Julie Hoverson
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May Oysters Grieve - episode 7
🕑 Added 2025-02-06 18:00:07 +0000 UTCMAY THE OYSTERS GRIEVE – episode 7
STEAM WHISTLE OF A BOAT
SOUND OF WAVES AND SEAGULLS
ANNOUNCER Set sail for Excitement
Set sail for intrigue
Adventure is on the Horizon!
ANNOUNCER May the Oysters Grieve, episode 7
SHIP’S BELL RINGS FOUR TIMES – DING-DING DING-DING
ANNOUNCER Following hard on the murder of the elderly Gideon, Aunt Bethany was stabbed in the second floor hallway, and may perish without immediate medical aid and a heaping helping of luck. Marjorie has found herself lost, but not alone, in the passages behind the walls. And Bertie and Zorion have reached the secret of the villainously trapped turret room. Finally, Mac and Duke broke up a fight between Gramps and a man who looked just like him – and one of the elderly combatants got away, but which one?
MUSIC SWELLS
SCENE 1. DINING ROOM
SOUND SECRET DOOR SLAMS AND LOCKS
MAC Drat! He got away before I could grab him! [noise as he pounds on the wall] Ungh!
SOUND MAC’S FIST HITS WALL
DUKE You all right, Gramps?
PAUL [coughs a bit, to give himself time to think] Why, yes. [cough cough] You fellows saved me. You have my [coughs] eternal gratitude.
MAC Who was that?
PAUL [thinking furiously] That? Um… My brother. Paul.
DUKE I thought he was supposed to have hit the trail way back when. What happened?
MAC Hold that thought, Duke. You’re staying with us, sir.
DUKE He said it’s okay to call him Gramps, Mac.
PAUL [slowly, calculating] Why, yes. Gramps is just fine.
MAC Let’s get you back with everyone else, Gramps, and then perhaps you can explain about your brother’s sudden reappearance.
MUSIC
SCENE 2. SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY
BETHANY [harsh breathing and occasional whimpers, unless otherwise noted]
ROSE [trying to stay calm] Stay with me, Bethany. I’m Rose – Rose MacDougall. Can you hear me?
BETHANY Uh-huh.
ROSE Good. Try and stay conscious. Can you tell me anything about who attacked you?
BETHANY Nuh-uh.
SOUND AMAYA’S STEPS RETURN
AMAYA Tim find medicine.
SOUND NUMEROUS SMALL THINGS PLACED ON FLOOR
SOUND ROSE PICKS THROUGH THE BOTTLES, ETC.
ROSE Thanks, Amaya! This should work. Where’s Tim?
AMAYA Not like blood.
ROSE Get him. Keep him with you and go find Mac, quick!
MUSIC
SCENE 3. TURRET
SOUND CURTAIN SWISHES ASIDE
BERTIE Well, fancy! All this, up here lurking in the top of the house.
ZORION Many painted boxes? Bertie?
BERTIE I do believe, Zorion, that we have entered a repository of the prestidigitory arts.
ZORION [warning] Bertie. Make small words.
BERTIE I’m not sure I can avoid too much talking about this. Unless I miss my guess, these are the exquisite props of a master of stage magic.
ZORION Magic? [serious warning] Magic is not for play, Bertie. Makes burn. Uch! [frustrated with his lack of English vocabulary]
SOUND THEY MOVE AROUND SLOWLY, NOT TOUCHING THINGS
BERTIE This is mere performance. I won’t say it can’t be dangerous, so don’t touch anything, just yet. You see, stage magicians make it look like they perform magic, but it is only tricks - like all these strange doors.
ZORION Not true magic?
BERTIE Certainly not. [slower] But if these were constructed by the fellow who built this house, that explains the secret panels and traps. He certainly knew how to build such things.
ZORION Why hide box tricks?
BERTIE None of the family has mentioned stage magic – perhaps their progenitor was hiding his background to make it easier to step into the upper class.
ZORION [exasperated] More slow?
BERTIE A performer is not considered… nobility. To appear “high class”, he might try to hide how he became wealthy.
ZORION Make rich from trick magic?
BERTIE These boxes could be very valuable. Especially if he constructed them all himself. Aha. Here’s some papers. [he blows off the dust] A poster for the Great Ciabattino [chah-bah-TEE-no] …who apparently entertained the crowned heads of Europe.
MUSIC
SCENE 4. BEDROOM
SOUND TIM RUMMAGES THROUGH DRAWERS
SOUND AMAYA ENTERS
TIM [gasp] Amaya, you nearly gave me a heart attack.
