an email from my recent abuser

Athen Davis is GÆ

Super sorry

Hannah Kimberley Claire Davis

This person is repulsive! And they are totally and completely and utterly in the wrong for harassing you, and then to go and try and play off as just as much the victim because of what happened to them casts them as low as garbage! I'm truly sorry that they were a victim of CSA, I'm honestly a victim myself (I know that might be TMI) but I do not like people who use their experience with abuse to abuse others, and over what? Something they don't like. How utterly manipulative. I'm sorry you had to deal with this Michelle. In my eyes you've done nothing wrong. You make wonderful, beautiful artwork and I wish you find peace.

I didn't know any of this was happening. I would have been upset to hear that you killed yourself, that you would have stopped the comic, and I am disgusted that this havoc entered your life because of some crazy person. I hope you will keep creating. I don't do the whole NSFW content, i'm pretty asexual that way, so i hope you will finish Ava's Demon and look forward to your future projects.

Zamiiz

JESUS WOW- *holds your hand* i feel yah buddy, I really do ♥️

Molenar

Art that's aged up it's not even remotely CP, that's what age does. People making a fuss over this are just looking for an excuse to put someone else down on the internet where they know they can get away with it, and make themselves feel better by comparison. If you are gonna go after anyone how about go to the one that was spreading the nsfw art where someone under 18 could more easily get a hold of it? since that has the potential to impact real minors.

Nah, im not going anywhere. And its bad to draw that stuff regardless if its fictional characters or not. It normalizes it and thats awful. So no, there absolutely is a problem here.

odd-rose

How about this. You're an asshole, so why don't you fuck off and leave Michelle alone. You don't have to subscribe to her patreon. You don't even have to look at her art. These are fictional characters, not real people, and so long as it is not explicitly child pornography then there's no problem. None.

odd-rose

How about this. You're an asshole, so why don't you fuck off and leave Michelle alone. You don't have to subscribe to her patreon. You don't even have to look at her art. These are fictional characters, not real people, and so long as it is not explicitly child pornography then there's no problem. None.

Anything for you internet stranger, happy i could get you so worked up. I do wish youd use that energy better than to defend someone who draws pinups of 15 year olds!

I never said they weren't both in the wrong. I don't think that either of them are particularly good people. But one of them IS publicly shaming the other for being upset about pedophilia, while the other is... trying to apologize for being upset about pedophilia? About overreacting, perhaps, but the intentions behind one of those seems distinctly more in the right place than the other, given it comes from actually caring about how things are taken by CSA survivors. Here's a concept: Michelle could have very easily, at any point in time, given a simple "You know what, I didn't think of the fact that aging up my characters to make them bang is kind of skeevy. I'm not going to do that anymore." But as with hundreds of content creators, the entire conversation becomes about how they are the only victim in this story, and have done absolutely nothing wrong. When it comes to minute things that mean very little, or harmful things done on accident and then corrected, then yes it doesn't need to become a battle. But when you're talking about something like looking at your underaged characters in a sexual light... It doesn't mean that death threats are due, but criticism certainly is.

Cha0sniper

@MelNathea Well, people willing to perpetuate a lie to smear someone they dislike disgust me, so I guess neither of us will be happy. Fortunately, I can avoid you quite easily, whereas Michelle is just a BIT more famous than you and will be harder for you to avoid seeing a mention of. So I guess you'll be more unhappy. You would not believe the amount of joy I get from that. TL:DR go jump in a lake

Sure you can. a wrong one at that too, night night

D. Alfonso

Realized that; deleted my post too late looks like. I can make an observation without wanting an argument. Have a good one.

D. Alfonso

Whatever you perceive Michelle's "sins" to be (because it really seems like everyone has their own perception of how this went down/how bad it was/doesn't have the full story, as is human nature), I think we can both agree that causing and partaking in harassment of a person until they contemplate suicide is pretty damned horrid. I think that's a worse "look," personally... maybe just me. Not looking to get into an argument, here of all places, just wanted to make that observation.

Zealothia

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I hope it brings you peace to know that I empathize with what happened to you, and I hope with all my heart it never happens again. It shows how deeply this hurts you, and even so I hope you recover and don't sway to what other people expect of you. I know I and many other fans of yours have got your back and will always support you. Please be safe, my best wishes for you.

