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Tondemo Skill - 405 - Worrying over the Lower Levels
🕑 Added 2022-08-02 13:40:47 +0000 UTCGumihou: Mu… a distinctive lack of ‘show don’t tell’ re the meeting with the Guild Master. Gumi had to craft the dialogue according to his perceived personality. A smiley, pot-bellied, merchant-minded Guild Master.
The next day, I went to the Adventurer’s Guild with Demiurgos-sama’s words hanging over my head.
“Haahh, so we’re really going…”
““What are you muttering about?””
“”Ou, [5] isn’t that the reason we’re here?”
All my familiars were in a good mood, including Sui who was riding on Fer’s back instead of napping in her leather bag. They were all really motivated…
Sui was singing, “”Dungeon~ Dungeon~ ♪”” as she vibrated on Fer’s back.
I had informed everyone of Demiurgos-sama’s cryptic words over breakfast, but…
“”So? That basically means we’ll probably see some action, yeah?””
“”Umu, he even say you could call on him. So, I don’t see a problem [5].” [5]
“I don’t you quite understand it. I mean, God himself said we could call on him. That means he expected us to be troubled enough to call for him if we go to the lower levels, right? [5] So, I was thinking, we should skip the lowest level...”
“Why? How are we to clear a dungeon if we don’t explore the lowest levels? Especially when there’s a rival there to test my strength, huah hahahaha!! [5]”
[8] ““Heh, with Fer and I in your party, what’s to be afraid of? [5]”” Dora-chan smirked.
Still, I can’t seem to dislodge the worry in my chest. [5]
“”Oi, let’s hurry up. We still have to go to the Adventurer’s Guild first before we can go to the dungeon.””
“That’s right, I heard they managed to map the dungeon down to the 30th floor, so I want that too.”
I also have the Teleportation Stone, and then there’s Demiurgos-sama’s previous instruction to visit the 20th floor. However, this new oracle worries me… [5]
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“Woah, it’s huge,” [1] I muttered as I stared up at Brixt Adventurer’s Guild building.
The building was larger than the one in Doran or Avering. [2] Like all other guilds, it was very busy in the morning. Stepping inside caused a big commotion, as usual.
Anyway, I went in and picked the reception with the least people lining up in front.
““Oi, what’s taking so long?”” [5]
“”It can’t be helped since there are so many people,”” I shot back reasonably.
“”Sui’s fallen asleep from waiting, [5]””
Indeed, Sui had fallen asleep while riding on Fer’s back. She was snoozing and going ‘munya, munya… dungeon…’ now and then.
“”Sui-chan… well, I’m sure she’ll wake up when it’s time to go to the dungeon,””
“”Eh, whatever, more importantly, are these people all going to the dungeon?”” [3] Dora-chan flapped higher to survey the crowd.
“”It’s possible. Though this dungeon is famous for being difficult, it’s still quite popular since the treasures and monster Drops are very good.”” [3] I said, quoting information I had gathered from Isaac-san.
“”Hmm, would they have valuable treasures like Magic Tools?”” was Fer’s unexpected question.
“”It’s possible to get Magic Tools, but things like jewels and precious ores are quite abundant too. The prices for these are pretty good, so Adventurers of certain ranks would come here to earn money by collecting these things.””
“”Humph, that’s all?”” [7] Dora-chan sniffed.
““What do you mean that’s all?”” [7] Unexpectedly, Fer was the one who replied. “”Things that could be sold for coin are good. Money can buy things like meat from the Other World through [Net Super]. Money could be donated to Ninril-sama’s church too.”” [5a]
[6] Woah, turns out Fer kind of understands money.
“”Is that so? Well, once you get lots of coins, let’s buy meat from Other World!””
Our party continued to chat through telepathy as the line moved slowly.
[8]
Suddenly, someone yelled, “Get out of the way! Move aside!”
We instinctively turned towards the source of the noise and saw a potbellied 50-year-old man shoving his way toward us.
“Mukouda-san’s party, right? Welcome to Brixt! I've been told you’ll be coming here. My name’s Tristan and I’m the Guild Master. Good to meet you. Do come this way.”
