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A Dragon's Curse Upon This Illogical World! Chapter 4
🕑 Added 2024-05-28 22:08:03 +0000 UTCEdited by: vicarameIia, priapus, Marethyu
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Struggling to open my eyelids, I blink a few times as the sunlight hits my face from the window, which eventually prompts me to quickly get off the bed, panicking as I grab my folded suit off the dresser. Oh no, not again. This is the second time, and I have no excuse.
"Damn it!" I hiss. "I'm late for work! Reina's going to kill—"
I pause as my teleportation magic doesn't respond to me, then try it a few times until I recognize the room I'm in, my brain finally catching up with my current situation. Ah, right. Different world. Testing a new system Mother made. I completely forgot about that.
I have an excuse for not making it to the factory. No one can get mad at me for this unless they want to challenge my mother's authority. Which, knowing Reina, she probably would. That girl is never afraid of anything.
Wait, what time is it? I feel like I've overslept— Oh no, please don't tell me I spent too long sleeping.
I quickly look out the window, seeing nothing different about the city's layout. Neither do I see anything that doesn't fit the fantasy world aesthetic. Still, these worlds have a habit of taking way too long to develop any worthwhile technology, so maybe I did sleep for a century. I can't be too sure. I'll have to investigate further, but so far, things are looking up.
I quickly wear the suit, going down the stairs to see the same tavern owner behind the counter cleaning a mug. I only feel relief as she waves and smiles at me, not showing me any strange reaction.
"Good morning. You're up early." She says. "Would you like something to eat?"
Oh good. Good. So everything is regulated for me. I don't have to worry about oversleeping for over a few hundred years here. That was a risk I took yesterday, but to be fair, I wouldn't be able to stay up for too long anyway. I think.
And logically speaking, the owner would've kicked me out had I overslept that much. I only paid for a few nights, not several years. I suppose there was nothing to worry about in the first place.
…Well, now I feel stupid.
"Breakfast sounds nice," I respond after scanning the tables and taking a seat in front of the counter. Nobody's here. "What time is it, by the way?"
"An hour after sunrise." She answers, handing me the menu.
It is early. That's good. Great, even. I can use some time to take care of a few solo quests before officially joining Kazuma's party. I'll have leveled up enough to go on higher-paying quests, so splitting the rewards won't be as bad.
Between five people, though… Had we done that Rookie Killer quest together, it would've knocked my pay down from 50k to a measly 10k, which isn't even enough to cover my food budget.
This might be tougher than I thought it would be. It's okay, though. Money won't really be challenging to come by once I set up a few machines and factories to create products I can sell, so the priority right now will be obtaining some land for myself.
…Which is going to need money, I imagine—a lot of it.
Anyway, this menu is definitely lackluster in the breakfast department. Most of it is for lunch and dinner. All they have is buttered bread, eggs and bacon, grilled cheese… and that's it. This is very disappointing. Don't they know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day? Where's the variety?
"...Do you not have any pancakes?" I ask, wanting to be sure. Maybe it's a secret menu item?
"Pan-what now?" She blinks. "You want a cake? I'm afraid we don't have any, miss. Try the bakery next door."
No, it is not. This world sucks. How could they not have one of the staples of a hearty, nourishing breakfast? Are they seriously that behind? Disgusting. Whoever created this universe should be ashamed. How do you get so far and evolve so much without ever creating pancakes?
And my appetite is gone. Fantastic.
These people and their gods are tasteless and joyless. They've never experienced true happiness and it shows.
"Never mind," I say, getting off the stool.
"O-okay…?" The lady blinks, not even trying to stop me as I walk out the door.
I'm just going to complete a few quests and, as much as it pains my heart, skip breakfast. Half-assing the first meal of the day? Me? No, I'd rather starve to death. So until I get my own kitchen and cook my own food, I'll just have to get extra for my lunch or dinner. At least they get those two right.
With a newfound urgency to get my own place of residence as fast as possible, I rush to the guild, ignoring everyone there, analyzing the quests on the board, and snatching three that are as difficult as the Rookie Killer with the collective payment of 115,000 Eris.