Grey Jellyfish

It sucks to live in a world where people are like this

While not a patron to you and previously unaware of this before, I am deeply sorry to hear that you had to go through this. Best wishes in going forward.

The BONSAI

My sympathies for what happened to you, and mad props for going public with this.

Emily Ree

This is appalling. I'm so, so sorry for what you've been put through. No one deservers this kind of treatment. The internet has made it so easy for "fans" to directly contact the creators of their favorite media-- and being an online media creator makes it even easier for "fans" to directly affect your career, let alone your life! Thank you for making this public. You're very brave and your bravery is going to help others. I hope you find closure in this situation. My condolences to you and your family. <3

Chayse Banks

I am so so sorry you had to go through all this.

Kiwikimini

Read it all and the are some garbage ass excuses i'm a CSA and i've never even seen content that makes me blink twice whatever

Caroline Jamhour

I had no idea you were going through this and I'm very sorry to hear about it. There's some really awful, shitty people in the world unfortunately, and it's common that they gravitate towards people who produces beautiful, meaningful things that happen to catch their attention. It's too bad they can't just enjoy something without being so petty and clueless about respecting and acknowledging other human beings. I admire your creativity so much and I love reading your story and seeing your art. And I think you're also very brave to have continued creating it despite going through all this. There's much more people out there who love and support you than these sickos. I think being in your place - having a work with this popularity - would be very scary for me, it's hard enough putting something that can be so intimate as our art and personal universe out there, and it's worse knowing we can be targeted by some awful, crazy people for it. So I think you're very strong and admirable to keep creating and sharing your art with the world. Your work is really amazing. Thank you for that! Love and support to you.

I just want to say that I have never once given credit to the slander campaign led against you, and to express my deepest sympathy for the pain it has caused you. I have continued to and will continue to support your work in every way I have the capacity to. Thank you for being the incredible creator and force for good in the comics community you are. You never have to be perfect to be astoundingly good, and you are astoundingly good.

D. Alfonso

I'm really sorry to hear that this is/was still going on. My SO and I (both fans) were so crushed when the shit publicly hit the fan on Twitter, and I know I got in there and called some people out on their bullshit... but what can really be done against the internet hate machine other than get mad... and really just fan the flames. I see above that you gave another patron leeway to post this elsewhere. If I ever see an applicable conversation, I'll be sure to call them out, with this in my back pocket. What a pathetic excuse for an apology. I really hope you can put this behind you, but I know it will be hard. Best wishes.

I hope this get the attention it deserves now that you've shared it on Twitter. This has been a horrible situation and I'm sorry you've had to go through that. Mob mentality can make people so horrible...

Admiral Concurmonger

I had no idea this was happening, I'm so sorry you're having to put up with this. You're amazingly strong for making it this far and it's incredible you're still making the comic! I will continue reading and supporting.

I cannot personally imagine the extent of this torture you've had to endure because of these people, but I know for certain that you deserved none of it. Your work is amazing and has helped me and many others through a lot and given us hope for the future because of the great things you've done. I may not be the best inspiration or have any real good advice, but these people are not worth such effort and stress. I extend my greatest condolences to you and I hope and pray for your stability and peace of mind. I think I speak for all of your fans when I say that I sincerely hope that this is able to be resolved as we care about you and your comic deeply and wish you only the best.

Erin

You're doing amazing, I'm sorry people can't just enjoy good content and their creators. Hopefully you'll see an apology one day, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. As many others, I'm a lurker, and I just want to show my unwavering support for you and your work. Thank you so much for everything you do.

ZEKE KING

I've always been a lurker of the comic, but I just want to say that you're an incredible artist and an even stronger person to get through this. I am sorry this happened and hopefully the anxiety this has caused can finally start to be shed.

oh gosh, im so sorry this happened. Hope you are doing better.

Hang in there. We love you.

Michelle Fus

It's alright if you tell others, at this point I'm very tired of being accused, and thank you for reading and your support~

Lahtistar

I've been a fan since 2012, but I never known this since I wasn't that deep into social media. This is just really awful and I hope better things comes into your life!! Stay Strong!!

