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Re:life chapter (10)
🕑 Added 2025-03-25 12:23:52 +0000 UTC**[Danial's POV]**
"This is the last time I'm going out with you," I grumbled as I climbed up the stairs with Monica in tow.
"Oh, grow up! So what? You came with me to the video store… it's not like I took you with me to rob a bank," Monica said in a chirpy voice.
"Oh, it's not the visit that sealed the deal for me. It's you asking the clerk if there was a doctor-themed porno because, and I quote, *'My baby cousin here is a doctor.'* while trying to get me embarrassed… What were you **thinking**?" I exclaimed in frustration.
I really should have made an excuse back then…
You see, after **Phoebe** busted us watching the movie, she got mad and made us promise to return it as soon as possible. But of course, she didn't trust the guys to do it. Plus, Joey had to work, and Rachel said she was going to go out looking for her sister, so the duty was placed on Monica.
She didn't want to go alone, so I had to go with her because Chandler didn't want to…
Anyway, I opened the door to the apartment and entered, startling Chandler, who threw the book he was reading under the couch—only for it to slide across the room and stop right between Monica's legs.
"Hey, sweetie," Monica, who was right behind me, greeted Chandler and bent down to take the book.
"*Chicken Soup for the Soul*?" Monica said while looking at him.
"There's no back to this couch," Chandler complained.
"Why are you reading this? You hate this stuff," Monica asked him, clearly amused.
"I know. I just thought I'd give it a shot. Maybe one of these stories would make me cry, and then you wouldn't think I was all dead inside," he told her, and I could see he meant it.
"Oh, that's so sweet of you," Monica said sweetly. "Chandler, I don't care if you can't cry. I love you."
"Oh, that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest," Chandler retorted sarcastically.
*This is stupid*, I thought while watching the situation…
"Stop it…" Monica tried to say something, but Chandler cut her off. "No, I mean, come on—seriously, think about it. We get married. I'm up at the **altar**, and I'm like this…" He made the most ridiculous nonchalant expression I'd ever seen.
"I don't care, because I know you'll be feeling it all in here," Monica told him in a soothing voice while poking his chest.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. And if we have a baby one day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room, and you don't cry? So what?"
*Ok, now I know for a fact that this is a trap.*
"And if we take him to college and return home and see his empty room for the first time and you've got nothing? It won't matter to me," Monica said and smiled at him—which, if he'd been smart enough, he would've recognized as the *I'm lying through my teeth* smile.
"Okay, I won't worry about this then," Chandler smiled happily, oblivious to the execution he'd just signed.
"And… and I die from a long illness, and you're writing my eulogy, and you open the disk drawer and find a note from me that says, *'I'll always be with you,'* and you still can't shed a tiny tear? I know you'll be crying a river inside."
And that's how Chandler ended up sleeping on the couch that night. I **snickered** a little inside **my head**.
"Oh, I love you," Chandler said, clearly moved but oblivious. Monica hit him on the chest and stood up angrily.
"What's wrong with you?!" she exclaimed.
"What?!"
"What? You can't shed a tear for your dead wife?! I left you a note from the beyond!"
"So you didn't mean any of that?" he asked, bewildered.
"No, you robot!" she yelled and stormed into her room, slamming the door.
"I can't believe you fell for that, man…" I commented, smirking at his misfortune.
"And now you're an expert on this subject too?" he retorted.
"No, but I know a losing battle when I see one. If I were you, I'd have either tried to get more details on the story to distract her or faked a cry by rubbing my eyes. You should know by now that women ask ridiculous questions sometimes….You've got to prepare ridiculous ways to distract them if you want to sleep in your own bed."
"Ah, Danial White **Love Doctor**," Chandler mocked, waving his hands as if presenting a title.
"Chandler, I know we started on the wrong foot—partly my fault—but I'm not mocking you. I'm telling you something you *should* know. Get your act together before Monica decides she doesn't want this anymore…" I said, locking eyes with him. The seriousness in my voice made him shift uncomfortably.
He leaned back onto the sofa placed his hand on his face, and after a few breaths whispered, "Thanks."
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The door of the apartment swung open and Rachel barged in, frantically looking around.
She stopped to greet us and asked, "Hey guys, have you guys seen Jill? I couldn't find her anywhere!"
"No, we haven't," Me and Chandler replied at the same time, shaking our heads.
Monica came out of her room when she heard Rachel's voice, greeted her, and then sat next to Chandler on the sofa while crossing her arms…
"Is Ross home? Maybe I should call him and see if he's actually seen her anywhere?" Rachel asked herself more than us while heading toward the window to try and see if Ross was home before she calls him.