As I put the posters on the counter in front of Luna, she looks at me with concern after reading them.
"Slay the One-Punch Bear in the Eastern Forest, Defeat the Minatour spotted inside the grotto behind the waterfall in the same forest, and Slay three Demons seen up in the Southern Mountain of Axel…" she lists them. "A-are you sure? I understand you're capable, but this is too much for one person."
"I'm sure."
"Are you possibly planning to complete all of them at once?"
"Yes." I nod. "Is that a problem?"
The lady behind the counter hesitates.
"Um, I don't want to sound rude, but I'm afraid I can't let you do this alone." She says. "It's in our policy to prohibit adventurers from trying out quests that are too dangerous for them."
"What?" I blink. "What policy? I've never heard of anything like that."
"It's in our manual." She answers, giving me a book from under the counter. "Due to the growing presence of the Demon King and his army, we can't let adventurers with high potential bite off more than they can chew."
"Oh wow, so yesterday, you let me go on this quest that's apparently had you convinced that I'd die." I frown and point out the inconsistency, quickly getting annoyed. I don't even bother reading the stupid guidebook. "But now, this is too dangerous? Does that make sense to you? Do you expect me to believe that?"
"I-I'm sorry, but it's part of the rules." Luna reiterates, which only infuriates me further. "If you can find an appropriate party, I won't stop you."
This has got to be a joke. What's it matter to them if I die or not? I'm the one doing this quest. Whether I fail or not should not affect their organization meaningfully. The only one to blame would be me for 'biting off more than I can chew'.
This is unbelievably stupid and incredibly irritating.
No, no. This is not worth getting mad over. As silly and inconsistent as it is, it's still part of their rules. I have no right to get angry about this. After all, had I read their manual, I would've expected this. It's fine. I can settle for something else, I guess.
If they want proof of my capabilities, I'll take enough less dangerous quests until the pay equals these three. Not only will they start trusting me with harder quests, but I'll also level up quite a bit that I'd barely even struggle against these supposedly high-level monsters.
Yes. It's that simple. There's no need to get mad as long as I can rationalize everything. It's easy to find other solutions.
As I'm about to concede, I hear another voice behind me.
"That's fine, Luna." Kazuma steps up, trying and failing to look cool. "She has a party right here."
…Why are they already here? So early, as well? I know I have to see them eventually, but couldn't they wake up a little later? Now, I have to split the rewards with them, and even something as high as 120,000 Eris split five ways would be less than only one of these quests.
This is so unfair. At this rate, I'll never be able to buy my own land for a house. Maybe I can find some unclaimed land in the wilds? I'm sure this city's government doesn't own everything in the region, do they? I hope not.
No, it's fine. Stop being so negative, Carmine. This isn't like you at all. Look on the bright side: not only do I get paid for this, but it's an opportunity to explore the world more and level up. That's half of the reason I bother with high-level quests in the first place.
Yes, everything will be okay.
I still reflexively wince in disgust as I see Kazuma, which he notices as he falters. He doesn't say anything, however, and quickly recomposes himself. Unfortunately, every time I look at his face, I'm reminded of his utterly shameful display yesterday. I am unable to see him as a person worthy of my respect.
But I was raised to be polite anyway.
"I guess they'll do, yes." I look back at Luna. "So then…?"
"Hmm, all of them — except Mr. Kazuma — have advanced classes…" She ponders, then nods. "Yes, you five are qualified for these three quests."
Alright, that's terrific news. See? Everything works out eventually. Sure, I'll have to split the money with five other people, but we'll be paid extra if we can bring the carcasses back with us. And if a glorified tiger like that was worth that much in a damaged state, I'm sure larger beasts like a bear and a minotaur will fetch quite a lot more.
Now I'm actually looking forward to this.
"Great." I smile, then turn toward the other party members. "Let's go. If we move now, we'll be able to finish two of these quests before nightfall."
"Way ahead of you," Kazuma says, leading us outside. "So where are we going?"