TheSignPainter

I’ve known that whole ordeal was shady from the start. I’m glad that you’re overcoming it, and with every update and piece of artwork you post, it makes me proud to support you. Everything will be okay!! 👏🏻👏🏻

Kadaashi

This "apology" or whatever reads like them just trying to get back at their ex and pin all the blame on them instead of taking responsibility for their own actions. I also get the feeling they are lying about images being Out Of Context since everything was out in the open at the time so they would have known damn well about any context. I'm gonna lose my mind if anyone thinks this apology is sincere. I'm really glad you did not give up, Michelle. Your work is very inspiring to me and so many others. Apologies for any weird typos or grammar Patreon's comment option is badly made and keeps scrolling to the top to the top of what im writing -_-

Overthinker

A part of me always had suspicions that this was the case. I mean, it often is something petty and selfish like shipping and not about protecting actual victims (like that awful gamergate hashtag was simply about a jilted guy trying to get back at his ex instead of 'ethics in game journalism', which was just a convenient pretext). And people purposefully representing things always seems to be par for the course. A discord server I frequent also got wind of a lot of these false accusations and I am partially tempted to copy and paste it there and scream, "SEE?! SEE?! You guys were wrong! Have we learned NOTHING?!", but also realized that it's up to you, Michelle, since this seems to be something very personal. With that said, if there is anything I can do to help, whether it's simply being a listening ear, offering insight or advice, or even writing self-indulgent femslash, let me know and I'll do what I can. Hope things are improving on your end, because your story has been a boon and inspiration for me, fanfic writing wise that is. Thank you, Michelle, for everything.

Vivifx

Pretty much everything has already been said here, but this person is grade a garbage tier - and the fact this seems to stem from a pairing they feel entitled to makes it even more disgusting. At least this flimsy apology hopefully signifies this chapter is at an end, and you can heal from this situation and move forward to a brighter tomorrow. And I hope you can get back to finding the joy in making your comic + telling your story. Your work is so inspiring to many - myself included. When times get tough for me, and I don't feel like I'm ever going to make it where I want to be, I look at what you've done, how far you've come and it helps remind me that with hard work, dedication it is possible to be there - and that keeps me going. Please take all the time you need to take care of yourself + keep doing what you love!

Michelle Fus

Thank you nava, I really sincerely appreciate hearing this from you <333

Nava

I am really angry at these people. They are just stupid children who cannot accept the idea that something they don’t like is happening in the comics, and they pretend that they are allegedly struggling with some kind of problem. They decided to apologize only after their beloved couple appeared in the comic. Disgusting. They are absolutely rotten, envious idiots who aren't capable of doing anything worthy. I am very sorry that because of them you had to go through these terrible things, and I still worry about your condition, but I'm really glad that you found the strength to live and work on. You are very strong! Your art brings so much happiness to me and other people. Your comic book treats me for depression and I know people he even got rid of suicidal thoughts. And you inspire so many artists to create. Even if there are toxic people, much more people sincerely love and support you. You are an amazing person who can make others happy! And I really hope that you have not ceased to love what you create, because you did everything right

Celia Fernández Martín

I didn't know of any of this, I can't believe someone would do something this disgusting for a ship... That' s completly fucked up. I'm glad you're doing better and that the attacks have ceased... I hope this never happens again and if I ever find something like this on the internet I will report it right away... Stay strong <3

nikki

Well said! I am so very sorry you've had to deal with all this. Please remember that there are many of us who care about you and your work. The good will always outweigh the bad. Hang in there! ❤︎

The Real RedFox

Hey Michelle, I Sincerely Hope You're Doing Well In Light Of This Disgusting Mess. I Recently Discovered Your Work And Needless To Say ...Boom!! Instant Fan. I Think The Reason I Feel In Love With Your Art So Quickly Is Because Its Painfully Obvious You Put So Much Emotion Into What You Create And It's Something That Can't Be Done Earnestly Unless You Yourself Have Gone Through All Of This Happiness And Pain. So I'm Ecstatic To Hear You Say You're Moving On, Use This Experience And Create Something More Beautiful. Whatever It May Be I'll Be There To Support You And I Know I Won't Be The Only One.

LateHogan

I'll support you no matter what they say.

