Gumihou
patreon
WeD - V2C10 - Percelis: The Sprout of Premonition
🕑 Added 2023-02-18 07:30:20 +0000 UTC「I will love you forever」
That is the meaning of white bellflowers in the language of flowers. That is what Ulysses wanted me to ‘not accept’.
“Hey, did you know? His Highness Ulysses is in marriage talks with a princess from another country, you know~ So, what will you do now~?”
Yesterday evening, Urbanus Medite told me this on his visit to the Holy Nation.
He has a rather crude way of speaking, but... I cannot afford to worry about such random things.
I realise that Ulysses must have stopped coming because he is busy with something else, maybe with someone else who is even more important.
I already had the feeling that he thought of me as a younger sister, but… still, it made me really sad.
After a night made restless with anxiety, I immersed myself in the waters of the Sanctuary as usual. Thinking about Ulysses, who I could not meet up with.
I first met him when I was 5 years old.
He was just slightly older than me at 7 years old. Even back then, he was already a beautiful prince with a mature air about him.
From the moment I saw him, I fell in love. Rather, despite my young age, I knew that I would fall in love with him. Thinking back, it was more of a conviction than a premonition. It was like part of my feelings had already been decided.
Even as I hid behind Bishop Delgusta, he had smiled and reached out for painfully shy me.
He told me stories about the outside world, because I could not go out.
I was just a child then, but I knew all kinds of things because of him.
His smile back then was free of clouds, as true as the gentle aura that surrounded him. Even so, I got the impression that he was a little sad.
He was always looking into the distance, as though looking for someone, waiting for someone.
“If the person Ulysses is waiting for really exists, please appear before him as soon as possible.”
This had been my prayer to the big tree for a very long time.
If this person appeared, then... he wouldn’t be so lonely. He would smile more. He wouldn’t be sad anymore.
I think it was around the time I turned 13 that Ulysses suddenly looked up in surprise while we were looking at a book. I think I said something about it, but I can’t remember what it was. I could only remember that surprise expression on Ulysses’ face.
It was from that day onwards, that he started to smile a little sadly whenever he looked at me.
He looked at me with a lonely expression, but he still visited the Holy Nation from time to time and kept me company. He would listen to me and stay by my side, telling me more stories.
Then.
On the day of the ball. Ulysses finally met the people he had been waiting for.
Makia and Tooru.
These two special people who could understand Ulysses completely.
“... I’m so glad, Ulysses.”
I’m glad he was able to meet them. Makia and Tooru, who rarely ever come to this place, are now my dear friends, but ever since they appeared, I’ve been thinking… I’m sure I’ll become a much smaller existence for Ulysses now that they have appeared.
However, things took a big turn.
On the last day of the Holy Festival, the Royal Capital was attacked by giant soldiers created by the Hermedes Federation.
After that, the Fresir Princess, the general as well as Ulysses, Makia and Tooru came to the Sanctuary that only special people could enter.
The reason they could enter was clearly because they were special. I don’t understand exactly how they are special and how they are related to the myths, but I can feel that they are connected to the wheel of fate.
Ulysses had cried.
He cried wordlessly in front of the little boy’s casket. The same boy that drew these inexplicable feelings of fondness from me.
Then, he apologised to me over and over again.
Hugging me and clinging to me, it was the first time I saw his weak side.
I still don’t know anything, but... I think it is possible that I am also connected to their fate.
However, I still know nothing.
Why did Ulysses keep apologising to me?
Also, why did Ulysses smile so sadly whenever he saw me?
And, why did he always treat me like I’m as fragile as thin glass? He used to touch me casually, but now, he maintains a certain distance from me and never pats my head anymore.
I think... it’s all very sad and very, very lonely.
What am I to him? Am I a burden to him?
Is this life some sort of repentance for him?
Am I nothing but a burden for Ulysses?
What makes him so sad?
The more I thought about it, the more jealous I became.
Of Makia and Tooru.
Of course, I can’t show it in public, and I do love them for making Ulysses happy. He looks really happy when he is around Makia and Tooru.
More than happy, he looks healed. As though their presence has saved him. Clearly the waiting was worth it.
Anyone could tell just by looking.
However, I wished I could go back to the time when I was still praying and waiting for this moment to happen.
I am a bad girl…
There are a lot of flowers floating on the spring water in the fountain I am soaking in. As I surrender myself to the coldness, I allow my body to sink, hoping to hide the feelings of loneliness and ugly jealousy from the world.