"Eastern Forest. It's about fifteen kilometers away. So, about a three-hour walk." I answer, matching his walking speed and taking out the map I had in my jacket. "From there, once we're done with the bear, we'll be able to investigate the grotto behind the waterfall and take care of the minotaur. Even assuming we're done later than expected, we'll still have ample time to rest afterward, and in the morning, we head towards the Southern Mountains to defeat the demons."
"A-ah…" He clears his throat. "Seems you already have everything figured out. Though, how are we supposed to take their corpses back? Do we even have enough money to rent a carriage or something?"
"Oh, that's easy," I answer. " I'll use magic."
"Right…"
By the time we finish off these two beasts, and I end up gaining EXP from it regardless of who gets the final hit, I should be strong enough to cast a wind spell to carry them with us. If, at minimum, these other monsters are as strong as the Rookie Killer…
…Then I'll be level eighteen. Double my current level, but I expect more, around twenty-three. Twenty-five at most.
Yes, things are looking up. It doesn't matter how much money I get from a quest or if I have to share it with other people. I may be a dragon, but I've never been that shallow. Wealth is easy to obtain anyway— what matters to me as an engineer and a mage is knowledge.
And the knowledge I most desire right now is what makes this system tick.
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– Kazuma –
"Hmm, a one-punch bear, is it?" Megumin smirked. "A worthy adversary to use my great explosion on."
"We should try other tactics first," Carmine suggested patiently. "I don't know what kind of beast it is. The bestiary only says that it's a 'very strong bear that can kill you in one hit'—"
Whoever wrote that bestiary was a smartass.
"—but I'm sure a few well-placed, less destructive spells would do the trick. We don't need to go overboard." She adds. "Plus, we're not in an open area. Unless you want to be responsible for burning this entire forest down?"
The midget clicks her tongue but doesn't argue with that. Since being scolded the first time around, Megumin looked like she really disliked Carmine. Kazuma didn't know if she'd immediately developed an inferiority complex after seeing someone infinitely more competent than her, but he was hoping this would maybe convince her to stop casting a magical atomic bomb at level 1 monsters.
A part of him thought he was being delusionally hopeful.
The journey towards this Eastern Forest wasn't anything special. Carmine just kept asking questions about their kit and what they could bring to the table, and Kazuma may have omitted some information about the girls' quirks.
Or rather, didn't elaborate on them since his embarrassing episode yesterday. Why? Because, from the looks of it, she probably didn't really believe him or thought he was exaggerating, which, to be fair to her, is very understandable. Those three girls are a special brand of brain-dead that might as well be characters from a gag manga.
Honestly, replaying that scene in his head while trying to view it from her perspective, he sounded like a complete lunatic, which worked in his favor. After all, he didn't want to push her away before they even had a chance to work together.
He was very lucky she didn't ask him to elaborate on what he said back then. So, instead, they discussed their strengths and what everyone can do.
For the most part, she was a little impressed after taking a look at their adventurer cards, for as useless as these fuck-ups were, they still had high stats. By all means, they should've been a high-tier party that could easily mow down most monsters in this region.
Oh, if only.
He just really hoped that they wouldn't end up scaring her off so soon. All they needed to do was spend enough time with her so she at least liked them enough not to fuck off at the earliest possible moment. She was a prime ticket to fame and wealth.
No, emotional manipulation was not beneath him.
Because now it was evident after discussing some strategies that this girl's high intelligence stat, unlike with the midget here, was not just for show. Carmine was actually brilliant. And from what he could tell, she was experienced as well.
Just what kind of life had she led before this? There was no way she was from Earth, right? Unless her red eyes were actually contacts, and she was hiding a chuuni side or something. But there's no way a girl like her had any dumb fucking quirks. He refused to believe it.
The only reason he had the courage to go on quests as dangerous as these was because she was with them. If she could effortlessly take down a Rookie Killer as a rookie adventurer, then she could sure as fuck beat down a bear and a minotaur, even if those were considered stronger overall.
"It could take us a while to track down this monster." Darkness said as they explored the forest. "And I'm afraid to admit, but I barely have any experience myself."
"That's fine. I've hunted similar beasts before." Carmine waved it off, not as concerned as any of them. "And a bear that large would be easy to find either way. The forest isn't exactly big."
