BobOfTheHedgeField
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I Hate Mondays
🕑 Added 2025-05-20 16:04:05 +0000 UTCWaking up to the soft sound of chittering is not what I expected for a Monday morning, what I expected was a cup of coffee and a boring monotonous day at my shitty part time job before cramming Chemistry into my brain for an upcoming exam. Expecting to feel the comforting sheets of my bed, or even the soft head of my dog, I reach over next to myself and grab on to what seems to be a bunch of spiky pebbles. It feels as though I'm seeing a hundred of everything, my eyes pried open by some unseen force, as I try to blink them clear in order to peer at what's in my hand.
Widening my eyes in confusion I see a handful of small purple bugs filling what is most certainly not my hand accompanied by a backdrop that is most certainly NOT my room. In my now chitin covered appendage? Grabber? I throw the army of tiny wretches away from me I try to stand up, suddenly awake from the disgusting sight. Only to find myself knee deep in an ocean of the little bastards.
"Of all things why bugs???"
I ask whatever cruel bug obsessed person? Alien? Deity? Put me here in this fucked up hellhole.
["That's not a very nice thing to say about your older siblings."]
Turning around towards the unsettling voice of the body of a massive bug creature I blink in shock and horror. This is it. I'm gonna get turned into a part of the bug soup by the Bug God.
The noises coming from it sounding more like nails on a chalkboard than anyone trying to speak.
["You should apologize."]
"Go fuck yourself."
Some would say that pissing off the giant bug thing isn't a good idea, but making decisions without my morning coffee perhaps isn't my forte. Especially considering my surroundings.
["Already did!"] I- What? What does that even imply?
["Now then, with pleasantries out of the way allow me to introduce myself properly as it has been quite a while since I have graced the universe with my presence. I am Tayzzyronth, and I have chosen you to become my Emanator!"]
That last word sounds vaguely familiar, but I don't think I've ever heard that name in my life.
"Never heard of you."
The creature slumps revealing its upper body, of a pale figure with a glowing pink heart as a face. But not the organ, no more of something out of an edgy thirteen year old's notebook. The figure is familiar but I can't place exactly why . . .
["Ah, perhaps it's been longer than I thought . . . anyways! I am the great Tayzzyronth and I bestow upon you the power of Propagation! Now go forth and spread yourself across the universe reaping havoc and chaos!"]
His voice carries a deep and unnerving buzz that feels as though it comes from every bug in this dark void as he rises up with a slight gusto.
"Absolutely not." I don't even need to think twice, that sounds like a huge waste of time.
["W-what! Why not? I can assure you, the power of Propagation shall allow you to experience power and pleasure beyond your wildest dreams!"]
Propagation? Wait- is he?
"Dude you want me to have a shit ton of sex?" Ya know what, he might not be that bad! Ignoring the whole bug thing.
The figure seems to gain some more vigor back and bounces upwards with joy.
["Yes! Of course! I know you humans propagate a little differently, so I've set things up for you to have tons of fun!"]
Looking at my chitinous limbs I turn back up to the stupid idiot bug creature with a sigh.
"Who would want to fuck a freaky ass bug creature though? And I'm NOT fucking bugs." Let it be known that I am not a fan of those little bastards, spiders are cool though. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that.
The figure, seeming almost proud of itself, puffs out its chest.
["Don't worry I have that handled! No species will be able to resist you, your body is far stronger and more durable than what most can offer after all, and you can even clone yourself and overwhelm them if that doesn't work!"]
I'm struck speechless by the Horny Bug God as it nods with joy as though saying 'Praise me!' My opinion of the freaky bug guy dropping off a cliff.
"Dude, what the fuck. I'm not doing that."
It's large head tilts in confusion.
["W-what? Why not!"]
Instead of responding I instead flip him off. Or at least I try to with my . . . whatever this arm thing is called.
He deflates at the gesture, somehow understanding the meaning behind it despite my lack of fingers.
["My most special child is bullying me! This isn't fair!"]
"I'm not gonna go around" my expression contorts in disgust,"raping every woman I come across in order to 'Propagate' myself for your sick whims."
["F-fine! B-but you still need to Propagate yourself a bit, ok!"]
"Nah, turn me back into a human, I'm out."
Bug Fucker shakes his head in bafflement. Can he not fathom that someone wouldn't want to do horrible shit to other people? Even if I was onboard with the idea, how could I possibly trust this thing when it's clearly so callous about others.
["But the body I bestowed upon you is already wonderful! Perfect for the tasks I planned for you! Everyone will love it as long as you try your hardest!"]