AMAYA Come, Tim. Stay close. Your brother claim he is you.
SOUND THEY LEAVE ROOM, ENTER HALL, KEEP WALKING
TIM My what? Tony?
AMAYA [pleased with herself] He fool me not. Others, maybe yes.
TIM Why would he do that?
AMAYA He want you blame for murder.
TIM Me? I would never—
AMAYA [warning, commanding] Tim!
SOUND SHE STOPS HIM
AMAYA [brutal honesty] Tony want you punish, not him! [upset] Then we no finish movie!
TIM I don’t think I can--
AMAYA No time for sit, Tim, come. We must fetch Mac.
MUSIC
SCENE 5. BALLROOM
SOUND CARSON AND CECILE MOVING AROUND
HILDA [snoring]
SOUND CECILE OPENS A DOOR ON HER SIDE, CARSON ON HIS
CECILE [at one side] Hello? Anyone out there not a killer?
CARSON [at the far side] Yo? Anyone? Helloooooo?
SOUND DOORS SHUT, BOTH SIDES
CARSON Why in sam hill does anyone build a ballroom in their house?
CECILE [shrug] Rich white folks. [sigh] I give up. Let’s take a load off.
SOUND SHE WALKS OVER AND SITS
CARSON I hear ya. [notices Hilda] Should we be quiet, you think? For her?
CECILE She slept through all the yelling. But… I would be just as happy if she don’t wake up and start nattering on again.
CARSON [laughs] Yeah.
SOUND HE SITS
CECILE [sighs] My Gran said coming all this way just to make a movie was plain crazy. [humorless chuckle] If she could just see me now.
CARSON So you’re in “The Island Howls?”
CECILE [a little sad] It was a really good role. Not another damn maid.
CARSON It’ll still get finished, won’t it?
CECILE I don’t know. It’s Tim and Lulu we gotta watch out for. Without them, the picture’s done for sure.
SOUND DOOR SLAMS OPEN
CECILE [small shriek]
SOUND LARRY STRIDES IN
LARRY We’re back! [turns back] They’re here!
CECILE Dang it, Larry!
CARSON Hey! Keep it down. Can’t you see poor old Hilda is sleeping?
MUSIC
SCENE 6. GRAND FOYER
SOUND WALKING
DUKE You doin ok, there, Gramps? You seem pretty spry for yer age, but being strangled like that can take a toll on anyone.
PAUL [pretending to be Gramps] I might not be able to run a marathon, but I’m certainly able to walk, young man.
DUKE I toldja you could call me Duke. Everyone does. And that feller there’s Mac.
MAC This is the way to the ballroom, if I’m not mistaken.
PAUL All business, your friend.
DUKE ‘Cept when it comes to his sister. But that’s why he’s the boss, more or less.
PAUL I only ever had brothers.
DUKE Triplets, right? And that feller who was a-strangling you was one of em?
MAC How’d he get back into the house after all these years?
PAUL Oh, that. Ummm... [pretends to consider] He… never left.
DUKE Hilda said he vamoosed and was Enoch Arden-ed like any other vanish case.
PAUL [annoyed] None of that modern slang, young man.
MAC Enoch Arden is just shorthand for the law that says someone can be declared dead if they’ve been missing for seven years.
PAUL [hiding fury, snide] Oh, really? Then I suppose it won’t do him any good to reappear after all this time.
MAC Especially if he’s killed someone.
DUKE Seems to run in the family.
MUSIC
SCENE 7. BEHIND THE WALLS
SOUND TONY COMES CLOSER
TONY What were you going to say?
MARJORIE I don’t remember. Nothing that tops murder, I can guarantee you that, mister Schumacher.
TONY Call me Tony. You don’t seem frightened to be alone with a possible killer.
MARJORIE Maybe I’m just a good actress.
TONY Maybe you are.
MARJORIE [remembering] Oh! That’s what I was going to say! If you’re Tim’s brother – um, Tony – then you have connections in Hollywood.
TONY Did he say that?
MARJORIE [getting more confident] He sounded really proud when he talked about how you were having your screenplay made by a real studio, and how he hoped it would be a big success and made you rich and famous.
TONY [faltering a bit] He… did?
MARJORIE He said it was a really good story.
TONY [doubting, and a bit vulnerable] Tim said that?
MARJORIE Well, he’s the only one who knew he had a brother, let alone a brother who also writes for movies. [warm] I’m the star of Tim’s little picture. Marjorie. Marjorie Claremont.
