"All right, Ms Doring," the officer said, sounding as tired as Hera felt. "Just one more time. You went with these men voluntarily." It wasn't a question, they had covered this already several times.
"Da," she replied mechanically.
"They took you out to the alley."
"Da."
"And what? The Panther," Heen looked down at her clipboard. "Leroy Delgado, started harassing you. You didn't try to fight back."
Hera shook her head. "No point to, nothing he could say or do that I haven't done or said to myself."
Heen's eyes narrowed. "Uh huh. What was the nature of his harassment?"
Her vision grew misted again and she leaned forwards to scratch a paw back through her messed up hair. Her paw only got halfway because of the cuffs. The instinct to claw at herself again rose but she had made Kelin a promise not to anymore. It didn't stop her kneading her thick hair several times. She didn't want to talk about this anymore. The memories were flooding in all at once and far too vividly. "Officer, I told you," she said, voice crackly and strained. "It is not important."
"It's important when two full-size Preds go Fury in the middle of city plaza and potentially cause an incident involving a Human on site who was rushed to the hospital." Heen's voice was flat and disinterested in Hera's flinching at the last part of her sentence. "Have you been taking your EPD?" The Hyena's voice was accusatory.
Hera rolled her tongue distastefully. The chalky pills made her feel groggy. Ever since being released from the military, she had been put on double strength medication to hopefully ease her back into society. She shouldn't have even been able to go Fury like that. "Yes."
"And are they your daily recommended doses?"
"No, I'm on different prescription."
Heen's pierced eyebrow rose. It wasn't anything ostentatious, just a small stud, but it lent some brightness to her dark fur. "I'm only aware of three kinds of alternate prescriptions for EPD; your file doesn't list a prior connection to Alphism, and you don't have the symptoms for jungle fever. Travel much?"
She shook her head.
"You ever been to prison?" Heen's voice seemed tense, perhaps impatient.
"When I was much younger. Youth stuff. Juvie."
"Where at?" The scratch of pen and paper was annoyingly loud.
"Siberia."
Their eyes met once again. A curiousness settled there, wavering against wary apprehenstion. Anthros had changed in small but significant ways since some Clans integrating into Human society.
"Uh huh," continued Heen, wariness winning out in the end. Hera was not surprised, nor offended. Old Minds like Heen, Ahn-loyalist true, kept true to the old ways, while leaving Humans plenty well alone for the most part until recently. "Nothing recent, no criminal record otherwise?"
Hera did not like what this officer was insinuating. She glanced down into the Hyena's eyes and her lip rolled a bit. "No."
"I guess we just wait for your background check to come back in then," the officer sniffed, looking if anything understanding, potentially sympathetic, but still terse and distant, at Hera's discomfort and annoyance. She might not have been happy Hera was here, but she was taking it very seriously and without prejudice for cultural differences.
Hera rolled her eyes up into her head and sighed, dismissing the almost nauseating rise of Aggression at the back of her throat. She wanted to just go home, forget about this day. She started then, looking at the officer as she shuffled her papers. "Is he all right?"
"Who?"
"Kelin." Hera's voice cracked from worry. The image of her human's face rushed to the forefront of her mind. Every smile, laugh, twinkle of his eyes. The fear that he had been in, the sight of that Panther snarling and slashing at him. The rush of similar memories washed over her and she shuddered a tiny bit.
The Hyena looked up at her, recognizing the pain perhaps. "Who?" she asked, voice growing a bit flatter. She knew who she was talking about, but was cautiously testing to ascertain exactly the reasoning.
"Kelin Leod, the human who was..." Hera closed her eyes and swallowed down the feeling again. Without even thinking, she reached over to the glass and pills, swallowed two, and drained the water in several quick gulps. The rush of grogginess and lethargy came on quickly but she was used to it. Her tongue felt dry and cottony. "The human from the bar. He is ok?"
"I'm not at liberty to discuss that, ma'am. Not until your background check comes in."
"Please!" Hera said, leaning forwards in her chair. Her paws clasped together, handcuffs clinking. "He is...just tell me if he is okay or not. I only saw him as Fury was going away, but he was bleeding. Please, he is my..." she trailed off. Boyfriend? Probably not after this. He might be so scared of Anthros he would stop going to the gym, texting her; he might even request to move back home. She couldn't blame him if that was what he decided.
Heen waited for several seconds longer, eyebrow rising a bit, and her ears twitching. "Your...what? Friend? You two know each other?" She looked down at her notes and jotted down a fresh line.
"He is...was...I don't know." Hera leaned back in her chair again. The realization of who Kelin really was to her, why she was so concerned for him over even herself, hit her hard. And she smiled to herself. "My boyfriend. He is...my boyfriend."
The Hyena blinked. Actual surprise. She even lost that judgmental frown. "Boyfriend? You? And a human?"
Hera growled, immediately put on guard. "What so wrong with it? Anthros at bar called me Breeder, I do not care. He is good to me, saved me from black cave that was my depression. Taught me to see the light again, to hear the Spirits, and begin forgiving myself for what I've done. So what if people judge because of size difference, or species difference? So what if..." She felt her voice rising and her Aggression rose despite the fresh dose of medication. Her head swam from the rushing of different chemicals and emotions warring inside her head.
Heen raised her paws quickly. "Woah, woah easy ma'am. I wasn't judging at all. I just had no idea that was what had happened." She leaned forwards as Hera calmed down again, although she slid a bucket over towards her end of the table in case Hera started getting sick. "I just never would have guessed...I guess it really is a different world now."