"Yeah, I'm not doing your 'tasks'. Send me back Bug Bitch." Increasingly becoming more irate at this thing for even attempting to convince me to do something so morally corroded is maddening.
I'm certainly not a 'great' person, but even I can only go so far before the pit in my stomach gnaws at me and begs me to be a bit kinder to others. I'm a bleeding heart when it comes down to it, despite my darker moments.
["A-ah, well I'm kinda limited on power right now, so I can't really . . . do that . . ."]
". . ."
". . ."
"I'm gonna kill you."
["No need to go that far! Look, I can turn you back into a human and you even get to keep my blessing! Cloning, 'Propagation-Aura', a powerful body . . . the list goes on!"]
Propagation what?
"Nah, just turn me back into a human. Standard ass ape creature."
The Bug Bitch folds in on himself a bit and he twiddles his thumbs.
["Ah, well I can't exactly remove your powers."]
". . . " My arm slowly raises in an avid attempt to flip him off only to be cut off by his inane rambling.
["Look, look, your old man will try his best ok! It's not often I favor a child so much, but I'm kinda at my wit's end here being trapped in Jail and all. Perhaps I should have read a book or two on raising children back when I had the chance . . ."]
Wow, someone actually sent this guy to Horny Jail. You can't make this shit up.
Wait a second.
"You don't raise your own children?!"
["Aw, well ya know! Being the Aeon of Propagation is a busy job!"]
He at least has the candor to look slightly shameful.
There's another familiar word though, 'Aeon' was it?
Seriously, where am I?
["Alright, I'll try to modify the powers I've given you to be more 'your style' I guess it would be a good experiment anyways. Though honestly you'll probably be a lot weaker than I'd hope for, but if you Propagate plenty you'll be stronger in no time at all!"]
A whispering part of me wants to thank him, but then the feeling hits.
"HOLY FU-" My eyes roll back in my head as my body rips itself apart and is remade as spiraling Pink and Purple energy drown my body in their colors, chitin peeling to reveal flesh, organs twisting back into a human form. Vision sharpening from whatever the fuck was going on with it earlier. Nerves alight with a searing pain that causes tears of blood to leak from my sockets and body to coil in on itself in a desperate attempt to grab at anything that may give me comfort. But all I find is a sea of bugs. Inhuman screams slowly return to those of a human as my sweat covered body has its heart pound in its chest.
["Ah, probably should have knocked you out beforehand like earlier."]
This fuckin- a litany of swears leave my mouth as my own body feels unfamiliar as I recoil from the pain. Looking down at what is certainly 'my hand' but is also slightly larger my expression contorts into confusion. My muscled physique drastically enhanced from its previous state. My suspicion growing I look down only to find something significantly larger than it was before. Ok, I can't really be mad about that one. Also I think I'm a couple inches taller? Kind of hard to tell.
["You must feel great to be able to speak with such vigor!"]
"I feel like shit, die in pesticide."
His genuine dejection only fuels my fire more.
["F-fine! After all I've done for you ungrateful little bug! I'm not gonna explain your powers to you, just get out here!"]
Air leaves my lungs as I suddenly find myself whisked away from Horny Jail and to somewhere else.
. . .
Sand, lots and lots and lots of sand. It's the first thing I notice as my exhaustion wracked body plops on the ground onto to get a face full of the tiny rocks. Flipping onto my back the blazing sun in the sky bears down on me and a frown worms onto my face.
. . .
Where the fuck am I? Bringing my back upwards and into a sitting position I turn my head throughout the wastes of red sand. Red sand? Whatever, a place like this is bound to have tourists. So I just gotta find someone and then I can get a flight back home. Letting out a shaky sigh I shake my head lightly and bring my body upwards, a small veil of sand falling from my very naked body as the wind softly gusts against me.
Ah, I should probably get that sorted out. Though considering i'm in the desert I should probably find some water first, dehydration would be a terrible way to go. A slight shiver floats through me as I bring a hand over my eyes to help block out the sun. The hand very clearly not mine, yet certainly attached me. My old body wasn't great, but I'm definitely not used to this one.
Gazing around the vast hills of sand with my miraculously clear vision despite the waving heat, I don't notice anything specific. Biting my cheek I kick some sand next to me. This is infuriating! I wouldn't say I loved my shitty apartment, but at least it had decent air conditioning!
