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Ch. 185 - Odin's Gambit
🕑 Added 2022-04-08 12:13:16 +0000 UTCI exited the portal in front of the Asgardian Royal palace and found the entire army surrounding the palace. Even what looked like some major firepower in the form of alien mercenaries.
Aw! He brought the whole gang together.
And in the sky, high above, I could spot three distinct sets of ships. I could see from here. There was one Asgardian navy, another fleet from...Xandar? I haven't done anything to them. They should have no reason to come after me.
Were they here because of some mutual defense treaty or just fear and greed?
And then the third was one I hadn't seen before.
I didn't recognise any of the ships in that one.
At least until I saw their mothership.
Oh yeah. Now I know who's here.
It was someone I did not expect at all.
This is going to be fun!
Three whole space navies?
Just to deal with little old me?
How cute!
I casually walked up to the nearest Asgardian soldier patroling the bridge leading into the palace and tapped him on the shoulder.
"What? Civilians aren't allowed here. You need to go away!" The soldier shooed.
"Why, what's happening here?" I asked innocently.
"Didn't you hear the announcement? A vile monster is about to attack Asgard. All civilians are ordered to stay indoors for their own safety."
"I see." I nodded in understanding.
This is amusing.
"And say, what is the name of this monster?" I asked.
"The monster? Why?" He frowned, annoyed.
"I just want to know what our brave, strong soldiers are fighting. What evil could ever threaten such gods as you!?" I asked, buttering him up.
He puffed up his chest at the praise and started laughing awkwardly, embarrassed but clearly happy.
"Since you asked nicely, let me tell you. This is a monster from beyond the realms itself. Legend says, it eats worlds whole!"
There are legends about me?
I resisted the urge to chuckle.
"And what is this fearsome mosnter's name?
You see I am a bit of a writer. So if you could tell me the name of the monster, I could immortalize your name as a hero that slayed this monster and saved the nine realms themselves!"
"ehehehehe....Fine. Let me regale ypu with it's name. The monster, it is a man. Seven whole feet tall. A giant of a man. And he has claws and fangs that can tear Uru to tatters! He breathes fire and wears a cape made of the bones of his victims!"
"Uhuh. Uhuh." I nodded.
"And his name?"
"Yes yes! This monster...his name is Jay of the Walkers! A traveling terror! Worlds shake at the mere mention of his name and even the mighty flee at the mere hint of it's shadow!"
"I see. He sounds fearsome.
"Exactly. Which is why...." He turned to silence a soldier that was calling him back into formation, waving the soldier away.
I looked over his shoulder and saw the man walking over, his face wreathed in terror as he pointed and waved at the soldier.
Aha! Finally someone has recognised me!
Now this going to be fun.
"Just go already. The monster could be coming to attack us at any time!"
I began to laugh as the soldier looked at me weird and finally the cries of his fellow soldier reached him, a mite too late.
"Get away from him!" The other soldier cried out and the soldier turned to look at him as realization hit him.
"Oh, dear brave soldier...." I smiled,
swiping my hand across the morpher bracelet, as I turned to make a pose.
My bracelet lit up, sending beams of explosive power behind me while covering me in power armor as I looked him down.
My voice distorted into a cacophony of garbled demonic noises for maximum effect, just as the army gathering behind me exploded in a cascading blaze of glory.
"....I AM NOT COMING. FOR I AM ALREADY HERE!"
Aaand he pissed himself.
I bellowed with laughter.
Holy shit! The guy just literally pissed himself!
Man, could this day get any better?
I raised a hand and disintegrated the man where he fell.
Instantly, I felt the entire armada up above me aim their cannons at me.
Oh no no no. You are not doing that.
I turned to look up at the ships and scanned through them, my A.I. chip took control of all of them, turning them against each other, just as they blew their loads.
Payloads that is.
The sky lit up in a tapestry of orange and green and blue, as their weapons fired into each other's paths.