"The problem is killing it without damaging the fur," Kazuma added. "You say only aim at the head, but that's kinda hard to do when a bear is charging at you with full force."
"We're not going to take it head-on." She responded. "That's a lot riskier. We'll catch it off guard and end it as quickly as possible. Before it has a chance to retaliate."
Which is a lot easier said than done. These things aren't regular bears. They're at least ten times stronger than a grizzly.
"And if we're unsuccessful?" Kazuma had to ask.
"Then Darkness and I will stay in front to draw its attention." She answered. "Aqua, be ready in case any of us get injured, and Kazuma, you'll find a high place to use your bow from afar. Speaking of, can I have a look at it?"
"Uh, the bow?" He blinked. "Sure. Here. What do you need it for?"
Once she took it, the bow suddenly started shining red as if imbued with magic. After the glow died down, he noticed strange white markings all over the wooden bow and a mini whirlwind surrounding the string.
"A temporary upgrade." She answered, handing it back. "You won't find as much resistance in pulling the string, and all arrows shot with this bow are doubled in velocity."
"Woah." Kazuma was amazed. "You can enchant things?!"
He knew it. This girl was something else. Carmine was quite literally that one overpowered protagonist in every Isekai light novel he had ever read. Suddenly, she was able to enchant things. Since when? How could she do any of this even though she'd just got here?
"I've never seen such technique before." Darkness added, equally as surprised.
"Pfft, I've seen better," Megumin grumbled.
"Well, no. Real enchanting is a lot more powerful than this." She replied. "But it should be more than enough to help. Keep in mind that it'll only last for two hours, though."
"Can you enchant my staff too?" Aqua asked eagerly.
"No, unfortunately. Your staff, as well as Megumin's, are magical already, and I'm not at a level where I can improve magical items." She shook her head, putting a hand on Darkness' shoulder as the glow enveloped the blond's armor and sword. "Here. Your breastplate will now ignore a small percentage of the damage done to you. Plus, your sword is twice as sharp."
One of these enchants was absolutely wasted, but it wasn't his place to say anything. He would rather let her see for herself.
"A-ah… I see." Darkness did not look very grateful. "...Thanks."
Seemingly noticing her dissatisfaction, Carmine blinked and frowned in confusion but said nothing to avoid unnecessary confrontation. Probably. Kazuma could tell at first glance that this girl was as much a loner as he was. Only vastly more successful.
"Hey, what about me?" Megumin asked.
"Huh?" Carmine looked at her. "Like I said, I can't infuse your staff."
"Not that. I'm asking what I should be doing?" She clarified. "You've given everyone a role but me."
"Oh…" She paused for a moment, then smiled. "I guess you'll be our last resort. If things end up getting too dangerous, you'll use your explosion to bail us out. You'll be our lifeline in case we mess up. Sounds good?"
It was like she was talking to a small child who wanted to be involved in whatever the grown-ups were doing but couldn't reject her out of concern that it might cause her to cry. The midget, as impulsive as she was, wasn't dumb and immediately caught on, snarling at Carmine.
"How dare you treat me, the great archwizard Megumin, like this?! Do you have a death wish?!"
Instead of verbally responding, Carmine put a hand over the self-proclaimed archwizard's mouth and turned her head to the side with a focused frown. Megumin whined and tried to bite her hand before she spoke.
"Quiet." She whispered. "I hear it nearby."
All of them froze, and the reality of this situation finally caught up with Kazuma as he realized what kind of monster they were dealing with here. A bear that big could turn you to paste with a single swipe of its paw. This wasn't a Rookie Killer— this was much worse.
A big part of him really wanted to run away or abort this mission, but that would mean abandoning his precious ticket to a good life. It was either risk dying here and possibly living an easy, laidback life or running back to a life full of suffering.
Carmine glanced at him, then nodded towards a tree. He got the message and climbed one as she silently gestured for the rest to take positions. Megumin and Aqua were in the back, while she and Darkness were in front.
She led the group, quietly stalking the giant bear that was finally in view from a distance. It was dragging a deer with it, and somehow, it didn't notice them at all, casually walking into some ruins near a waterfall where their next target was supposed to be.
