Julie Hoverson
patreon
May Oysters Grieve - episode 9
🕑 Added 2025-02-20 18:00:01 +0000 UTCMAY THE OYSTERS GRIEVE - episode 9
STEAM WHISTLE OF A BOAT
SOUND OF WAVES AND SEAGULLS
ANNOUNCER Set sail for Excitement
Set sail for intrigue
Adventure is on the Horizon!
ANNOUNCER May the Oysters Grieve, episode 9
SHIP’S BELL RINGS FOUR TIMES – DING-DING DING-DING
ANNOUNCER Time stands still in the wee hours of the morning for murder after murder and revelation after revelation, all over the Schumacher mansion. Hilda’s demise made it clear that Paul – identical brother of Gramps, the family patriarch – was a killer, and, that he almost certainly killed Gideon, the other “old family retainer.” But Paul couldn’t be the one who stabbed Bethany in the upstairs hall – an assault she has survived... so far. Speaking of stabbing – with a strange change of heart, Tony has emerged from hiding to save the injured actress Marjorie.
MUSIC SWELLS
SCENE 1. BALLROOM
SOUND LAYING MARJORIE DOWN ON A COUCH
DUKE I ain’t a-letting go of you, Antoine, ole pal.
TONY [resigned] I know.
MAC I’ll leave him to you, Duke. Rose? Is there anything--?
ROSE I’ve got her Mac. Good thing I kept hold of everything I used on Bethany.
CECILE Anything I can help with?
ROSE You good with the sight of blood, Cecile?
CECILE I don’t know much doctoring, but I won’t faint.
ROSE [quiet] A step up from Tim, then. Hold this.
DUKE [to Tony] Without the whiskers and all, Antoine, you are the spittin image of Tim, there.
TONY “Tony”, please.
MAC Tell me, then. Why walk right into our hands?
TONY [sincere] I couldn’t just leave her – Marjorie – to die. Not again. I mean, not like—
MAC [sharp] Joanette?
TONY I tried to tell myself it was an accident, to absolve myself of the blame, but even though it was, I – I can’t run away from the responsibility any more.
MAC Maybe there’s hope for you, yet, Tony.
MUSIC
SCENE 2. LOST HALLWAY
SOUND ZORION’S BARE FEET WALK IN ECHOEY HALLWAY
ZORION [mutters in some foreign language, which turns into his inner thoughts, which are accented, but not as broken as the way he usually speaks]
SOUND ZORION’S QUIET BREATHING UNDER THIS:
ZORION [voice over] Has Bertie waited, as I told him? He is strange to me, but a man of honor. I must repay his trust and respect, and make my way back. [sigh] I come so far to claim Amaya, ready to fight for free her. She say she wants stay with those not our folk. Further, she find some who accept us as people of wolves – or perhaps they think we lie, but do not condemn us for being liars. Is this land truly a place of equals?
SOUND STEPS STOP FOR A MOMENTRUSTLE AS HE STANDS
ZORION [voice over] Yet even well-made plans can be undone. And love may find the wrong heart. If I could but speak to her, alone, I could lay my soul at her feet – my offering.
SOUND QUIET, SLOW BARE FOOT STEPS BEGIN
ZORION [voice over] But they are always together, the women, and will not see me. She is so fierce and independent, how do I speak the words to show I am the man she needs?
SOUND AHEAD, HE HEARS A DOOR OPEN
ZORION [aloud, but quiet] Ah! There is one I hunt, ahead. Good.
SOUND HE SLOWLY SNEAKS FORWARD
ZORION [voice over] Even those who accept us as comrades, may not be so eager to mix further. [sigh] It is not my fate. I will hold my voice. [back to speaking aloud, quiet] Oh, beautiful flower of sunshine.
SOUND HE TAKES A FEW STEPS
ZORION [Aloud, with feeling] Oh… Rose.
MUSIC
SCENE 3. BALLROOM
TONY I … I do have a conscience, and I needed to make some kind of amends.
DUKE [intimidating] Say, Mac, they got the electric chair, here in Hawaii?
MAC We can consider that later, Duke. [announcement] All right. Everyone. From what we gather, there are still five people wandering around in the house – Bertie and Zorion, Gramps, Paul, and Beatrice. We need to find the first two as quickly as possible, and probably Gramps as well, in case he’s the next target—
TONY He stabbed Marjorie! He’s the murderer!
MAC Are you certain it was Gramps?
DUKE Just like you hornswoggled us into thinking you was Tim, Paul mighta gone and fooled you.
TONY Who’s this “Paul?”
MAC Your grandfather’s long-missing identical brother.
MUSIC
SCENE 4. A BACK HALLWAY
SOUND ZORION’S BARE FEET SLOWLY APPROACH
BEATRICE [gasp] Who’s there?
ZORION I am Zorion.
