mollystars
patreon
{ space tier+ } general update 08.16.25
🕑 Added 2025-08-16 23:38:32 +0000 UTChiya!
it's been a bit since i last updated, and i want to just get you up to speed on where i've been at lately.
i wanna apologize for not much progress coming as of late for the next video; since getting a decent outline of everything done, i wanted to get straight to writing/recording, but i'll just keep it a buck with you, july up to now has been particularly rough on me and thrown me completely off course of my original plan for this time of year. it's not all bad! but it's not at all what i was expecting.
this year has unsurprisingly been a very hectic and unpredictable one, and it's been hard to find stability throughout, as i'm sure is the case for A Lot of people; initially it had a lot to do with not knowing when the new chapters would come out, but there's also just been a prevailing feeling of not quite knowing how to keep myself sane and focused amidst the uh, [points vaguely in the direction of Everything happening lately]. what got me this time particularly was a mix of burnout, an excess of pretty difficult news globally, and a lot of personal life stuff flaring up that i needed to tend to, which included said burnout and realizing that i kind of needed to take a step back and check in on myself, mentally and creatively. on top of that too, i'm still not even Fully out of this state of Changes Happening, because i'm soon going to be seeing a change in my living situation; one of my partners is gearing up to actually move in with me, which means i'll be consistently sharing my personal and workspace with someone for what may likely be the Foreseeable Future (we're gonna see how it goes but it's hard to imagine it Not working out). i'm very excited for that, naturally! but it's also surreal, as someone that's been so accustomed to having all that space for myself.
this has led me to a...surprising turn. i don't actually feel Too bad about not much progress having been made on the next video, because in lieu of that, i've found myself reconnecting with a project that more or less has defined my trajectory these past few years; you could call it my personal dream project, my own "DELTARUNE", the thing that keeps me up at night just thinking about it, that all of this feels like it's building up to. i realized that in order to really feel confident about everything else going forward, i needed to actually get back to touching that project again and bringing it up to speed with where i am now in my skills and experience. i've been wanting to really love what i am thinking about it again, and to actually believe in it. so, this past month has consisted of A LOT of re-sorting and brainstorming about the finer details of this one and figuring out how to bring it to a point i'm actually happy with.
of course, there's things i'm not gonna be able to fill the gaps on until i like...am actually making the thing. but, if i don't feel like the narrative of it is where it should be, it sort of saps the motivation from everything else, i notice. the easy way to put it is: there's a bit of this project in everything i've been doing. and i do mean Everything. it's the roots of what i'm making, and i want to make sure those are maintained.
my goal with this patreon from the start was always to specifically account for this kind of detour on my part, because i've always known that is just my process sometimes: have a plan, then have something happen personally that throws me for a loop, and suddenly i'm completely pivoting even if i'm still giving whatever it is my all. make no mistake, i am still going to make the next video, but in order to do that, i want to just finally get some of the personal shit out of my system first rather than follow a certain order of things to do; i've been keeping a lot of this in my head for so long that it's just grown nearly impossible to ignore it, and honestly? with everything happening recently that i'm seeing, it also feels too relevant to not at least try to use this project as an outlet. this year has been a huge reminder for me that there is no truly right time, there is no "someone else", and you never know how much time you have and how much you can fit in it: so the very least i can do to be kind to myself is to not ignore the deepest parts of me creatively that want to speak out a bit. you would think playing the new chapters would 100% just throw me into "i have to make Content" mode, but the first thing i've always felt like doing because of games like DR is...well, you can imagine it, can't you? :)
i've been very secretive about the non-youtube aspects of what i do since starting all this, and while i'm still gonna leave gaps about What the projects are and exactly what they're about (i STRONGLY do not want people to have certain false pretenses of what my work will look like), i think at least making people aware that it exists and that it's what i'm gearing up towards is the best move. not in such a way that it abandons the youtube side (in fact, i think they go hand-in-hand in some regard), but enough that i make my intentions clear in the long-term, at least to y'all here. i love brainrotting about my interests, and i will continue to when there's something that feels worth doing a quirky little investigation on. but even more so, i have characters and stories and Feelings that i want people to know, and to cherish. i'm a storyteller above all else, and it'd be just rude to not show you what i've been sleepless about for the past several years, and will Continue to be for quite a while.
i wasn't sure at first if i would even gain an audience that likes me for me at all, but now that i have a sense that's what my audience is indeed here for, i don't know what the point in "hiding" it so much...is, anymore.
if this goes well...then hopefully, i can communicate that Efficiently in the next video alongside what people are expecting out of it. i'll be more offline while i'm essentially working from the inside out creatively to reinforce this project more, then on another project + hopefully some music, and then back to focusing on youtube stuff. in fact, i already am feeling the motivation to pivot to some other stuff just because i already am feeling VERY good about what i have for this project of mine as of late. there's still work to do, but i get the feeling that once i'm past the initial bumps, it's just gonna come to me naturally.
just remember: nearly everything i make, or have made, is vent art.
i hope to have more to show for it soon. but in any case, know that i'm always doing something, or at least trying to, and the support i get for just allowing myself to make Whatever project i want is incredibly important to me and motivates me especially, on top of loving what i'm making so far.
thank you as always for taking the time to read this, and i'll be seeing y'all soon <3 take care of yourselves, especially now. when i have more to show, i want it to be Really worth it.
Comments
Sevalos
As someone who's also been having a very chaotic summer, this is quite nice to hear. I've also found myself confronting creativity and uncertainty, and to hear that you're slowly finding your way through it gives me hope. I wish you well on your journey!
Mortimeir
The creative muse is a weird soup, formless and expansive, it’s ok to get lost in there and get overwhelmed (especially with everything going on rn). You may not be able to travel in a straight line while in the muse but it’s alright, that’s the beauty of it, inspiration is strange and convoluted but that’s what makes it magical.
