Silver W. King
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If It's Stupid But It Works... Then It's Still Stupid & It's a Miracle That It Worked - Chapter 4
🕑 Added 2025-10-24 13:52:23 +0000 UTCThankfully, Zeus continued to flex by ensuring the plane landed in Lake Whitehurst, basically right next to the Norfolk International Airport.
After getting on the boats to the airport, and ensuring some people saw me alive, I used the Mist to disguise my leaving and left. Wait, that's redundant.
Anyways, taking a taxi to the nearest port (I swear something about how the taxi trip should be shorter was in the back of my mind, but I'm not sure why), Port of Norfolk, I set about finding a boat to take me to Westport.
That part was surprisingly easy. I found a satyr (half-goat, half-man friendly monster), who does seafare for demigods to help them reach Camp Half-Blood.
Apparently some of the no-searcher satyrs—Searchers are satyrs that looks for the missing God of the Wilds, Pan—rather than actively look for demigods to bring to Camp Hald-Blood, would just pick frequently designated locations and just pick up demigods that get there. It also helps that those places now are a constant harbor of relative safety, in that you know you'll find a satyr there that can help you get to Camp Half-Blood, or maybe aid you on a quest a little.
"So you're returning from a quest?" Thorny the satyr asked as he watched over me steer the boat.
I didn't even intent steer the boat, but Thorny saw me holding helm, and just started telling me how to take it out of port, and sail. Nice guy. Satyr.
"Nah, I'm going on one. Although it's kind of a two-in-one quest." I said back, lightly holding the helm, just adjusting left or right every once in a while. I don't actually know if what I'm doing is right or wrong, just gut feeling, and Thorny wasn't correcting me, so likely I wasn't messing up.
"Two-in-one?" Thorny blinked at that, although he kept glancing at something in the distance. I wasn't sure what as I was looking towards Thorny while talking to him. It's polite to look people in the eyes while talking and all that.
Besides, were in open water now, and nothing is around us, so its not like I'm gonna hit something by accident.
"Yeah, I was asked by Lord Hermes to help one of his kids to reach Camp Half-Blood, since I'm going there. And then I accidently took a plane without paying tribute to Lord Zeus, so I have to help his kid reach camp as well." I casually answered back.
Hmm, the sky is darkening. I wonder when will Thorny tell me to change course? I worried we might be heading into a storm.
"Huh, you're lucky he only asked you to—Wait, he asked you to do what!?" Thorny suddenly shouted, wide eyed.
"What?" I blinked at him in surprise.
"The Sky Lord has a kid?! Oh... oh Pan, oh shit!" The satyr said, as he started to pace.
"What? What are you on about?" Why he's acting like this is the first time he's heard about Zeus breaking the oath not to have kids. I mean, even Poseidon did it too.
"Why aren't you panicking? The Lord of Thunder broke his oath, the Great Prophecy is upon us!" Thorny said urgently at me.
...Oh. This is the first time he's heard this.
"The what now?" I asked. I'm not suppose to know what the Great Prophecy is after all.
"The Great—Wait. How do you not know this when you've lived in Camp Half-Blood?"
"I've never been to Camp Half-Blood." I shrugged.
"...Excuse me—"
Crack-Thoom.
Distant thunder echoed far on the horizon. Thorny snapped back toward our path and the sky ahead.
"Okay, look. We'll discuss all of that later. Just take us out of the storm, or maneuver us around it. I'm not even sure why you kept heading toward it all this time. Did we avoid something else?" He said, trying to calm himself down.
"What are you talking about?" I blinked in confusion.
Slowly Thorny turned his head to look at me, dread on his paling face.
"You... do know how to sail, right? Or, or use whatever demigod instinct you got from whatever sea-related godly parent you have, to move us around the storm. You, you know!?" He said with increasing quiet panic.
"I've never sailed before." I said back slowly starting to panic a little, as well.
"What do you mean 'you've never sailed before'!? Then why did you grab the helm from the start?" Thorny exploded, fear itched on his face. Yep, his panic meter instantly filled up.