“... ...”
Zaaa—
My thin robe had become heavy with water as I stood up in the centre of the spring.
It is still very early in the morning, but for some reason, Ulysses is standing at the entrance of the Tomb of Truth.
“...Eltear…”
[1] The word that came out of his mouth sent an indescribable chill inside me and I can feel my face stiffening.
I know that name. The knowledge is sleeping somewhere deep inside my heart.
Even so, I tighten my expression, doing my best to push back against the feelings and trying to behave normally.
How long has it been since we last met?
I haven’t had a proper conversation with him for at least two months.
“... Percelis.”
“... …”
My nervousness is getting the better of me, I clenched my teeth, trying to suppress the feelings welling up in my heart.
I am... really, really happy he came to see me.
I rush away from the fountain, crouching behind the large tree. I can’t say why I did this. Obviously, it’s a childish move, but... even though I am happy, I don’t want to show it. My maiden’s heart just can’t take it.
“... What’s wrong, Percelis? If you stay in such a place wearing wet clothes, you’ll catch a cold. It’s almost autumn now and this place is already colder than usual… Look, you’re shivering, aren’t you?”
Ulysses’ cloak lands on my back.
The cloak still feels warm from his body heat.
“... I see, you still find me uncomfortable to be around. Is it because you get the feeling that you’re ‘about to recall something’?”
“...hm?”
I raised my head at his unexpected question, but I had to turn away again when I saw that smiling, yet incomparably sad expression.
“... sorry for not coming here all this time...”
There it is again. Again with the apologies. I have no idea what you are apologising for.
I turn my back to him.
“This again, it’s that face again, Ulysses... The one who dislikes looking at me is not Ulysses I know.”
“... Percelis…?”
“It’s fine... It’s fine you know... You don’t have to keep coming and showing me that face. You have Makia and Tooru, right? You have lots of people to make you happy, right?”
It makes me sad to even say these words. Tears are pooling in my eyes.
“Why… Why do you always look so sad when you look at me? I... I don’t understand…”
“... …”
Why do you feel guilty when you look at me?
What am I to you?
Aahhh, I hate it.
That one thing I don’t understand is probably the thing that is hurting the most.
Yet, there is a part of me that is afraid of the truth.
“It makes me uneasy, you know? E-ever since that day, when you cried in front of the casket saying ‘that child, that child’... I’m always, always so... frightened. I don’t know why, but... I get this feeling that something frightening will happen all the time.”
[1] I can feel it, the softly creeping feeling on the edges of my consciousness, lurking, waiting for an opportunity.
Once triggered, this creeping thing will devour me whole.
I can tell that creeping thing is made up of something terrifying.
My entire body already rejects its existence.
Even without knowing what it was, my entire body already rejects it.
“...You have a feeling that something frightening will happen?”
“Frightening, it’s really... frightening...”
Stay with me.
I feel uneasy about everything, but especially about you never being by my side.
I was about to say this when his voice cut in.
“I see.”
It is a sharp cutting sound that seems to… redirect something.
“It’s fine, it will all be fine... That feeling you are most afraid of will not be awakened.”
“.......?”
Ulysses’ eyes narrow and he reaches out to pluck a white bellflower that is blooming just beside us.
“A long time ago, there lived a foolish man... Even though the people all around called him a Sage, he was just a foolish man who could not convey his feelings properly to his fiancée. After one season, this foolish man left his fiancée for some business in another Continent.”
What is he talking about? Why is he suddenly telling me something like an old story?
He is staring at the white bellflower now with a lonely look in his eyes, before holding it out to me.
“The man presented a white bellflower to his fiancée, and soon after, they were married...”
“... …”
In an instance, shock went through me.
It felt as though I knew this scene of ‘the man presented a white bellflower’.
It is as though it has appeared in my mind's eye. It was a shaky, fragmented film in sepia tones. The movie disappears suddenly.
I know this.
In the language of flowers, a white bellflower means ‘I will love you forever’.
As my spirits lifts, a blush spreads over my cheeks and heat seems to emanate from the centre of my core.
Surprise, anticipation, joy and all sorts of indescribable emotions is starting to well up.
“... But for you, it is best not to accept it.”
My heart freezes instead.
There is a heavy thud, as though a large stake had been thrust through my chest. the fluttery, ambiguous emotions that had been bubbling up thus far had suddenly collapsed into dark water.
