James_D_Fawkes
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[FRW] Chapter 11: Prognosis I
🕑 Added 2022-04-26 17:53:45 +0000 UTCI wish I could give this enough focus to have chapters for it out more frequently, but Hereafter has just been consuming so much more of my attention.
In any case, there was so much infodumping the last few chapters, so now we can finally start moving forward again. I actually went back at the suggestion of my editing team and added another 700-ish words to this chapter, adding some flair and flourish and a little more emotion here and there.
Honestly, I'm a little impatient to get to the Grail War proper, too. There's so much that's going to happen, so much deliciousness... But it would utterly wreck a lot of the important establishing stuff to jump straight to it, so for now, everyone will just have to get their fill of action from Yukio getting his ass beat by Aife next chapter.
EDIT: Moving down.
Comments
Caractacus
I feel like this comment actually fits better with Chapter 10, and I'm wondering if that's where you actually meant to post it, or if I just wasn't quite clear about some of the character interactions in this one. But you're right, in that the last few chapters have been a bit of a slog because they kept dragging on and I kept missing some parts where the characters retread the same ground. This chapter was meant to start forcing them forward, but it's only part 1 of a 2 part scheme meant to establish this dysfunctional team starting to work towards their goals. The next chapter is meant to push things a little further forward by having more cold water dropped on Yukio's shoulders. The way things are is mostly down to the fact that I *have* been writing these with so much time put between them IRL. I lose track of where things were and have trouble getting back to it, and the result was the last three chapters. I'm hoping that forcing things out of that pattern will get everything moving again.
Marc Beans
Honestly I feel this retreated stuff covered already covered. He already asked for training and now we get a really long thing leading to tricking Aife into it. And the last three chapters feel like one long extended segment that dragged on, I think that feeing might be ameliorated if they were one big chapter. I just, really struggled to be interested in it.