Kukkiisart

I remember when this went down mostly over on tumblr at the time. And I remember being so angry on your behalf about the slander. I've been a victim of our O so amazing callout culture too and I was lucky that my follower count was still small and my name wasn't really well known to anyone. So the backlash was comparably mild. Still, even though it was so mild, it made me feel negatively and spiteful about things I used to love. And I eventually compltely left tumblr because of it. I can only try to imagine what it must have been like to you. I don't think a half assed and dishonest "apology" e-mail like this has any hope to make up for the things you had to go through. I'm so proud that you managed to stick with the things you love and are still growing and going strong. You're doing amazing. We're all standing behind you here!

emylisis

The sender of this e-mail is absolutely vile for contacting you like this. Deciding to give you their life's story and... what seems like an attempt to influence how you write your story... is just disgusting on-top of what they have already done. It's unfathomable to me that someone could be so cruel like this. I cannot imagine the pain that such a public smear campaign would cause, but you are incredibly strong for surviving it. Being a creator with mental illness is already so hard, that people would decide to do this to someone is just... it's so cruel. If they truly wanted to make amends, they should make a PUBLIC apology and admit their wrongdoing, not a guilt-trippy email. Thank you for sharing this with us and for continuing your work. Here's to a brighter future for Ava's Demons fans everyone, let's make this the kind of positive space where nothing like this can happen again.

princesslanternfish

i know there isn't much left to be said about this situation, but i just want to say how much i respect and admire you for your strength in persevering despite how much slander, bullying, and ridicule you have gone through over the years. it's truly terrifying how much people do not understand the ramifications of their actions on the internet, and that these kinds of false accusations are a genuine crime and absolute torture to go through, because it's so easy not to support someone accused to be a pedophile. it's so easy to go after someone accused of something so terrible and find them guilty until proven innocent, and even then being proven innocent doesn't stop these fucks. i'm just, so sorry for everything, that you didn't get a proper apology, that they didn't even have the decency to publicly clear your name, and not even caring about your feelings but their own. i just want to say i love your comic, i've been a fan since i was a babby 17 year old still in high school and ava's demon has been an endless source of inspiration for me for many years. i may not be the biggest fan of the latest updates for shipping reasons but holy fuck at least i keep it to myself on my own blog, and i still fully support you and your courage for making this story done how YOU want it to be done despite years of people trying to make you change or stop altogether. i'm so glad you're still here, and that you're still going. stay strong, michelle, we all have your back.

Ku S

Hi Michelle, I hope you are doing well these days. It was difficult, but it's good that you are still here. I hope that your resilience will take you through all the hardships you have and will encounter. Ava's Demon makes me really happy with every update. I don't really know how to convey this to you. I will always support you because you are a wonderful and kind person :) Also, seeing your art really inspires me a lot. I've picked up drawing again after the latest update :)

That's really messed up. I'm sorry for you and yours. Your art is amazing and beautiful.

telana

wow yeah that's uh. wow that's a non-apology if I've ever seen one. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all of that. even without a massive smear campaign, depression is a bitch and a half and no small thing to try and manage. I'm so glad you're still here and that you've decided to keep creating and sharing ava's demon with us. I wouldn't have blamed you one bit for walking away if you needed to, but I'm glad you stayed. hopefully the lies will slowly stop spreading (assuming this person is genuine about wanting no part of it anymore) and things get easier for you <3

Krumla

I'm so sorry for what you've been going through. Had not heard anything about this. Some people are just rotten to the core. And this person needs to be blocked from the internet forever. So glad you are still around and even though I love your comic, it is more important to have you in the world that anything you make. Do whatever you need to be ok.

Michelle Fus

thanks dude, thank you for liking my work at all even if you move on from it at some point. i think about Britney on a daily basis, if she can do it, so can i

StLOrca

Ugh. What a load of crap for anyone to have to deal with. Goddamn internet neckbeards always have to start something. Well, I stand 100% in your corner, Michelle, and (pardon my language) those limp-dick jackwagons can go f*ck themselves.