Ulysses… did not give me the flower. He places it on the ground.
“... Why…?”
What does this mean? What is going on?
“Accepting this flower will only lead to you being devoured by fear. You will know the truth about everything.
Ulysses is not looking me in the eye, but his words are clearly spoken.
Even so, their meaning was too abstract for me to understand. However, I do manage to understand one thing.
It is settled.
I have been completely rejected by him.
When comprehension washes over me, tears begin to well up in my eyes. Even though I knew that my tears would change nothing.
“Why... Ulysses, why...”
“... I’m sorry.”
And so, he apologises to me, again.
His face distorts with pain even as he turns his back to me and leaves this place.
Tears are streaming down my face; I cannot move due to the overwhelming feelings that seem to fix me in place.
“Wait... please wait... Ulysses...”
My desperate calls sound too quiet even to my ears.
If only I have the courage, the strength, and the charm to hold him in place, to stop him from leaving.
I curl up in place among the root of the trees, grasping at the cloak that had once held Ulysses’ warmth.
When I catch sight of the white bellflower, just a little way away on the mossy floor, fresh tears flow out of my eyes again.
More than sadness is slowly rising up inside of me. Fragments of fear prick at me, driving into me like pins until I could barely breathe.
“... Ulysses…”
Don’t go.
Stay beside me.
I’m scared.
Something is chasing me.
Everything is going round and round, round and round, like mixing honey, yogurt and dark bitter chocolate with a glass spoon.
Even though it looks pretty and sparkly, it is also sweet and sour and bitter at the same time.
The thing chasing me is muddy looking.
Sweet, yet never kind. It swallows me up.
Ah… I heard the nostalgic sound of flute somewhere.
“I’m sorry… but, this is my burden to bear. I have to be the one to stop that man.”
“...so you’re leaving. Leaving me and Shuma.”
“...I’m sorry”
The voice sounds familiar.
Who was it?
Who are you?
I see a man with white hair speaking to a woman with green hair. There is a little boy too… the boy is the one I see every day, the one in the casket.
“When everything is over, father will take you there, it’s a promise. Until then, stay close to your mother... Shuma. It will surely be a wonderful place for our family, alright?”
“Yes, father.”
The boy looked very young, but when he nodded, there was a certainty about him that felt more reliable than the woman.
Ahh… somehow there is a feeling of nostalgia here.
I have no idea when it started, but my tears just won’t stop flowing.
I want to know more.
I get the feeling that, the more I know, the closer I’ll get to Ulysses.
If only I know more, then… perhaps I could hold him close to me.
I want more… and more…
I tried grasping for those sparkling sharp feelings inside of me, but suddenly, a solid black wall appeared. It felt as solid as marble.
“... …”
Bad feelings stabbed at my heart.
I’m scared.
Unforgivable.
Let me die.
Let me meet them.
I see a grief-stricken woman screaming like a crazy within this Sanctuary. She is clinging to that water casket.
No.
Don’t look anymore.
It’s fine not to know everything.
A blindfold covered my eyes.
“... …”
I cried myself to sleep at the base of the large tree.
Only to wake up clinging onto Ulysses’ robes, trying to make myself small, smaller.
“Don’t cry, Shrine Maiden.”
I heard the sound of a flute, and a voice.
Surprised, I sit up and look around. Finally, I look up and see that at the fork of one of the many leaves and branches of the large sat a young man. He is seated in a kneeling position, playing a flute.
The tone warbles unsteadily, it sounded crude and unrefined. Yet, somehow, I felt like I should know it. I think... I must have heard it before.
The man is dressed like a priest of the Holy Nation. The black and white pattern is very distinctive, he even has a square hat on.
“...w-who are you?”
I have never seen this priest before.
He has short-cropped, ash-coloured hair.
The fearless smile and sharp ‘sanpaku’ [2] eyes seemed out of place on someone wearing a priest’s outfit.
The fact that this priest is inside this garden proves that he is also a special existence in this world.
The dissonant cadence of his flute playing seems to match with his existence.
[Gumihou: …sorry, but Gumi dislikes character who makes their own tragedies. It’s unbearable.]
[1] Adjust text so that it looks less cut and paste from the previous chapter.
[2] ‘Sanpaku’ or ‘three whites’ generally refers to the whites showing at the bottom of a person’s eyes.
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/sanpaku-eyes
