Aster Loka
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Chapter 96
🕑 Added 2022-03-14 16:12:51 +0000 UTC"Something's different." Irene stared into Levi’s eyes as though searching for something she’d misplaced, and he didn’t know how to answer.
Dinner was over, Peter and Cassandra were playing a racing game on the TV in the family room, Gayle had gone upstairs, and Gordon headed out for the night, leaving Irene and Levi alone.
And he had no idea what to say. He didn't want to say anything, he only wanted Irene. Wanted her more than he could ever remember wanting anything. He wanted to hold her and not let go, to let the years disappear.
But she stood, arms crossed, concern plain on her face as she looked up into his. She could tell something was wrong, uncertain as she looked for someone in his face who he wasn’t sure still existed.
"What happened?" she asked.
“More than I can tell you in a night.”
"Magic and monsters...?"
"They’re real. Among other things."
"Cas told me that much. If that’s not what’s bothering you, then what's wrong? Why did you run away? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I couldn't. It's too..." Levi sighed. "It's the kind of thing that would make you think I'd lost my mind if I didn't have proof. And even with proof, it's hard to come out and say it."
"This isn't like you. Why are you hiding things from me?"
"I got out of the habit. Spent so long keeping my thoughts to myself. It's hard."
"You were away for two weeks, that's not long—" Levi shook his head, and Irene trailed off. “What are you saying?”
Levi exhaled slowly, bracing himself. “I’ve come back in time,” he said it quietly, so no one could overhear. “It’s been years for me since this day happened the first time. And I—“ his voice caught in his throat, and he struggled to calm himself. His pulse pounded in his ears. “I haven’t seen you in so long. And I’m… I’ve been through… I’ve become someone… else. I’ve been fighting for so long. ”
For a long moment she simply looked up at him, searching his face, then she let her arms fall. “So that’s it,” she said, softly, and the barriers between them seemed to vanish as she stepped forward. “Time travel. I would have laughed a week ago, but… I can see it. The way you look, the way you walk, the way you speak. It’s all changed. But underneath, it’s still you. I’m so glad.” One hand came up to rest against his face, and she leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder.
Levi felt his anxiety melting away as the distance he’d imagined between them vanished in a single moment. How had he ever believed she’d shun him? Of course she would understand.
God, he loved this woman.
He wrapped his own arms around her. For a time they simply stood, feeling each others’ heartbeats, as Irene tried to understand and Levi provided the only comfort he could offer, comforted in turn by her soft warmth, breathing in her closeness and the faint coconut scent of her favourite shampoo.
“What happened?” Irene asked. “In the future. How did we… end up separated.”
“You died,” he admitted, the word almost strangling him. “I couldn’t save you. I wasn’t able to do anything. But I swear, I won’t let it happen again. This time things will be different. I swear. I won’t lose you and Peter again. I’ll be there for you this time.”
“What happened?” Her eyes flicked toward the door as though wanting to run and check on Peter right that moment. “That’s why you wanted me to stay here. Something happened back home.”
“Alturas will be one of the sites of a portal to hell. At least, a realm of creatures so much worse than dungeon monsters that it may as well be hell. We don’t know much about them, the invaders, but they came with no warning and started burning and killing everything in their path.”
Irene’s arms tightened around him, and he felt her tears damp against his shoulder. “And we’ll be safe here?”
“I don’t think we’ll be safe anywhere. That’s why I’m here now. To find a way we can all survive this time.”
“And you were… in the future for how long? How long did you… after…?”
“A little over ten years from the start of the invasion to the end of it all, when I came back.”
“I can’t imagine.” Her voice was faint, muffled against his shirt. “Was there… anyone else, after?”
“No,” Levi answered honestly. “After losing you and Peter, I couldn’t… it wouldn’t feel right even if… and everything was so insane, so there wasn’t…”
Irene laughed a little, but he could still hear the tears in it. “I’m not sure if I should be glad or sorry. You must have been so lonely.”
“I was. But after a while, you… not forget exactly, I could never forget, but it’s easier to drown it out. Just keep moving. Keep fighting.”
“So that’s why you disappeared? You were in the future.”
What could he possibly say to encapsulate the following years without delving too deeply into the darkness and violence and despair that inevitably followed? There were no words for it. “I didn’t know how to… say any of this. I still don’t. But the world is about to change forever, and we need to be ready to face it. Together, this time.”
“Is it weird to say I believe you completely and also find this completely unbelievable?”
Levi chuckled and gently ran a hand up and down her back. “Not at all. I hardly believe it myself. Sometimes I’m convinced this is all a dream, that any moment now I’ll wake up and be back in the future, back in the endless war.”
There was silence for a time, then at length she spoke again. “What does this mean for us? Are you quitting your job? Are we moving? What about Peter?”
“The world is about to change. I won’t be going back to work. It’s not necessary any more. I want to take the two of you to a dungeon first thing in the morning, so you can Awaken and choose your classes. We need to be sure that each of you could survive a direct attack at least long enough to escape. That’s my top priority right now. I want to be sure you and Peter are safe.”
“And you.”
“You don’t need to worry about me.”
“That’s not reassuring.”
Levi smoothed down her hair, pressed a kiss against her forehead. “I’m not going to leave you. I survived this all once, I’ll survive it again. And this time, you’ll be right there with me. I’ve never forgiven myself for not being there for you the first time.”
“Was there anything you could have done?” She looked up, serious.
“I’ve imagined it a thousand times, trying to find some way. By then, it was too late, but if I started sooner… if I hadn’t ignored the system for so long, if—“
“Then I forgive you,” Irene interrupted.
“You can’t just—“
“I forgive you.” She said it more firmly this time, staring directly at him with a hint of her slow fire in her eyes. “You did everything you could, and you’re going to do even more this time. You don’t need to keep blaming yourself. It’s okay.”
“That’s easy to say—“
“Shush. You’ve already suffered enough over this. You don’t have to keep carrying it alone. I know you would never let anything hurt us. And even if it happens again, if everything we do isn’t enough, I forgive you for that too.”
There were more words, and he did not end up having time to speak to anyone else. The two of them spoke late into the night, long after the others were asleep, and then there were more than words as they consummated their reunion.
And then Levi slept, for the first time in longer than he could clearly recall, feeling that all was right with the world.
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[Chapter 97 was written later, so it's out of order by posting date and can be found here.]