The group stopped as they saw the 300 centimeters minotaur showing up from behind said waterfall, a massive club strapped on its back. To his shock, the bull-like beast started petting the bear like it was its friend.
You have to be fucking kidding me. Kazuma was going to lose it. We didn't even fuck up yet! Why the hell is this happening?!
Kazuma glanced at Carmine, who didn't seem to be as bothered by this situation as he was. She raised her arm, signaling him to draw his bow, and hesitantly, he did as he was ordered. Well, if she was this confident, then who was he to argue?
He effortlessly pulled the string, surprised at how easy it was compared to what he was used to. She wasn't kidding when she said it was easier…
Not knowing who to aim at exactly, Kazuma took the safe option and targeted the bear's head, and as soon as Carmine brought her arm down, he let go of the string. The arrow soared and hit the massive beast in the head, piercing the skin but not quite the skull as it roared in pain.
Well, a cheap bow like his wasn't going to do much damage, no matter how much you enchanted it.
Seeing that their strategy barely did anything other than a distraction, Carmine rushed towards the monsters with Darkness in tow, who may or may not have had a deep blush on her face as she specifically targeted the minotaur.
"Ah, to face a minotaur like that…" Darkness gulped. "They're tougher and bigger than trolls! Imagining the vile, disgusting things one of them might do…"
"W-what?" Carmine questioned in shock. "What are you— No, focus! I'll distract the bear; you take care of its master!"
Terrible mistake.
"What are you doing?!" Kazuma yelled at the blue-haired idiot. "Buff them!"
"Hey, stop yelling at me!" She argued, casting her spells. "I was gonna do that anyway, jerk!"
Kazuma didn't know what kind of buffs she gave him, but at least she did her job as the two girls glowed brightly for a moment.
As the minotaur saw the girls approaching, he grabbed his massive club and swung it at Darkness, who ran headfirst into it. However, Carmine waved her hand in response and cast a wind spell, redirecting the swing just enough for it to miss the masochist crusader, saving her life.
"O-oi, I had it covered!" Darkness said with a pant. "I can defeat this powerful, depraved beast on my own!"
The bear attacked the red-eyed girl, lunging at her and swiping its paw, which she effortlessly blocked by conjuring a pillar of stone from the ground, striking the beast in the jaw and pushing it backward.
Carmine froze the ground beneath the beast, turning it into ice. The One-Punch Bear slipped and fell on its back, giving their current leader a big enough opportunity to kill it.
Only to be interrupted by whatever was going on with Darkness.
"Aha~ I can see it in your eyes, you disgusting, vulgar beast~" She claimed with a bright red face. "The lust and urge to violate me in every way imaginable~"
There it is.
"Huh?" Carmine paused, looking at her party member. "W-what are you saying? Darkness?"
"B-but even if you treat me like a toy and mark my body to be yours, try as you might, you'll never own my heart!" She stated. "I'll never give in to such abuse—"
"What the hell are you doing—" Carmine said in horror. "Look out!"
She rushed towards Darkness, who was panting in anticipation as the minotaur wound up another attack. Once the club was swung, Carmine slammed her shoulder into Darkness's and pushed her away, taking the hit for her.
Kazuma's heart fell into his stomach as she was sent flying into a tree before falling limp on the ground. He almost couldn't believe his eyes— this couldn't be happening, right? A low-level adventurer like that, even as strong as her, couldn't have tanked it regardless of how many buffs she had active.
"Oh, no." Darkness's face went pale. "Oh, by the goddess, Carmine!"
Carmine didn't move.
Oh god, what had they done? All because of this blond bitch's masochism that they'd ended up with a casualty. And not any normal adventurer, but someone who seriously had a lot of potential to be very successful. His ticket to success…
…No, how could he think like that? He just saw an innocent girl get murdered in front of him. How dare he even think so selfishly? Kazuma was never the most moral guy around, but even this was below him.
All because he never bothered to tell her about Darkness's quirk. Had she known, perhaps she would've devised a better plan to accommodate the masochistic pig in the party. Maybe if he wasn't so selfish, she would still be alive.