"I was just playing! I grabbed it to feel what it was like, then you started telling me how to take out the boat and didn't take the steering wheel from me. I thought you were letting me practice till you took over for the serious part!"
"Di immortales! Okay, okay, move over I got this!" Thorny pushed me aside to take the steering wheel. I jumped aside to let him.
CRACK-THOOM!
The storm reached us. Much faster than it had any logical sense to do so. It was on the horizon on moment, and now we were in it the next.
"NOPE! NOPE! I DON'T GOT THIS!" Thorny shouted and he pulled me back, so I was left holding the helm again. "LORD POSEIDON MUST BE PISSED! DO SOMETHING!"
"Okay! Okay!" I tried to think of what to do. I wanted to complain that Thorny should have said something earlier, but that's not helpful and we literally have no time for 'what ifs'. "It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility." I said to myself.
"Right... Right, okay." Thorny said as he gathered his nerves and nodded to himself. Those words were for me, but apparently he took them as encouragement for himself. Alright, good for you. Go, Thorny. "Look, do you have something we could give to Poseidon to appease him?"
I don't think he's gonna like porn like Zeus did.
"I have literally no idea what would Poseidon like. A surfboard maybe? But I don't have that." I shrugged.
I noticed my shirt clinging to my skin. It was wet and heavy from the rain we were now under. Also the boat rocking was getting a bit bad.
Thorny either bleated loudly or cursed loudly in Ancient Greek, I wasn't sure which.
"Okay, do you maybe know who your godly parent is? Maybe they're an ally of the Sea God, or, or can owe him a favor for sparing you or something!" Thorny asked out, throwing any idea at the board.
"My dad is Koalemos."
"Who?" Thorny tilted his head in confusion.
"The God of Stupidity." I answered.
Thorny blinked, somehow now getting quiet despite the situation.
"..."
"..."
He just kept staring at me, and I stared back out of politeness.
"..."
"..."
CRACK-THOOM!
The thunder and lightning reminded us we were still in a storm. As if the rain and wind weren't already doing so.
"Oh. I'm going to die today." Thorny said calmly.
Then grabbed on to a mast nearby with his hands and feet, tied himself with a rope and start screaming.
Welp, he's being proactive on something I guess.
Now how to get out of this?
"Thorny!"
"WHAT?"
"Can you give me a direction? Somewhere to head towards to get out of the storm?"
The boat lurched up and down from a rough wave, and a small wave of sea water slammed into me. Thankfully I kept holding onto the helm.
"WHAT'S THE POINT? YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAIL!" Thorny was crying now.
"BETTER DO SOMETHING THAN NOTHING! GIVE ME A DIRECTION!" I shouted back, and that seemed to snap momentarily out of his cry panic. A small bit of hope lit up in his eyes.
"THAT WAY!" He shouted and pointed at some patch of water far away, where the waters were kinda calmer. "IF YOU CAN GET THERE, THEN WE'LL HAVE PASSED THE WORST OF IT!"
"OKAY!" I said back without looking giving him a thumbs up. "Alright, time to do this." I said to myself.
A memory of my dad's words, that question he gave me came back to me.
===x===
"What is the difference between a Hero and a Fool?"
===x===
I grinned as I remembered the answer.
"Time to be a Successful Fool." I said, before shouting up to the heavens. "LORD POSEIDON! RATE MY SAILING AS I PASS THE STORM OUTTA TEN!"
===x===
Poseidon's latest anger bout started off, as they usually do, after interacting with one of his family members.
He had been in talks with Athena about a latest shipment of seasilk clothes, that Poseidon had commissioned.
Poseidon jeering, offhandedly made one comment or another about a Goddess of Wisdom not being able to keep a schedule, and Athena replied about how Poseidon can't keep his realm in order, without his subjects wrecking it.
Poseidon and Athena argued for a while longer, trading veiled insults, that almost reached the point of actual insults and contention. Poseidon almost wasn't going to pay Athena for the commission, or forestall it out of spite, but his better senses took command of him for the time.
With the meeting done, and Poseidon in a foul mood, and little patience, he went to see what commotion Athena had pointed at, since with his divine senses, he 'felt' where she pointed at or implied.