Hera looked at the Hyena, and was surprised to see that the officer's entire demeanor had changed. She seemed more relaxed, if only a little bit. She even dug into her back pocket and palmed her wallet. She flicked it open. The main picture inside was of herself and a Meerkat in civilian clothes posing in full uniform, next to a very punky Hyena teen. The girl's head was adorned with a graduation cap, squashing her ears and bright pink-dyed hair.
And that was not all; the Hyena girl was ferociously holding onto the arm of a... Hera blinked, this time it was her turn to be surprised. The Hyena girl was holding onto a human, a nondescript but sweetly flustered boy near her own age, like he was the most previous thing to be protected in the world.
Officer Heen chuckled. "That's my daughter. Kenzi. She's...was, a senior in high school, and that's her boyfriend. Very sweet boy, part of the initiative transfer of Humans into Anthro schools in the Districts. I got transferred here recently, and it's been a challenge trying to make people more accepting of the new reality. Those riots didn't help though...but things are peaceful back where they live anyways." Heen seemed completely different now, smiling even.
Hera tried to return the smile but she couldn't make it sincere. She simply nodded and looked back down at the table. It was nice at least that the officer was at least understanding. She was used to being judged and mocked all her life, but being accepted was a different kind of feeling. She hadn't always been like this, but growing up how she did had changed so much of her world views. And she also had Kelin to thank for that.
"So...can you tell me how Kelin is doing?" she implored.
Heen pondered the question, smile fading a bit, before she glanced at her paperwork again for a long few seconds. "It says he was transferred to Saint Fang's but there's been no word on updates. No medical notes or such. There would have at least been something on our end if anything bad had happened, so he's probably fine."
Breathing out a small sigh, Hera nodded, and then her gall rose again as her nerves calmed down. The rush of so many different feelings, sensations, and drugs had her stomach in agony and she took several deep breaths. The pills had been a mistake, what with how many she was already on. "Good," she grunted finally, ears flat against her skull and head pounding.
The door rattled then and another officer, a tall male Stag, crowning antlers trimmed short, walked in. He handed Heen an envelope, whispered something into her ear, and then leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms. He didn't look angry or like something was the matter, he seemed to just be hanging around as Heen opened the file and read what was inside. Her eyes went wider and she glanced up at Hera.
"I owe you an apology," the officer immediately uttered, closing the folder and sliding it over towards Hera. The polar bear plucked it up gingerly in her paws and opened it. Her own photo stared back at her back from when she had been recruited. It had her information, license number, address, everything.
It was almost kind of startling to see so much about herself printed out neatly on a piece of paper. It even had her misdemeanors from childhood on it. But the part that drew her eye was the attached notes about the Estarof riots. Her heart sank and she closed the envelope.
"No, you don't," she responded softly, looking down at the table.
"No, I do," was Heen's gruff but sincere reply. "I didn't have any idea that you were the same Ursid on the news a few days ago. I guess it's the hair, you don't look the same with it all done up in a bun. Wish my hair would behave like that," Hera glanced up to see the Hyena messing with her trimmed and combed mohawk-like ruff between her notched ears. "In any case, I'm sorry for assuming you were just another Fury dropout. We get them every so often; folks just get tired of taking them and the fallout regression hits hard. It's just easier to assume that a double case of Fury nowadays is the same thing. I never would have imagined..." She shook her head and nodded at her companion, the Stag. "Officer Spring, please undo her restraints."
Hera blinked in surprise but lifted her paws so that the Stag could unlock her. She rubbed at her wrists, more than a little confused, glancing up at Spring. He gave her a single look: a small, meaningful nod of respect and understanding. His scent was brief in her nose, but she smelled his life as he did hers. She sensed military upbrining, the soaked-in scents of sea-salt, the posture. They were as vivid as a full on conversation, happening in mere moments.
The Exchanging of the Scents.
"You're free to go ma'am," Heen stated, refocusing Her back onto this sudden but welcomed turn of events. "We have more than one eyewitness apparently that can attest to your involvement in this case, glowing testimonials in most cases, not to mention your prior service history. Apparently we even have someone who was right there when everything went down. We will still hold Mr. Delgado for questioning. Do you want to press charges for Assault?"
Hera quickly shook her head. The worst of the wooziness was finally slackening off and she looked from Officers Heen to Spring over and over. "Just like that, I am free to go?"
The officer seemed ashamed, rubbing at the back of her head. "Yeah, sorry about my attitude prior. Like I said, it's easier to assume you just weren't taking your meds. Frankly I am still surprised that someone on an extended dose was able to even go Fury but given the circumstances of who was involved and your past...I'd say that I'm less surprised now." The hyena stood. "Do you need anything before we escort you out?"
"No, thank you," Hera stood as well then glanced at the folder. "Can... I ask one question, Officer Heen?"
"Shoot."
"I've been...struggling. Since Estarof. Going through therapy and everything. Even got boyfriend. But I cannot help feeling..."
Heen's eyes softened the way only a mother's could. "Ashamed?" Hera shook her head. "Remorseful?" She nodded. "That means you're a good person, Sergeant Doring. You made a tough decision in a split second and I don't think anyone could have done anything else to deter the situation. I've seen the news and the videos about that riot. You did what you thought you had to do to protect those people. No one in their right mind can blame you. Well...most can't anyways."
Hera looked up confused.
Heen sighed, looking at her companion, who nodded after a long pause. "Mr Delgado is the brother of one of the Anthro extremist aggressors injured in the riot. Hector Delgado, or I guess per his will, Torre of Clan Delgray was pronounced dead on the scene. I...know that's a tough thing to handle. There were a lot of people that got hurt. A lot of them like Torre; misguided, hateful fools that cannot embrace the world we have been given to live in."