"A-Aqua!"
"I-I'm on it!" The useless goddess responded and ran towards them, sounding panicked.
As the three girls were slowly approached by the minotaur and its friend, Kazuma did his best as he kept shooting them with arrows. Without the enchantment on his bow, he knew the arrows would be bouning off their thick hide or fur.
Without her, they would've never stood a chance. And yet, they were responsible for her death.
Even as the two monsters instead decided to target him, Kazuma, filled with remorse for what he had inadvertently done, stood in place and continued shooting. He wouldn't let any harm come to the rest of his party. Hed protect the rest even if it meant dying—
"What the hell were you thinking?!"
Everyone froze, even the monsters, then slowly turned to look at Carmine. She was far from unharmed, as blood seeped from her head and her right shoulder was dislocated, but she was clearly still alive. And angry.
Very angry.
"Saying all these things and standing there doing nothing else— Were you looking forward to getting hit?! Are you crazy?!" She screamed.
Her shouting attracted the two monsters, who began approaching the girls again. Carmine did not seem to care about that one bit, content with tearing the crusader a new one.
"U-um—" Darkness was speechless. "I-I—"
"Are you sick? Do you have brain damage?!" Carmine continued insulting her. "Were you hit in the head as a child?!"
"N-no…"
"Then what the hell was that you moron?! I don't care what kind of fucked up fantasies you have." She scolded scathingly. "Do NOT bring that energy to life-or-death missions, you stupid— ARE YOU GETTING OFF TO THIS?!"
Indeed. It was as expected from Darkness at this rate, who was on the verge of collapsing to the ground from her trembling knees. Even with the current threat present, Kazuma couldn't help but look at this scene in exhaustion.
Why had he expected any better?
"Hah~ I didn't think someone as seasoned and dignified as Ms. Carmine would be so abusive."
"What is the matter with you?!"
It was then that they felt the enormous amount of magic gathering in a single place, forming a cyclone in the distance. Kazuma froze as he didn't see the midget anywhere, feeling an immense urge to feed that little shit to the next monster they encountered.
That bitch had probably taken off the moment they were distracted so that she could use her explosion for the day. Was she counting on them to get away? Because it wasn't like she was hiding this. They could see the magic in the air going to her staff.
"Oh my god," Carmine said in realization and shock, getting up and casually popping the dislocated shoulder back into its place. "You people are actually insane."
Woah, hardcore. He thought, genuinely impressed. No, wait. Focus.
"Run!" He screamed at the girls, getting away as far as possible.
Before he left, however, he saw Carmine casting a spell at the monsters. He didn't know what it was, nor did he care, as he ran as fast as his legs could before suddenly feeling the wind carrying him to a safe zone, which was where Megumin was.
"EX–"
The rest of the girls tumbled and fell near the midget as she finished casting her spell.
"–PLOOOSION!"
The loud, thundering boom of the spell had them cover their ears as the powerful shockwave tore down some of the smaller trees and branches nearby. Magical energy was scattered in the wind, and the mushroom cloud was probably visible all the way from Axel. The explosion was powerful enough to rip apart that section of the forest entirely, leaving the ground scorched and burning. Luckily, nothing caught fire, so no wildfire spread to worry about.
Her reserves exhausted, Megumin fell to the ground with a self-satisfied giggle, which reminded Kazuma that he needed to reprimand her for doing something completely brain-dead.
"What the fuck was that you dumbass?!" He shouted. "You tryna get us all killed?!"
"Are any of you dead?"
"That's not the point!" He deflected. "You were told you're a last resort!"
"And I played my part." She answered smugly. "Carmine got hurt, and you were getting ganged up on by a minotaur and a One-Punch Bear."
…Well, technically, they hadn't even had a snowball's chance in hell of making it out of there alive with their strongest down because Ms. Dumbfuck Crusader decided to be herself again.
Shit, the midget actually had a point.
Though, admittedly, had Carmine ignored Darkness and let her get hit, then the blond would've probably survived the hit. As masochistic as she was, she was still unreasonably durable.