"Fuck you Bug Bitch! Why'd you have to strand me in the middle of the damn desert!" Raising twin middle fingers to the sky, I truly and deeply hope that bastard hears me. "IS ANYONE OUT THERE?" I yell out to the desert, but as expected no one responds. Throwing my arms back down to my sides I remember the most important thing to do when lost. Stay put, and someone will come find you. But is that even an option? Does anyone even know I'm here? Whatever, I'm not just gonna let the sun fry me alive.
And thus begins my trek through the desert, in order to conserve energy I walk at a slow pace as my heart softly beats in my chest. The lack of sweat beading on my body surprising, though not unwelcome despite the heat. My naked body perhaps helping, though if anyone sees me I might just have to die from embarrassment. Bringing myself up a hill, the warm sand presses into the soles of my feet. I'm reminded of a time when I was younger, when I'd go to the beach with my family. Those days however are long gone, consumed by work, college, and any desperate attempt to do anything with myself in lieu of rotting away.
Stopping at the top of the hill I just stand there for a moment, taking in the sight of the serene desert. Only to be rudely interrupted in my gazing my a strangely shaped piece of nearly metallic wood jutting from the sand. Well, I guess I've gotta start somewhere. Taking a deep breath, and absorbing the atmosphere I descend from the hill. Slowly but surely making my way over the metal structure I peel myself around its back, coming face to face with a cockpit of some kind as my heart sinks in my chest.
Am I being fucked with? Or is this definitely a spaceship? Am I getting Truman Showed?
"HEY!" I scream to empty desert,"COULD WASTE LESS TIME WATCHING AND MORE TIME HELPING YOU SHITTY VOYEURS!"
". . ."
But no one responds to my plea disguised as an angry accusation. I really hope I'm still on Earth, if I'm even in my universe at all.
The sand covered glass of the cockpit is wiped away with my arm, revealing a skeleton in some kind of eastern robe. I stagger back, falling on my ass at the sight of a dead body, not at all used to the sight. Slowly bringing myself up again I stare in the empty eyes of what was once a person, their invisible gaze staring back at me, a small cube shaped metallic device clutched closely in their right hand. Even in death still holding onto such a thing as though it would save them. I don't know what that is, but this spaceship might be my only hope out of . . . wherever the fuck I am.
Turning towards the cockpit again I reach out to grab the glass, popping it off with surprising ease and I get a look inside. The bottom half of the skeleton is just missing, and the lower part of the ship seems to just turn into sand. Did they get sliced in half while flying? A subtle scent of rot hits my nose but it passes quickly, this person must have died a long long time ago. My shaky hand reaches forward and softly grasps the device, it somehow still firm despite the snapping sound of a bone hitting the ground. The arm that once held this metallic device crumpling and breaking off at the lightest touch. But I power through the disgust welling within my gut and pull the body from the cockpit.
I don't know who you are, but I'm totally gonna loot your ship so I'll at least give you a burial. Though aren't you not supposed to labor too hard under harsh conditions? Noticing my continuous lack of sweat I decide that I might as well do this anyways. Gotta keep up my morale in the face of . . . whatever the hell is going on.
Snapping off a piece of some kind of metal from the ship with relative ease, I get to work, the metal hot to the touch but not too the point of burning my skin. That basically confirms it, my body is in way better condition than it used to be.
Shoveling some sand to the side over the course of twenty minutes I make a shallow tomb, and lay the nameless pilot to rest. I stare at the half skeleton, and the shirt it wears but shake my head. I wouldn't be good to take that from them, though I might have done so if they had pants. Turning back to the small device and shattered spaceship I walk past the metallic cube, trying to keep the hope that it will save me for as long as possible without breaking that illusion. Wiping the newly dripped sweat from brow I peer inside.
Inside of the cockpit is a drawer I crack open, revealing a- my heart leaps and my eyes water slightly a blue jacket, a white undershirt, pale undergarments, and of course long dark-blue pants. I throw them all on without hesitation. While not a perfect fit, being slightly too small- a sting reminding me of my old body, I catch a glimpse of my face in the cockpit's glass despite the stars strong reflection.
A handsome face with a mole under my right eye peers back, soft yet sharp black hair with a pink streak running through it and gleaming purple eyes.
"Damn, I'm sexy as fuck." but I still cringe slightly at unfamiliar feeling of wearing something else's face. I have the blessing of 'Bug Bitch' what does that even make me? Half bug? Shaking away the thoughts I steady myself, at least I kept my mole, and I do look at least vaguely similar to my previous self.
Looking back through the ship again I do find something else, what seems to be a be a thick curved short sword with a vein of blue crystal running through it. Clenching my hand around it, it feels light in my hand, but not natural. If I knew this was going to happen I would have taken sword fighting lessons instead of the random martials arts classes I'd taken when I was much younger.