Looking into that direction, Poseidon discovered that a kraken had awakened and was starting to destroy the surroundings in an angry flailing, lashing out due to being woken up. It woke up due to a waste barrel having fallen from a ship, and happened to land and break right into its home, in front of its nose, waking it up in disgust and rage.
All of this wasn't what caused the Lord of the Seas temperament to snap. No, it was that the kraken had inadvertently smashed a large portion of Poseidon's second favorite underwater summer castle. One that he has taken Sally Jackson to that one time.
Thus Poseidon shouted and raged causing a storm, that had the kraken hide in fear, and water nymphs, nereids and oceanids alike, trying to appease him.
Yet his wrathful frustration wouldn't abide so easily.
And just then Poseidon heard a demigod's prayer through the storm. A demigod with the misfortune to be stranded in his storm.
"LORD POSEIDON! RATE MY SAILING AS I PASS THE STORM OUTTA TEN!"
Poseidon had to actually pause at hearing something so idiotic, while he was in his fugue.
He looked to see a demigod on a simple boat caught in his storm, with a satyr hanging onto the mast.
Rather than pray safe passage, to beg for mercy, for his life, the demigod was asking... for Poseidon to judge his sailing?
How arrogant! How foolish! Does this mortal dare think my storm is something trifle? Something to joke about? That it could be turned into a simple contest?!
"Fine then! Contest this!" Poseidon growled, his voice ever deep sea monster shouting at once.
A giant wave came up, only for the demigod to luckily have turned early on, and sailed along it length, rather than height, and passed it over.
But of course that was nothing, as it was an opening for a whirlpool afterwards, which—
The demigod sailed near directly to the center of, using the centripetal force of the whirlpool to speed up and then launched the boat out of the whirlpool into the air. That was luck, not skill.
Poseidon extended the range of the whirlpool, as to remove the demigod's lucky break—
The sails were open so the boat glided for a while, and left the whirlpool's range before landed back into the rough waters.
...Twice. Twice the boy was lucky.
Poseidon checked to see if the body was a son of Tyche. He could suppress divine luck if he really needed to, but it would be beneath him if he did so. No, rather he would show this brat, that he could only be so lucky.
The boy didn't have the feel of Tyche's divinity, but maybe he didn't know his parent, or was acknowledged by them.
"Very well, then." Poseidon transferred sharks into the storm, and blessed them to swim within it without trouble, directing them to go after the boat.
Regardless, the momentary speculation passed—Poseidon not noticing his anger gradually simmered out, in this challenge and his contemplation.
The Sea God then sent his last 'challenge' a tsunami in the middle of the ocean, that started slow that the demigod sailor would think he could just pass directly over it, only for the wave to expand to its full height.
And should the demigod try to go right or left, he would have to deal with the giant sharks.
"Now what will you do about that one?" Poseidon chuckled with a grin, not realizing he was enjoying himself, his mind now off the ruined underwater summer castle.
The demigod went directly into the wave, climbing it up, only to activate Poseidon's trap card as the rogue tsunami wave turned inward, its top curved to close on itself to make a barrel, before collapsing on itself, and thus break the boat with its weight as it comes down.
The demigod rather than change course, kept going up and up and up, and over. The boat was slowing, as it didn't have the speed to keep moving, and would now fall upside down.
Except the demigod, in an unexplainable move, managed to close the sails, gaining some speed, then opened it up once the boat finished completing the curve, and was now moving down. Then he opened the sails again.
The boat was going down at an angle, to begin moving along side the wave, but it was within a water tunnel, such action was futile.
Except the strong wind within the tsunami wave barrel caught the sails, and the demigod steered the boat down, and then right back up the wave, while moving along its length.
He did a loop de loop.
In the middle of a storm, and in the heart of a rogue wave; with his tiny boat, the demigod went into the tsunami wave and did a loop de loop with his boat.
Then another. And another.
The satyr throw up, his vomit making a spiraling motion.
...snort.
Poseidon covered his mouth. A snicker slipped through. Then another. And another.