Kazuma looked at the girl in a suit, who was rubbing her forehead tiredly. He didn't know why she wasn't as mad as he expected her to be when she was just going off on Darkness, but it was probably for the best.
"Thanks for the boost." He told Carmine, rubbing his neck.
"Mhm…"
He hesitated at her response, then worked up enough courage to ask.
"Are you okay?"
She looked at him, not as damaged as he thought. The bleeding in her head seemed to have stopped. Maybe Aqua had managed to heal her before
"...For the most part," She answered. "I… I thought you were exaggerating. That everything you said yesterday was nonsense you spouted just to get me to join…"
He only gave her a tired smile. This wasn't even the start of it because this had ended up going better than he expected. A worst-case scenario with these three was worse.
So much worse.
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– Carmine –
I've made a terrible mistake.
Now, I've dealt with incompetence many, many times before. So much so that I've built up a tolerance and learned not to let it bother me; after all, considering my position, I can always fire or demote whoever is terrible at their job so someone better can take their place. Or, if I can't do that, I ignore it.
Hell, I've worked with Crimson for most of my life, and Crimson is number 1 at being a total nuisance. But even he knows when to drop that silly and annoying act and do his work expertly. He can be bribed to do his job. It's not something new to me.
I look at the sleeping form of the girls around the campfire, feeling genuine dread for the first time in who knows how long.
But these people… They're different. It's not they're bad at their job— no, that'd be infinitely better. They somehow make everything way tougher than it has any right to be. A minotaur and a bear, two simple beasts that I could literally beat with a wooden stick, 'needed' a mini magic nuke to defeat.
Had I not weakened that swing with my wind magic, a dislocated shoulder would've been the least of my worries.
How do you even get to this point? How bad at your job do you have to be for this to happen? And it's not like they are intentionally being awful. They just… are. Even though it's so comically terrible that it feels like they're doing it on purpose.
It would explain why I had a heated reaction like that. It reminds me of a certain someone.
Crimson would cry tears of joy if he ever saw this.
How are they even still alive? Do they go after low-level quests because they know they're going to screw it up somehow? That's the impression I got from Kazuma now that I've seen what he has to deal with.
I… genuinely feel bad for him. He mentioned Darkness being a masochist, but I chalked it off as nothing serious, because I know a lot of people who use that term to describe people who enjoy fighting. I thought he meant she was a typical adrenaline junkie or something like that. I mean, a crusader who enjoys battle? Doesn't that just make sense?
That's why I let her take on the stronger monster. I wanted to give her what she wanted because I know how insufferable those types of people can be if they're not satisfied with the fight. But no, she's an actual masochist.
Obviously, I'm not going to shame people for their preferences. Who cares if she's a masochist or a sadist? Her sex life doesn't concern me.
That is until she brought those desires into battle. That's when it starts to concern me and everyone else in her party. She'd deliberately get hit to satisfy them, even at the cost of letting her friends and teammates get hurt. Who does that?! You have brothels! Take care of your needs there, damn it!
A regular person with such fantasies would try it with a person they can trust behind closed doors. Darkness, on the other hand, wants to be violated. Not in a safe space or with a trusted partner. But she actually wants to be raped. Why? What the hell is wrong with her? And I'm not saying that lightly— I know she was aroused.
Having enhanced senses is a curse sometimes.
"I should stop thinking about this…" I quietly mutter to myself.
…On the bright side, even though there's no corpse to take with us to sell, I did manage to kill both monsters before the explosion spell hit. At the beginning of the battle, I didn't want to use too much of my magic since I wanted the goods to be in excellent shape.
Once I saw Megumin's spell being cast, I knew it was a lost cause, so I used a single powerful spell to take them out. So we might've lost the extra money, but I was NOT going to let that child steal my kill.
So, those monsters, as expected, put me at level 23, which finally made the system respond differently.
Choose a perk
[Reinforcement Magic]
Regain the ability to use your mana to bolster your physical power to intense proportions.
[Energy Magic]
Regain the ability to use your mana in its purest form.
This feels like an easy option. Whatever I do with energy, I can do with my elemental magic anyway, so it's not particularly useful in this regard. Shaping draconic magic into whatever you want it to be is what makes it powerful. In its purest form, it's incredibly powerful, but it's also very straightforward and not very versatile.
