bridgetphetasy
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Thank you, humans. All of you. Yes, you. Especially you.
🕑 Added 2019-12-31 23:25:23 +0000 UTCReflecting on another year past, another decade crashing on the shores of time, another ball dropping on another New Year...only two feelings continuously wash over me: gratitude and humility.
Because I shouldn’t be here. The truth is, I should have probably died before this decade even began but by sheer luck--I didn’t--and not only that, I made it to see the end of this decade. A lot of people much better than me didn’t. I know parents who have lost their children, friends who lost their battle against depression or addiction (or both), adults who randomly and tragically happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time or were taken far too early by cancer.
As the expression goes: There but for the Grace of God go I.
Or as Nas said: Life’s a bitch, but God-forbid that bitch divorce me.
Or as I say: I came. I tried. I died.
Whether it’s God or random chance or that the person controlling my avatar in The Simulation is really good at this video game—I’m grateful for my life on this random Tuesday in time.
Because even though there is war and strife and conflict and so many of the usual suspects who grace the pages of history, the halls of museums and archaeological digs—there is also art and music and Wi-Fi and antibiotics.
From a historical perspective, things have never been better for a great majority of us on this planet. Of course we can always get better, do better, lift even more people out of poverty and oppression—but from a birds eye view of our species over the millennia, life has never been so easy.
We can go on our devices and have pizza show up at our door. This might be no big deal to you—but to our ancestors—this is a miracle. So are planes. So is the fact that we can FaceTime with our family on the other side of the globe. So is modern medicine. And Netflix. Running hot water. Toilets. Electricity. All of this stuff, from the perspective of the entire human experience, is pretty fucking new.
The list of what I take for granted is long. And if I have any regrets from the past year, it’s that I’ve spent too much time focused on what I’m against and not enough time cultivating what I’m for; too much time basking in the negativity that permeates our culture and not enough time creating beauty and nurturing gratitude. I have spent a lot of time building bridges, but I’ve also spent a fair amount of time blowing them up for my own amusement. For this, I’m sorry.
You’ve all been my instructors. Each and every one of you. Some of my harshest critics have been my greatest teachers. Many of you supported my work in ways that elevated my platform, boosted my signal or shared my voice. An equal amount of you offered a harsh critique that was needed to make me a better writer, performer or human.
And to those of you who have put your money where your mouth is and supported me on Patreon or any of the other ways you’ve financially contributed—you have made it possible for me to create content I only dreamed of creating just a few years ago. I don’t always feel deserving of your support and never feel like I’ll properly be able to show my gratitude but please know your generosity is what drives me. (Well, that and a strong dose of “I’ll show you!” that gets smaller every year.)
Because the truth is--I’m humbled that I get to share this moment with you. Whoever you are reading this, wherever you are, I’m grateful to be on this rock in space at this particular moment in humanity. Whether you hate me because of who you think I am on Twitter or what you think my politics are or because I occasionally show my boobs online—I get it because I know how feisty and annoying I can be and also, no one hates me more than I could hate myself on any given day.
So know that even if we disagree, even if we battle, even if we drive each other crazy, I’ll treat you the same way that I’m learning to treat myself: I’ll love you. Because at the end of the day, the year, the decade—I believe the majority of us are all just mushy, scared little humans, doing the best we can with whatever crapshoot time we are allotted—trying to do right, often doing wrong, never knowing when our time is up.
If you’re reading this—you’re time isn’t up and holy moly—isn’t that a miracle?
Happy New Year my fellow passengers on this rock we know as Earth.
In humility and gratitude,
Bridget
Comments
Sam(well) Peabody
I am so amped for Phetasy 2020. I hope you and yer li'l pirate ship and crew achieve everything you want this year. Hope? Nay, demand. I demand you achieve it all. I expect nothing less than the best from and for you. Big love, angel and angels.
Bridget As so often you do you nailed it. So well stated. You speak through the voice box of authenticity and painful experience which is so powerful and enjoyable to read or better yet listen to (because you laugh often). Meeting you here was one of the best parts of 2019 as I felt I had reconnected to a long missing friend. You make me think, laugh, long and reflect with your voice. I agree that I too focus on what I don’t want or like too much (thanks Meghan) and am a bit lazy to talk about what I do want. While the term hate oneself is easy to understand I have began to change my choice of words to explain my self hmmm impatience. We are all work in progress... I have been very impatient at times okay often. Gratitude and humility are both so empowering. I sit here drinking tea from my new Christmas present to myself the Phetasy Mug. And will proudly begin wearing my clean t-shirt in the new year. Thanks for bringing me a small pleasure in those. Finally continue encouraging tribelessness! Have a great year and again thanks for a good 2019 and to Maggie too. With gratitude and humility (1) S (1) B. Phetasy, Patreon 12/31/2019
