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Tondemo Skill - 321 - Return of the Natural Hair
🕑 Added 2022-01-20 11:27:40 +0000 UTCIt has been three days since I handed over the [Divine Medicine-Hair Power!] to the Guild Master.
During that three days, I spent my time relaxing at home, supervising the slaves and cooking up some pre-made dishes for our inevitable travel.
Fer complained about not being able to go hunting and ran about the large garden with Dora-chan and Sui to relieve stress.
[9] All my slaves were working hard together. The adults took their jobs seriously while the children assisted their parents, even Lotte-chan.
“Because we get to eat delicious things every day, Lotte will do her best!”
I’d already handed a magic bag full of Orc, Blue Bull and Cockatrice meat to the [9] ladies in charge of cooking. [2] Everyone appeared to be happy about getting to eat meat every day. I had also given them a large variety of different seasoning sauces and packets on top of the standard salt and pepper. [5]
My employees kept raving about all the different flavours they could enjoy, especially Lotte-chan.
“Lotte loves yakiniku sauce and teriyaki sauce! It makes everything all so very, very yummy~~!” [5]
[10] As expected, the sweet, sour and savoury combination of teriyaki and yakiniku sauces are popular with children. [1] I’d already given Aiya and Teresa the run down on how to use these sauces: Meat stir-fries, grilled meat and vegetables with a splash of either sauce would make any dish delicious.
I also got them rice as well as [10] the ceramic pots to cook the rice in. Since everyone had no trouble eating this grain, I thought rice would be a more appropriate source of carbohydrates than bread since food cooked with traditional Japanese sauces goes better with rice. [10] Cooking rice is an art form by itself but the ladies seemed to pick it up quickly.
In short, their food is good and everyone seemed to enjoy it.
In truth, I had been a little worried about how those stupid twins would perform but when the time to work came, they did their job properly and was focused on keeping the place secure. I think a lot had to be credited to Tabasa for controlling them well. [6] Peter and Bartel had no problem following her lead either.
Hopefully, everything will keep going smoothly from now on.
[10] Well, that’s all I can do for internal security. For the rest, I would have to rely on outside assistance.
This is why I’d like the Guild Master to contact Count Langridge for me as soon as possible. [1] Hopefully, the Divine Medicine - Hair Power! will serve as an effective opening move for future relationships.
[5] [11] Three days should be enough for the Guild Master to ‘test out' the product. Time to see whether my investment works.
Yes, let’s pay a visit to the Adventurer’s Guild. [5]
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As per usual, the staff immediately went off to fetch the Guild Master when they saw me.
[11] What was not so usual was the appearance of the Guild Master.
“Oooh~ you’re here! Well? What do you think?”
Guild Master Willem was grinning widely but [11] that was not the thing that caught my attention.
“G-Guild Master, y-your hair…”
“Fufun, how does it look? Aren’t I more manly now?”
He certainly looked very cheerful. [1] I’d even say he looked excessively happy.
[11] Willem’s receding hairline had made a comeback, and the pitiful comb-over of greying pale hair had turned into a wave of smoothed brown curls.
[11] “Gyahahaha!!”
[11] At least, someone’s very happy today.
After enjoying my dumbfounded appearance for a while, he happily invited me to the Guild Master’s room.
[11] “That’s quite a drastic change in just three days,” I mused. Still totally taken aback.
“Aa, it’s all thanks to the shampoo and tonic you gave me,” he touched his hair tenderly. “The hair tonic, in particular, is a great lifesaver.”
[5] “Well, calling it a life savour is a bit…”
[11] “I was so surprised to see new hair growing in what had been a barren field. Moreover, look here!”
[11] 'Here' being the brown hair on the side of his temples.
[11] “Brown hair actually grew from the roots of the white hair! How amazing is that?! This is certainly an incredible result. This tonic of yours certainly blew all those other fake medicines and potions out of the water!”
[11] “I- I see…”
[11] “This morning, my hair was long enough to be cut, and so I had all the grey trimmed off!” [3] So saying, Guild Master Willem ran a hand through his short but very thick curly hair. “How many years had it been since I had hair like this? Ten? Twenty? I feel so youthful! Gahahaha!”
‘Recapturing your lost youth’ indeed. Looks like the [Appraisal] did not exaggerate its description at all.
“I must say, the result is quite incredible.”
“Umu, I am living proof that the tonic works.”
“So, this means…” I prompted.
“Count Langridge must be informed of this. I must show him the brand new me! Hwahahahaha!!”
[11] I- I see, in fact, I really do see. [5] You just can't wait to stand in front of Count Langridge and show off, can't you?
[11] “So, er, when do you plan to visit the Count?”
“Within the next few days. Do not worry, once the Count knows about the effect of this tonic, he will want to see you at once. Hair tonics like this are like Divine Medicines to people like us. So be prepared!”
“A... Divine Medicine… yes, I see.” [5]
“Speaking of which, the few merchants I met these few days also went a little crazy,” [5]
[11] “Eh? Is that so?”
[11] “Compared to Adventurers who look after our health more, merchants are more likely to lose hair since they depended on their brains a lot to do business. In fact, my hair has gotten worse off when I became a Guild Master, all that thinking is not good for hair.”
[11] Here, he stroked his hair tenderly again. [5]
“Naturally, I did not reveal the source of my miracle cure but… all of them want to know, will you be selling this tonic?”
“Hmm, I haven’t given it much thought. But, if there’s a demand, I don’t see why not?”
“What are you talking about? Just look at the effectiveness of this tonic. Of course, there will be a demand. I, for one, will buy it for sure. Though I still have some of the potion left, I must get my hands on as many as I can afford to!”
There was a burning light in the Guild Master’s eyes as he said this.
“Um, well, if I do sell it. I’ll probably do it through Lambert’s, since he’s my merchant contact here.”
“Lambert’s Company? Good, let me know when it’s available for sale.”
I could only answer in the affirmative under the passionate stare of this Guild Master who was willing to spend his own money to buy this special Divine Hair Tonic.
[Gumihou: Hahaha, Willem-san is so cute. Lol]
[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs
[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs
[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue
[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue
[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information
[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose
[7] Add Dialogue Tag
[8] Creative Licence Taken
[9] …is the author paid by word count? The names of all 14 people kept being mentioned… Gumi has condensed it to ‘the adults’, ‘the children’ ‘the ladies’.
[10] Logistics of foodstuff, cookware and security, these parts of the chapter was not very detailed. Focussed more attention on this than Note 9.
[11] Rewritten bits of the ‘Beautiful hair revelation’ so that it makes sense. Also, replaced the:
The Guild Master said so and told me how it all happened.
As I explained, after washing the hair thoroughly with the shampoo, he said that he put a small amount of the [God’s medicine hair power] while massaging it so as to rub it all over the scalp.
“I wasn’t surprised at the results next morning. My new hair grew slightly at the hairline where my hair had fallen down!”
… Gumi experienced deja vu.
Gave Willem a more flamboyant dialogue to describe his happiness.