The overweight Guild master guided us to the second floor, grinning all the way. [1] Personally, I think his looks and personality fit the image of a Merchant’s Guild Master better.
[8]
Anyway, I let him usher me into a chair. Fer and the others settled behind me.
[4] “Well, well,” said the Guild Master as he sat down opposite me. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
[4] “Um, our party is planning to go to the dungeon,” I said amidst telepathic demands to ‘hurry up!’ and ‘dungeon!’. “Uh, we would like to buy a map of the place too…”
Tristan-san smiled and rubbed his hands. “Good, good, I understand you like to clear dungeons? Please! Don’t be shy and collect as many Drops as you can. After Willem told me you’re heading over here, I had been amassing funds. We intend to purchase as many gems and precious metals as we can from you. [5a] Of course, we are also happy to purchase any other dungeon gems and precious metals you might have...”
[6] “Oi! Are you done yet?”
[6] “Ah, I take it that your familiars are impatient to visit our dungeon?” Tristan-san smiled as he stood up. “How rude of me, taking up your precious time like this. Time is money after all. [4] Come now, here’s a map of the dungeon, take it. No, no, no need to pay. Here, let me escort you to the dungeon. It’s only a 15-minute walk from here. Let me walk you. No, no, I insist. It’s the least I could do.”
[8]
“Ah, I, ah, wait! Wait!” Ignoring the grumbles from my familiars, I clutched at the map and said, “D-demiurgos-sama gave me an oracle. He said to investigate the 20th floor thoroughly…”
[4] “Oh? You received an oracle from Demiurgos-sama?” [7] Tristan-san’s sharp eyes flashed around once. “Well, well, the map covers up to the 30th floor. The levels up to the 22nd floor are pretty well mapped out. So, I’m not sure what you expect to find on the 20th floor. Sadly, the 23rd floor onwards is not completely covered. However, we do list the possible monsters that appear on each floor.”
“I supposed there must be a hidden room of some sort, since God himself has sent me an oracle…”
“I don’t want to fight weaklings,” grumbled Fer.
“”Dittooo!!”” Dora-chan crowed.
“Well, we could take the Teleportation Stone right down to the 20th floor and start there,” I said reasonably.
“Humph,”
“Oh, you have one of those, eh? Convenient things aren’t they?” Tristan-san said cheerfully. “Well, do let us know when if you find any new rooms or passages so that we could update our maps.”
“Once we’ve found what we’re looking for, we can transfer to the 30th floor right away,” I continued, doing my best to soothe the savage beast. “That way, we don’t have to fight too many weak monsters.”
“There are only Gargoyles on the 20th floor. I don’t like weaklings but since it is an oracle from God, I suppose we must go there.”
“”Sui will help look~!””
“Ah, Sui-tan, you’re awake?”
[5b]
[6] “Ahem, I should say that the dungeons here a wider than either Doran and Avering,” said Tristan-san. “Good luck on your quest.” [5b]
“Ahaha, well, let’s go with the map for the time being. Even I’m not too sure what we’re supposed to find…”
[8]
Thanks to Tristan-san’s authority, my party was able to bypass the long line waiting to enter the dungeon. We were guided straight to the teleportation room. In the middle of the magic circle was a stone cylinder.
[4] “Now, to use the Teleportation Stone, all you have to do is bring the stone close to this alter and say ‘xx floor’ and you’ll be transported there right away,” instructed Tristan-san with a wide smile. “I look forward to your harvest!”
“Ahaha…” I’m actually pretty worried about what we’ll find on the lowest floor.
Anyway, let’s focus on the 20th floor first.
[Gumihou: Why so many tell? Show don’t tell!]
[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs
[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs
[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue
[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue
[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information… starting to delete pointless scenes now
[a] Blah, blah, precious gems and metals are scarce and in demand
[b] Delete ‘I’m going to find the hidden room first!’ scene. It’s just a ‘hey, hey, oooh!’ scene that serves no practical purpose
[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose
[7] Add Dialogue Tag
[8] Creative Licence Taken – Adjust weirdly uncoordinated text re action.
Comments
Very suspicious
Shadow
Very careless to mention about having an oracle. Also, should there be info about the lower level info about the latest oracle? Something seems suspicious.