The various beams, missiles, shells and rays collided mid air, exploding in the most vibrant fireworks display I had ever seen as the sky lit up in a tapestry of reds, greens, yellows and blues.
I looked up and smiled, as my face appeared in their ships cameras, looking straight at their commanders, a familiar blue plated alien assassin, Lady Sif and of course, Glenn Close.
"Hello there. Such a nice armada you have here. Be a shame if someone were to....steal it entirely."
"What?" Nebula exclaimed as Glenn reared back from the screen trying to make an escape, and Lady Sif jumped straight off the ship, barreling straight down towards me, sword in hand.
Her, I immediately sniped out of the air, disintegrating her into ashes before turning back to the armada.
"Bye bye~" I waved at them, and with a thought shut down all systems, abd watched the lights sie out all across the entire planet spanning coalition of fleets.
Simultaneously, with all system shut down, I opened up the airlocks, venting the ships empty of air, relegating them all to a slow, excruciatingly painful death, killing all life within while leaving the entire armada unharmed.
After all, why waste perfectly good ships when you can steal them?
With another thought, portal opened up all across the Asgardian skies, and teleport beams shot out from within, storing them away in one of my microverses.
I smiled cruelly, my armor display matching my smile as I turned back to the smoldering heaps of corpses, chunk of flesh and splatters of blood turning the plaza in front of the royal palace into a piece of macabre modern art.
Yup.
Putting the power ranger background explosions into my armor was definitely the right choice!
I nodded with appreciation walking through the palace gates running my hands against the marble, scratching a path into the court like a horror movie villain.
My armor, with all it's dark maroons and jagged egdes was almost made to play the part too!
The screeching of my claws on marble echoed across the silent, scorched halls, only interrupted by the occasional injured soldier soldier that my suit automatically downed.
There was almost no resistance, as the earlier blast had tunneled inwards and wiped the floor with most of the soldiers and those left had presumably retreated to the inner sanctum.
It was honestly a stroll through the park until I came upon the throne room.
Lines upon lines of soldiers stood there in a phalanx, guarding the door.
Behind them Chitauri, Kree and Xandarian soldiers lined up with plasma blasters and laser spears firing at me, bouncing off of my forcefield harmlessly.
"Jay the Walker! Stop where you are and surr-" The leader of the platoon commanded when he was interrupted by outpouring of laughter as I clutched my stomach, doubling over.
"Jay the Walker! Surrender peacefully and we will give you a swift dea-"
I blew his head off, my helmet retreating as I wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Oh boy. That was hilarious. I mean seriously. I just decimated your space fleet. One man. All alone. And your first response is to-"
A chitauri screamed and shot at me, his blaster bolt dissipated powerlessly against my forcefield.
I rolled my eyes at him.
"See this. This shit right here. That's what I'm talking about. Sure, the first hundred or so times you shot me didn't put a scratch on me but this shot. This one fucking shot will do the trick.
Do the lot of you have no common sense? I wiped out your navy and your army. Within seconds. And you think shooting me will save you?" I asked, disintegrating the Chitauri warrior.
"You know the usual response to that is to drop your weapons and run the other way for dear life. I suggest you do that. Leave now, and I promise, no hard feelings. I won't hurt you. Final chance to save your lives." I gestured at the hallway behind me.
"Go."
There was silence for a moment as they all looked between me and the hallway unsure of what to do.
Then, one of the younger Asgardians stepped forward.
I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Warriors of Asgard don't run from battle-" He shouted.
Immediately, I lasered him through the crotch and he fell down clutching his groin as he died from pain, shock and his blood flash boiling to 200 degrees Celsius.
An example to the rest of them.
"Warriors of Asgard get shot through their balls and die eunuchs." I warned, scanning the crowd.
None dare moved as they stood in place, shaken and afraid.
"Is that how you want to be remembered.
Bjorn Ericsson, died dickless at 19."
