americanmcgee
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Good Cop, Bad Cop
🕑 Added 2021-10-21 00:42:03 +0000 UTCDear Insane Children,
We continue to work through some of Alice's memory scenes from the time period prior to the fire (PF). And this morning, Adam sent over another batch from the scenes where Lizzie and Alice are playing in the living room, break a tea set, and are scolded by mom.
All of this is meant to link into an eventual reveal... but I won't say more on that because spoilers.
So the scene setup is...
(Slumber Encounter #4 - Guilt)
[Requiem, K. 626: Lacrimosa - (Mozart)]
A cut scene plays as Alice continues to spin joyously, as she spins alone, an ethereal memory unfolds around her. She is watching another memory of her past.
Alice is very young. Lizzie is laughing with Alice, as they both hold hands, spinning together in the family living room. As they spin, Alice fumbles her step, and trips, knocking over a porcelain tea set. It shatters on the ground, and Alice cuts her knee badly on the broken white shards as she too hits the ground.
Crying, Alice does not know what to do. She squirms, watching the strange red liquid cascade from her wound.
Elizabeth
Oh Alice, you’ve taken another tumble! Here, let me help you.
Lizzie’s words are warm, and soothing. Alice stops crying as her older sister bandages her knee.
Elizabeth
There, good as new.
Alice and Lizzie smile at one another.
Hearing the ruckus, Alice’s Mother enters the room.
Alice’s Mother is shocked, and disciplines the girl’s foolish behaviour.
ALICE’S MOTHER
Girls! This area is not for playtime! And look, Alice you’ve hurt yourself again, and ruined our tea set. When will you learn?
Alice’s eyes widen as she blinks back her tears.
ALICE’S MOTHER
It’s off to your rooms for the both of you. No supper!
As the girls sadly saunter off to their rooms, Alice’s mother is left cleaning up the mess. Both girls are stopped by their Father as they leave. He kneels down eye-to-eye with Alice’s height and addresses them both.
ALICE’S FATHER
Lizzie, I expect a better example from you. You must look after your little sister. Not just when she’s hurt.
Lizzie cheekily jests;
Elizabeth
Oh, the little adventurer can take a tumble or two.
Their Father smiles,
ALICE’S FATHER
That she can. And she will.
He then addresses Alice. Meeting her gaze, he explains;
ALICE’S FATHER
There’s something to learn here for yourself, Alice. Your Mother might be harsh at times, but she only wants the best for you.
Run along girls, do as your Mother says. There’s a time and a place for games, and that time may be cut short as you grow. You’ll know when the time is right.
Alice watches her younger self and sister hold hands as they wander up the stairs to their room. Alice reaches out to the memory of her Father, he fades and crumbles to ash at her touch.
[END SCENE=
And to these more recent sketches, I replied:
Short reply: D can work but I need to discuss with Alex some places where we work to soften the portrayal of Alice's mom so that the audience doesn't come away thinking she's just a meany.
Long reply: I think all three compositions look good but... Again, speaking from the perspective of a parent, I feel D (with the pointed art) is too harsh considering the situation. Here's why:
First, the mother's primary focus would be on nurturing the injured child. You can't nurture and scold at the same time - you have to choose between one of the two. And unless we're trying to portray Alice's mom as a mean-old-scold then I think we need to be careful with the angry-scolding stuff.
Second, Lizzie's reaction would be warmer, closer, and more caring... right? She loves her little sister. And she knows these kinds of little accidents happen - because they always happen. Trust me, we have at least one accident per day around here... and except in cases of extreme carelessness (rare), the main focus is on soothing the child. The secondary focus is on soothing whoever else was involved in the incident - because if you're there when a child gets hurt, you feel terrible about it... even if it isn't really anyone's fault.
Way to support both ideas: Keep (D) but also add a quick aside scene where Alice's mom is seen giggling/laughing with the father - she was playing a part (perhaps too well) and they both know it. Lizzie knows it too. But the lesson was provided (as needed) and the girls (mainly Alice) won't forget it too soon.
So given that context, which image do you think best achieves the goals for this scene?
The scene letters (A,B,C,D) are in the bottom right corner of the images. Let us know in the comments below what you think!
From Shanghai with No Dinner,
-American
Comments
Stephanie Groth
C or B
Saleh Abu-Rashid
I loved that little story.
Greyson Kehm
I think B is the best for this scene.
Sarah McKeegan
D
B works best for me with the position of both girls & with giving a small amount of of comfort to Alice but her facial expression shows she’s not not impressed with what’s happened
I felt C the moment I saw it. A little recalcitrance from Alice, tenderness and assurance from the mother, and something like contrition from Lizzie. But why no dinner? Have you been naughty?
C
B shows the faces of everyone so I clearly read the situation but... I feel more atracted to A. I think It suits better the moment.
Phil Swabo
B is the image I feel conveys the aftermath well, though looking rather almost angry, the emotion from mom should lean more towards disappointment. Scolding as described for this scene is not inherently “why didn’t you… “or “It was your responsibility to…” But more of “you know better than to…” and “I expected more from you…” Worries and fear I feel walk hand in hand wanting only what’s best and driving wishes for improvement. Children mirror Parents and look up to them to learn how situations are dealt with. Lizzie’s looking up to mom which may be because she was just holding Alice and shares a similar eye height. Whilst mom is towering above them both holding Alice protectively. This dynamic is visually compact and emotionally concise and makes the relationship they share that more believable, as expressions can be seen as reactions relating to each other.
I prefer B. It feels like even though their mother shows a bit of blaming motions, but more care about the two girls. Also, I really love Lizzie's position in this one. To me, it does look like a sister who's trying to take care of her little sister. This position feels much more closely to the relationship compare to the others.
Nicholas Brokaw
Now that I can see better (larger screen) and have read Derek and Austin’s takes on it, I am leaning towards C.
I think I really like C Alices mother is definitely concerned and I like that Alice is running to embrace her. It says something that Alice runs to her for comfort rather than sit and stare in fear for being punished. She wants to be comforted and the her mother is being stern she would comfort Alice as she was in pain. Even if they are both to be disciplined to some degree. I also like Lizzies sort of guilty stance. That she feels so bad about Alice cutting her knee but sort of relieved that their mother came to comfort Alice specifically. Really well done.
I like c. Mom seems to be comforting using phisical contact but also showing Alice the importance of her mistake. I also like Lizzie in B, kneeling next to Alice and mom. A feels a little too comforting and D is not comforting at all.
Nicholas Brokaw
I can only see it on a small screen right now, but I say D.