MUSIC
SCENE 8. SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY
SOUND SCISSORS SNIP
BETHANY [crying quietly]
ROSE I’m so sorry I don’t have any real way to help with the pain, Aunt Bethany. Aspirin’s no good while you’re still bleeding. If Tim and Amaya can find Mac and bring him back with Duke or Bertie, they can probably carry you downstairs so at least you can be with everyone else.
BETHANY [faltering] You’ve been so good, Rose. If I die, will you promise to do something for me?
ROSE [fierce] You’re not gonna die.
BETHANY If I live until Christmas, then you won’t have to keep my secret. But I must tell someone, now, to protect her.
ROSE Protect who?
BETHANY [starting to fade out into sleep] I fooled everyone. I spent my life close to them, and they didn’t even notice.
ROSE Notice what? Who?
BETHANY She’ll be old enough soon. My little gift. Protect her. [fades out completely on the last couple of words]
ROSE I’ll do whatever I can. [sigh] She’s out.
MUSIC
FAKE COMMERCIAL
ANNOUNCER We've all had one of those trips: driving carelessly through luscious countryside, enjoying the fresh air and sunshine, far away from the madding crowd... and run out of gas.
SOUND MUSIC TURNS DARK
ANNOUNCER And what do you do if there's no help to be found for miles in any direction? When the last sign of civilization you passed was hours ago, and was an ancient box truck pulled off into the tall grass, the cargo burnt beyond recognition?
SOUND MUSIC BRIGHTENS
ANNOUNCER If you planned ahead, you might have a full gas can, and wouldn’t spend more than a heartbeat of inconvenience. Farwest Aid Society for Travelers F-A-S-T FAST! [fast effect] Is the best friend a traveler in the Pacific has. FAST [fast effect] won't buy you gas, but it is the backup plan for everything else. We’re there for you when your tank runs dry.
SCENE 9. TURRET
SOUND PAPER MOVES
BERTIE Look! Here’s a newspaper… Hmm… 1847. Quite a vintage.
ZORION Why come so far from Europe?
BERTIE That is definitely a question. And this might hold the answer. If I don’t miss my guess, this is a journal.
SOUND OLD BOOK OPENS
BERTIE [a bit disappointed] Ah. Not in English. Italian, I think. And such perfectly inscrutable copperplate handwriting. Lovely sketches of some of these boxes makes me pretty sure it’s the master’s. I’ll bring it along, and decipher it later.
ZORION Back, now?
BERTIE Oh, yes. I can’t resist a mystery, but finding a place to wash off all this dust would be lovely as well.
ZORION Ah. See? I find string to mark way for come back, eh?
SOUND THEY MOVE BACK TOWARD THE DOOR
BERTIE All right. [noticing something, awestruck] Oh my!
ZORION What?
BERTIE Over the door – that glass case. If that’s what I think it is, it’s – beyond price. I must get a closer look before we leave.
MUSIC
SCENE 10. BALLROOM
HILDA [snoring throughout, off to the side]
IDA I’m almost as old as Hilda there, but can I fall asleep? Hmm?
KALEA Get it if you can, Ida. I don’t think I’ll sleep ‘til I take my okole home. Too much worry.
LULU I feel that way too, Kalea, but I’m exhausted as well. It’s almost, what, 2 A.M.?
KALEA Something like that.
LARRY Closer to 3 by my watch, Lulu. Only another 4 hours until dawn.
IDA “Four hours til Dawn.” How’s that for a Marquee?
LARRY I think it’s been done.
SOUND DOORS OPEN
SOUND EVERYONE MOVES, STICKS READY
[NOTE everyone reacts vocally as well, gasp or something]
MAC It’s ok, it’s just Duke and me. We’ve got Gramps with us.
SOUND THEY ENTER, DOOR SHUTS
MAC Who all’s here? Lulu, Kalea – and you must be the actors. [faltering just a bit] Any… sign… of Rose?
DUKE Come on, Gramps, let’s getcha settled.
PAUL Seat me over near Hilda, would you? I don’t know any of these other people.
DUKE Not even Lulu?
PAUL [shutting him down] I’m tired.
DUKE All right. Here ya go, feller.
SOUND DOOR SLAMS OPEN
AMAYA Come now! Mac! Rose needs you!
MUSIC
SCENE 11. OUTSIDE
SOUND HEAVY RAIN, WIND
SOUND RAIN ON AN OILSKIN COAT
SOUND WET FOOTSTEPS
AKEMAI [muttering to himself] Gotta get to her. Rain or no rain.
SOUND SHAKES DOOR HANDLE, LOCKED
AKEMAI Locked. [heavy sigh] Said no come, but sound scared.
