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Story Feedback (let's make a weekly thing)

🕑 Added 2025-11-22 17:09:29 +0000 UTC

Comments

Shawn Wilson

Yeah, I definitely need to find a way to realize that what my brain thinks I’m writing down sometimes and what I am is not happening I’m also trying to get back in the groove of consistently writing where there was a period of time that I wasn’t getting maybe more than a day or two a week and now I’ve had like 14 days in a row, but I also was writing across five different stories I definitely need to slow down, which has never been my strong suit because I’ve always just gone full speed all gas I’ll try to go back and make some improvements on some of those

Shawn Wilson

So the sabotage thing still has a part which is kind of change directions name wise. The broker is going to play a bigger role and that’s where we’re gonna see kind of that stuff from Yeah, I really feel it now as I’ve gone back and read more of the chapters Part of the problem was I was off for so long and then I literally wrote like 200,000 words across five different stories in like 14 days So I’m definitely needing to slow down a little bit and focus a little bit more So I’m gonna go back and try to fix up some of that stuff

medran_27

I have a question about Battle Through the Nine Realms. At the beginning of Book 3, it was implied that someone in the group was sabotaging them (with the ballista and some other comments), but this was mostly forgotten for the rest of the book. Also, as someone mentioned, the second half of Book 3 is messy. The story isn't continuous; the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next can be quite different. The second half of the book seems rushed. The fights weren't as spectacular, and the tasks didn't feel "legendary," as in the first two books. I hope you take your time with the next book because your work is great! Thanks!

A

I haven’t read the 2 newest stories (cultivator and slime) but my only 2 major gripes are. 1. Major skips between chapters or characters discussing things that occurred as if we know what is going on. It’s inconsistent enough that it isn’t detrimental but it’s very confusing when it occurs. It’s happened a few times on Loopbreaker but it’s been happening more in UL1. For example, Max going from the Radiant Steppes and dealing with the curse/worldeater…then he’s suddenly walking through a different world talking to Bob about his “last visit” as if it’s something we’d know. The parts where you jump years ahead but acknowledge it is perfectly find though. Like the fighting in the training ground. Max lays out the fight schedule then it jumps ahead to a different fight and the make a nod to “previous fights” or like the time jumps of Mirana climbing the tower. 2. Max learning skills and getting a description then him learning skills and they just disappear and aren’t mentioned (like ghost strike didn’t get an explanation till almost the end of the book and even then the description was for quick attack 🤣…or more recently rime step). Not as big a deal but still just kinda like MAAAAAN 3. 24 hours is just sooooo long between chapters cuz I wanna read them all now 🤣🤣🤣