LazyReader

When shit flies..............Duck

Shae

I don't think i can say anything that hasn't been said beautifully by my fellow patrons above, but i'm so glad you're still here. I'm so glad you're still making content. I'm so glad despite the horrendous amount of vile accusations you managed to get up another day and put pen to paper (more accurately screen). I may not read AD forever, but you got my follow forever. I recently saw an accusing post on the tag, and was very pleasantly surprised to see how many people spoke up besides myself. So many people know better of you Michelle. So many people love your work & your attitude. Sometimes i'll see a really old post from when you were active on tumblr, and made a funny comment on fanart or something, and i go, gosh dang, why wasn't i here for that?? But honestly you're like, as tough as Britney Spears when she got all that shit in the 90s and 00s (i was like a kid ok i dont remember the timeline well, only that she got shit on so bad for just breathing). Idk, i'm just really proud and really glad you're still here Michelle. Even if i do bitch and whine dramatically about the comic sometimes, i know that I like you regardless as a person. I know a lot of people feel the same. The comic is not an equivalent to you, and you are worth more than the comic. I'm sorry that putting your art out there has brought you so much pain.

Richard Hernandez

I'm so sorry you had to deal with this abuse. Thank you for not giving up and sharing your wonderful work with us.

Razzek

I'm so sorry these jerks are still coming after you. I know I'm no saint, but once I sorted myself out I realised that you don't and never did deserve this kind of crap from anyone. I'm so glad you haven't given in and I really look up to you for continuing to keep working in spite of these people. You continuing to push on and succeed is driving them crazy and you will always be stronger and braver than they can even imagine. Thank you for still sharing your amazing work with us all!

Madison R

At the very least you can take solace in the fact that those who try to drag and take down others live in glass houses themselves. So sorry to hear about all the harm this has caused to your mental health. It makes me so sad the stress and pressure that are put on content creators. At the very least I hope you’re able to get a little closure from this. Here’s to being on the up and up again! May you continue to be a great inspiration to your fans and bring forth more and more beautiful art.

shadowscribble

As a very private person and life long introvert. I am truly saddened that you had to go through this. Crap like that is so much worse than a younger me's personal fears at being a creative could've ever created, but seeing you persevere without building a new existence is like a beacon of hope. I'm glad you immediately tore this letter apart for the veiled "thank you for giving me what I want" it is.

HimbeereRose (Kat)

Michelle, no matter what happens or has happened in the past, thank you for being so strong. Thank you for being an absolute queen and thriving in the hell these people put you through. Those of us who know you're better than the accusations will always love you. If you want to rest and heal then by damn you deserve it, we're patreons because we want to support YOU. Your happiness is vital and you deserve the best for all that you've given us and the world.

Altair Hayes

Holy fucking shit, this email is just abhorrent. At any given point they either deflect blame onto someone else, or they victimize themselves as a pathetic attempt for sympathy. Michelle, I honestly don't know what to say, other than: You have my full support and always will. Fuck these trolls/harassers, they'll wallow and rot while you move on to accomplish great things.

Michelle Fus

Thank you everyone, I really do appreciate all the responses, they are helping me heal and I appreciate and love all of you, looking forward to sharing more of the story this week~

CrookedTeeth

Michelle when shit storm started with the whole "virgin nerd lord" bullshit. I stood by your side and when this crap happened I rolled my eyes because it was just a repeat until it blew up. I've never once believed them and I always wanted to tell you that you inspired me. You helped me be more creative and want to make comics of my own. Your art and your comic helped me out more than you know and Avas demon forever has a special place in my heart. I'm very glad this person sent you something at least albeit being a half assed apology. Please know that amongst the sea if bullshit you have faces that true fans of your work exist. People who wish you well and all the fortune in the world. I really hope you won't have to go through this again but if you do I'll continue to stand by you and advocate for you as a fan. I.e telling people to fuck off You are always in my wishes. Thank you for art and your wonderful story

JuJuBean

Also, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take care of yourself before worrying about producing content. We all understand and would rather see you happy over anything else :)

JuJuBean

Michelle, thank you for sharing this post and we stand to support you. Nobody deserves to be harassed online or in person and I couldn’t imagine how this must have felt... I had absolutely no idea this was going on, but I see now. I’m super glad you shared this with us and thank you again ❤️ I’m also glad you are continuing to persevere and we’re all very proud of you. Also, your comic is truly one of the most amazing stories I’ve had the privilege to read, but if someone takes it upon themselves to act maliciously toward the creator because the content doesn’t fit their desires, they need to admit to themselves that they need help and acquire a more meaningful lifestyle. You’ll never be able to make everyone happy, and sadly some people want to hurt others out of shear hatred or selfishness, but we and so many others are so SO glad you’re here in this life with us. You ROCK.