Hera nodded, the bottom of her stomach falling a bit farther. She could only have guessed the relation from how the Panther had acted and from what he had said. It all made more sense now.
Heen shuffled her papers and then nodded down at Hera. "Like I said, you're free to go ma'am. Sorry to have put you through this. If it helps, there's someone here apparently who is waiting to see you." The Hyena had a small smile on her lips as she gestured with a paw to Hera, who stood and gathered up her leather jacket from a coat rack on the back wall.
"Who is it?" Hera asked as she was escorted down the hall from the interrogation room.
They walked through a crowded bullpen of officers, citizens, and even, to her dread, several reporters, their crowd impossible not to spot by the various crewmen carrying cameras all around the various News teams. One began to glance in her direction but thankfully didn't see her, thanks to Heen. A single nod from her, and one of the officers nearest to the said journalist got his attention by pretending to make a statement, and made sure no one saw them shepherding Hera out.
The police were all at their desks, making phone calls, shooting the bull, or otherwise performing their duties as the evening slowly wound down to a close. The sun could be seen through the windows, very slowly approaching the horizon.
Heen didn't say anything until they had reached a set of double doors past the receptionist. "I think you'll know who it is in a second," was all that she said as they walked outside of the precinct. Hera turned to look at who was standing on the curb waiting for her. Her heart skipped a beat and her chest tightened in multiple ways.
Kelin had a medical gauze and bandage around the right side of his face, messing with his thick head of hair, which was no longer in its usual manbun. He had on a different shirt than he'd had on their date, and he stood there awkwardly, hands in his jacket pockets and looking up at her with a mixture of worry and elation.
Hera glanced back at Heen, noticing a smirk on her muzzle. The Hyena waved goodbye, calling out , "Try the coffee stand around the corner, it's amazing," before she walked back inside the precinct. She turned back to look down at Kelin who was keeping a small distance between them.
"You are...?" she asked finally. Her eyes locked onto the bandage.
"Just fine," he replied quickly. She glanced back down into his bright eyes, which had small bags underneath them from lack of sleep and obvious stress. "How are you doing?"
Hera took a deep breath and folded her jacket in front of her. The breeze was light but it felt like someone was combing her fur over with a wire brush. She tensed, unsure of what to expect. "Good," she blurted lamely a few seconds later. "The umm...officers said that witness reported I was not to blame for incident."
Kelin gave a weak smile and nodded. "Well yeah, you weren't. You didn't start that fight. If anything, I'm sorry. I just..." he hung his head abit. "I didn't like how that guy was talking to you. I acted on instinct; probably made things a lot worse."
Hera blinked down at him. Her chest tightened again. Sorry, how could he possibly be sorry? Was he really blaming himself? "You have nothing to be sorry about," she consoled immediately. "Things were already bad. And Panther was off his meds. That not on you, Kelin."
He pepped up a bit when she said his name and he took a wary step forwards. "I also...didn't mean to... What I said, back there. About...the thing. I didn't want you to feel like I was prying or digging into your past before you were ready to tell me. Not that you had to tell me." He seemed nervous for some reason. Why? "I...saw a news report and...sort of fell down the rabbit hole. I saw everything."
Those last words immediately made her gut clench, but the open, earnest look in his eyes dispelled the sudden thunderclouds before they could even fully form.
She shook her head, grateful just for the conversation. A squad car rolled up beside them and they both moved out of the way as the officer got out, nodded politely to them, and walked inside the precinct, long tail barely missing the closing doors. "It is no matter to me. Would be living underneath rock if didn't have news constantly blasting on phone alerts. Cannot even silence them. You were bound to find out sooner or later."
He nodded, still looking guilty about it. "I...should have talked to you about it when I found out though, shouldn't I?"
"Why?" she asked, arching an eyebrow. "It was not your business." She noticed he flinched at that and she realized how it had sounded. "Not your problem...no not that either." She swore softly in Russian and rubbed at her face with a paw. "It wasn't your...fault to be unsure how to bring up sensitive thing like that. I am not mad at you for that."
At that, her Kelin finally seemed to pep up a bit and seemed to relax a bit. He walked forwards a bit more and looked up into her eyes. Damn those crystal lakes, they were so bright and deep all at once. It made her want to dive in all the way to the bottom.
The urge to sweep him up in her arms was unbearable but she held herself back. At least he didn't seem too worse for wear, but she knew better than most how some scars didn't need to show to hurt worse than any other pain possible. She didn't want to reach for him and see him flinch back. It would destroy her.
A stiff breeze gusted past them and Kelin noticeably shivered. "It's getting pretty cold out," he said. Of course, he wanted to head out but had been at least decent enough to come see her. It was more than she deserved. "Do you want to go get some of that coffee?" She met his eyes again.
Her bottom lip quivered a bit and she bit off a happy rush of tears before simply nodding. "I'd like that a lot," she did her best not to whimper through tears. They turned and walked together away from the station, towards a parked food truck on the other side of the street. She tried to give him space but, even as she thought that, she felt his hand brush her paw and without words she enveloped it.
They stood in line until it was their turn, and once they each had a steaming cup of delicious brew in their free hands, they kept walking. Near to the police station was a small park with a jogging track, nothing like at the Gym but nice enough. They sat down on a black metal park bench and watched the world slowly gust by.
For the sake of keeping him warm, she put her leather jacket around his shoulders and sat right beside him. His just being there was warmer than any coffee could have been, but she still sipped at it silently.
It was silent between them for a long time, until, finally, she felt him stir. He took a deep breath. "Can I ask you a question? About...the past?" Her eyes closed and she braced herself for the worst. She nodded. "What was growing up for you like?" Her eyes fluttered open and she glanced down at him surprised.