Riffling through the ship I find nothing else but broken parts I don't understand until I see something glitter slightly in the sand at the bottom of the vessel. A small bangle of jade with a (some eastern language I can't read) character escribed into it. Sighing softly and turning back to the recently buried mound of sand I slide it on, its size slightly too small for me allowing it to firmly set onto my wrist, as though clutching on for dear life.
"If I ever make it out of this desert, I'll try my best to get it home safe." I speak to the who knows how old corpse, as if there's anyone even alive who would remember such a piece of jewelry after who knows how long has passed since they died.
And then I turn the the metallic cube, a tiny shattered at the top and a single button nearly flattened into the side. It stares back at me as though gesturing the press it, and I am unable to resist as hope swells in my chest. I then press the button. Nothing happens. My expression morphs as I press it again, and again, but NOTHING HAPPENS.
Clenching my fists in rage the cube crushes slightly under my grip and the button pops out to the length of about half and inch and my eyes open wide. Carefully pressing the button back into the slot the light at the top glistens faintly without its bulb to amplify its strength. A small antennae shooting out from the top as I gulp down the saliva building in my throat.
I really hope this is calling for help or something because honestly I think I'm gonna lose it if I have to spend the rest of my life in this desert, if I even have a life at all.
. . .
It's been 4 days since then and no one has come. Maybe it's been more however, as my sense of time has slowly distorted as the Sun rises and falls over this wasteland. I've moved positions to the highest hill I could find before my strength failed me and now lay flat in the barren wastes of this desert devoid of anything. I couldn't find water, I couldn't find food, I couldn't even find any shelter from the star the cruelly gazes down at me from up above during the day, or the frigid nights that attempt to freeze my sweat to my skin. This planet has two moons from what I can tell, and is most certainly NOT Earth. Honestly, I'm surprised I am even alive at all, and capable of coherent thought. My body must be a lot tougher than it looks, perhaps even beyond human limits. I think I read once humans are supposed to die without water in a couple of days, and it's already past that point. Especially since I'm in a desert. My stomach screams at me and I clutch that same cube I've held so tightly ever since I've realized it may be my only hope.
Though it has done nothing yet. Perhaps the civilization that owns this technology doesn't even exist anymore, and I am doomed to die a cruel death as these sands rip away my will, strength, and sense of self as I slowly lose my mind.
Blood dribbles from my lip as I drink my own lifeblood, as I rot away in this red desert of death. I feel my body attempt to pulse with a faint something yet fails due to my lack of strength. My complete and utter weakness. Visions of Oasis, People, Beasts, and even my apartment have clouded my mind in this place. Yet not a single one real, not a single one tangible. Yet, my eyes wrought with pain show me one final illusion before the darkness takes me.
A majestic train flying high above the night sky upon a silvery Star Rail.
Didn't I used to play a gacha game by that name?
AN: Hi! I'm pretty new to writing stories(of course excluding a litany of essays and other papers for college) but decided I'd shoot my shot with this fic. It's been brewing in my head for a while now as I've seen other Honkai Star Rail fics on other sites as well, so I'm definitely taking inspiration from that. As to why I'm posting on here and not on those other sites its for the simple reason that I will inevitably include lewds due to the nature of this story. For anyone who is wondering I have some questions I might as well answer in advance, firstly this will most likely be harem? Not really sure at the moment and the au elements I have planned are just some light gender bending, I mostly just did it for dragon boy(now gal) but if the people are ravenous for more genderbend I might throw some extra in. Additionally, as a unique kind of Emanator of Propagation our as of unnamed protagonists powers are going to be . . . odd, I've got some fun stuff planned in that department. And for our smut fans, yes, I will be writing lewds at some point. Though I want to give our boy time to adapt to his new environment and actually form a genuine connection with someone around him before he goes to plowing them. I have no intention for the protagonist to force himself on anyone via mind control or otherwise at any point. But, you never know what might happen in a story, I plan to just let my inspiration guide me and I'll figure out the rest from there.
Please leave a nice comment as they help drive my writing forth! I do lots of school and work so updates will be . . . strange, to put it nicely. I'm writing this story PURELY FOR FUN, and have no intention to paywall this under any circumstances. In addition, while I appreciate corrections of typo's and other simple mistakes due to simply negligence, if you do intend to criticise my work, please hold your comments unless you truly feel as though it would help increase the quality of my writing or help me grow as a writer. After all, I'm just here for a casual fun time and hope someone else can enjoy this as well.
With all that said, thank you for reading and I hope to see you next time!
