hunter20
patreon
Hp: scamming the world
🕑 Added 2025-07-30 15:06:58 +0000 UTCI found myself standing in a strange place, a place that's almost impossible to actually describe to a mortal mind. Is it real? Is it not? Is it a dimension? A spiritual plane of existence? A metaphysical representation of the world? I don’t fucking know.
Because this place looked like a mesh of different information and colors put together; it appeared static, gray, gloomy, dark, yet colorful and white at the same time.
It actually looked like what I imagined a paradox would look like if you could actually see one.
[Inquiry?]
I felt the question yanking me back from my musings—yes, felt, not heard—it was the kind of spiritual communication that doesn’t really use ordinary speech. Like how I communicate with the old man or Gaia—a feelings-and-intent-based communication.
"Oh, hi! I am Harry Potter, a wizard extraordinaire, and to be honest with you, I first came here to see if I could actually try and make a deal with you, but now… now I am more interested in why you feel like that…" Definitely not a great first impression—I know—but what can you do? I am curious.
[… Unidentified …]
"Oh? That may be because I wasn’t actually born in your world? I was inserted here to do a job and then leave. How can you not know about this?"
[…Error… unauthorized?…]
"Hmm? You’re asking me? How would I know that, and it's not like I can do anything about it either. Still, I am really curious now as to why you look and feel like that. Like you're incomplete?…" I trailed off as I looked—and I mean truly looked—at the source of the voice, which resembled a small ball of kaleidoscopic colors.—No, really, it looked like a soccer ball of concentrated, ever-changing colors.
[Explanation]
"…that's a lot of information…" I muttered as I tried to comprehend as much as I could as quickly as I could. The amount of information I got was staggering; it was only thanks to my Grimoire and parallel mind that my mind didn’t explode.
[Inquiry]
I didn’t even get the chance to complain about the whole info dump I just received before I was bombarded with another question.
"Oh, you mean this? I don’t actually know what it is, but I call it null energy. And yeah, sure, I can give you some, but as you are now, I doubt you would be able to do anything with it…" I said as I sent a ball of null energy towards it? Her? Him?
[Regret]
The colors of its form dimmed slightly; the kaleidoscopic colors gained a more prominent bruised purple and gray kind of shade.
"Told you," I grinned. "But don’t worry; I think I have a solution for your predicament," I said, conveying what and how I intended to help with utmost seriousness—it didn’t matter if the plan was half-baked or nigh impossible to accomplish; I just saw an opportunity and took it—plus, I wanted to see if this idea would actually work.
[Intrigue]
"Yeah, I think it's worth a shot too. At least this way, you could potentially gain a way to reshape yourself, complete your missing parts, and maybe have a chance to ascend…" I tried to sneak in some good points to sweeten the deal as I rubbed my hands together like some kind of greedy, black-hearted merchant who was just one step away from robbing someone blind.
[Uncertainty…]
"Relax," I grinned at the now flickering lights. "We are going to make a deal. A binding contract that ensures that I complete my part of the agreement as long as I gain what I want."
[Inquiry]
"Oh, nothing much—just an administrator-like authority over the world for as long as I am here…"
[…]
….
[… Agreement …]
The sheer hesitance and reluctance that accompanied said agreement was staggering, but I couldn’t care less right now because I just made the deal of a lifetime…
For those who are wondering what all this gibberish is about, let me explain. In simple terms, I just scammed the world—but if you actually want to know how I got to this point, then I’ll have to go back a few days…
[Flashback]
…after putting my daughter to sleep, I decided to get up and do something other than reading stories and fantasizing about how awesome it would be if I could actually visit or live in one of them…
That's how I found myself studying the devil contract I had placed on my kitchen table. I decided to start by casting a simple scanning spell, which didn’t do much other than pointing out that it was, in fact, a magical contract—like, no shit, Sherlock, what else would it be?
'But that one was on me; I was stupid enough to try a basic spell on it,' I thought sarcastically as I scratched the back of my head.
Shaking my head slightly, I started casting more and more complicated spells like: magic analysis, material identification, aspect and concept identification, and a lot more until I dissected everything about said contract—which, by the way, took more than two hours of spell casting to accomplish.
Another hour after that went into organizing the shit ton of data I had just collected, and then another one to actually understand it.
Still, I didn’t feel tired or anything; in fact, I felt invigorated. This little piece of leather gave me a deeper insight into the nature of devils than I would have gotten anytime soon…
Like the facts that devils are more prone to chaos, evil, corruption, and sin because these were the concepts that went into their creation. I guess that's why YHWH allowed their creation in the first place, huh?
Because even though their existence is unnecessary, they still contribute to the world in some way…
Now, how did I know all that by just analyzing some old leather parchment? Well, that's because I actually analyzed the magic infused into it more than the material.
It's the first time I got a chance to study devil magic this closely—scratch that—it’s the first time I got to study any different type of magic this close, period.