Would he ever cease to do so? Just when she expected the world to come crashing down or return to its grim grayness, he was there to throw a beam of sunlight and new air into the closed off valley of her mind.
"You mean past past," she surmised, chuckling softly, to which he smiled. Making herself more comfortable and casually looping an arm behind his shoulders atop the bench, she settled into the seat. "Well, obviously, I was born in Russia. I was short, chubby cub with tons of issues. Caused trouble because I was mad, sad, lonely. Momma left us when I was young, Poppa died during the war. Got transferred to orphanages and foster system. Wasn't good with other kids, especially not humans. Poppa was very racist, left me with same way of thinking. Picked fights with kids, adults, whoever. Went to juvie. Got given one last chance. The system put me in foster family. The Dorings."
Hera plucked out her phone from the pocket of the jacket currently draped over him and clicked through the lock screen to her background. Swiping the apps away, she showed it to him. A bulky bear teenager beamed from behind a family of humans all with similar expressions. Every one of them wore a comical set of bear ears atop their heads, with pink shirts all bearing the logo 'Ringo's Family Resort!'. Behind them, a huge amusement park sparkled in the sun, brightly colored tubes and gleaming tracks caught the light as if they were on fire.
Pointing with her claw, she ticked each member of the family off. "Marissa." A tiny, chubby faced girl with her front teeth missing and holding a balloon. Her shoes were mismatched and her skirts were covered in polka dots.
"Finn and Uri." A twin pair of boys who were making faces and looked indistinguible save for one had a shaved head.
"Tyrin." A tall, teenage boy with scraggly, unkempt hair hanging half of his face, the other half of which looked half amused, half bored.
"Momma Doring." A homely woman with an arm in a sling. She held a newborn baby in the other, whose dour face seemed entirely too serious for the group.
"Baby Gregor; we called him Gee-gee because he could not say his own name."
Her claw lingered last of all over a portly yet thin-shouldered man, almost as tall as Hera. He had a beard that almost reached his shoulders, a thin wispy thing as if he had never grown a beard that big in his life. He had his fists on his hips and posed as if he were an action movie hero. "Poppa..." Hera sniffed.
She heard Kelin snicker and she glanced down at him. He was beaming at her phone, even took it from her at her nod and he leaned in closer. He double-tapped the screen and made it zoom in. "What is with Baby Gregor's face?" he asked, voice straining not to burst out laughing. "He looks like a tiny Vinny Jones! So serious!" He snickered again, and she did the same, the humor dismissing the mistiness brought on by her nostalgia and homesickness.
"Yes, he was always so stoic even as baby." She wiped at the corner of her eyes and quickly flicked on her gallery. Selecting a folder, she pulled up a photo of just Gregor, and Kelin guffawed. The tiny human wore a brightly colored onesie covered in ducks, had ketchup on his face and hands, and bore an expression that conveyed the wish to murder whoever was taking his picture.
Kelin tried to cover his mouth and deaden his mirth. "Mother," he grunted, putting on an incredibly deep voice and pulling much the same expression, even pursing out his lips and scrunching his nose. Hera couldn't help it; she began to snort and giggle. "Mother!" Kelin repeated, just as monotone and furious as before, deep voice now with an added a slightly Cockney accent. "Why would you do this to me, you numpty?!" The polar bear slapped the back of the bench, tears in her eyes and snorting rapidly for breath.
"Oh spirits Kelin, stop! You are going to make me spill coffee!"
Kelin grinned evilly and lifted the phone up beside his face, pulling the same expression again. "What kind of wanker are you that don't drink beer 'stead of bloody coffee!" He then paused for a second as Hera coughed for air, and then switched to a rather accurate Russian accent flawlessly. "Or I should be saying, where is mine vodka, mother?"
Hera about fell out of the bench, laughing harder than she had in years. Passersby gave them both odd looks but she couldn't give a damn at this point. He finally relented and gave her back the phone. "You have any more of them?" he asked excitedly, scooting in closer to her.
Sniffing and wiping at her eyes, Hera giggled as she swiped to the side. Picture after picture she showed him her family, all the mishaps and memorable moments that had been her sole way of getting through the day before she had met him. There was the time that the twins dumped an entire bowl of spaghetti on one of their heads, thus why he had had his head shaved. Tyrin playing his guitar. Marissa in a princess costume posing on top of a playground with a fake sword in hand, screaming her head off. There was even a picture of them ambushing Poppa Doring while he was in the bathtub with cucumbers on his eyes. His mock-horrified expression in trying to cover his hairy chest in bubbles had Kelin snorting even harder.
"He seems like an amazing guy," he giggled.
Hera nodded and smiled down at the picture. "He is... he took me in when no one else would. Vouched for me to school. Put band-aids on cuts, soothed me with cookies and milk when I cried in my room but didn't want to be around anyone. I resented him for so long; he was so different from my actual Poppa. He must have seen a picture of him once, because that was when he started growing beard. Surprised me with fake one down to his belly like your Santa Claus on Christmas. They give me a present, and inside, adoption papers. I could be a Doring for real, if I wanted. I was too old to need it, but they offered anyways. That was day that I broke and cried in his arms. Really became member of the family after. He kept beard long ever since, something I hid in when things got too hard."
Kelin listened as she talked, smiling and nodding, although when she mentioned the beard, he actually teared up a bit and chuckled. "Correction, he's a saint. I'd love to meet them someday. Are they all still around?"
"Of course, but not here. Back in Russia. They moved me here for school, and I join Army soon after. I used to go visit every holiday I could; did webcam when could not fly out. All of them doing well. Baby Gregor is now Little Gregor, although already as big as twins are in photo."