Mr Ru

I would be so tempted to tell them they are never forgiven and have to face the damage they caused. You're such a tough egg!

Catherine

It is truly vile how people can destroy reputations and lives based off of false information, then turn around and act like /they/ are the victim since they were "misled" by others. Your strength and perseverance through what sounds like a true living nightmare is so commendable. I hope no one else will ever try to use your art and passions against you, no one deserves that but especially not you. Your openness about such issues and love for this community has been obvious since day 1 of me being here, so THANK YOU Michelle for staying with us and for not giving in to all these lies and slander. I know I'm not the only one here that's relieved you made it through the hardest times to still be with us today. Lots and lots of love your way, hopefully this will really be the end of all this for good. Semper prorsum!

I just learned, through this post, about this story. As a social activist, I see a lot of similar stories, about people being harrassed for their convictions, or who they are, by people who cannot accept something that is not shaped as they want to be. I didn't know this could happen in the art community, though. But I'm glad you somehow found closure with this message, it's seems like the most important thing to me. Please take care of yourself ! Your mental and physical health is more important than anything, even producing content.

Coldau

God Michelle, I'm sorry about that shit that happened, and how it affected you. You didn't deserve it at all. I'm sorry that they made something that you should love into a hell for you to even continue. This person is a scumbag, smearing your name because of their own petty ass issues and wants. Christ, I'd sue honestly, with them spreading rumors and shit that you were a pedophile and absolutely trying to ruin you. I hope you're doing better, and that things are getting better. These past few years have absolutely sucked dick huh?

I'm so sorry you had to deal with all this. This is inexcusable and I hate to see people making excuses for their actions instead of actually apologizing. You are wonderful and I love reading your comic. I love the story and seeing where it goes, but I hope you take care of yourself instead of rushing into another update.

Long time supporter first time commenter. I’m sorry this happened to you, I don’t understand why people can’t just enjoy a wonderful story and the beautiful art you create. I don’t understand why people always just want to put people down. But don’t let them get to you! Look after yourself, the people who truly support you want you to be happy and healthy. Tell stories because you want to, do the things you want to. Sending love and support to you!

Holly H

I’m so sorry to hear that you went through all of this. It’s sad to hear that there’s people out there who would do these things, please know that there’s so many people who love your comic. I love seeing the update panels on Twitter and rushing over to read it! Another update would be cool but please prioritise taking care of yourself! Your health and happiness comes first!

Lady of Monsters

Im so sorry you have to go through this shit Michelle, these guys are assholes who jsut want to make themselves feel better.

i'm so sorry Michelle, people like this are truly selfish and they can't understand that behind a screen there is a person. You are my favorite artist and your webcomic is one of my favorite media ever, i really wish you the best and please remember that you are loved ♡

Navisia

This person is an idiot and isnt trying to make anything right, they are simply trying to make themselves feel better. This entire email is a soulless, selfish gesture that does nothing but drag up unpleasant memories for you. It's actually pretty pathetic.

Aecusim

Sounds like someone who felt guilty but didn't want to admit their own shortcomings. Bless you, been a fan for a long time. I'm glad you decided to stick to Ava's Demon. Cheers.

Anna

I’m so sorry for everything that’s happened to you Michelle :( I’m glad you’re okay, and I hope things get much better and easier. You and your comic inspired me so much, I started reading when I was a freshman in highschool and now I’m 20, an illustration major with a small webcomic because I saw you do it. I’ve had bipolar disorder and take lots of meds and stuff and for a long time in highschool I really didn’t know what to do with my life and at the really low depressive episodes I would consider suicide. But then I thought that I could never make my dream of being an artist and making my webcomic true and I wouldn’t be able to be like you. You’re really my hero and you’ve inspired me so much. Thank you

Ewin

I appreciate all the work and hardships you go through in order to create content for us. Thank you so much Michelle for being you and continuing to stay strong! I look up to you a lot and I wish the best upon you! ❤

kole

I’m sorry about all the struggles you’ve been put through, I hope you’re doing well 💕

Maddy

I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. It’s disgusting how this person attempted to message you to clear their conscious rather then actually apologize. Especially through an email rather then in the public. It’s a shame there’s no way to stop targeted harassment online.