It's exhilarating…
Nevertheless, these few hours were very productive, especially after I finally understood how said contracts were created. I got step-by-step instructions on contract creation, and all it took was a little past-reading spell—man, you gotta love divination…
Sigh. Anyway, what's important in all of this information dump was that I got to witness how devil magic interacts, reacts to, and works alongside the concept of exchange. While said concept was not foreign to me—seeing as I am an alchemist—the way the devils of old used said concept was enlightening.
Their use of the inequivalent aspect of the exchange concept is a very good example as to why you shouldn’t do deals with the devil, because believe it or not, devils can choose how to interpret what you ask for in all kinds of different ways.
For example, let's say a human wanted to have magic, so he summoned a devil and asked to have and be able to use magic for the remainder of his life in exchange for his soul.
The devil can go about fulfilling his wish in a multitude of different ways, and the easiest would be pumping him with some magic and watching him die as the demonic energy eats away his life force, marking his deal complete and his payment ready…
‘Moral of the story: if you’re not an expert, don’t do deals with devils,’ I thought as I shook my head.
I summoned my Grimoire into my hands again and opened it; the papers fluttered until they stopped on what I needed to read: the new warding stones, aka the ward bank.
It’s a new project that took a lot of simulation to get a working theory on how to accomplish it. Not because it’s particularly difficult or anything—no—but because I didn’t have more information on warding stones.
All I had was the data I collected by scanning the material of different ward stones I got from different origins.
The best I found were the stones that originated from India, China, Egypt, and the Underworld. The material was almost exactly the same as the rest of the samples, but these ones had more capacity to absorb natural mana than the rest.
It took me some time to figure out the reason, but once I did, I had the bare minimum of the information needed to start researching the feasibility of my warding bank idea.
The idea itself was simple: I wanted to create a magical stone that generates and absorbs mana simultaneously while having a bigger capacity to store warding spells, arrays, barriers, etc.…
It was a nice idea on paper, but how to bring said idea to life was anything but nice. My Grimoire simulated more than a hundred thousand theoretical hypotheses on how to possibly create such a thing, and only five were actually feasible; of these five, I had the power and capability to maybe accomplish one of them.
I said *maybe* I could—not that I *would* do it, at least not anytime soon—no matter how much easier it would make my job in this world.
The theory was simple: search for a place that wasn’t claimed by anyone—easier said than done—Gods and supernatural entities were everywhere in this world…
Anyway, after I find said place—if I could—I would have to start preparing for a massive transmutation ritual that would turn said place into the mother of all magical hotspots in the world.
This place would be turned into a semi-magical reactor that absorbs and generates magical energies in abundance—everything inside the ritual perimeter would be turned into a milky-white, stone-like structure depending on what the place is—that could be mined and then processed into ward banks.
It all sounded great in theory, but I still haven’t gotten to the clusterfuck that creating this place would cause. Ignoring the cost of creating such a place for a moment—which, believe it or not, was actually not one of the downsides.
The immediate downsides would be the war that would erupt as soon as the ritual is finished. Gods, youkai, spirits, fey, devils, fallen, humans, dragons, and whatever the fuck supernatural entity left would want this place for one simple reason: it was an artificial, virtually infinite well of pure magical and natural energy—it would bolster the strength of whatever faction claimed it.
I may be arrogant and full of myself, but I wasn’t ready to fight the whole world just yet—maybe in a few years? But not yet—and that’s just the primary downside.
Someone could say something like, "Couldn’t you just ward it from the world or hide it somehow?" but that would be a stupid question because a ritual like this can’t be hidden for one single reason—the ritual would absorb about 20% of the mana and natural energy of the world. A dip like that can’t be hidden.
‘Yeah, as soon as the ritual starts, everyone and their mother would feel it,’ I shook my head a little, trying to clear my thoughts.
Still, I now have this nagging feeling that I *should* do it, and knowing myself, I probably would, but first I have to come up with some really good plan.
‘Hmmm…’ I hummed as I tapped my fingers on the table, deep in thought. That’s when it hit me.
‘I wanted to make a deal with the world before, right? What would happen if I actually succeeded in getting more than what I wanted?’ I was getting excited just thinking about the possibilities, but I couldn’t be hasty. I still didn’t know if that was possible.
And so I turned to the only person that actually could answer my question: Gaia. That day was one of the longest chats I had with her, or more accurately, one of the first lectures I got from her.
Oh, she had words about my insanity, impulsiveness, and other traits that I will vehemently deny existing until the end of time.
Still, I couldn’t actually do anything but listen to her, for two simple reasons: I was connected to her, like all the time, and she was a very old being, so she can be very patient, as she demonstrated when I tried to ignore her the first few times.
The second was that she was actually the closest thing I got to a mother, and thus I kinda had to listen to her? At least that’s what the books say…
Still, after a very long lecture, she finally relented and taught me how to go about connecting to the world…