She flicked back to her home screen, and only then realized how close to her Kelin had gotten. He was leaning right into the crook of her arm, practically half in her lap, and she couldn't help but lean her muzzle down against his head and breathe in. His scent was so comforting and soft. He twitched and she leaned back hurriedly. Maybe they weren't back to that yet.
Then his nose was pointedly pushing into her collarbone, his arms going around her bulk as much as he could reach. She melted and her arms encircled him gently, holding him against her. Her face and eyes burned for a wholly differing reason and she couldn't keep the stupid smile off her muzzle.
They stayed like that for a while before she spoke again. "Was worried...that you would hate me."
"How in the world could I hate someone like you?" came his slightly muffled voice.
She snorted and leaned back a little. "Would be sweeter if you were not telling that to my boobs," she teased, eyes sparkling, only to blink in shock as he leaned up as far as he could, gripped her furry cheek, and pulled her down to kiss him. She stared wide eyed at his face before she sank into it, leaning down so that he didn't have to strain so much for the angle.
His taste was so rich, coffee thick on his tongue and breath, but also hints of those other smells and flavors that were so very him. Her paws brushed up and down his cheek and his arm, clawtips touching the bandages on his face.
When they broke apart for air, and she got her fur to fluff down, she worriedly inspected the wrapping on his face. "Does it hurt?" she asked. There was no hint of blood but she saw the skin just underneath it was red still.
"What, this cat-scratch?" he sniffed haughtily, putting on that adorable fake macho side of himself. "I barely felt it."
She frowned heavily and he touched her throat with his thumb, tracing up and down it through the fur. Her eyes rolled back into her head; apparently that was a button of hers and her ears wiggled in delight. Wonderful little tingles raced up and down her spine. "
"Really, Hera," he spoke, voice now much lower and soothing. "I really had no idea I was hurt until the police officer told me. I did pass out on the ambulance ride over but I woke up fast while they were stitching me up. Scared them a little, I think. They said I might have had a low-grade concussion and should be monitored but I had places to be. The cop followed me there with a human resources counselor and I gave the full statement once my head was in the right place."
She growled softly as his fingers continued to tickle gently in different areas, tracing her face and throat and shoulders with the tips of his digits. He even went as high up as to play with her ears and she wriggled again. How did she have all these weak spots all of a sudden?
Her eyes felt as if bore-down with sand bags, letting out a pleased growl as he leaned in to reach both of her ears at once, a curious smile on his gorgeous face. Those little tingles had warm little shockwaves to them and it made her brain a bit fuzzy. She hummed by way of continuing the conversation and letting him know she was still conscious.
He took it as she meant and continued talking. "The police officer called in my statement to his station and then I asked for a ride over. The counselor didn't think it was a good idea but I talked them into it. We even managed to avoid any journalists. Then it just came to waiting for you to be released. Were they harsh with you before they got told the truth?"
Hera shrugged. "Every case of Fury has to be taken very seriously if it goes that far, and Frenzy is worse. Side effect of going off of our pills for too long if they aren't weaned." Right then, she could not even imagine being angry, scared, or anything else; she was too at peace.
"EPD right?" She hummed in affirmation. "What are they exactly?"
She considered the question as her mental faculties struggled to work through his adoring little scritches to her hide and various parts of her face, throat, and even down along her wrists. His hands were magic.
"They're a mood suppressant. You are familiar with Aggression?" He nodded, then shrugged. "Is...a chemical reaction in Anthros," she tried to explain in terminology she herself understood; not every Anthro knew everything about the way Aggression worked, in the same way that not every Human knew how to do brain surgery. "We produce it when put into heightened states of emotional tension or elevation. Can be when we are scared, angry, hungry, upset," she wriggled again as he traced the line of her wrist down her forearm. "Excited."
Kelin's scent spiked a little and he leaned a bit more against her bulk, letting her wrap more of herself around him. She hummed at the feeling of her little boyfriend so close. "Horny...?" he asked very hesitantly, now adding in his fingernails to the weird tingling massage and she gave a low growl of satisfaction.
"Oh yes, especially that." She cocked an eyebrow down at his flushed face and chuckled. Her own paw closed in around him more. "It is like smell at various stages, allow other Anthros to know. It is why we are more honest. Hard to lie when we are upset when others can tell that we are. Beyond obvious facial queues and body language. But when we began Cohabitation efforts, we discovered that the pheromones put off by Humans can cause confusion in already tense scenario. Elevate sensations and emotions. EPD used to just be mood-drug, like antidepressant but for lots of things. After humans commingled, it became mandatory for coed cities. At least temporarily. Does not allow us to go Fury."
Kelin nodded along, still scratching and massaging. "Is there different kinds of Fury, or is it always anger?"
"Anger Fury is most common. Fear Fury, Hunger Fury." She leaned in closer to him and nibbled on the back of his neck, making him jump against her. "Other kinds too."
His skin burned against her muzzle and nose, and he chuckled hesitantly. "R-right..." he coughed and then lifted her wrist to his lips, kissing it. She hummed again. He stayed quiet like that for a few seconds before he asked, very softly. "I know all of this threw our...other plans for a bit of a loop."
She sniffed at his skin and nuzzled against it. "True," she admitted slowly. "Being honest, Kelin, I did not hope to think you would still want to be with me after you found out truth. Hoped to at least get that far with you before, but things not always work out that way. Not saying I do not still want to. Just didn't assume happiness with you would last. Expected world to hate me like I hated myself."