BEATRICE Come into the light, so I can see you.
ZORION I see you.
BEATRICE But I’m afraid. Come closer.
ZORION Do not fear. I am protect.
SOUND HE TAKES ANOTHER STEP
BEATRICE Oh! You’re that handsome foreigner.
ZORION No, am Zorion.
BEATRICE If I swoon, will you catch me?
ZORION Swoon? What is swoon?
BEATRICE Faint. Fall down.
ZORION You are hurt?
BEATRICE [pouring it on] No, I am overcome. A manly savior like you makes me feel such relief, that I must react like the delicate woman I am, and fall at your feet in gratitude.
ZORION Too many words. [gasp] Your hand? Is burn?
BEATRICE It’s nothing. It was worth it, to grab a pearl.
ZORION You take pearl? Is dangerous!
SOUND HE TAKES A STEP CLOSER
BEATRICE [oldest trick in the book] Oh! What’s that behind you?
ZORION What? [he turns a bit]
SOUND SHE SWINGS, CLUNK OF HITTING HIM WITH A VASE
ZORION Uhn…
SOUND HIS BODY HITS THE FLOOR
MUSIC
SCENE 5. BALLROOM
SOUND MAC PACES
MAC Let’s assume, for now, that it was Paul who ran by and slashed Marjorie.
ROSE [calling over] She’s ok, by the way. I think it’s more shock than anything else.
TONY [truly relieved] Oh, good.
TIM Why, Tony? Why?
TONY Why what, Tim?
TIM Why do you care? Weren’t you planning to make me your scapegoat and run off?
TONY I don’t think I could ever have gone through with that, even if the idea did occur to me. [beat] Marjorie, she – we were heading this way – and I was just planning on showing her the way out, then running off, myself. [haunted] He came out of nowhere! And there was all this blood, and—
LULU And what?
TONY [tragic admission] I don’t think she even realized he had a knife, just that he was running at us, and… she pushed me out of the way. [sigh] I could hardly abandon her. I’m glad she’ll be all right.
MAC [brusque] Where were you, when this attack happened?
TONY [small voice] No time for weakness, eh? All right. Good. [deep breath, then louder] I could show you, but he was moving pretty quickly and might be anywhere, by now.
MAC Blast. [calling over] If we’re going to stay much longer in Honolulu, Duke, we need to see about getting some weapons.
KALEA I know a guy. Meanwhile, have a billiard cue.
SOUND HANDING IT OVER
IDA [to Duke] Here’s one for you, handsome.
DUKE Thankee kindly, miss Ida. You keep spoiling me like this and I might have to escort you out to a fancy dinner, sometime.
IDA [giggles] Oh, you! I’ll hold you to that!
CARSON Now we just gotta figure out who we plan to put a hurt on.
MAC We can’t take any chances – if we find anyone that looks like Gramps, we’ve got to tie him up, whether he seems peaceful or not.
MUSIC
SCENE 6. INGLENOOK
SOUND BEATRICE WALKING AND DRAGGING A BODY
BEATRICE [ungh – noise of effort – dragging him]
SOUND SECRET DOOR SHUTS WITH SPECIFIC NOISE
ZORION [murmurs, unconscious]
BEATRICE [laughs] After all those stupid jokes about a woman trying to “catch a man” - just never quite this literally. And with a burned hand, too. But it will all be worth it. He’s dark and handsome, even if he’s not particularly tall.
SOUND CREAK OF ROPES
ZORION [waking noises] What happen? You hit Zorion?
BEATRICE Don’t worry, handsome. [speaking slowly and trying hard to be romantic] Now that I have you, I mean you no harm.
ZORION Harm? [upset] You bind me! [struggling noises]
SOUND ROPES CREAK
BEATRICE Only until I can convince you to love me, darling.
ZORION [still exerting] Not “darling.” Zorion.
BEATRICE MMmm. Zorion. Such an exotic name. And such an exotic fellow. You are truly my heart’s desire. I love your wild mane of hair.
ZORION I am promised to--
BEATRICE [sudden rage] I don’t care! [flippant] Finders keepers, as they say! I found you, and no one’s going to take you away from me! [suddenly crafty] Except… What’s her name, the one you love, anyway?
ZORION [slowly, careful not to lie] I am promised to one of my own kind. She is called Amaya.
BEATRICE Why don’t I go find Amaya and … ask her – you know, girl to girl – If she might be willing to give you up? [fervent] I can give you all the love you’ll ever need.
SOUND SMALL KISSES ALL OVER HIS FACE
ZORION [squirming a bit] Yes. Go ask. Go.
MUSIC
SCENE 7. BALLROOM
MAC Duke and I are going out to find Bertie.
DUKE And Gramps.
MAC [firm] And we need you here in the ballroom, Rose.
ROSE But—
MAC You already have Bethany and Marjorie to look after. And if there’s a fight….