SOUND FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE
MUSIC
SCENE 12. BEHIND THE WALLS
TONY I owe you a debt of gratitude, Marjorie Claremont.
MARJORIE For what? I didn’t do anything.
TONY You brought me back down to earth.
MARJORIE Huh?
TONY Just listen, please. I need to say this to someone.
MARJORIE Go on.
TONY I was… just doing little things, to upset the guy who stole credit for my screenplay. Just trying to put him off, make him feel like the movie was bad luck. Leaving weird notes using gramps’ orchid poetry. Even adding a dicey photo that turned up in the office.
MARJORIE Oh?
TONY [getting a bit choked up] Then Joanette caught me in the trailer, and she – she wouldn’t stay quiet. I coulda just left – come home and they’d’a never heard from me again. But she screamed, and I panicked and held her mouth. [sobs] I just wanted her to shut up. I even liked her.
MARJORIE Oh.
TONY [plaintive] I didn’t even realize she was dead, right away. I thought she fainted, like ladies always do in the movies.
MARJORIE Ah.
TONY But then… she didn’t get up. And wasn’t breathing. [deep sigh]
MARJORIE [carefully neutral] How awful.
TONY [slightly ominous] Yes.
MUSIC
SCENE 13. GRAMPS’ ROOM
SOUND PACKING A SUITCASE
GRAMPS I haven’t spent the last half century keeping this family together just to watch it go to blazes like this. [as if making a list] Beatrice can be reasoned with. Bethany is as wobbly as aspic – can’t stand up to a slight breeze. Tim will fall back into line when Tom is gone. [deadnaming Lulu] Or if I blow that disgusting mask away. [considering] Tony … Tony might have to take over his uncle’s place in penance. [too pleased] Yes. Give him some solitary time – to think about what he’s done.
SOUND CLICKS THE CASE SHUT
GRAMPS [sigh] I suppose I shall need to find some new servants as well. Hmph. Perhaps Akamai [ak-ah-mah-ee] can find some islanders who will work cheap.
MUSIC
SCENE 14. TURRET ROOM
BERTIE Mm. Let me down, now. Gently.
SOUND SLIGHT SCUFFLE, FEET ON GROUND
ZORION [grunt] What you see in box?
SOUND BERTIE DUSTS HIMSELF OFF AS HE SPEAKS
BERTIE I’m virtually certain that glass case is trapped, which is why I wanted to look without getting too close. There’s definitely something odd about what looks like a pipe opening out of the back.
ZORION Trap guards small grey ball? Why?
BERTIE I’m no expert, but taking where we are – geographically – Into consideration, I would wager that small grey ball is worth a fortune.
ZORION Be clear.
BERTIE I think what we have here is a rare black pearl. Very valuable, particularly considering its size.
ZORION Big make special?
BERTIE Of course. They say pearls are the grief of an oyster, but they also can be the grief of those that covet them. More than one noble house has been destroyed through fighting over priceless baubles like that one.
ZORION [exasperated] Oh, Bertie.
MUSIC
SCENE 15. BALLROOM
SOUND DOOR SLAMS
[NOTE: MAC AND DUKE JUST LEFT TO HELP BETHANY]
LULU I hope aunt Bethany will be okay!
KALEA If anyone can get her back here safe, it’s those fellas.
LARRY We should have asked if they’d seen Marjorie.
CECILE Oh. Yeah. Funny, I didn’t even notice she was gone.
IDA [snarky] You didn’t miss her mellifluous voice?
LULU We should do something about finding her. She can’t have gone far. Maybe a couple of us could— [cut off with a gasp]
SOUND LIGHTS GO OUT
[NOTE Everyone reacts more or less at the same time as Lulu gasps – the lights have gone out. Anyone not mentioned just gasps]
LARRY [small scream]
IDA The lights!
CECILE Not this damn time!
SOUND HAND SMACKS PAN
CECILE [growled] Come and get it!
CARSON [more annoyed than scared] What? Hey!
HILDA [Moany gurgle]
KALEA Hush everyone! Listen!
HILDA [gasping, choking]
LULU Someone’s killing Hilda!
KALEA Get a light!
MUSIC TO CLOSING
ANNOUNCER Could Hilda be dying, right in the middle of everyone in the pitch black ballroom? Who might the attacker be? And who is lurking outside in the rain, trying to find a way in? Can Marjorie convince Tony to give her a role in his next film? Has Bertie really found an enormous black pearl in the mysterious turret room? Will Bethany survive her injuries? And what is Bethany’s best Christmas gift ever?
END