He leaned against her more, kissing her wrist again and lowering it before he leaned his head against her collarbone. "I could never hate you," he murmured. "I was surprised when I found out, and I felt guilty about it, like I had snuck around behind your back without meaning to. But everything I watched after the first news update just proved to me that you are as amazing a person as I always thought you were anyways I watched interviews, shots from other angles, everything I could; everything just confirmed what I already knew about you."
She sniffed, dabbing at her eyes with a furry finger. With her other paw, she practically pulled him fully into her lap, curling him into her embrace and holding him there. From how he burrowed in even deeper, she had a strong suspicion that he was enjoying it too.
Even half-buried in her fluffy bulk, Kelin managed to keep talking, if sounding a bit more muffled now. "You made a choice that I wouldn't wish on anyone, choosing between so many things all at once, and still managing to save the most people possible. You're a hero, Hera, and not just mine either."
She looked out across the park quietly for a moment. "Being a hero isn't what they make it sound like," she admitted bitterly. "You wake up to hate mail, you cannot show your face in some places. Worse of all, you have to live with it. Live with being alone, left behind. Live with making a choice to take something away from someone else infinitely. While in Army, it was easier, just doing a job, protecting country. But then you are asked to protect the country from itself, and things get fuzzy on what is right or wrong. My commander chose to deploy us to guard humans. If he hadn't..." She shivered and her head throbbed for a second. His fingers on her wrist and throat again made it go away. "Spirits say that there is reason for everything, that all is part of plan of nature. I still feel alone, but not as bad anymore."
"What changed?" he asked softly, face half pressed against the top of her vest and her arms surrounding him. "Did you remember your worth?"
"You reminded me of it." She softly crushed him against her just a bit more, shuddering in joy as he returned the hug as much as he could. "You are most important person in my life. The sunshine even on cloudy days or days that I am looking for clouds. You are sky, and sun, and everything bright in my life where all I saw was dark. I am waking up now eager to text you, not look at old photos. I am getting up eager for going to Gym, just to see you. It is my heart in my eyes everytime I see your name pop up on phone."
They sniffled together and he clung to the arm in front of him, putting her thick paw palm against his cheek. "You're just as important to me as you say I am to you. You're the first person I've met in a long time that makes me feel this way. Scared, happy, all those little jitters, and like you said, I smile every time I see you've texted me. Even if it's just that bear emoji of yours. Even when you're trying to give me a brain aneurysm by being flirty." He met her eyes, chuckling.
She grinned back, showing a tooth. "I am taking it easy on you. Could be worse. I told you, I like something I go after it. I am aggressive. Turn off?"
"So very much not a turn off," he replied. "It's a very new and different kind of feeling. The only girls I ever dated were Humans like me, and that was High School. Where relationships last years in a few months and end just as fast as they start. Some last, some end..." He touched his wristbands. "Some linger."
She touched them as well, and then very slowly, making sure he didn't object, she peeled one off. She sank as she saw the long telltale marks there, ragged and done with a purpose. Her claw traced one of them. Serious intent. The kind you did when you weren't trying for attention. He shivered against her and closed his eyes. She lifted it to her muzzle and sniffed it, then licked it very gently with the tip of her long tongue. Small little bear kisses to every single one. "Tell me?" she asked. He knew that he didn't have to, that she wanted to simply be there for his pain like he was for hers.
He hesitated, then said, "The last girl I dated before you, right before graduation. We were sweet hearts, friends for years before, and finally I get up the nerve to ask her out, only for her to do the deed first. We go on dates, we give each other things, we realize it was like all the songs on the radio suddenly made sense. And then..." he trailed off, swallowing hard. "She had these friends, dumb friends, who liked to drink. She went with them for a birthday party. We had had a fight about it." He went quiet but she knew. She held him harder.
"It's the good people who suffer for bad people's decisions," he said bitterly. "She was the only one who wasn't drunk. They got hit by a truck by another couple kids from our rival school. They were drunk too. Ran the car off the road. Didn't stay to help. The others were so wasted, and she was hurt. The girls couldn't get signal. Maybe if the cops had gotten there sooner..." He hung his head and gripped his wrist hard in the other hand. "I confronted the girls at school, screamed at them. Got grabbed and pulled back by their boyfriends, got suspended for starting a fight. I stopped caring. Got really depressed. Missed her so much. I got serious about trying to..."
"What stopped you?" she asked, voice pained and wanting to not imagine the visuals he was talking about.
"My uncle. He found me in the bathroom and rushed me to the hospital, screaming at me for being stupid. He was alone after losing my aunt years ago. I had helped him go through therapy after he was discharged from the military. His was for injury too. I made him want to live again, or at least I helped. And he was so mad and scared for me. He stayed with me all night at the hospital, I'd lost a lot of blood in the tub. Told my parents I had had an accident, covered for me. I didn't talk to him for a while, but I got close with him again right before I moved out here."
She smiled. "I am to be grateful to your uncle then. He saved you, like Poppa saved me."
"We all save each other a little every day," Kelin said. "We're all hanging off a ledge everytime we turn around, we feel alone and scared. Sometimes we slip a little farther down, want to just let go. But loves keep us strong. The ones you're born to have, and the ones you find along the way." He sniffed and shyly looked up at her, only to find her already looking soulfully into his eyes. He smiled wider and looked away, face flushed, and she did the same. Her muzzle glowed underneath her thick fur. "But...I've also noticed something else," he said, coughing. "We also sometimes have to find it ourselves by giving up those things that drag us down. Even if it means asking for forgiveness from others, or even from ourselves. I couldn't be there to stop her getting in that car. You couldn't have done more. We have to forgive ourselves first."