ROSE Amaya has a stick. We’ll be fine!
AMAYA I fear no old men.
CECILE It’s Amaya and you, and me and my skillet, Rose.
SOUND SMACK ON THE PAN
CARSON What am I, chopped liver?
KALEA I can fight if I have to, I just rather not. But I got a stick, too.
LARRY And I’ve got balls. I mean… oh.
IDA Oh, Larry.
MAC There shouldn’t be any need for a fight. A murderer isn’t like a commando. They don’t attack people in groups.
ROSE Not ones who can see them, anyway?
DUKE Jest keep them lights on.
MAC You should start a fire in the fireplace – then there’d be light even if the electricity goes.
ROSE All right. [mock sigh] We’ll keep the home fires burning while you guys go have all the fun.
SOUND THE DOOR CLOSES BEHIND THE GUYS
AMAYA [confused] We must burn things?
ROSE It’s just an expression.
MUSIC
FAKE COMMERCIAL
ANNOUNCER We've all had one of those trips: driving carelessly through luscious countryside, enjoying the fresh air and sunshine, far away from the madding crowd... and run out of gas.
SOUND MUSIC TURNS DARK
ANNOUNCER And what do you do if there's no help to be found for miles in any direction? When the last sign of civilization you passed was hours ago, and was a battered barn with the doors lolling open and only bats within?
SOUND MUSIC BRIGHTENS
ANNOUNCER If you planned ahead, you might have a full gas can, and wouldn’t spend more than a whistle of inconvenience. Farwest Aid Society for Travelers F-A-S-T FAST! [fast effect] Is the best friend a traveler in the Pacific has. FAST [fast effect] won't buy you gas, but it is the backup plan for everything else. We’re there for you when your tank runs dry.
SCENE 8. BALLROOM
ROSE I suppose everyone should try and get some rest.
AMAYA [urgent] Someone is outside window!
ROSE What?
AMAYA Walk past – there.
LARRY You can’t even see out the windows, with the shutters all closed!
AMAYA I know what passes.
MARJORIE [weakly] As if you could get any more eerie, Amaya.
LARRY Could it be - rescuers?
IDA We’re hardly lost at sea, Larry. It’s only been a few hours, and no one out there is even worrying about us, yet.
ROSE Let’s get the fireplace lit. And keep an ear out for anyone coming into the house. If that’s possible.
MUSIC
SCENE 9. GALLERY
SOUND MAC AND DUKE WALKING QUICKLY THROUGH
MAC If we could just find a way to tell Gramps and Paul apart.
DUKE I betcha a good old fashioned shiner would set one off from the other, and I reckon I don’t even know which one I’d like to plant a right cross on more.
MAC [amused] Really? Paul’s a murderer, and you can’t choose?
DUKE There’s something downright nasty about Gramps. The way he controls everyone around here, like a coyote playing at being a sheepdog.
MAC You think that, without his influence, the family wouldn’t be so damaged?
DUKE They say that to pull up the loco weed you gotta go right to the root.
MUSIC
SCENE 10. BALLROOM
SOUND KNOCK ON DOOR
SOUND FIREPLACE, BUT NOT LOUD
ROSE Mac? But they just left.
AMAYA Who else?
CECILE Open it. We’re right behind ya.
IDA Right back over here.
ROSE I doubt a killer’s likely to knock, ladies.
SOUND SHE WALKS TO THE DOOR
ROSE One, two, three….
SOUND DOOR OPEN, SOMEONE STARTS TO STEP IN, THEN
BERTIE There you are--
SOUND WHOOSH, BILLIARD BALL HITS DOOR, DOOR HITS BERTIES
BERTIE Oh… [fainting noise]
SOUND BERTIE DROPS TO THE FLOOR
ROSE Oh, goodness, Larry!
LARRY Ooh! Sorry!
CECILE Darn good aim, though.
IDA Not exactly in the strike zone.
LULU Oh no! Will Bertie be ok?
ROSE Well, he gets hit on the head pretty often, but that sounded like a bad one.
MUSIC
SCENE 11. HALLWAY, UPSTAIRS
SOUND RAPID FOOTSTEPS
GRAMPS What a blasted waste of time. The stable door still opened the last time I checked, though that was several years ago. There must be something heavy on top of it. I swear no one else in the household knew of its existence.
SOUND DISTANT FOOTSTEPS, GRAMPS’ STEPS HALT
SOUND HE SETS DOWN A HEAVY CASE
GRAMPS [quieter] Who the devil could that be?
SOUND THE DISTANT FOOTSTEPS MOVE ACROSS, DOOR SHUTS
GRAMPS Beatrice? Must be her. Bethany never walks with such purpose. Now that she’s out of the way, if I can just get to the gallery, I can get into the hideout room, and wait for the storm to blow out—
PAUL [too close] Or you could die this time, brother!