Reinforcement magic, though… This is practically what I hoped I'd get when I chose the magic perk tree. I knew magic like this would be achievable, so why bother with the physical perk?
Anyway, even though I'm at level twenty-three, I'm going to assume that I'll get a new perk every twenty levels. Still, this is very exciting and motivating. Two monsters at that tier were worth more than ten levels? Then, just how strong will I be if I defeat, say, a lich? Or a Vampire? A demon lord general?
Oh, I love RPGs so much. These two days might've not been the best, but I know that once I settle here, I'll start having so much fun.
In fact…
I glance at the group before I carry myself using my wind magic, taking off to the skies for a test, already at a level where flight is barely taxing. I could probably fly over the whole region without getting tired.
I stretch my limbs and take a deep breath, letting myself float down slowly as I enjoy the cool air on my skin while staring at the full moon. Yes. Staying positive is the way to go, Carmine. Who cares if the adventurers here are incompetent?
At the end of the day, I'll only lend them a hand for a few quests, and that's it. It's not like I have to work with them the entire time I'm here, right?
Yup. Everything's going to be okay.
I'm sure of it.
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– Bonus Scene – "Mother" –
I stare at the watch I recently created, adorned with the usual red and black color scheme that I'm never letting go of. I don't care what anyone says. Red and black go perfectly together. Who cares if it looks evil or edgy?
I should probably hand it to the twins soon. Maybe after I've given them some time to adjust. I don't think they need it, but letting them interact with each other every once in a while might help this project of mine. I call it a 'project', but it's really more of an excuse to help them stop being morons.
How did they even end up on the opposite sides of the spectrum? I've raised them the exact same way, in the exact same environment.
Kind of. Carmine had it a lot worse as a child.
A loud bang interrupts my train of thought, making me turn to see Reina, of all people, approaching me with a scowl. What the hell? How did she get here? Only Crimson and Carmine know how to get into this reality.
"Mother!" She calls me. "What's the meaning of this?!"
"What?" I blink. "How did you—"
"Where's Carmine?" She interrupts me. "She's supposed to be at the factory today!"
"I need her for something."
"And you didn't bother informing anyone about this before kidnapping her?" Reina's scowl deepens. "Do you know how much we need her in there? She took care of half the operations. We can't work anywhere near as efficiently without her."
"So?" I raise a brow. "Find someone to fill in for her. It's not that complicated."
"Oh yes, I'm sure we can find someone to replace CARMINE of all people." She says sarcastically. "You know, the best engineer in the entire clan. Second only to you."
Good point.
"Plus, filling in for her is one thing." She adds. "There's also the paperwork for her suddenly disappearing and the paperwork of finding someone to take her place. You know how anal management can get about this."
"And what do you expect me to do about it?" I ask calmly. "Tell them to fuck off? I'm retired. You deal with it."
"I expect you to take responsibility after you inadvertently crippled most of our operations." My daughter says behind gritted teeth. "Like the adult that you are."
…You know, I'm always impressed by how gutsy she is, but she's still a pain in the ass.
It's extra annoying when she has a right to be mad.
"Fine." I concede. "I'll fill in for her."
Reina's scowl drops.
"What? You?"
"Yes? Isn't that what you want me to do?"
"Oh…" She blinks. "I thought you'd call Carmine back. That's what I hoped for, at least."
"She's busy, and I have nothing else to do."
Plus, I haven't visited the factory in a while. Might as well see what's going on there.
"Oh, that's fantastic. Way better than I expected." Her attitude does a complete 180. "I haven't seen your work in a while!"
"Just one more thing." I look at her suspiciously. "How did you find your way here?"
Reina pauses.
"You want the long story or…?"
"One sentence."
"Crimson showed me how to find it."
I'm going to strangle him.
Comments
Chichi son
Kazuma didn't know what kind of buffs she gave him, but at least she did her job as the two girls glowed brightly for a moment. gave them?
ArgoDevilian
Oh Carmine, sweet little Carmine Fucking run while you still can