Hera sighed and leaned her head down against his. "Not an easy thing to ask," she muttered.
"No, but it helps when you have someone else still struggling with their own problems. You help each other. Heal each other. Save each other a little bit every day. You save me, I'll save you?"
She scoffed and flexed an arm in front of him. "I shall save us both, I am no frail maiden needing man to save me." She winked, then noticed he was staring at the bulge of her immense muscular arm. She chuckled. "So why DID you ask about plans we had that went the way of the snafu? Were you hoping still?"
He blushed hard again and coughed. "Well no, I didn't expect after all of this that that was still something either of us needed at this point. Want. But not really appropriate." She nodded in sullen agreement. "Honestly? I was still kind of shocked beyond the news stuff that you...wanted that so much with me. I mean, I was celebrating, you're like someone went into my head, took my dream girl and made her a bear. Someone I want to tell 'Damn you, you mad bastard, you made her even more unreasonably perfect!'."
She arched an eyebrow and actually giggled. It was a weird sound to make for her. "Dream girl? Flattery will get you so many places. As far as wanting it with you?" she paused teasingly, winked, and then nuzzled him with her cold nose tip. "What can say, Kelin likes the big women, and Hera likes the small guys. So not what media says should pursue, but screw that. Besides, first crush was human," she coughed a bit awkwardly and scratched at her cheek.
"I thought you said you didn't have much experience with humans," he teased. "Who was it?"
She blushed and looked away a little embarrassed. "Tyrin..."
He was sipping at his coffee and made a sputtering sound into the cub before he looked up at her again, wiping his chin. "Your adoptive brother? You're kidding me," he laughed and she scowled.
"I said crush!" she said, growling deep in her throat. "Much like I may do to you if you continue the teasing." He raised his hands in mock-surrender, although still chuckling. "Nothing happened. And I only dated Anthros when people made fun of me for saying that I liked humans. Got called a Breeder a lot too."
"Can you technically be a Breeder if you haven't bred one before?" Kelin joked.
Hera snorted, and then leaned down to whisper into his ear. "We will find out, won't we?" He blanched and she laughed. She leaned back up and then at the sky. "But as far as forgiveness...maybe I can work on that now. We both can. I am not pressing charges against Panther from before, but you still can. If wanting to."
Shaking his head and his blush fading. "No, I don't want to do that. It wasn't serious and I suspect that there are a lot of things I don't understand about all of this. I figured that Panther was the one guy's brother from the riots." Hera nodded. "But I did want to forgive him, even if he didn't ask for it or want it. And maybe by doing so, he could find it in himself to forgive you too. Maybe not today, but someday. Unless he really is just a racist, and that's his issue to get over."
Hera stared down at Kelin in amazement. "You really are amazing," she said softly and hugged him harder against her chest before she nodded. "I would like to. Try that is. If they not allow us to do it face to face maybe we can leave message."
Together they headed back to the precinct. It was getting much later in the evening, but when they walked inside and asked for Officer Heen, they were pointed back to her desk. She was still doing paperwork, and looked up at them both surprised. "Something wrong?" They quickly told her what they intended, and while she didn't seem excited about the idea, she shrugged. "I can't do a face to face, but I could let you speak over the mic in the interrogation room he's currently in. Follow me." The Hyena climbed to her feet and led the way down the hall, Hera sticking close to Kelin's side.
Neither of them had ever been on the other side of the one-way glass, the room dark and full of two other officers leaning over the microphones and taking notes as a third paced from side to side. Leroy the Panther leaned back in his chair, muscular frame slouched and disinterested. His gaze was many miles away and he didn't respond to the questions he was receiving.
After filling in the attending officers, Heen leaned forwards and pressed the intercom button. "Track, you got a second?" she asked, making the officer turn abruptly and glance behind himself. He nodded, giving a thumbs up, and scowled at the Panther. "Hey, Delgado," Heen said louder through the mic. He jerked his head dismissively. "You have someone here who wanted to talk to you."
"Whatever," he responded harshly. His voice was cracked and tired sounding. He was shackled rather heavily, the muzzle laying nearby on the table end. His eyes looked heavy and dilated as if still drugged.
Heen leaned back from the mic and waved the others away from their stations. "Let them have the room for a few minutes," she said firmly and the other officers shrugged, stood, and left them alone. Heen nodded at them, showed them the button to press, and exited as well, closing the door behind her.
Hera looked down at Kelin, swallowed hard, and leaned forwards. "Mr Delgado," she said, taking a seat at the desk. She stared straight ahead at him through the glass although she knew he couldn't see back. "Can you hear me all right?"
"Just fine, whoever you are," he said sullenly.
"My name is Hera Doring," she said, taking a deep breath before she did so. "I'm the woman you dragged out of the bar with your friends. The one who..." She trailed off, not wanting to have to say it. But she knew she had to. "The one who shot your brother at the Estarof riot."
The panther's tail jerked a bit and he looked slowly forwards. His eyes tried to narrow but he seemed off and not entirely able to focus. "Oh, you," he growled. "Come to gloat? Watch the system protect Kin-Killers like you while purists like me get punished? Rub the assault charge in my face?"
"No," she said, voice firm, Kelin there to give her some strength.
"Then what do you want, lady?" he asked, leaning back in his chair. "There ain't nothing I want from you. And I'm not apologizing."
"I do not want apology." He looked up again. "I wanted to give one, to you. Not because I regret what has been done. I regret it ever went that far, regret that I had to do it. But I am sorry that I had to do it. He put others lives in danger, hurt people, sparked the fire that claimed my friends' lives. I had to do it, or he would have hurt more. Made things worse. But if he hadn't done it, someone else probably would have. It was the Spirits' design. It has led me from my home, to there, to here." She took another deep breath, meeting his eyes through the glass. "I am sorry for what I did, but not why I did it. That is all I wanted to say, and friend of mine has something to say too."