GRAMPS Wha--?
SOUND STRUGGLE
MUSIC
SCENE 12. BALLROOM
SOUND DOOR CLOSES
AMAYA Bertie drops book.
SOUND THEY HEAVE BERTIE ONTO A SOFA
IDA What’s that?
AMAYA [shrug] From Bertie. Here.
IDA Mmm.
SOUND IDA PAGES THROUGH THE JOURNAL
AMAYA Bertie head is all right?
ROSE I don’t know… That door hit him pretty hard.
BERTIE [groan of pain]
ROSE But at least he’s not dead.
SOUND BERTIE SITS UP
BERTIE [moan]
LARRY I am so sorry.
BERTIE [painful sigh] I can hardly fault you. You’ve sufficient reason to be more than a little on edge.
ROSE You can tell he’s all right when he can make long sentences.
BERTIE [chuckles, but cuts off with a noise of pain]
IDA Who is this Great Ciabattini? [cha-bah-TEE-nee]
BERTIE [perking up] Where did you--? Oh, the journal.
IDA I can only make out one word in ten, but names are names in any language.
BERTIE May I?
SOUND SHE HANDS THE BOOK BACK TO HIM
BERTIE I think this volume holds the secrets of this house. To begin with, it appears the place was designed and built by a famous stage magician, this “Ciabattinni.” [cha-bah-TEE-nee]
ROSE That explains all the secret doors!
LULU But who--?
BERTIE I’ll hazard a guess and say he was your great-grandfather. He gave up his career on the stage and tried to buy his way into the beau monde.
TIM The what?
ROSE The local social circle. The best families.
IDA He wouldn’t be the first. And a magician is certainly more savory than a bootlegger--
LARRY Or a war profiteer--
IDA --though I’ve always had excellent luck with bootleggers.
BERTIE Oh, dear, I’ve forgotten something!
ROSE What?
BERTIE Zorion!
MUSIC
SCENE 13. INGLENOOK
SOUND ZORION SQUIRMING
SOUND BONDS RUBBING, TEARING
ZORION [speaking with a piece of rope in his mouth as he bites it with a bit of a growl] Woman is mad!
SOUND LAST OF THE ROPES COME LOOSE
ZORION [spits out rope fibers] Need be gone when she return.
SOUND GROPING AROUND THE WALL
ZORION [disgusted] Woman want make me love her. Never will I betray my love.
SOUND CLICK, DOOR OPENS, HE GRABS IT
ZORION Sloooowly. Good.
SOUND HE SLIPS OUT, PADS OFF DOWN THE HALL
ZORION If no love can be, I may stay and be help for my flower.
MUSIC
SCENE 14. MAIN FOYER
SOUND DUKE AND MAC ENTER, SLOWLY
DUKE Whatcha thinking, Mac?
MAC About…?
SOUND THEY STOP
DUKE Antoine. I mean Tony.
MAC Hmm. I think we need to handle the situation at hand before we go looking for more knots to untangle.
DUKE I’m right with you, but I gotta know if you believe that yarn he was spinning.
MAC Check the front door. See if anyone opened it.
SOUND DUKE GOES TO DOOR, RATTLES HANDLE
DUKE No water in here, so it’s stayed good and shut. Well?
MAC I think Tony is sincere. He’ll have to do some time, but I don’t think outright murder is the right charge.
DUKE If he was gonna plan to kill someone, he’s got a stampede of candidates right here at home.
MAC They’ve all been here, somehow balanced with each other, for so long – so accustomed to their life – it took a night like this to bring out the murderer amongst them. Or did it? Hmm.
DUKE Whatcha thinking?
MAC Uncle Paul. Whichever one of them it was that told us, he said Paul was locked up for decades, deep in this house. What if the arrival of strangers wasn’t just an emotional catalyst, but actually caused his escape?
DUKE Rose said they all tumbled into some kinda cell, through that trap door – maybe they set him loose when they got themselves out?
MAC That could explain a lot. Finally free, he sets out to get vengeance on those he blames for his imprisonment—
DUKE That still don’t explain who went and stabbed Bethany.
MAC I haven’t got everything--
GRAMPS [screams] Yeeahhhhh….
SOUND BODY TUMBLES DOWN THE STAIRS
SOUND HEAVY CASE BUMPS DOWN STAIRS, LANDING NEAR GRAMPS
MAC Gramps?!
SOUND BODY COMES TO REST
DUKE Dangit, that grand staircase has finally gone and lost its last bit of charm!
MUSIC TO CLOSING
ANNOUNCER A body tumbling down the stairs, but is it Gramps, or might it be his dangerous double, Paul? Was he pushed, and by whom? Will Zorion ever be able to express himself to the object of his affection? And what kind of fresh trouble might Beatrice get into, once she demands Amaya back off and leave Zorion to her tender embraces?
END