"His name was Pyotr." A soldier corrected.
"Do I look like I care what his goddamn name was, dickbag? I was making an example. Or is that too hard for you to understand?! Do I need to blow your head open to get through that thick skull of yours?" I snapped.
"I swear. I tried. Offee knows I tried. I didn't want to kill unnecessarily, but some people are too daft to let live." I sighed, rubbing my temples.
"Alright. Time's up."
"Wait we ca-" One soldier raised his hands in surrender but it was too late.
My suit flashed out a blast of disintegration beams, strafing the entirety of the hallway, turning them all to ash.
I shook my head.
"Idiots. All of them idiots."
Walking up to the door, I reared my fist back, before letting loose a punch at the door.
My fist blew out all the air in the room with it's force, the hall echoing with the sound of the floor cracking beneath my might.
I slammed my fist into the door, and with a thunderous boom, it shattered, blowing off its hinges as it's pieces turned to giant shrapnel, almost tearing through the people within, when a golden light burst from within transforming them all to dust.
The Odinforce.
At the centre of the power stood Odin, his spear Gungnir gleaming with the same power
"Welcome Jay Walker.
I shot a laser at him, not wanting to hear his bullshit one second longer.
He frowned and deflected the laser effortlessly with his spear, as he got into a battle stance.
"You didn't tell me we were having a party! I hope I'm not intruding. I'd hate to incovenience you." I said.
"Oh not at all. In fact, you're the guest of honor in this feast." Odin replied, with a soft smile.
"And by that you mean main course. No doubt an exquisite selection." I snarked, walking into the room.
"Precisely." A deep voice echoed, and a surge of purple energy rippled across the floor slamming savagely into my forcefield, causing the whole palace to shake.
A blur crashed down from above, slamming an axe into my shields, as more of the same purple energy exploded out, causing my forcefield to flicker.
I looked up at the man, his chin like a wrinkled ballsack, his eyes keen and cold, his skin purple like the energy he wielded.
I smiled wide, turning to Odin.
"And you brought me a present too! How nice of you!"
"I'm glad you like it." Odin said, powering up his spear, as they began to surround me.
"Very much so!" I quipped, "Maybe I'll even grant you a quick death."
"You will try." Thanos said, twirling his axe, as he circled me, snapping his fingers.
So he got stormbreaker this time around, huh?
And is that....
I noticed something glowing in the hilt of the axe.
Something faint yet powerful.
And unceasingly purple.
The power stone!
Wow. I must have really messed up the timeline for that to happen!
With heavy yet deceptively soft steps, several figures walked out from behind the many pillars of the throne room.
And it was an all star show up.
Ebony Maw.
Ronan The Accuser.
Gamora.
The Other.
Cull Obsidian.
Corvus Glaive.
Proxima Midnight.
Thor.
Loki.
Heimdall.
And the warriors three. I forget their names.
"Just one last question before I wipe the floor with you shitstains. Tell me Odin. Since when did Asgard start allying itself with genocidal maniacs? You do know that if he survives this he will wipe out half of all Asgardians, right?"
"Better than letting Asgardians become refugees at the mercy of some other race of creatures.
We have enemies, those that wouldn't spare a second in eliminating us all if we lost our home and it's immense power.
It would be as good as pushing Asgardians into extinction.
Compared to that, half of all Asgardians is a small price to pay, if at all." Odin explained.
"You could have just asked for my protection, idiot! You didn't have to do this." I mocked.
"Would have protected us?" Odin asked with a deadpan look.
"Oh heavens no." I waved, "But I still prefer that you ask, so I can refuse you."
Odin sighed.
"Then war it is." He raised his soear pointing it at me.
I smiled and teleported in a reality anchor, activating it instantly.
"A war? No. Nonononono." I wagged my finger at him, shaking my head, "I think you're mistaken about your position here, Odin." I grinned evilly.
"This will be a massacre."
