Rial
patreon
Thank you for 2020!
🕑 Added 2021-01-04 12:45:42 +0000 UTCThe holidays flew by me. The days I stayed home without working were less than a week, and tomorrow I'm back to the salt mines. I was fostering an extra cat for a friend of mine that went on a trip to see their family. My mind was completely scattered these days.
Right now, I'm dealing with some discomfort in my throat and stomach, from a much invasive upper endoscopy that I had to go through this morning. I'm happy to report it's nothing serious, and that my stomach is perfectly healthy. It's simply my esophagus (the tube that connects the mouth to the stomach) that is a tad weak and needs special care. So I'll be fine, since I have been dealing with the discomfort all my life.
Lately, I've been thinking heavily about my "performance" on delivering the content I advertised for in my Patreon, and it's difficult for me to feel that I deserve any kind of support for simply not delivering enough. Since I got demoted at work in August, my mental state deteriorated gradually, along with my savings, and I have been having problems keeping up with my drawings. For many months I was producing a lot of sketches and publishing them by the end of the month in Patreon Packs, but the last three months have been really bare. My current pace of one piece per week went down to a piece every two weeks, and then to one piece a month. It worries me that my job will keep sucking my vital energy more and more, making my art journey seem an impossible task to take on.
During my days off, I've been practicing environment drawing. It looks simple and easy when I watch the lessons, but when it's time for me to pick up my stylus, oh dear! It takes time and practice to get to a comfortable place. I am the type of person that really pushes themselves to be the best they can be, and when something is off, I tend to take it heavily on myself. I'm trying to be kind to myself and remember that everyone starts from somewhere.
I'm sure that I'm not alone in these struggles. I know that many, no, all of us, have to deal with many kinds of discomfort over our lives, and that pushing out of one's shell and going on adventures is scary, but necessary. I am stronger than ever before, and I know what to do. I know my limits and I'm not going to let myself burnout. I will always remember what I gained: Friends, that I can laugh, and share a good time by being around.
I hope that in my obstacles, in my art, or in my words, you find strength, comfort, and happiness, even if just for a little moment, and that'll be worth for me.
Thank you for supporting my work and believing in me,
Thank you for 2020!
Rial 💜
Comments
Rial
Indeed it's not ideal, and I can't possibly work less hours because I'm already at the minimum to survive. Back when I began Patreon I had more plans for it, and I had higher tiers, but it didn't work out, so I unpublished everything and pushed everything to the $1 tier, which at this point certainly feels like a tip jar. Perhaps I should change my wording to reflect that better, as I can't promise to fill dozens of sketch files to publish. You're welcome, noct. Thanks for your feedback and kindness.
Nocturn3
Rial, i really enjoy seeing your art. Its a shame to hear that you don't have the time or energy to draw and practice. That being said, don't feel like you're letting us down. I assumed this was a tip jar for folks that want to support you. And as supporters, we know that life can get in the way. I hope maybe this year will be better for you in more ways that just art. And thank you for all you've done for me and others this year. I'm pleased to considered your friend!
