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Chapter 347: Wind Waker

🕑 Added 2025-03-23 07:16:08 +0000 UTC
Chapter 347: Wind Waker

Comments

PriÀm

Fixed! Thanks a lot Geekdumb!

Geekdumb

“For you, that point corresponds to defenses capable of resisting an Earl. And here I was, believing I could indefinitely expand Oasis…” I think the italics part was supposed to be Priam's inner thought so I moved the quotation mark “For you, that point corresponds to defenses capable of resisting an Earl.” And here I was, believing I could indefinitely expand Oasis… and wall-jumped on(off) it Mastery into his spear and thrusted(thrust) roared in defiance, executing a desperate whirlpool(whirlwind? ) attack beastlike agility, showcasing an(remove) ideal footwork

Tyrone Jason

You must be new here

MomoDG

He gone offline at more reasonable times on discord the last few days, that at least is a good sign

Narcoleptic Jellyfish

Pulling all nighters every chapter can't be healthy! I am hoping he is getting some zzzs

Halfcrzy

Can I.. can I be the rude person to ask if your alive? Pushing early Wednesday now..

PriÀm

Hey, thanks CakeEight! I have taken all your comments into account and implemented much of them. Sometimes, I rewrote the entire paragraph to make it even closer to what I want. For example: / *Lie*, Rohan’s instincts yowled. Having grown up among feline-natured people, the Aelbe ambassador knew how to recognize when someone was playing with the truth. *Is he testing me?* Nothing showed on his face as he analyzed the words of the Lord of Oasis. The lie told him that Priam had already assessed the tribes’ fortifications—and that he had failed to detect their trump cards. / In any case, thank you for taking the time to offer your corrections; it's greatly appreciated! Priam

MomoDG

[Sybiosis - Knightmare] is a Talent, not Skill. Kazuki isn't Tier 1 yet, that his Soul can't hold a Mythic Skill.

CakeEight

Will do then ^^ This took quite a bit longer than usual, since I'm not used to doing fixes in comments. Speaking of, I hope Patreon doesn't have a letter cap on comments, otherwise this might get cut off halfway (or I'll have to just post it in multiple parts). Last but not least, I gotta say that Rohan's use of his Concept was quite creative and I quite liked it. It really shows he's a genius (or at least talented) which is nice. Also also, have a cookie 🍪 > ...Priam had already assessed the tribes’ fortifications, and _that_ he had failed to detect their trump cards. The "that" makes it flow better. > Many refused to acknowledge goblins as sapient beings, but Rohan had encountered individuals _from their kin_ of staggering intelligence. The original sentence can be a bit confusing without that addition, or, well, something similar to that. > Rohan smiled, careful not to bare his sharp canines. “No. I need your help to kill the _N_ecromancer before it’s too late.” Feels like his title should be capitalised, even if it's not as official/important/impressive as the Juggernaut or the Tyrant. > How did Dishnu know about [There is no Heaven] which he had acquired by disrespecting Viracocha_?_ Missing a question mark there. > “Gladly,” the feline man replied, springing to his feet. The "gladly" should be replaced with a different affirmation, i.e "very" or "indeed", as it makes the conversation between him and Priam flow better. > ...You don’t want me to spy on the empyreans _even_. Adding the "even" makes the convo between Priam and Jasmine flow better as well, considering that the last part of Jasmine's response otherwise seems a bit abrupt. Also, are her and Priam supposed to speak out loud and let Rohan hear them, or did you forget italics for their pseudo telepathy? > “Well, I just remembered I’m supposed to be resting,” he said apologetically. “Don’t worry _though_, I have another opponent for you.” > Behind the pain, Micro informed him that his pupil was carved open by his opponent’s Concept. Cut? Blade _perhaps_? This could make the flow better, though considering that he's in a fast paced spar it'd make sense that he doesn't have the time for grammatical flow in his thoughts. > “Duty obliges.” This is more of a personal opinion but I feel like the "Duty" part should be in bold, similar to how skills are in bold when announced with intent. > ...colliding with an ancient tree at the _Oasis’_ edge. Remove the s in 's, as proper grammar rules demand (English is such a horrid language frfr). > “Now, here’s mine—Cut.” Same thing here as was with "Duty". > ...slipping between the metal ribs of his titan frame to pierce his _lung_. Depending on if you meant that the attack came from the side or at an angle then generally you'd only pierce a single lung. > _Then, from_ the corner of his eye, Kazuki glimpsed Priam. Better flow again. > A mechanical suit enveloped him as [Symbiosis - Knightmare] fused the Hoplite and the machine into a singular force. Wasn't that skill at the mythical rank? > ...and heavy liquid surged through every cell, _all_ while his metallic bones densified. Better flow. > Flesh and steel, logic and instinct, he was now _truly_ a war engine. Optional, just adds a bit more oomph to the description.

Rodrick Dusio

The thing that really stood out the me was the perspective shift in the very beginning to Rohan wasn't clear. Was expecting priam thoughts got Rohan lol. Had to do a double take read to get my head straight.

PriÀm

Damn, Patreon didn’t keep the italics when I copied and pasted. Fixed! (And sorry for the quality. I pulled an all-nighter to finish it, so I wasn’t exactly sharp by the end.) If you spot any other mistakes, feel free to let me know!

CakeEight

TFTC! Pretty interesting perspective shifts, though this chapter feels less proofread than the previous ones (the switches between third and first perspectives in the Rohan POV, tiny grammatical mistakes, etc.)

James Faulkner

So goddamn cool, tftc!

Andreas Fagernes Edelsteen Holm

Love it. TYFTC

MomoDG

I really liked Rohan's perspective, it gave a nice look at just how freakish Priam is. That he can hold his own against the Rivals and Rohan while only having learned to fight and handle Aether 2-3 months ago. And Tempered [Ciphered Record] makes him a total Enigma to everyone but specialists. It's great.

Allan Miller

I guess we just need to assume that Priam is dying to get resistances every 24 hours?

Derze

Good fight. You can do it Kazuki!!! Gooooooo

Andrew

Thank you!

Zaim İpek

A Zelda reference. Nice. Wind Waker was the first Zelda game I played when it got released for Gamecube.

Dungeonborn

Nicely done ! The last paragraph sent shivers down my spine !

Custus

Thanks for the chapter!

_mori

I don’t think it’s been mentioned yet

Prem Chanumalla

does kazuki have any ideal legendaries?

WusPuppin Jimbo

i love all the out there concepts, breath, duty, cut. hope we get to see more like them!

Luciaron

Priam might not be but I am! muahahaha. Thanks for the chapter! From what we've seen of concepts and their uses in this fight and previously, shit must get real crazy as people go up the tiers.


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