Laughter escaped Poseidon's mouth.
It was so silly. It was stupid. The satyr's face, the demigod's laughter of exhilaration... the boat sailing loop de loop,
The boat burst out of the water tunnel, like a sea serpent launching out of the water. It was quite the inspiring sight.
And the boat flew over the school of sharks that were still around the collapsing wave, before landing in the waters again.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Poseidon found himself holding his stomach in laughter.
Yes, it was most definitely luck. As the God of the Seas, he surveys all within it, and thus can know if a sailor's steering was skill or luck.
That demigod's sailing was all luck. Yet it was entertaining to watch. His anger abided for now, staying in the back of his mind, but not overtaking him like before.
As the storm began to calm down, sharks dismissed, and the boat, while roughed up, was still in one piece.
Poseidon now calm could see that the boy had no ill intent, nor was he acting in hubris. Rather he accepted that the storm was there, and thus decided to ask Poseidon on how well he would do, in hopes of survival. This was likely due to the duo of satyr and demigod having nothing to offer him. Or maybe nothing they could afford to part with.
In the end, Poseidon did think about the boy's sailing in his head, then sent a nereid to tell the boy his score.
The mermaid rose up from the water, getting the duo's attention and holding five fingers up. With both hands.
Poseidon sighed. She was probably trying to emphasis the score of five in her own way.
"TEN OUTTA TEN?! AWESOME!" The demigod shouted.
Poseidon went a telepathic message to the mermaid to correct herself.
The mermaid blinked and panicked at having maybe misrepresented her god, and lowered one hand.
Now, I wonder how will he react? Will your pride be bruise after surviving all of that, only to be seen as mediocre?
"FIVE OUTTA TEN?! FUCK YEAH! I'LL TAKE IT!"
Poseidon's lips twitch, into something of a begrudging smile. The demigod was humble in the end after all. Enthusiastically at that.
"Holy hades, Poseidon actually judged your insane sailing, rather than be pissed at you, and just kill us for the audacity of it." The satyr said to himself, but his voice was heard all the same by the demigod.
"I mean, why not? He wasn't angry at us specifically, and since the situation was happening, why not? We were dead anyways if we fail, and now we have a blessing for the voyage." The demigod replied.
Poseidon stilled, his rage returning, at the audacity of the demigod to claim that the Sea God would bless his journey just by demanding it.
For a moment, Poseidon contemplated how to fell this demigod to teach him a lesson, on his presumptions.
"What blessing?" Asked the confused satyr.
"You know, the blessing of how hard or easy, long or short, our journey will be, based on how well I sailed through the storm?" The prideful demigod said, in an equally confused tone.
Poseidon raised his hand about to deliver his opinion on this demigod's presumptive demand.
"When did you do that?" The satyr asked.
"When..." The demigod then paused, realizing his error. Poseidon stayed his hand to see how this played out. "Gods dammit," the demigod lowered his head in annoyance, letting himself hit on of the helm's handles. "I completely forgot to specific why I asked him to rate my sailing!" He whined, and Poseidon lowered his hand. A smile twitching on his face.
Not prideful. Just an idiot. The God of the Seas chuckled and shook his head.
"Do you think I should ask for another storm so we can have a do-over?" The demigod wondered.
"NO!" The satyr shouted with all his might.
Poseidon laughed, amusement washing away his anger and irritation. He supposes he can overlook those two, and let them pass through his waters untroubled. He wouldn't help or quicken their journey, but since they did entertain him, he'll let them have a peaceful trip.
Poseidon turn his sight away from the demigod and satyr, and focused on ordering cyclopes to rebuild his summer castle.
He would laugh every once in a while, when he remembered the boat loop de loop.
Comments
Dirk Gent Lee
This is the kind of idiocy that’s super fun to read. Great chapter! This one feels like it’s gonna be a fun ride
DTShadow
Thank you for the great chapter I kept laughing!
Kz3838
Thank you for the great chapter, he's such an idiot but he's hilarious. Stay safe out there and keep up the good work!
Red Bard
Like father, like son