**"Huuuuhh!"** She inhaled a sharp breath at what she saw and went directly toward the phone, dialing Ross's number frantically…
As soon as Ross on the other end answered, she started directly asking without even bothering with pleasantries. "What is my sister doing there? And why're the drapes shut?!" Her voice more mad than concerned.
I signaled to Chandler to open the speakerphone so that we can all hear what's happening while Rachel's attention is on Ross. He got it quickly…
"Okay, Rach, calm… calm down. She's really upset… and we're just talking," Ross's voice came from the speakerphone.
"Ross, she's trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!!"
"So that's the only reason she could be here, huh? It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that maybe I'm a good listener… or maybe I put on a great slide show…"
The only thing Rachel could do was facepalm. That was the only thing any of us could do for that matter, though Rachel was disappointed while we were amused.
"Ross, I'm telling you!! She is USING you to get back at me!!"
"You know what? I think I can take care of myself. Talk to you later… goodbye!"
The phone call ended, making Rachel put the phone down in anger and Monica spring up to check if the phone was okay…
- - - -
**[At the same time in the coffeehouse]**
Phoebe entered the café after she had solved the problem she had with the **porn** films. She spotted Joey sitting on the couch reading a newspaper like he's not supposed to be working here.
"Hey," she greeted him and sat down beside him.
"Hey."
"So, I just came from the company Ursula works for," she told him while taking off her coat.
"No, no… not you too!" Joey said with a whiny voice.
"Oh, no. I went there to pick up Phoebe Buffay's checks… there were **a lot** of them," she told him while smiling, clearly still happy by the way she dealt with the problem.
"Nice!!"
"And I won't have to go back there anymore because I gave them my 'correct address.'"
"That's great, but isn't it gonna bother you that people still gonna think you're a porn star?" Joey asked her, clearly worried.
"Oh, no. I know how to handle it," she answered confidently.
That was when the couple sitting at the table across from them stood up to leave. While the man helped his girlfriend with her coat, he kept glancing at Phoebe as if trying to figure out where he'd seen her before.
"You're trying to figure out where you know me from? Alright, I'll give you a hint: from porn!!! Your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie!!!" She stood up and yelled at the couple while they rushed out of the café…
She sat back down and looked at Joey, all smiley, and said, "See!!" making him only reply with an awkward "Yeah, yeah," and picking up his newspaper to avoid the situation.
- - - - - - - - -
**[Monica's apartment]**
Ross entered the apartment only to see Monica and Chandler sitting at the dining table reading a magazine together, Rachel on the sofa reading a book, and Danial by the window reading a book…
"Hey," he greeted as he closed the apartment's door.
"You uh, you may have been right about Jill," he started walking toward Rachel as he told her that…
"Ah, I knew it! What happened?" Rachel asked.
"She kissed me," he replied while fidgeting slightly.
"What? You two kissed?"
"Maybe we should give them some privacy?" Chandler whispered to Monica, only for her to shush him. "Shuuush!!"
"Look, I tried not to kiss her, okay?" Ross tried to justify himself.
"It sure doesn't sound like it. It's easy not to kiss someone. You just don't kiss them… See? Look at us right now!! Not kissing," Rachel angrily said.
"Let me finish, okay? She started kissing me, and I didn't stop her. I guess I wasn't thinking…" Ross weakly said.
"That's right, you weren't thinking!! Why don't I give you something to think about?" Rachel said as she pulled up her sleeves aggressively.
"Wait, wait, hold on…." Ross said. "But then I started thinking and stopped the kissing."
"Well, thank you for taking your tongue out of my sister's mouth long enough to tell me that," Rachel sarcastically replied while giving Ross the stink eye.
Monica and Chandler looked at each other, wholly amused by the situation, while Danial was wishing he had a smartphone just so he could take a video of this.
"Look, I realized that if anything happened with me and Jill, then nothing would ever happen between… us."
"What?"
"I mean, look… I don't know if anything is ever going to happen with us again… but I don't want to know that it never could, so I stopped it…"
*Ok, that was smooth*, even Danial had to admit it…
"Then your sister got mad and broke my projector," Ross said in a sad voice.
Rachel stood there for a second processing what she'd just heard, so she did the first thing that popped into her head and nudged Ross playfully with her leg while saying, "Thank you."
Chandler chose this moment to fake cry, gaining the attention of everyone in the room.
"Oh my God! Are you crying?" Monica asked, a little surprised.
"I just don't see why those two can't work things out," Chandler replied while crying.
Danial knew that was his **cue** to leave, so he just said he had things to do and went back to his apartment.
He knew Monica well enough, and now that Chandler cried, she'd direct her attention to him so He decided to do the smart thing and leave before that happened…
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