Leroy didn't move the entire time she spoke, listening, ears perked mostly forwards and his frame hunched down. His eyes were inscrutable and not focused on anything entirely but it was obvious he was paying attention. He waited for her to finish, then sighed and clicked his teeth together. His ears swiveled half way back. "Suppose that's it then. All Spirits. They put him there, the girl, you. Convenient." He shook his head then, looking down. He closed those bright eyes, and sighed deeply. "I told him not to go..." he said quietly. "I told him it would only push things too far. That he'd get mixed in with those weirdos from 'Make them Bleed' and probably get arrested. He hadn't been taking his pills either. It was a timebomb waiting to happen..." He looked up at the ceiling and coiled his tail around one of the legs of the chair.
"Whatever," he said. "It doesn't bring him back, or your friends back. It doesn't make you innocent, but it doesn't mean you actually wanted to. Wrong place, wrong time for everyone." He jerked his head. "Go in peace or whatever, my Spirit shall not haunt you." He didn't make the honorific phrase very empathically but it still had weight to it. "And I beg that you are Haunted no longer by my brother." He glanced up again. "So what did your friend want?"
Nodding, and wiping at her eyes, Hera leaned back and Kelin replaced her next to the mic, pushing down the button. "Hi...Leroy was it?" The Panther nodded, looking back up at the ceiling. "This is Kelin. The human."
The panther jerked up, ears going back and eyes wider. "Oh...oh shit." He looked to be going through a fair few emotions, wavering between racist bravado and fear that this could actually send him to prison. Attacking a human in a protected city.
Kelin was quick to cut in. "I'm fine. It was just a couple cuts and minor concussion. I've had worse at family get togethers. And I'm not pressing charges. I wanted to also say I was sorry. I've learned a lot about Anthros since I moved here, and I wish I could have met him before. Maybe if he had had help, if he wanted it, things could have been different. I know you don't care for someone like me to say that, but it was important to me to say. That's all, I guess."
Leroy seemed to calm a bit more and then hung his head. "...thanks kid. I didn't mean for things to go that far. I don't blame or hate you for being what you are. I used to get along with Humans... no reason why I can't work on fixing my own problems. It doesn't mean I'm sorry for why I did it..." he glanced to the side as if aware of where Hera was sitting. "But I can be for what I did." He nodded once, Hera returning the gesture silently.
Kelin smiled weakly. "See you around." Hera glanced down at Kelin warily but knew that was just what kind of person that he was.
"Sure, kid," growled Leroy, actually cracking a small smile. "And Ms. Doring," he called out. "I'm sorry too. About your squad mates. Hua."
Hera shuddered a tiny bit and leaned forwards once more to tap the mic. "Hua." She turned then and Kelin followed her out. They met eyes with Heen, nodded their thanks, and then the two of them left. The sun had officially set and street lights were now on, leaving them to either hail a cab or walk home. They elected to walk, the evening was not overly cold and they wanted to spend more time together.
They talked about many things, casual things, serious things, about family and friends, old relationships and fears and dreams. Kelin asked several questions about more specific details about the riot, like how she had been injured. "A rioter from the Human side threw a sort of explosive. Landed in the truck we were using as part of the fence. Caused a lot of damage and hurt a few people. Shrapnel hit me hard."
They kept walking. It felt like they weren't even walking that fast, taking as much time as they could, but eventually they came up to Hera's apartment building. The streets were brightly lit by the lamps overhead and she turned to look down at him. Her chest was warm and she smiled softly as she leaned down to give him a goodnight kiss. He returned it, standing on the tips of his toes as they shared in that wonderful feeling again. But Hera, so full of warmth and the gentle buzz of something she hadn't felt in years wanted more...
Deepening the kiss came as instinct, moving her lips on his more fervently and while he didn't catch on at first, he responded in kind and eagerly. Her tongue tested his lips, and he opened them to allow her hesitantly. His own was soft and pliant underneath her thick and powerful limb, and like this, his taste was much stronger and easier to sample.
She placed her paws on either side of his face, trapping him there as she kissed him harder than before, growling softly and then slowly pulling back, sliding her tongue out last to make it linger as long as possible. He gasped up at her and panted, eyes hazy, which made her grin. "I know...today has been rough..." she said. "And we agree, would be perhaps not appropriate to still jump, maybe come in and spend a little more time? I'm not...ready to be alone yet after finding out my boyfriend is staying with me."
Kelin groaned softly and shivered at her low tone, then tried to focus on what she was asking. "So...come in for...not sex?" he asked, both parts relieved and disappointed.
"Perhaps not the sex," she trailed off teasingly, paws stroking his cheeks and letting him rest his hands on her shoulders. "But maybe...more of that." She pecked his lips once more, and he tried to rise up to keep it going before realizing what she said.
"Oh. Oh!" he blushed and then looked into her eyes deeply. He hesitated, and she suspected she knew why. She grinned. "Would...I be a horrible, shallow, callous and needy excuse for a male if I said 'Yes please!'."
"No..." she breathed out hotly and nuzzled his nose with hers. "Unless I am horrible, shallow, callous, needy woman. Needy I may be though..." She turned and slid her paw down to grip his waiting hand on her shoulder. Wordlessly she walked up the steps, tapped in the code to the door, and opened it wide for him. "After you..." she said hungrily as the little prey came across the threshold to her lair. Today was one of the best, subjectively, days of her entire life. And it didn't even have to be over yet.
